Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

GabrielBlade put ideas into my head that mutated into scenes in this chapter.

I'm Mr. Blue (1959 song by The Fleetwoods)

Kim arrived early at the office the next morning to read the riot act to Shego in regard to office attire. "What would anyone think who came in here and saw you dressed like that?"

"That this is a fun place to work?"

"No. That is not what they would think."

"Tell me, Princess–"

"Please don't call me that."

"Okay, Sugar-lips, now–"

"You may call me Princess," Kim sighed.

"Fine. Now, Pumpkin, tell me–"

"Do you practice being annoying?"

"No. It's this natural talent. The point is, does anyone come in here besides us?"

"Yes."

"Oh, and that Stephens character."

"Yes."

"How often, be honest?"

Kim chewed her lip nervously. "Okay, clients usually call or use the web, but they sometimes come in. Our parents sometimes stop by to see how things are going and–"

"Is your mom as hot as you are?"

"What!"

"Just asking."

"You leave my mother alone! Look, I asked Wade what he did yesterday and he said nothing. Zip! And you know why?"

"'Cause he's lazy?"

"No," Kim drawled in a sarcastic tone, "he's an eighteen year old guy, blind-sided by three distractions."

Shego smirked, "Well, one is my ass – are you counting each boob separately?"

"I was counting cleavage, rear, and legs," Kim told the genie in an angry voice. "Stop distracting Wade!"

"I didn't want to distract Wade," Shego pouted. "I wanted to distract you." She rubbed a hand over Kim's hip, "but you weren't around much."

Kim slapped Shego's hand away, marched into her office and slammed the door, and turned to find Shego now sitting in Kim's office chair with her legs up on the desk, "Oh, good," Shego purred, "door closed for privacy."

"GET OUT!" Kim screamed.

Shego sighed, but got up to leave, "If I walk out the door you'll regret it, Princess. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

Kim simply opened the door and pointed out at Shego's desk and the genie left.

Ron had a pot of coffee for the nine-thirty staff meeting, and Wade had a loaf of whole grain zucchini bread as they gathered around the coffee table in the waiting area.

"What's in this, sawdust?" Shego complained when she sampled the bread.

"No sugar," Kim explained.

"I used to be fat," Wade explained. "I'm trying to eat healthier now."

"And I believe you said you got essentially nothing done yesterday?" Kim commented to start the meeting.

Wade nodded glumly.

"Hey, give the guy a break," Shego protested. "He had to show your new partner the ropes. He was wonderful, outstanding, a credit to his weight."

Wade shot her a grateful look for the first part of her speech, "And Shego files like magic. We're on top of basic filing and I'll be able to get billing done in no time today."

"I'm magic in oh so many ways," Shego winked at Kim. "I can show you–"

Kim cleared her throat with a cough, "Ron, how was your hostage situation?"

Ron gave his report, then asked Kim about the Global Justice briefing.

"They'd like us to stop Drakken again. Today if possible." She looked over at Wade, "You'll need to arrange a ride for Ron and me to Walla Walla as soon as the meeting's done."

"Walla Walla?"

"Drakken's latest lair."

"This would be a lot faster if we had our own plane."

"We can't afford a plane."

"Time out," Shego called. "Why is Global Justice asking a couple freelancers to stop this guy? Is he too lame to bother with, or you better than I think?"

"Experience," Wade told her. "Kim and Ron have more experience stopping him than anyone."

"And he's kind of lame," Kim admitted. "Not worth their manpower. Cheaper to hire us."

"Don't sell yourself short, KP," Ron protested. He turned to Shego, "Drakken's a real threat. But Kim is super at knocking out the Bebes, while Rufus here finds the self-destruct switch and I punch it... Unless Drakken realizes he's losing and punches it first."

"Bebes? Self-destruct switches? Hey your new partner needs to be brought up to speed."

"You're not our new partner," Kim told her.

"Well, you can't call me your old partner, it's insulting. So, tell me more about this Drakken guy."

"Probably Kim's most implacable foe," Wade began.

"Implacable... Does that have something to do with gum disease?" Ron asked.

"No, Ron," Kim sighed.

"Evil genius of the first order, but he has a few quirks that usually bring about his defeat," Wade continued. "He's got these female robot henchmen who–"

"Shouldn't that be henchwomen?" Shego asked.

"I think the phrase henchman applies to either a man or a woman," Kim explained.

"But you also said robot," Shego argued. "And robots aren't human, they're its, not thems."

"They look like women," Ron argued, "act like it too."

"What was that remark?" Kim demanded.

