MC: Hello again. Here's chapter 3, all spiffy and edited thanks to Felix Felicis. I'm posting it now in honor of the start of finals week, a time of stress, worry, study, and no writing. Once finals are over however, I'll be able to continue writing because I have a whole lotta fairytales to tell. So have fun and please enjoy the chapter.

DISCLAIMER: Link and Zelda are the sole intellectual propriety of Nintendo. No money has been made off of this story, and any/all Legend of Zelda characters mentioned herein rightfully belong to Nintendo. The story of "Mido and the Deku Brothers Three" is based off of the European folktale "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" and belongs to the world. Piper is a fictional character that has been lurking in the depths of my brain for some time and probably should never have left it. This author is making no money off of this story and is in vast debt due to school, so any attempts at prosecution due to use of characters will result in lots of frustration and no money.

Once Upon a Time

Chapter 3: Mido and the Deku Brothers Three

"Daddy, do you know any stories from your childhood?" Piper asked as Link tucked her into bed. "I mean ones that I haven't heard before. Ones that aren't in any books."

"Well, I don't know if this isn't in any books, but I'll tell you my favorite tale when I was little," Link said. "Will that do?"

"Have I heard it before?"

"Not from me."

"Yes," Piper said, nodding vigorously.

"As you know, I was an orphan and so that meant I grew up in the Kokiri Forest. And as a boy I was take care of by the 'children of the forest' or Kokiri, which are kids that never grow up, but live as long as the trees. And as an orphan I had no last name because I had no family, so I took the forest's name for my own."

"I know all that," Piper said impatiently. "Get to the story!"

"I'm getting there," Link said in mock anger. "You asked for a non book story and so I have to set up the context I first learned the story. Believe me you'll want to know this when you tell your kids where you learned the story from."

"I'm not having kids."

"You're not?" Link said. "Well that might be a little bit of a problem. Who will be your heir when you're queen?"

"I'll make Hyrule a democracy upon my death," Piper said, nodding sagely.

"But see, we tried that already," Link said. "After the fall of Queen Lillian the fair, her son, her only child, took the throne and he botched the job so badly that there was a revolt and the country switched to a democracy for two hundred years. This might have worked, except we kept having male leaders that kept the ruling curse going—"

"What's the ruling curse?" Piper said. "Do I have to worry about the ruling curse?"

"Are you a boy?"

"No."

"Then probably not," Link said. "Since King Dalphious first united the country through war and the first hero, the Hero of Time, rose, kings have been bad luck for Hyrule. All of our wars, plagues, revolts, and Gannondorf revivals have occurred when there has been a king on the throne. That's why Queen Zelda the third, using her divine foresight, instated the rule that daughters inherited the throne first."

"That isn't fair. That means that if I were a boy my little sister would get to rule instead."

"It isn't fair, Pipes," Link agreed. "But it's much better than having you take the throne if you were a boy and then getting killed within the first twelve years of your rule, or have to deal with a war, or plague. The worst would be having to deal with Ganondorf. He's a real monster."

Piper shivered. "Daddy, I don't want to talk about Ganondorf. He scares me."

"He scares me too," Link said. He rubbed his hands together. "Back to the story. The point of all this history is that I learned this story from the Koiri who were around when it happened. This story took place a long long time ago when the Hero of Time was still a little boy."

"Is that long enough ago to need a once upon a time beginning, Daddy?"

"Yes I do believe it is," Link said, smiling. "This story is called Mido and the Deku Brothers Three."

"Who's Mido?"

"Once upon a time there lived a boy in the Kokiri woods and he was not a hero. He was a Kokiri named Mido and his most favorite activity in the whole entire world was bossing people around."

"Like Mommy?"

"No, not at all like Mommy. Mommy bosses people around because she has to because it's part of her job. People look for her to tell them what to do. Mido always told people what to do even when his opinion wasn't wanted, which was almost all the time. When people didn't do what he said he teased and bullied them. Mido was the reason the Hero of Time was such a shy and scared little boy."

"But he still grew up to do courageous things despite all the mean things Mido did!"

