Chapter 4! Hehe I hope everyone likes Grimmjow's little vacation! Today it's Szayel's turn to have a crack filled little story.
Szayel Grantz- The potion
Once upon a time, there was a mad scientist by the name of Szayel Grantz. He worked for the psychopathic god named Aizen and he was the eighth person at his hand.
One day Szayel decided to try out a new experiment. So, he took a bunch of his random potions and put them together. He put in one green one, blue one, and yellow one.
Somehow the potion that resulted was white and Szayel deduced that it was safe to eat. After all poisonous+ poisonous+ poisonous= not poisonous. I don't know where he got this logic but hey, he's the scientist.
When it was done he decided to test it on two people, himself and Nnoitra. Nnoitra because he hated the bastard, and himself because he's just that special.
So he carefully snuck into the kitchen and into Nnoitra's cup he put in a tiny but of white potion. He also put some into his own cup and then he snuck out back to his lab quietly.
When Aizen finally announced it was time for the meeting he was very excited. After all, he still didn't know the effects of the potion. Maybe, just maybe if he had read the labels on the potions he would have figured it out.
The green potion's name was TRU, the blue ones was ELO, and the yellow ones was VE. Now let's see, TRU+ ELO+VE= well, I will leave that for you to figure out.
As Aizen babbled on about whatever gods like to babble on about Szayel to a sip of his tea and watched Nnoitra to the same.
The effect was horrendous, the instant the potion was swallowed by Nnoitra he looked at Szayel and screamed, "TRUE LOVE!" Szayel spit the potion out in shock, thus not becoming affected by the potion.
Aizen watched in surprise as Nnoitra jumped up from his seat and made a very gay looking dive at Szayel, who looked like he had just crapped his pants.
Thinking fast Szayel jumped out of the way and booked it out of the room. Nnoitra ran after him while screaming 'I love you' at the top of his lungs. Szayel turned down another hallway and nearly had a heart attack when Nnoitra jumped over him and then stood in front of him.
Then Nnoitra grabbed Szayel and gave him a rough kiss on the lips. Szayel on the other hand just had a little part of him die, poor poor non gay Szayel.
Then Nnoitra gave Szayel a big hug and then said, "Wanna go make love yet?" Szayel chuckled nervously and then said, "Nnoitra, snap out of this! It's the affect of the potion, you are not in love with me and I hate you."
Nnoitra's face dropped and then like a little eight year old girl he stood still, looked up and began scream crying.
Crying is just tears going from your eyes, and screaming is just random noise coming from your mouth but scream crying is when tears shoot out of your mouth at the person standing in front of you.
Wait, that can't be right. Stupid Wikipedia, never trust what it says on there... Anyway, Nnoitra began crying loudly in front of Szayel, who just began to back away slowly.
One Week Later...
It had been a week since that very awkward incident, and no one spoke of it again. Also, the effects of the potion of Nnoitra seemed to wear off, which was a good thing.
However, the only thing that had not come back to normal was that someone kept creeping into Szayel's lab and messing things up. Well, by messing thing up I mean that someone ran in there and drew giant pink hearts all over the place. Creepy.
At first Szayel thought it was Nnoitra, but that could not be possible considering that when Nnoitra's blood was checked there was no trace of the potion.
Now Szayel had no idea who in the world it could be, but he didn't really mind as long as the person doing this was a girl. I don't care if in almost every other Szayel story I have read he is gay, in this one he is straight and a guy.
Anyway, once again at was evening and it was time for Szayel to go to sleep. However, today he had a trap set out for his heart drawer.
In the middle of the night...
Boooooom "Ahhhhhhhhh WHAT THE HELL!" Szayel jumped out of his bed quickly, the undeniable screaming had to be from his target.
Running over to his lab as quickly as possible Szayel was quite horrified to see Grimmjow hanging upside-down from the trap and swearing loudly. "You? You're the one who's been drawing on my walls?"
Szayel said in disgust. Grimmjow frowned and then said, "Hell no, I was asleep and then I got here, what the hell did you do to me?" Szayel scoffed and then said, "I did nothing you stupid sleep walker."
Then Szayel released Grimmjow from the trap and he left without a word. Sighing loudly Szayel made his way back to his room to sleep.
The next morning Szayel was grumpy so he decided not to open his eyes and lay in bed. This seems like a good idea for anyone who wakes up grumpy, but not today.
If Szayel had opened his eyes he would have seen the eye patched, tall, black haired person sitting on his bed watching him.
Finally, Szayel sighed and opened his eyes to look around his room but then his poor eyes nearly popped out of his eyes when he saw a eye patched, long black haired, tall, spoony, female in front of him. Yes, read that over, female.
She looked just like Nnoitra but her smile was not as creepy and she had, well girl parts. Szayel rubbed his eyes in disbelief and he heard her giggle happily.
When he finally realized she was definitely real Szayel said, "Who are you?" She gave him a wide smile and then said, "I'm Nnoitrete, Nnoitra's girl half." Szayel furrowed his brows and then said, "Girl part? What?"
She laughed some more and then said, "How can you not know? You're silly! The potion you gave Nnoitra made him split into two, me and him. Well, actually the potion you intended to make was going to make Nnoitra fall in love with you, but what you didn't know was that Gin put come crack into Nnoitra's cup and I guess they reacted and made me."
Szayel looked a bit confused for a second and then he said, "So... you're the one who drew hearts all over my lab?" She nodded happily and then jumped off the bed.
After that Szayel and Nnoitrete spent the entire day together and got to know each other pretty well. Maybe sneaking the potion into Nnoitra's tea had been a good idea after all, Szayel really liked Nnoitrete.
That night all was quiet, deathly quiet in fact. So quiet you could hear your own heartbeat. So quiet that if a speck of dust fell it would make a horrible thundering noise.
So quiet- well actually I think you get the point. In this silence a dark figure snuck around with a thong. Yes, a thong. It made its way to Szayel's bed and slowly got the bed covers off him.
Then the figure made an evil smirk that could be seen clearly in the darkness. After making sure Szayel was definitely asleep the figure, also known as Nnoitrete, gently put the thong on Szayel's face and then left.
The next morning Szayel woke up, happy to go see Nnoitrete, but then horrified when he saw a thong on his face. It was a dirty one too, and Szayel let out a blood curdling, horrified, completely shocked, long, very very loud scream.
It was so loud that it woke up Aizen, who wasn't very happy about that. Around the same time Nnoitra got up and went to the bathroom. When he was about to throw his shirt into the laundry hamper he was shocked to see his thong was gone.
But how? He swore he had put it in there the day before, and it was his favourite thong too. Nnoitra let out an unhappy sigh, now what was he supposed to wear, underwear?
Nnoitrete walked around the real world happily, after her evil thong deed she had snuck into Szayel's lab to open the black crack thingy to earth. Now nothing could stop her from reeking havoc on earth.
Muwahahaaha, beware mortals; there is an evil Nnoitra look alike on the loose. If seen do not approach, but back away slowly and call the police! Actually, screw that just scream bloody murder and run.
