Title: I'm not gay!
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: M
Warnings: explicit sexual content, tipsy sex, first times, nerdy!Merlin, prattish!Arthur (perhaps they are a little OOC) and some attempts at humour and angst (although I don't know if they are any good). Oh, also, I'm sorry for all the stupid and prattish opinions you can find in this fic, but since it's written from Arthur's POV, they are all his! ;)
Disclaimer: All credits go to BBC Merlin for creating such wonderful characters!
Summary: ModernAU. Arthur is completely straight. Then, why does that nerd always look at him like that in class? And why does it affect him so much? All he needs is a night out and everything will solve itself... Or not? nerdy!merlin/prattish!Arthur. Slash.
Word count for this chapter: around 4,500
AN: The third chapter is here! Thanks for all the new followings, favourites and lovely reviews! I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I really wanted to publish this chapter some days ago but lots of work prevented me. Now, I warn you, bear in mind that this chapter is the one with sexual content (but, anyway, I have the feeling you were waiting for this to happen!;)). At he moment, I'm still a bit stuck on the last chapter. I have already finished it but I don't like it very much so I'm going to give myself some days to mull it over and see if I can improve it (I hope it won't take me too long...). As always, let me know what you think about this!
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CHAPTER THREE – A (weird) night of (clumsy) passion
The walk back to Arthur's home was a bit blurred to him. It went as in a dream. Arthur's flat wasn't that far away but it was a good 15 minutes walk from Camelot's night club. However, the giddiness (not to say the drunkenness) hadn't abandoned his system and once away from the strobe lights and the racket in the disco, Arthur could feel its effects full force. It felt as if his head were spinning around, his body completely disconnected from his mind, free to do as it wanted. He was exactly in that moment when everything seems better, or more like perfect, when you can't stop smiling, laughing and feeling euphoric over every stupid little thing accomplished. And in this case, what Arthur had accomplished was nothing else than getting sloshed and accepting to have sex with a man. Weird.
Merlin, for his part, was quite more sober. After all, he had only drunk a beer and a couple of sips of that awful cocktail. Nevertheless, it was obvious that he was as agitated as Arthur. Although the later was barely able to think straight at the moment, he could clearly notice how extremely nervous the boy was. How? The fact that he couldn't stop babbling about anything and everything was a great giveaway. And so, what Arthur expected to be a never-ending walk proved to be quite the contrary because, in order to cover up his uneasiness, Arthur found himself listening to the nerd and he even encouraged his soon to be lover to talk more.
And Arthur discovered Merlin wasn't as introverted as he seemed. A couple of simple questions and the nerd had opened completely. He talked about their Maths lessons and professor Killian, his studies in Chemistry, his job at the bookshop, his uncle (Gaius? What kind of name is that?), his favourite books, his mum, his childhood in a village called Ealdor, and really all the topics he could think of. At first, Arthur thought it was too much information but he didn't have the heart to stop him and he found adorable how the geek would ramble and gesture with his hands (really, why couldn't his hands stay still?). So, Arthur just leaned on him (perhaps more than necessary but he felt a bit unstable), an arm around Merlin's shoulders, and he listened and laughed as they walked together.
Arthur noticed he truly wanted to know more about his little cute nerd, which he supposed to be normal when planning on experimenting such an important moment with someone (isn't it?) and all those ramblings gave him the perfect opportunity to explore Merlin's personality and realize he was as endearing as he had thought. Somehow, Arthur forgot about his nervousness. Merlin was much more than he had expected him to be. He was not only a gay geek with a stupid huge crush on him but a fairly nice guy and perhaps in different circumstances they might have been good mates.
Arthur couldn't decide whether it was too soon when suddenly they found themselves in front of his building. Perhaps he wasn't so drunk if he had been able to get them home safely. But then Merlin commented he had seen Arthur entering the building a couple of times and Gwaine had confirmed to him this was where he lived. So, yeah, the guy might be a stalker after all and undoubtedly he had been the one to take them home unharmed.
As Arthur unlocked the door (well, it was Merlin but just because the keys refused to cooperate), the so much feared anxiety and insecurity returned. Their ride up in the lift was less animated than their previous conversation. God, he was about to do pervy things with a man! Arthur didn't know if he was going to be able to go that far or if he was going to like it or... No, he must stop thinking altogether. He had been doing that all night, even when impossibly stoned and neither the fresh air of their walk back home nor the nerd's insane prattle had dissuaded him from his intentions. Now, he had gone too far to back out.
