a/n: I like this one. A lot. It rudely interrupted my writing of a different one, though.

Pairing: TeddyVic

Word count: 1514

you're all the home I need

Silly to feel so vaguely nostalgic of times that haven't, and most likely will never, happen. Silly to feel a pang in your chest and watch the smile melt off your face as you ponder all those things you have never done, the things you know you will never do. Silly to feel like part of you is leaving as he walks out that door, headed off to somewhere far, far away where he'll undergo amazing adventures and you'll sit here, at home, alone. How silly of you to sit down on the couch, fold your hands in your lap, and allow yourself to cry at all the things that will never be.

He's one of those regrets. He'll always be the one that got away because your lust for adventure just doesn't come anywhere close to his, so he left. You called out, "wait, wait for me!" and he asked if you'd actually come. You, of course, said no. No, you're happy here. You have a life here, family, a stable job. No, you wouldn't come, but you wanted him to wait. Would you have asked him to wait forever, even if he hadn't been so impatient to leave? Would you have been selfish enough to detain him, keep him prisoner here because you couldn't stand the fact that you would have to live without him? Does it even matter?

No, no it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that yes, you would've gripped his arm and begged him to stay. You would have allowed all these tears to fall, if you knew that they'd stop him, and allow guilt to blossom in his stomach until he was convinced that you'd just die on your own. You would have actually done that, had he not turned his back at your 'no', and left.

Does that make you a bad person? Does it make him an exceptional one? That he knew you so well as to not fall victim to your selfish pleas, had he, you would've been ill from the knowledge of your selfish betrayal. You would've hated keeping him in a state of perpetual unhappiness, but you wouldn't have been able to let go. So he did you a favor, in a way, just breaking free. He saved you from yourself later, while endangering your current state of mind.

Maybe travel wouldn't be so bad. Maybe you'd actually like to see the world. Hike around Japan, explore the beaches of Greece, take a dingy rowboat from a town so small it's practically non-existent to a yurt in the middle of the rainforest in Ecuador. But no, why do that when you can see pictures of Japan, visit the beaches here, and stay in the air-conditioned comfort of your home, here, in London. So you said no, because you're not the type of girl who would leave all the conveniences of home. Not even for the most important person in your life.

As a small girl, you always saw yourself with him. You were the princess, royalty with those golden locks and periwinkle eyes and golden skin that glittered in the early morning sun. You were caviar and champagne to celebrate your sixteenth birthday, the finest of presents from your maman, and a proud smile from papa. And he was your knight in shining armor, the boy that was always, always there to make your grin. He told you that you were beautiful, which you were, and that he loved you, which he did. And you honestly couldn't imagine a life without him.

Now look, he's gone! Because while you may have been a princess, his armor was rusty. Instead of journeying to save you, he wanted to fight dragons just for the hell of it. You were a stop along the way, one that he enjoyed, to be sure, but you weren't his everything. That was precisely the problem; he wasn't fully satisfied with just you, and no more. If you are to be honest, you'd realize that you weren't satisfied with just him, either, otherwise you would have let him lead you around the globe, content to be in one hundred degree weather, covered in bug repellant, exploring some bug-infested jungle, so long as he was there. But he wasn't enough. You needed your tiara, polished with all the diamonds sparkling, and he just couldn't wear a tie for one more day.

But where does that leave you right now, today? Here, that's where. Here in this room, alone, with your life lying in ratted shards at your feet, so sharp with acute pain that they could touch you and you'd actually bleed real, red blood. It leaves here in the sitting room, perched on a couch that feels too stiff and unyielding to your slight weight in a house that feels cold and empty when you're the sole occupant. It leaves your pondering the mistake you just made and whether or not you have the courage to imagine it any other way.

Do you? He turned his back prematurely, directly after his brisk goodbye. He didn't even offer you a spot alongside him on the trip, knowing you'd turn it down. He saw you, and at one time loved you, for what you are, a bloody coward. But you can still see his face in your mind, that sad, sweet smile and those large eyes clouded with frustration. He was frustrated with you, he wanted you to stop him, which you did, but he actually wanted you to come along. He knew he needed to leave, but he wanted you to be there with him. And you, well, you didn't. You stopped him because you thought you needed him to stay, but what he needed was to get out.

You should have gone. You should have grabbed his arm and told him that you'd go anywhere, as long as he was there. You should have blushed at how cheesy your pleading was, and he should have chuckled, and the two of you should have tangled fingers and promised "forever" with the intention of keeping it. But you didn't, silly and selfish; you couldn't bear the thought of losing material comforts.

Look where vanity's gotten you. See how alone you are, how goosebumps run up your arms and regular noises begin to seem eerie without your protector. Feel how cold your flesh is, saturated with the kind of chill that a blanket won't warm. Taste the salt water that runs from your perfect blue eyes as you ponder the fate you created for yourself. Vanity, selfishness, an inability to sacrifice for love; see what it did to you?

So you make up your mind and you stand up suddenly, brush imaginary dirt off your clean, white, linen trousers. You briskly walk upstairs and grab a bag, stuff two pairs of shorts, one pair of jeans, and a few crisp blouses in. You zip it closed with a satisfied smile, grab your wallet and hurry downstairs.

The door opens with a familiar screech, you turn around and lock up, tossing the keys in your pocket after rotating them once. With your back still to the street, you push your chin up. Maybe your act of bravery is belated, but you won't slump as you rush off to find him.

Then you turn around.

And gracelessly run into someone. You drop your bag, and lean down to retrieve it when you catch sight of turquoise hair. Turquoise hair, just like that of your knight in tarnished armor.

Oh! It is him. All the breath leaves your body and your hands begin to tremble. Your pretty mouth opens and words begin to gush out, overlapping each other as you try so desperately to get him to understand your current intentions.

"You. I couldn't leave you and be selfish and alone and cold! So cold!" And he's him, he's your knight, so he knows just what you mean, even if you have no clue what you're saying, so he pulls you close. He smells like pine trees and smoke and that cologne you bought for him last month.

"I was coming back for you. Turns out, home is harder to leave when you're there," he speaks into your hair, saying the perfect words to make you remember even more why he's the perfect man for you.

"I love you," is all you manage to choke out before he notices your luggage and reads your intentions.

"Were you," he asks incredulously, "actually planning on traveling with me?" and you nod yes, yes you were, and yes you will because now that you're so close, you can't even stand the thought of watching him walk away again.

He bends down for a perfect kiss and it's bliss because his body's always fit perfectly against yours and it really doesn't matter where in the world you are, because he's home. How silly of you to ever forget that.

a/n: If you liked this enough to favorite or put on alert, please don't forget to review!