"Well, that one time, they were all concerned about their looks and–"

"I'll hold him down," Shego offered Kim, "if you want to punch him."

"That's okay," Kim sighed, "Drakken did screw up their programming that way once. He hasn't gotten them right yet. Usually they're too dumb to be a real threat – taking everything too literally. A couple times he's set them too bright, and actually had to call us himself and ask for help. Oh, has anyone mentioned yet that Drakken and the Bebes are blue?"

"As in depressed all the time?"

"As in skin color. For the Bebes it's Drakken's choice. We don't know why he's a blue color."

"He also tries to save money by buying discount parts," Ron explained. "And some of the time his stuff just doesn't work. And he always builds in a self-destruct button."

"That part makes no sense to me," Shego argued.

"And taking over the world with blue girl robots does?" Wade asked. "He's a genius, and he doesn't want anyone else getting their hands on his ideas. If he can't use his invention then no one can."

"If he's such a threat, why don't they just lock him up in prison or put him in the looney bin?" Shego demanded.

"Psychiatric hospital, not looney bin," Kim corrected her. "Looney bin is insulting."

"Hey, if the flue shits," Shego countered.

"His genius extends to escapes," Kim continued. "Give him a paperclip and he can open any lock."

Shego raised her hand in the air and waved it, like a second grader excited to have the answer to twelve minus seven.

"Yes?" Kim asked.

"Oh, oh! I have a badical idea!"

"Yes?"

"Don't give him a paperclip."

"It doesn't have to be a paperclip," Ron explained. "A piece of wire or–"

"She gets it, Ron," Kim told him.

"But she said–"

"She's just causing trouble. It's her natural state."

"If you can call being a genie a natural state," Wade threw in.

"Sometimes he works with his cousin, this big guy called Motor Ed," Ron added. He turned to Kim, "Any evidence he's with Ed this time?"

"No, but is there any chance I could actually tell you why Global Justice is interested in stopping him now?"

"Some super evil new scheme?" Ron asked.

"Not that they know of. They think they've developed some restraints that will actually hold him."

"Sounds great," Wade told her. "Can I see them? Did they let you bring them with you."

"Well... No," Kim admitted. "Intellectual property, or patent pending, or some other reason I found a little insulting. We warn Global Justice before we leave and Will Du will fly out with it, so we can turn Drakken over to Global Justice."

"Sounds like they've got a lot of faith in you," Shego told Kim.

"She never fails," Ron told her.

"Hey, she's failing my offer for the best sex she's had in her life," Shego argued.

"Will Du?" Ron asked in disbelief, "don't they realize–"

"They seem to think it's better to use someone who'll follow directions blindly rather than using his brain. That's why we're not Global Justice agents," Kim snapped. "And that concludes our meeting."

"No it doesn't," Shego protested. "Am I on the liability policy yet? Am I going with you to stop the blue dude?"

"No," Kim told her. "Meeting adjourned."

"Not so fast," Shego continued. "Motor Ed? Who's this cousin who makes Drakken more dangerous?"

"Meeting is over," Kim reminded her, then realized that giving Shego more information about their work was important. She looked at Wade and Ron, "Do either of you two want to give her some background on Ed?"

"Me! I'll do it!" Wade shouted as Ron called, "Sure!"

Kim looked at the two with disgust, "You can have them both," she told Shego.

"You're the one I want," Shego purred.

"You can't always want what you get," Kim told her.

"I think the line is, 'you can't always get what you want'," Shego corrected her.

"In this case they're both true," Kim pointed out, went into her office, and closed the door.

"Motor Ed is this huge dude," Ron began.

"Bigger than Wade here," Shego asked, pointing at the six foot two African-American.

"Oh yeah," Ron insisted, "and his arms are as big around as your waist - biceps like volley balls."

"So, tough fighter?"

"Not really," Wade explained. "He's strong, but is used to winning fights just on strength. He goes up against someone with skill like Kim – or even Ron–"

"Hey!"

"–and he loses."

"So, what's his thing? Why's he a problem?"

"He's usually not a problem for us," Wade answered. "The police can handle him."

"His thing is speed," Ron continued. "Boats, cars, planes, motorcycles... If it moves he'll steal it, and he wants the best. Modifies things to make them even faster. He can fix up anything and make it run better and faster."

"I'm still not clear on how he makes Drakken more dangerous," Shego confessed. "He soups up Drakken's doohickeys? Drives the getaway car? Hey, is he blue too?"

"Nah, regular skin color," Ron assured her.