Once inside Arthur's not so modest flat (it practically screamed 'I'm filthy rich'), Merlin looked around curiously (and nervously) while Arthur observed him. He had already seen his flat but his current predicament was new to him. What would he do if he had brought home a girl and not Merlin (which was his original plan in the first place)? The answer was clear and maybe that was what he had to do.
Arthur didn't think it twice before he kissed Merlin a second time, or more precisely he attacked him with his lips and this time there was no mercy. He forced the boy's mouth open and explored it with his tongue. He sucked, nibbled, licked and kissed until Merlin was a mewling mess in his hands. When they finally parted for some much needed air, Arthur couldn't suppress a big smirk. This wasn't that bad, in fact, it was quite good. And God, Merlin's face as he tried to get his bearings back – his lips moist, his cheeks red, his eyes glassy... and he was the one who wasn't drunk...
As they looked at each other with a mixture of feelings that went from exhilaration to confusion, a sudden idea struck Arthur. "Do you know how to do it?" he asked. After all, he wasn't gay. He hadn't done it with a guy before and he was a bit out of sorts at the moment. So Merlin should be the one in charge. However, the boy simply blushed (Arthur had never thought it possible to become that red without being sunburned) and lowered his gaze.
"I've never done it before..." (Wait a moment, a virgin! For some reason, Arthur felt like he should have known it) "but I know how to do it and I... have practised on myself..." Merlin added dubiously and in that moment he was so damn adorable that Arthur threw his doubts out the window and leaned down to attack the nerd's long pale provocative neck. He assaulted it conscientiously as his hands dared to leave their safe position on Merlin's hips to wander up his back and shoulders and then down to that perky round arse which his addled mind found extremely nice.
It took Arthur just a few seconds to grow bold enough to take Merlin's vest off and sneak his hands under his shirt in order to touch bare skin, as his lips left a wet trail from the geek's neck (well and some lovebites too) up to his face and lips. Then, Arthur decided it was time to leave the uncomfortable wall in front of the door to his flat and move things to his more comfortable bedroom. So he regrettably parted their lips once more and caught Merlin's smaller wandering hands in his to stop their caressing. He might seem a nerd but he hadn't lost time either since Arthur had felt firsthand those hands remove his jacket too and explore and stroke his upperbody above his t-shirt.
Arthur allowed himself a moment to regain his breath and contemplate an uninhibited Merlin. Then he just could say a word, 'Bed' and his partner for the night just nodded like an eager puppy. More reassured now, Arthur guided Merlin to his spacious bedroom. As it suited a Pendragon, it was well-decorated and, of course, a king size bed presided it. Obviously, they directed their steps towards the bed, their hands still joined, but once there, insecurity resurfaced again. What to do now? They looked at each other, still half dressed. The obvious step to take was to remedy that and so Arthur did. He let go of Merlin's hand and took his t-shirt off. The nerd looked at him with big round eyes from behind his glasses, biting his lower lip unconsciously. God, that was so sexy!
Arthur, for his part, stood there waiting for Merlin to react. It wasn't until Arthur cleared his throat that the nerd took the hint. When Merlin finally caught up, he unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it too. A new round of heated starring at each other occurred. Merlin continued admiring Arthur's defined abs (which he surely had wished for so long) while Arthur... Well, Arthur observed Merlin really wasn't a girl. That is, he didn't have boobs and for a moment that confused him. But on second thoughts, that didn't have to be bad thing (did it?). After all, Merlin did have nipples, so Arthur decided to try it anyway.
Still a bit unsteady but more sober than before, Arthur approached the nerd and without a by your leave, he pinched one of his nipples. When an involuntary moan escaped Merlin's lips, Arthur went for it. He leaned down and nibbled and liked the sweet nub in his mouth while Merlin played with the strands of his golden hair. More confident now, Arthur's hands descended towards that arse he had found so interesting a few minutes ago. He stroked it with great pleasure and for an instant he was about to go for the zip and take those damned annoying trousers down when a disturbing idea came to his mind. No boobs where something he apparently could handle rather well but a cock...
Arthur stopped his ministrations with a frown painted on his face as he leaned away from Merlin and looked down at the nerd's crotch. There was a small bulge there, matching the one in his trousers. He had got on the mood really quickly but now for the first time since all this craziness started, Arthur gave himself time to consider what the heck was he going to do with that part of the geek. A new wave of apprehension assaulted him. What did he expect? This guy (however cute he might be) was a man after all. Of course he had a cock.
