*Chapter Three: Afternoon with Konoha*

"Kakashi… What size bra do you think Tsunade wears?" Jiraya asked.

"Hnnnn…?" Kakashi muttered, not paying attention.

"Kakashi, look up from that book and pay attention to me!"

"Wha-"

Kakashi was cut off because at that moment, a duck dressed like Pakkun flew down from the sky, "Here, boss. Here's an umm… message. It's from errr… Kakashi! " It flew off withut giving Kakashi the scroll from Kakashi. Instead, it dropped the scroll a few yards away, ignoring Kakashi's questioning glance.

"Kakashi, I think you got a message from you." Jiraya said nonchalantly.

"That was a duck," Kakashi thought out loud.

"What does the message say?"

Kakashi opened the scroll. "I have no idea. It's written in some scribbly handwriting in purple crayon and signed in all caps with something that looks like it might say 'TQDI'."

"Let me see." The gray-haired nin handed him the rolled-up piece of paper passed off as a scroll.

"It says, 'Can Tobi has a pony? If you have pony to give to Tobi, meet Tobi at the Tenchi bridge.'"

"Hmmmmm…"

"So, what size?"

"56 Z," Kakashi said not really caring. He was too engulfed in finding the secret meaning in the, Kakashi decided, encrypted message.

After a while, Jiraya continued rambling about meaningless things while Kakashi gave answer that wouldn't even make sense in the most random baby's dream. He had better things to do. The masked ninja swiftly jumped on the rooftops. Jiraya did not seem at all to notice. He just kept on talking about meaningless and perverted matters.

-The Jashin Tavern-

The restaurant was a dreary place, as it was meant to be. The walls were painted black, and the only light was a fire in the middle of the room. The fire, for your information, was a place to roast live children as a sacrifice to the great Lord Jashin-sama. The fee for one unreserved table was your first born son. If the message still had not gotten across yet, if you do this a second time, we will take your dog, cat, other children, or even your wife. Noted by Konoha scared critiques as one of the best places in town!

Sakura walked to the table she had reserved (thank god!) with a person she had met on . She was so excited to meet this wonderful guy. If his description matched him, he had to be one of the most beautiful people in the world. He was smart, funny, and (hopefully) handsome.

"Hey!" a shrill voice came from the table she was supposed to be sitting at with her dream guy.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked.

"I am meeting my date here, so… Scat. Don'The even think of moching off of me just because you don'The have a reservation."

"I do. With the date I met on eHarmony."

The person's eyes widened, "Oh my Jashin! Those mother- *$%*%!"

"Are you…. My… date…?" Sakura twitched.

"I hate those **** eHarmony people! Well, anyway, I'm Karin, and, as of right now, I have an anti-eHarmony group; would you like to join?" Karin said.

"Sure! I was kinda hoping this would happen…" Karin gave Sakura a questioning look.

"Errr… Well, there's this missing nin I have a huge crush on… His name is Sasuke." She blushed

"No way! Me too. I actually work with him. Let's turn our anti-eHarmony group into a Sasuke fanclub!"

"OMG! Totally!"

-Ten Minutes Later-

"Okay. We have Sasuke The-shirts, plushies, buttons, jewelry, party plates and napkins, Sasuke cups, AND Sasuke paper mache masks!" Karin squealed. Sakura joined in the spuealing, and they squealed like that for another twenty minutes.

"OMG. OMG. OMG. This is great." Sakura screeched. She sounded like a dying… Sakura.

They went and sold every bit of their Sasuke merchandise. They came back to base with over $1,000,000 dollars and 5,000,000 members. Every one of the 5,000,000 members were screeching their hearts out and having panic attacks when going by the Sasuke posters and cardboard cutouts. It was a true, absolute nightmare.

-Ichiraku Ramen Shop-

"I wonder where Naruto is." Ayame thought aloud.

"He probably had a sleepover at his friend's house. Kids these days stay up all night and go to sleep at 8:00. Again, it is quite nice to see that child with friends who love him," Teuchi responded.

"I guess, but I miss little Naruto."

Ichiraku was silent except from the occasional slurp of noodles and the meow of a cat outside. It sure did seem lonely without the Jinchuriki to liven thing up with his, loud, eager voice. The place could have gotten even drearier, but then a hoard of girls came in squealing and yelling.

"Hello," a pink-haired kunoichi said brightly.

"We were wondering if you would let us sell our merchandise in your shop!" another chimed.

"So, can we? We'll pay!" the first inquired.

"Um, yeah. Sure." Teuchi answered and sweatdropped.

*A/N*

Thank you so much, psychoticmemory for your review! Like any other author, reviews keep me going.

I'm so happy you got the Veronica referance. I know the first chapter was terrible, it was our first story. It was just supposed to be an introduction, and it is hard to write with two authors. Thank you again. I hope this chapter is better!