"Biggest problem is he tells Drakken not to be so cheap – buy or steal better parts," Wade answered. "Half of Drakken's plans fail 'cause of defective parts. Sometimes Ed will modify one of Drakken's ideas, but mostly he just talks him into using better materials."

Kim opened her office door and barked, "Wade! Walla Walla! Give me the time and I'll call Global Justice."

Ron and Kim left the office a half hour later.

"What am I supposed to do while you're gone?" Shego complained. "I did all your damn filing yesterday."

"I don't care," Kim told her. "Relax. Go to the beach, just stay away from our mission."

In the mid-afternoon Shego hovered cross-legged in the air about nine inches over her desk. Her hands rested, palms upward, on her knees. Her eyes were closed and there was an unusual air of serenity about her, which should not have mislead any viewer to imagine her thoughts were actually peaceful or calm.

Which was the sight which greeted the building manager when he walked in. "WHAT THE!"

Her concentration broken Shego crashed onto the top of her desk. "Oww!"

"You were flying!"

"I was levitating."

"It's the same thing."

"No it's not," Shego snarled, climbing off her desk. "If I throw you out that window you'll be flying. If you stop and just stay still in mid-air you're levitating. Let me throw you out to show you the difference."

Mr. Stephens backed quickly out of the office.

A short while later Kim called into the office. "What's she doing online?" the redhead demanded when an image of Shego appeared in a box on the right side of the screen.

"I, uh, gave her a kimmunicator," Wade explained. "She is on staff."

"She's an intern!"

"I'm working my butt off," Shego complained. "It's nice to have someone smart enough to appreciate that. You don't pay Wade enough."

"I did not call to talk about you," Kim muttered. "I stopped the Bebes. No problem. Ron and Rufus stopped Drakken. No problem. Ron and I captured Drakken. No problem. Will Du arrives, and of course the problems start."

"It's not my fault!" a voice Shego could not identify protested from off-screen.

"Well it's not our fault," Ron insisted. "We captured him. You were supposed to bring the restraints."

"Look, I didn't pack or ship it! The crate was too big for the jet they gave me!"

"Well, someone at Global Justice doesn't know the difference between Walla Walla and Walhalla, South Carolina," Kim told Wade and Shego. "And the crate we need is currently sitting in a UPS facility in Greenville."

"FedEx! And it's not my fault!" the unseen speaker protested again.

"Well what are we supposed to do?" Ron asked. "We were supposed to capture him. We did. You want custody?"

"No... I... Hey, you keep him. I'm having the crate sent from Greenville to Middleton. There's a connecting flight at St. Louis. I'll head east, verify contents, and accompany the restraints to Middleton."

"Uh, we're not in Middleton," Ron pointed out, "we're in Walla Walla."

"Take him to Middleton," Will suggested.

"Why don't you turn him in to the Walla Walla police?" Shego asked.

"Because he'd escape before we could get back to Middleton. But the airline won't let us bring a prisoner wrapped in duct tape on a flight."

"Take the Global Justice jet," Will offered. "I can get a commercial flight to St. Louis."

"Duct tape?" Wade asked.

"Ever tried picking the lock on duct tape?" Ron answered.

Drakken seemed unusually gloomy during the flight on the small, private jet. He alternated between complaining about the quality of the pretzels on board and trying to pump Kim and Ron for information on whatever Global Justice had developed to hold him.

When Kim insisted Global Justice hadn't told her details of the restraints he didn't believe her, but pretended he did and mocked her by saying it showed they didn't trust her. He hoped to make her angry enough to reveal what she knew.

The mocking only served to irritate Kim, but Ron kept her as close to calm as was humanly possible.

They heaved Drakken into the back seat of Ron's car and drove to the office. Shego and Wade came down to carry him into the elevator.

"Who is this vision of enchantment?" Drakken demanded.

Wade looked at Shego, "I hope he means you."

"It's this curse, every guy who sees me lusts after me." She looked over at Kim, "Do you have any idea how it feels for every guy to think you're the sexiest woman who... No, I guess you wouldn't."

Ron leaped to Kim's defense, "I think Kim's sexy!"

"I do too," Shego told him, "but–"

"I don't," Drakken complained. "She's an infernal busybody!"

From the elevator they wrestled him into their suite and dumped him on the couch in the waiting area.

"Okay, who watches him?" Kim asked.

"May I nominate this beauteous creature?" Drakken suggested, staring at Shego.

"No way in hell," Shego told him.

"She's our new intern," Kim told him, "and interns don't watch prisoners."

Shego's concern for recognition out-weighed common sense. "I'm not an intern. I'm a partner."

"Intern!"'

"Partner!"