"Some might argue that the Hero of Time did more courageous things as a little boy," Link said. "It's much harder to face down a giant monster when you know you are little and weak and never do anything right then when you're all grown up and have experience on your side."

"Mido wasn't courageous."

"You're right, he was a coward, but he liked to boast of being brave and strong. One year at the annual Festival of the Forest the Kokiri were picking parts for the annual play. As usual, Saria, the smartest and most beautiful of the Kokiri would be the princess, but the prince varied from year to year."

"You mean the Hero wasn't always the prince?"

"No he was only the prince once, the year before he left. Remember, since he was Hylain like us, elves, and not a true Kokiri, or forest sprit, he grew and aged. There would only have been a few years he was old enough to actually be the prince."

"So was that the year he was prince?"

"No, that's another story. But, like that year Mido was not picked to be the prince. As usual, when Mido didn't get his way, he threw a fit. He announced to the whole group that he was being treated unfairly and would not participate in this year's festival. Then in a rage he stormed off into the Lost Woods."

"So he ruined it for everyone."

"Yup. Mido wandered around for hours in the Lost Woods."

"Wait, isn't he Kokiri? So how could he get lost in the Lost Woods? It's his forest."

"Mido shouldn't have gotten lost. However, he was so furious that he went so deep into the woods that the music that guides the Kokiri could no longer reach him. He wandered around for hours and soon became cold and hungry and miserable. All he wanted to do was go home. He was even willing to apologize to the others."

"Which he should do anyway," Piper said.

"Clearly Mido didn't have your understanding of right and wrong," Link said. "Soon he found himself in the southlands of the forest, the swampy area of the woods. He walked through thigh high mud and was even chased by a giant frog."

"What kind of frog?" Piper asked. "Was it spotted?"

"It had bright orange spots on its dark blue back," Link said. "And a long purple tongue that was as thick as your arm. Once it managed to wrap its tongue around Mido's ankle, but he managed to escape before being swallowed whole. He spent the whole night running from the frog."

"I wish the frog had eaten him," Piper said. "Poor froggy went hungry."

"Poor froggy had just eaten a cow," Link said. "He only wanted to eat Mido because Kokiri is such a rare delicacy. Really if he had eaten Mido the poor frog would have gorged himself and been sick.

"Poor frog."

"Shortly after dawn Mido finally escaped the frog and stumbled into a solid valley. It was just a tiny little valley, just barely big enough to hold a squat house. Still, if it was a house it must have food inside. So Mido went up to the small front door and walked right in without bothering to knock."

"Isn't that breaking an entering?" Piper asked.

"Illegal trespass," Link said, silently reminding himself to censor Piper's viewing habits. "As soon as he went inside he caught sight of a table and on the table there were three bowls of porridge. Mido sat down at the first bowl and scooped a spoonful into his mouth. It was so hot that Mido spat it all out on the table. He coughed and hacked because he had burned the top of his mouth so badly."

"He should have blown on it first."

"Yes he should have. After Mido had recovered from his first taste he tried the second bowl because he was still starving. This time he blew on his spoonful then popped it in her mouth. He spat it out instantly because this time it was icey cold."

"How come one was really hot and the other cold?" Piper asked. "Shouldn't they all be the same warmness?"

"Apparently someone had poured Lon Lon milk on the second bowl because it was much soupier than the last one. Since Lon Lon milk is always kept nice and cold, that could freeze up the porridge."

"So what did Mido do? Did he pour the second bowl into the first?" Piper asked.

"That would have been a smart move," Link said, laughing because it was such a brilliant idea. "But instead Mido tasted the third bowl. This one was just the perfect temperature so he gobbled it all down. Now that he had eaten he was ready to dry off and relax. So he stripped down to his underwear, leaving his clothes on the table and dropped into a big comfy looking chair. He sat in it for a moment, then realized that it was a really hard chair that he couldn't stay seated in. He moved on to the second chair and nearly drowned in all the cushions."

"I've sat in chairs like those," Piper said. "They're fun to deep sea dive in, but I'm not supposed to do that."

"Yes, a lot of the older court ladies own similar chairs," Link said. "After Mido resurfaced from the chair he decided to try the last chair. This one was a rocking chair and it fit Mido perfectly. He rocked and rocked so fast and quickly that he turned the chair upside down, smashing the chair."