In a bit of a panic, Arthur released Merlin from his loose embrace and took a couple of steps back until the back of his legs touched the edge of the bed. He slumped onto it and took a couple of quick breaths. In his new sitting position he tried to calm himself and ponder his options as he observed a still standing and very confused Merlin. Although Arthur wasn't ready do admit it (even to himself), he might be a little afraid (of a cock!) at the moment. But when he looked up at the nerd's lovely face, when he contemplated the adoration the boy radiated, when he thought about what the nerd had done to get to him... Well, the desire for him was still obviously there. Did that mean it was alright to go ahead?
Then, Merlin made the decision for the both of them. He sent Arthur a lovely trusting smile and knelt in front of him. In that moment, Arthur felt like he couldn't move, completely paralyzed at the mercy of his nerd, who with trembling hands unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans before lowering them a bit along with his posh pants to sprang free his erection. Yep, incredibly Arthur was still rock hard, despite all his insecurities. Merlin was a guy (that had already been cleared up) and yet he was looking at his cock with such an amazed hungry gaze as he bit his lower lip shyly that Arthur couldn't help but groan in anticipation.
And so, Arthur's past worries evaporated once more when Merlin slowly and hesitantly bowed his head and tried to take as much of his length in his mouth, stroking the rest of it with a trembling hand. Of course, Arthur shuddered as soon as that hot cavern enveloped him and started to suck in earnest, bobbing up and down. It was obvious since the first second that the boy had no great technique (because really, what kind of blow job was that when he didn't even licked or kissed his prick a bit before engulfing it), but then Merlin looked up at him from under those impossibly long eyelashes (and those cute glasses) with so much devotion that the experience intensified by a tenfold and the fact that it was a guy who was sucking him off didn't matter any more.
In fact, just thinking that it was his stalker, his nerd, his Merlin, who had his lips wrapped tightly around his cock, gagging around it as he tried desperately to pleasure him at all costs, (when it was painfully obvious he didn't know exactly how to do it) aroused him even more than that delicious mouth. To Arthur, it seemed the most obscene thing he had ever done in all his life (and he had done quite a lot of pervy things with his exs...) but nothing of that could compare to this. Perhaps, it was his still fuzzy mind or it was the heat of the moment, but right then and there he decided he wanted more. So his hands, which till the moment had been resting on the bed as he observed the fascinating sight in front of him, got into action and went to stop Merlin's head, still working on his hard on.
A bit regretfully Merlin let his cock go with a wet pop and peered up at him with something akin fear. His expressive face said it all. He really was an open book. It was so evident how much he feared displeasing him, how much he dreaded doing something that would make Arthur change his opinion and send him away. For him, this was his opportunity to make his dream come true, to have with Arthur something more than the bashful glances he had been sending him those last few months. It was clear he would go as far as he had to keep Arthur by his side. And that was all Arthur needed to get his courage and dare do what he never thought he would.
Arthur's hands moved from the strands of Merlin's dark hair to cup those lovely sharp cheekbones, preventing the nerd from looking away from his determined gaze. Although he had already made the decision, Arthur found himself stuttering when he stared at the boy directly in the eyes and said, "I want more... that is...I heard gays... you know... your arse..."
Merlin's eyes opened wide as he understood what Arthur wanted. "You want to... go all the way?" the nerd asked very nervously, his voice flattering a little, as his hands joined Arthur's and brought them from Merlin's face to Arthur's lap, where they rested intertwined.
"If it's alright with you..." Arthur answered insecurely. He didn't want to force the nerd (the situation was weird enough as it was) but he was afraid he would never be brave enough to do something like that as he was in the moment and somehow he knew he would regret if he didn't.
Merlin, however, didn't doubt it very much. In a second he was nodding eagerly like a pleased puppy, as he breathed a grateful 'yes'. His bright smile was so contagious that Arthur found himself grinning like a loon when Merlin leaned up, all his shyness forgotten, and planted a passionate kiss in Arthur's mouth. Arthur's response was the only possible one. He kissed him back, licking those sweet plump lips, nibbling and even sucking at them as his arms found their way around the boy's back to help him up and onto the bed, where they made themselves comfortable to kiss more lazily.
It didn't take them much time for their hands to restart their wandering over the other's body. Arthur was still a bit freaked out for not finding the usual appendages in his bed partner, but he overlooked it easily thanks to the marvelous sounds Merlin uttered with each of his caresses. Encouraged, Arthur pinched his nipples again before his hands went down to sneak inside Merlin's pants to feel his arse while he enjoyed Merlin's soft hands on his body.