"Uh, KP?" Ron asked. "Does it really matter what Shego is, I think–"

"Shego, an unusual and exotic name to go with an unusual and exotic beauty."

"The point is," Ron continued, "she could do it. I mean, he's just going to lie there until Global Justice gets here. Really, Rufus could do it."

Rufus stuck his head out of Ron's pocket and shook it, "Nuh-huh!" and went back into the pocket.

Kim looked at Shego, "You want more responsibility? Fine, watch Drakken."

"Does it bring me closer to you recognizing me as a partner?"

"I... It doesn't move you further away."

"C'mon, Princess, you can say it."

"Just watch Drakken."

The blue man coughed gently to gain their attention. "I hate to mention it, but I do feel the need to visit the little villain's room."

"You're just saying that hoping for a chance to escape," Kim responded.

"I, uh, did let him have three Cokes on the ride back," Ron mentioned.

"Ron! How could you?"

"They were free."

"Little villain's room," Drakken reminded them.

"I think he's just trying to escape," Kim insisted.

"Can you take the chance?" the blue man asked.

"No," Wade said.

"Keep his hands taped together," Kim demanded.

"Uh, KP, that's gonna make it kind of hard to... Well, do anything."

"Perhaps the lovely Ms Shego would–"

"No," the genie told him. "No way, no how."

"Ron, it really needs to be you or Wade who... takes care of things," Kim pointed out.

Wade looked at Ron.

Ron looked at Wade.

Nothing was said.

"I and your couch would appreciate it if you could decide soon," Drakken told them.

Wade fished a coin from his pocket, "Heads or tails?"

"Heads," Ron called. "Hey does that mean if heads come up I have to take him or you have to take him?"

"Heads will mean you get your choice. But if you want to take him to the bathroom you can."

"No thanks. I call heads."

It was heads.

"This isn't part of my job description," Wade grumbled as he helped Drakken off the couch.

"It isn't anyone's job description," Kim agreed. "Global Justice screwed up."

Shego suggested, "I say we bill them extra for incidental services."

"Whatever it is, it won't be enough," Wade muttered as he took Drakken to the men's room.

Kim and Ron went to their offices, and Shego returned to her desk.

Ten minutes later Wade and Drakken returned to the suite and Wade left Drakken draped over Shego's desk.

"Hey!"

"Your turn. I went above and beyond the call of duty."

Drakken wiggled slightly to find a more comfortable position and gazed up at Shego. "I'm thinking a cozy little candle-lit Italian restaurant for our first date. Or do you prefer French?"

"Not going to happen."

"I like a woman who's hard to get. It makes the chase so much more fun."

"Stop stealing my lines. I'm impossible for you to get."

"Oh, this will be fun."

"No it won't."

"Yes it will."

"Look, I'm a lesbian."

"Well, Nobody's perfect."

Shego sighed, and rolled Drakken over to the edge of the desk. The blue man, ever the opportunist, noticed a paperclip under his face as he was rolled over and stuck out his tongue. He had good luck and hid the clip between cheek and gum. Shego, stronger than a normal person, easily put him across her shoulder and went into Ron's office and deposited Drakken on his desk. "Your turn, he's annoying."

"He annoys everyone."

"He's hitting on me."

"You hit on Kim, and you annoy everyone."

"She doesn't annoy me," Drakken assured them.

"That's my point," Shego told Ron, "That's my job description. He's a scab, trying to take the bread out of the mouth of an honest genie."

"Genie?"

"Yeah, she's a genie," Ron told him. "Lamp and everything."

"Ooh! I've never made it with a genie."

"Dude, your luck with women in college was so bad you invented robot women just so you could get dates!"

"I'm missing your point."

"While the two of you discuss that," Shego told them, "I am so out of here."

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on Kim's door. "What?" she asked.

"Need a favor, KP," Ron called.

Kim opened the door, and Drakken toppled over into her office, knocking Kim to the floor.

"Ron!"

"Sorry, but I figure he's too afraid of you to cause any trouble."

Unfortunately Drakken had discovered Kim's secret weakness. "The second season of Captain Constellation was probably the strongest. But the third episode of the season was unusually weak. Cesar Romero was too manic as the villain. And there was character inconsistency. It was clearly shown in season one, episode seven, that lieutenant Spandex had a pathological fear of germs, and yet in the Tiny Trouble on Farquar Station episode he..."

Kim held on grimly to her sanity under the blue man's attack, but after eleven minutes of the Captain Constellation barrage a nervous tic began in her left eye. With her remaining strength she dragged the villain to Wade's office. "Tag. You're it."

"No fair! I had to take him to the bathroom!"