"Did he smash his head too?"

"Surprisingly no," Link said. "By this point Mido was really tired, so he went to the back of the house looking for a bed. He found the bedroom with three beds in it."

"Was the first one too hard, the second too soft, and the third just right?" Piper asked eagerly.

"You just took the words right out of my mouth," Link said. He looked at her suspiciously. "Have you heard this story before?"

"No Daddy," Piper giggled. "That's just what I thought would happen next."

"You were right. I think you got your mom's smarts. After Mido got into that third bed he fell promptly asleep," Link said. "Some time later the front door opened and three Deku Scrubs shuffled in. They were three brothers who lived together. That morning they had left for their usual dawn meditation after setting out their breakfast to cool."

"I bet they were shocked at what they found."

"They were. Especially finding all that green clothing on the table. After wondering about the clothes for a little while the Eldest Deku Brother noticed his spoon in his porridge and little specks of the stuff around his placemat. He said, 'Somebody's been eating my porridge,' while looking around."

"That was Mido."

"Yes it was, but they didn't know that. Then the Middle Deku brother noticed his bowl was in a similar state. He said, 'Somebody's been eating my porridge too.' That was when the Youngest Deku Brother noticed his bowl. He said, 'Soebody's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up.' He dropped his bowl into the sink because Deku Scrubs can be surprisingly tidy creatures."

"Mido should have cleaned up his mess," Piper said disapprovingly. "Mommy always makes me clean up mine."

"Mommy makes me clean up mine too," Link said. "Then they went into the living room. The Eldest Deku Brother saw that Mido had left scratches in his chair and said, 'Somebody's been sitting in my chair.' The Middle Deku Brother saw some of his pillows on the floor and said, 'Somebody's been sitting in my chair.' Then the Youngest Deku brother saw his chair smashed to bits and said, 'Somebody's been sitting in my chair and they broke it.'"

"Did he cry? I would have cried," Piper said.

"He began to sob and the Middle Deku Brother comforted him," Link said. "Now they were really angry and they stormed into the bedroom. The Eldest Deku Brother saw that his sheets were now a balled up mess and he said—"

"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!" Piper shouted eagerly, getting into the rhythm of the fairytale.

"Then the Middle Deku Brother saw all his pillows once again strewn all over the place and he said…"

"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

"Then the Youngest Deku Scrub said his bed and said…"

"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

"And he's still there!" Link finished, matching Piper's volume.

His daughter giggled and bounced eagerly at this turn of events. She even clapped her hands a few times. Link waited until she had calmed down some before continuing.

"All this yelling woke Mido up," Link said. "He stared wide eyed at the three angry Deku Scrubs bearing down on him. With a scream Mido hopped out of bed and ran for the door. All three Deku Brothers were so angry they began spitting exploding deku nuts at him from their mouths."

"I thought those were their noses," Piper said.

"They might actually be noses," Link said thoughtfully. "I don't know much about the physiology of Deku Scrubs. Deku Scrubs are a plant-animal species. They have mouth like openings on their faces that they can spit out various objects, but these openings can't shut and they derive all their sustenance, food, from photosynthesis. So you tell me if it's a nose or a mouth."

"Photosynthesis? What's that?" Piper asked.

"It's a chemical process that turns sunlight into sugar inside of leaves," Link said. "I bet that's also in your biology book. Do you want me to read to you about photosynthesis tomorrow night, Pipes?"

Piper shook her head. "Finish the story," she said, clearly certain from Link's tone that he was nearly done.

"Alright kiddo, I'll do as you wish," Link said. "So Mido was being pummeled by deku nuts. They were practically rained down on him and deku nuts hurt when they hit you, especially if they explode and especially if you aren't wearing anything on your back. Mido grabbed his clothing off the kitchen table and ran out of the house. The Deku Brothers weren't ready to give up the hunt. They chased him across hill and swamp all the way to the end of the southlands."

"Why did they stop there?"