Unconsciously, Arthur grabbed both of Merlin's arse cheeks tightly and brought the boy closer to him so that he could rub his cock against the rough fabric of Merlin's trousers. Merlin's bulge seemed to have grown bigger but this time Arthur didn't find it in himself to care at all. And when Merlin's wrapped a hand around his erection and started to stroke it again, Arthur thought he was in heaven itself. However, it was his own need that made him move away from Merlin's exquisite tongue, which at the moment was battling (and losing spectacularly) with his. Arthur had to remind himself he wanted more than coming shamefully soon by a guy's hand around his prick.
Their gazes stayed locked for a couple of seconds, Merlin's still looking a bit fearful but extremely cute with his tousled hair, his swollen lips, his rosy cheeks and his glasses perched on his nose in a weird angle. Arthur straightened them in a tender gesture as he gathered up his nerve to glance down at Merlin's clothed crotch and asked intelligently, "Could you...?"
Thankfully, this time Merlin caught up soon enough and he took matters into his own hands, conscious of how uncomfortable were certain things for Arthur. So Merlin stood up to undo his trousers and kick out his shoes, Arthur observing all his movements from the bed. In no time, he pulled down his trousers and underpants and stood naked in all his glory in front of an amazed Arthur. Of course, he had seen other men like that before (he had showered in changing rooms since he was old enough to do sport) but that couldn't compare to this. All those times they were his mates from the team or the gym, they didn't care at all about their nakedness and they certainly weren't about to do wicked things to one another.
Merlin seemed a bit awkward and he tried to cover his erection from Arthur's prying eyes while once more bitting shyly his lower lip. Arthur just gulped down, still not sure what he was getting himself into. But now it was too late to stop. "No," Arthur commanded more confident than he really felt. "I want to see you..." And Merlin moved away his hands so that Arthur could fix his gaze on his hard cock, thinner and smaller than his, but a cock nonetheless. Arthur didn't allow himself to think more about it and let his eyes wander over the rest of the geek's pale body. He was skinny (Arthur could see some protruding ribs and wondered if the nerd eat at all) but it wasn't unpleasant. He didn't have defined muscles like Arthur, but his body was well formed and proportioned and somehow Arthur could only find a word to describe it – beautiful.
Then Merlin speaking bring Arthur out of his reverie. "I need... mmm..." he was saying dubiously. "Do you have... something..." Arthur's mind seemed too slow at the moment to understand what the boy wanted, forcing the nerd to say the embarrassing words, "...some lube... to ease..."
"Oh," that was all Arthur was able to say for a few seconds before he pointed to his bedside table and answered, "You can find some lube and condoms in the top drawer." Then he added lamely, "I have them just in case..." It was just a reflex reaction since he was single at the moment and had no obligation towards Merlin. Nevertheless, his chest felt warmer when Merlin smiled at him after his justification, clearly pleased that Arthur wasn't seeing someone right then.
For a few minutes, Arthur simply watched Merlin's as he readied himself. He got the lube from the drawer and opened the tube with shaky hands. Not looking back at Arthur, he applied some to his fingers before leaving the lube on the bedside table. Then, he brought his hand back to his arse. Arthur couldn't see what he was doing but the movements of his arm were explicit enough. Unwittingly, Arthur started to stroke his own cock lazily while enjoying the view Merlin made. Some moans and groans escaped both their lips as they pleasured themselves, but Merlin wasn't able to look at Arthur the whole time.
Suddenly, Merlin stopped his ministrations and finally raised his eyes to stare at Arthur. The need he exuded was unmistakable as he took in Arthur's wanking. His cheeks coloured some more as he retrieved a condom from the open drawer and tore the wrapping open clumsily (making it even more obvious that he hadn't done that before). Next, Merlin joined him in the bed, kneeling beside him and trying to put the condom on his cock. Thankfully, Arthur took pity on him and helped him to do it correctly (basically because Arthur was at his wits' end by now and it could have taken Merlin a good half an hour and several condoms to do it right).
With the condom in place and Merlin prepared, a new awkward moment occurred. Neither of them was sure how to proceed now when it was clear what they needed to do. Arthur took the easy way out and hugged Merlin against him, making the boy lay down on the bed comfortably, as he turned to the safe wet kisses. That was something they had done before and Arthur had found both pleasurable and not very disconcerting (so they were back on known ground). Arthur also made sure Merlin's cock didn't touch his as the nerd rubbed himself against Arthur's jeans (thanks God, he hadn't taken them down yet since he didn't know if he was prepared to handle that) as he rubbed himself (condom and all) against Merlin's bare hip.
