Sorry I took so long to update. I have many, many excuses.
But I'm sure you don't want to hear about them.
In this one, the story shifts its attention a little bit and gets off topic a smidge.
The next chapter will be the end!
After retrieving their clothes, or, most of them at least (Deidara stole Itachi's belly shirt and mesh for he could not find his own), Deidara and Pein rushed out of Itachi's room and into the living room, Pein shielding his eyes almost immidiately and Deidara looking on with great intrest.
Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan lay together, all three of them naked, Itachi inbetween the zombie twins.
"DAMMIT! FUCK!" Kisame roared, tugging at his blue, spiky hair. He exhailed deeply, running a hand over his face. "Why does this keep happening? Am I not good enough for you, Itachi-San?" The shark nin muttered to himself, only then realizing that Pein and Deidara were standing next to him. His beady eyes flickered to the two, scanning them over. "'The fuck do you two want?"
Deidara stepped forward (Because Pein pushed him) and looked deeply into the shark man's eyes, deep within his emotions. The blonde gasped, seeing Kisame's face contort into a saddened scowl. "Wow Kisame no Danna... You're a pussy."
The shark nin twitched a bit.
A crack suddenly erupted, one that eerily reminded Pein of breaking bone.
Deidara slumped down to the floor, a trickle of blood running down his chin. "Fuck..." He muttered just before screaming out in pain.
"Er... H-He didn't mean that... I think..." Pein studdered, looking up at the seething shark man. "That wasn't very nic-"
"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT NICE!" Kisame roared, picking up Pein by his shirt collar. The blue man scowled, showing his pointed teeth. "I should seriously-"
"Fuuuuck... Will you all just shut the fuck up?!" Hidan grumbled, slowly opening his eyes. A few seconds of silence when by as he looked at the two men before him, before he realized what position he was in. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" He exclaimed, jumping up and covering himself with a random near by cloak. "What. The... Fucking... Hell... Happened?!" The zealot shrieked, watching Kakuzu stir at his yowl.
"Hidan... Shut up... I'm trying to sleep..." The money miser muttered, moving his hand down to Itachi's lower area unconciously. "Mmm..." Kakuzu muttered, stroking Itachi. Itachi's face was unreadable for a moment, but settled into a look of pleasure.
Distracted, Kisame dropped Pein and watched Kakuzu jealously. 'That should be me!' The shark man thought with envy.
Hidan turned his gaze away from the stitched nin spitefully. He clutched his head, as it was in throbbing pain. "What the fuck happened last night...?" He asked no one in particular as he slumped down on the couch, the cloak draped over the silver haired man's private area.
Another yowl erupted from Deidara, earning him a very profane word from Hidan.
As if profanity was the magic word, Itachi started to stir. His blood shot Sharingan eyes took one look at the sleeping Kakuzu next to him and where his stitched hand was, and the Uchiha almost screamed. Almost. Glaring at Kisame and Pein, the raven haired man sat up much like a vampire would, except his arms were folded over his chest in aggrivation instead of the traditional blood sucker position. "Kisame... How did I get here..." The man demanded, his red eyes swirling.
"Same fucking way I did, probably. That cock-sucking, mother fucking bastard next to you fucking drugged us and then attempted rape or something!" Hidan exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the ex-Takigakure nin.
"I... Doubt that's how it happened... But I don't quite know myself..." Kisame said, adverting his gaze.
Pein took this opportunity to help Deidara up, now barely concious. "Erm, a little help here, guys?"
"That fucking panzy can deal with the fucking pain. Shiiit..." The zealot muttered, his head throbbing yet again. "Dammit, somebody wake up that money grubbing dickweed and tell him to make my fucking head better!"
"That's why they have asprin, Hidan." Itachi mused.
Hidan growled. "Fucking... Gay-ass... Fucking weasel..." He muttered.
"Well then, if you're going to be like that without your meds, you might as well wake him..." Kisame said quietly.
"FINE! I fucking will!" Hidan roared, standing up- the cloak over his legs sliding off in the process- and walking over to the old nin. The zealot gave the man a swift kick in the rear, causing Kakuzu to groan in dull pain. "Wake up you old fucker and get me some asprin, dammit!"
Kakuzu scoffed while shuddering due to having nary a piece of clothing on. "Haven't you ever heard of letting sleeping dogs lie? And," he yawned, "can't you get it yourself?"
"Psh, fuck no! I fucking skin dogs alive and use their flesh and blood for writing shit! And it's your fault my fucking head hurts so much! Get your ass up, now!"
Grumbling to himself and scratching his wild mass of hair, the stitched nin slowly stood up and caught the glares and stares of the four other people in the room. "... What?" He growled.
Deidara looked away and blushed before Pein helped him to the medic ward, not wanting to stay any longer. Kisame shaded his eyes and Itachi just 'hn'ed at his partner's reaction.
Kakuzu cocked a brow. "What? What's wrong with you people? Is there something on my face?"
Hidan looked away, a bit of blood starting to trickle out of his nose. "Kakuzu... Just go get me my fucking asprin..."
"Hm. Fine." The ex-Takigakure nin muttered, snatching his cloak up from the ground and heading off toward the medicine closet.
"Hidan, your nose is bleeding." Itachi mused.
"W-What? No it's not!" The saint protested, quickly wiping his nose. "Er... Fuck... Anyway... What the hell happened last night that could have slipped past my fucking awesome memory?"
"You have about as good of a memory as cement does."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"Guys, guys, please, settle down," Kisame pleaded, placing a finger to his lips. "Zetsu's still sleeping, remember?"
"FUCK THAT STUPID PLANT!" Hidan growled, "He's probably fucking hungover, so he won't hear any of this shit! And I STILL wanna know what happened last night..." He muttered.
"Can you put some clothes on first...?" Itachi mumbled.
"Fuck you, stupid weasel-" The zealot started, then suddenly shivered. He was cold. "Go put some fucking clothes on... Fucking...Fucking grr..." He grumbled to himself, storming off to his room.
"Um, Itachi-San, you should probably put some clothes on as well..." Kisame muttered as Itachi stood up, the shark man still a bit mad at Itachi for earlier.
"Right. Come, Kisame." Itachi ordered as he headed off towards their room, the shark nin falling into step behind the Uchiha.
Things I wanna point out/say:
Can you guess why they were all gaping at Kakuzu? :3
Hidan's favorite word is fuck, obviously.
Medicine closet: I'd think that they'd need something bigger than a cabinet to hold all the medicines and ibuprofen and other random medical shit they use everyday. (I.E. Bandages, Kakuzu's Heart Medicine, Asprin for Hidan, Itachi's Anti-Depression Pills(They've really worked wonders, too), Konan's PMS pills, Kakuzu and Kisame's Viagra, etc.)
Fucking Weasel: Need I say more?