"I guess they ran out of energy when they hit the higher harder ground," Link said. "After all, Mido had eaten all of their breakfasts. Besides, the southlands' trees are too whimpy to hold a boy Mido's size up in the air, so I bet that when he finally reached the regular Lost Woods Mido climbed a tree. Deku Scrubs can't climb and since they're partly wood, their necks can't bend up very well, so they couldn't keep shooting at Mido."

"That was smart of Mido," Piper said. "I didn't realize he was that smart."

"I think he climbed more out of fear than anything else," Link said, smiling. "When the Deku Brothers finally left Mido in his tree, the Kokiri slide down the tree and hobbled back into the Lost Woods. Eventually he reached the music again and was able to find his way back into the familiar part of the Lost Woods."

"There's a familiar part to the Lost Woods?"

"Yes there is," Link said. "I remember learning a few parts of the Woods myself when I was a kid. I never got very far, but the Kokiri know vast portions of it. His friends, Saria and the Hero of Time, found him and they carried their badly bruised friend back home and put him to bed because even if Mido was a braggart and a bully, he was a Kokiri and that made him family."

"And you always take care of your family," Piper said.

"And your friends," Link finished. He kissed his daughter on the forehead and retucked her into bed. "That was the story of Mido and the Deku Brothers Three. Now go to sleep, Pipes, and have sweet dreams."

"But I'm still not sleepy," Piper whined.

"Then you can think up ways you would escape the Deku Brothers until you fall asleep," Link said, flipping on her nightlight. "Good night sweetheart."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Piper."

After Link shut the door he strolled down the various halls, almost got lost at the suit of Goronic armor by the third staircase because the light was burned out then walked into Zelda's bedroom. Technically it was their bedroom, since Link slept there too every night and most of his clothing was in the auxiliary closet, but even after five years of marriage (and a period of time Link was supposed to deny the existence of) and sleeping in that bed, Link still thought of it as Zelda's room. He still had a small apartment in the knight's wing of the castle he used for cartography and all of his other hobbies.

He stripped down to his underwear and crawled into bed. After snuggling under the covers Zelda's arm wrapped itself around his neck.

"Hey," she said, stacking up a pile of papers and setting them on the nightstand. "How did the reading go? By the time I got all my papers sorted you were already at the part with the Deku Brothers chasing Mido, so I thought it prudent to get ready for bed."

"You still could have stopped in and said hello," Link mumbled into her side. "Piper would have been delighted."

"Piper enjoys story time with Daddy," Zelda said. "The last time I tried reading her a bedtime story she complained the entire time that I didn't use voices like Daddy and that I didn't have all sorts of answers like Daddy."

"And she's complained in the past that I can't read stories like Mommy," Link said, grinning. "I think she's playing us, Princess."

"It's Queenie now," Zelda said.

"You'll always be my princess, Luv," Link said. They kissed. "By the way, was thinking we could all go to this year's Festival of Kokiri Forest."

"That's only two months away, Link," Zelda sighed. "I doubt I'll be able to find the time."

"Please," Link whined, wrapping his arms around his wife. "It's only one afternoon. You're the one always saying these are Piper's formative years. I want her to have some memories of the three of us together where we're actually wearing clothing we can move in."

"You can move in your formal dress," Zelda said, "but I have to admit they aren't as comfortable as a pair of shorts. I'll try my best, Link."

"That's all I can ask," Link said, smiling. "Your best is better than perfect."

"Now who's kidding?"

"You babe, for deluding yourself into thinking you're anything less than perfect."

"Good night, Link," Zelda said, unable the stop smiling. Somehow he always put a smile on her face and she never could get rid of it.

"Night Princess."

Link fell asleep first, holding onto his wife tightly. Zelda fell asleep second, after she reviewed a few more papers then turned off the light and curled up with her nose in Link's hair. Piper fell asleep last, well after the moon had reached the apex of its path across the sky, only after she had devised the best plan of outwitting the Deku Brothers.


Hope you all enjoyed chapter 3. Please review and tell me what you thought (likes, hates, questions, etc) of the chapter. Reviews are quick and easy to write, and you certainly don't have to say a whole lot or anything particularly insightful, but they mean so much to me. So please review, especially if you've favorited or stuck this fic on your alerts list. Thank you for reading.