"Oh, speaking of that," Drakken mentioned, "I think the last of those Cokes is now wanting to join its brothers."

"Well I'm not taking you again," Wade said firmly. He and Kim looked at each other and spoke one word together, "Ron."

Kim's lock picking skills were not up to Drakken's, but Ron's solitaire game was interrupted by Drakken falling into his office.

"He needs to be taken down the hall again."

"Wade–"

"I did my share. And you were the guy who let him have three Cokes on the plane."

Ron called into the suite, "I don't suppose anyone would care to help?"

A chorus of 'No's answered his call.

"You could always cut the tape," Drakken suggested helpfully.

"Not gonna happen, Dude," Ron muttered and dragged Drakken down the hall.

On his return from the unpleasant task Ron deposited Drakken with Shego.

Shego left Drakken with Wade.

Wade returned Drakken to Kim.

Drakken was still in Kim's office when an outraged Mr. Stephens stormed in. "The morticians report two men in a bathroom stall! Together! Committing unthinkable acts!"

"I thought you were into unthinkable acts," Shego told him calmly.

"It was Mr. Stoppable! I–"

Ron appeared at his office door. "Hey, no unspeakable acts. I was helping this guy go to the bathroom."

"What guy? And why did he need help?"

Drakken hearing the commotion took advantage of the confusion. "Help! Police! I'm being held hostage!"

"Who is that?" Mr. Stephens demanded.

"Global Justice prisoner," Ron explained.

Kim came to her office door, "We're holding him until Global Justice gets here... Wade!"

"Yes?"

"The ETA on Will Du?"

"He claims he'll be here in an hour ten."

"See," Kim told the building manager. "In an hour and a quarter he'll be gone."

"This building is not zoned as a prison. This is a commercial establishment and–"

"Call the police!" Drakken shrieked, "A violation of my Fourth Amendment rights! This is cruel and unusual–"

"Eighth Amendment is cruel and unusual punishment," Wade corrected him. "Fourth is–"

"Call the police," Drakken shrieked, "A violation of my Eighth Amendment rights!"

"This is only temporary," Kim apologized. "Global Justice will be here soon."

Mr. Stephens retreated from their suite.

Twenty minutes later Officer Hobble and a patrolman they didn't recognize arrived.

"Arrest these people for kidnapping," Drakken shouted.

"What's up, Kim?" Hobble asked.

"Ron and I captured Drakken this morning. Global Justice was supposed to take custody, but they're running late. An agent should be here in less than an hour."

"Well, send the agent down to the police station. We'll take him off your hands."

"But–"

"Sorry, Kim. You folk may be auxiliary members of the Middleton Police Force, but you don't have the right to detain a prisoner in your office."

Ron began, "Is there any way to–"

"No," the second officer told him. He took the duct tape off Drakken and put him in handcuffs.

"Take him to the patrol car while I take their statements," Hobble told the second man as he gestured at the occupants of the suite. "And watch him! This guy's tricky." As the second officer and Drakken left, Hobble winked at the four, "Take enough time getting your statements here and I shouldn't have to type it up at the station – at least if your GJ agent gets here as fast as you say."

Ron sighed. Kim and Wade appeared Stoic. And Shego simply looked annoyed as Hobble asked questions. Finally Hobble told them, "Well, that should do it. I'll take him down to the station now."

Four minutes later Hobble stood in the parking lot, using his walkie-talkie to communicate with headquarters. "Well, when he gets there ask the damn idiot why he left without me and tell him to haul ass back here for me. I'll be waiting at Kim's place."

And eleven minutes after that a U Haul van pulled up in front of the building and Will Du pulled out his cell phone, "Could I get a little help carrying this up? Or would you rather bring him down here?" ... "What do you mean, he's gone." ... "The Middleton Police? Why?" ... "Okay, I'll find a legal parking spot and come up."

Kim and company were happy to let Officer Hobble and Agent Du argue about who was the bigger idiot.

The pair were still going at it when the florist arrived. "Roses for a Ms Shego."

"That's me." She looked at Kim, "Very thoughtful of you."

"It wasn't me!"

"Read the card," Ron suggested.

"It says, 'French or Italian – you never told me where we should go on our first date. Would you prefer a concert? I fear we didn't have time to discuss our mutual tastes in music. Over dinner perhaps? Oh, please tell the Middleton Police their patrol car is parked behind the bakery at tenth and Mill. The officer is in the trunk."

Hobble left to alert headquarters.

"You've certainly made a mess of this," Du said in an accusing tone.

Shego taught him the difference between flying and levitating.