The friction was so delicious, their caresses so heavenly, their kisses so sweet, that Arthur finally gave in. Doubts be damned, he didn't care anymore. He parted their lips and admired his lover's body as he regained some of his lost bearings. He gulped down once more and went for it. Very slowly he parted Merlin's legs and positioned himself between them. Now, he had a perfect view of the boy's hard cock twitching with need against his belly and that small pink hole that seemed so inviting... Arthur merely gave himself a few seconds to take down his trousers a bit more before taking his cock in hand and directing it to Merlin's arse.
Afraid of hurting Merlin and still a little insecure, Arthur entered Merlin very slowly. When Merlin's breath hitched Arthur stopped completely, halfway in. He looked up at Merlin's face and found him with his eyes closed, his expression a mixture of pain and ecstasy. He waited until the boy opened his eyes and nodded at him bashfully. Then, Arthur pushed again and didn't stop until his cock was completely buried in. His hands intertwined with Merlin's as he gave him some seconds to get used to the intrusion while he tried to keep himself from coming right there. Gods, Merlin was so tight... Arthur had never felt something like this.
Their ragged breathing started to normalize as their eyes roamed each other's body and more than often fixed themselves in the exact point where they joined. But that didn't last long. When Merlin bucked against Arthur, he couldn't delay it any more. Arthur withdrew and thrust back in. The first time he did it more slowly, but then he picked up his pace and soon he was all but slamming himself into Merlin. Too intoxicated by all the sensations, Arthur leaned down and resumed their forgotten kissing. This time he didn't give a damn when Merlin's cock brushed against his bare stomach. In fact, the moans that elicited from Merlin were more than enough to provoke him more and their kisses and caresses turned more needy and desperate, his thrusts quicker if that was even possible.
When Arthur's mouth left the solace of Merlin's lips to nibble and suck at his neck and collarbones, Merlin found himself free to whisper encouraging words. "Ar...thur... Arthur... Please... More... Please..." he repeated as his hands stroked Arthur's back and his legs sneaked around Arthur's hips, all in an attempt to bring them closer, to make Arthur's cock go deeper and brush that part inside him that make him forget the whole world. But then he also added, "Please... touch... touch me..."
Arthur just needed a second to register the meaning of his pleading and another to overcome all his fears. One of his hands left its position at Merlin's waist to wrap itself around the nerd's throbbing cock. Even in his high state, Arthur could notice how different it was from his, in weight and shape. His first impression was that it was all wrong but then he felt that it wasn't a bad kind of wrong but a right one. However, as he wasn't used to wank someone while fucking, it took him several attempts so he could coordinate his stroking with his thrusts.
Then it was all a matter of a few minutes. As his pleasure escalated, his jerking movements became more strenuous until something sticky and hot splashed into his belly and hand while Merlin moaned wantonly and his hole clenched around his length. That brought Arthur over the edge and in no time he was coming too with so much pleasure that all kind of coherent thought abandoned him. Later he would think it was the most mind blowing experience he had ever had in all his life but for the moment he simply couldn't know what he was doing. Did he stop his ministrations to Merlin's sated cock? Did he keep pumping his hips until he released the last of his need into the condom? Or did he stay completely still until the pleasure passed and he slumped onto Merlin?
Arthur didn't know any more, but that was how he found himself when he regained conscience, lying on top of Merlin, almost crushing the nerd with his weight. Thankfully, Merlin was too far gone to complain but he did whine a little when Arthur rolled around a bit to give himself some space to take off the condom and toss it to the ground after tying it. Arthur felt exceedingly tired but there was still something he wanted to do before drifting off to sleep. He lifted his hands and with as much delicacy as he could muster he took Merlin's big glasses off and left them on the bedside table.
When Arthur turned around he let himself enjoy the cute face those damned glasses hid. The word 'beautiful' crossed his mind again as Merlin smiled at him innocently (even after all they had done!) and nibbled at his lower lip a bit insecurely as he made to get closer to him. Arthur chuckled contentedly at his unexpected lover's adorable shyness and wrapped his arms around his thin frame, allowing the nerd to snuggle up to him. When sleep took them, they were cuddling lovingly.
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Thanks for reading!
