Chapter Three
About A Month Later
The castle was quiet in the early hours of the morning, except for the few servants that worked inside the castle itself, there was no one awake or moving about.
Lady Morgana, however, had one day in particular when she requested Guinevere to wake her at the hour just before dawn. This morning, Gwen had woken her friend and drawn her a bath; she'd laid out the dress Morgana wanted to wear, then helped her into it once she'd dried off.
"Will you be having breakfast in the garden courtyard, my Lady?"
"No, I'll be in the courtyard just outside the King's chambers instead. We're having breakfast together," Morgana sighed and stared blankly at the wall, while Gwen brushed and braided her hair.
"I'm sorry, my Lady, I know how much you love the solitude on this day."
Morgana smiled wanly as she rose from her seat and squeezed Gwen's hand absently. She went to stare out of the window for a moment, peering out at the main courtyard before she turned back to her maidservant.
"You know what Gwen? Considering that my request for solitude this morning is clearly being ignored, then I will be spending the rest of this day in any way I fancy."
Gwen smiled, glad to see Morgana's zeal for the day return. Morgana, however, noticed that her friend's eyes were shadowed; she wanted to pound some sense into Arthur's manservant... Merlin would be lucky to court a sweet girl like Gwen.
"His Majesty's servants will be attending us both this morning," Morgana said with an encouraging smile, "and I will be having lunch with him then as well, so the only time I should see you today would be for dinner."
Gwen's smile widened and the light in her eyes returned for a brief moment.
"Thank you, my Lady! I wanted to do some gathering soon, guess I'll start today."
"Oh Gwen," Morgana said, pouting, "do something for yourself, something fun."
"Gathering can be fun."
"I highly doubt this," Morgana scoffed, arching an elegant brow, "Well, that's it, you leave me no choice, Gwen, I order you to go... um... oh! Go drink wine with those two girls - who don't hold a candle to me since I'm your best friend - and let Belle and Ella prattle your ears off."
Gwen laughed out loud and Morgana grinned.
"Ooh, and here, take this," she collected her full jug of wine and handed it to Gwen.
"Morgana, what are you doing?" Gwen chuckled, holding the heavy jug with both hands.
"I'm trying to make my best friend happy again."
Gwen's smile dimmed a little and Morgana eyed her grimly.
"You loved him, he rejected you and now you need to move on. The right man will find you, Gwen, and his gain will be Merlin's loss. A loss of enormous proportions, that he will mourn for ages."
The maidservant grinned and blinked her eyes, "It was just a little crush, Morgana. I'm alright now."
"It was not just a crush, Gwen. Why do you think it hurts so much and for so long?"
Morgana hugged her friend, the jug of wine between them, and stepped back. Gwen was biting her lip and fighting tears.
"You will be fine, Gwen. Now repeat what I just said," Morgana intoned, holding her friend's shiny gaze.
Gwen inhaled, smiled tremulously and nodded.
"I will be fine."
"And you're going to drink wine."
The maidservant laughed aloud, wiping away a tear that escaped.
"And I'm going to drink wine... as soon as I've done some gathering."
"Gwen!"
"Just for an hour. I promise."
"Well, alright," Morgana said, and carelessly strolled to the door, opening it with a flourish, "just so you know, your hour started five minutes ago."
Gwen gasped, "Morgana! That's not fair," but she smiled and hustled out the door, thanking her friend as she passed.
~~(*)~(*)~~
Gwen knelt beside the large mushroom patch and set her nearly full basket next to her. She had about ten minutes again, and then she was going home to relax with some wine, on the log seat in the tiny backyard.
Belle was coming over once her father left for his wood shop, but Ella couldn't get away from the mountain of work her stepmother had given her for the day. Still, Gwen was really looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the day.
Morgana's words were still echoing around her mind. She didn't... hadn't loved Merlin, it had just been a little crush. And yet, she'd let his rejection taint her waking hours and unfortunately, her dreams as well.
Until this morning with Morgana, she'd trudged around the Citadel, desolate and a little miffed at her own conduct since kissing Merlin; not to mention her mortification at how effortlessly her affection for him was forsaken.
The maidservant hadn't sought him out these past few weeks as she normally would have, and whenever Gwen saw him approaching her immediate area, she would quickly make an about-face and proceed away from him. She'd learned about several alternative paths to the main courtyard as a result.
Gwen plucked another mushroom, and paused as she sat back on her knees, pondering the weeks that had gone by; she'd cried... oh, how she'd cried. Belle and Ella had been a great comfort to her during that time, and now Morgana had helped in the only way she was allowed as a Lady of the castle.
Heat flared in her cheeks as her humiliation escalated.
I've been wallowing around in self-pity like some lovesick ninny! Worst of all, I've lost a good friend because of my hasty and improper comportment.
Morgana, Belle and Ella had warned her against her actions, and she hadn't listened. It was about time she minded her friends' warnings.
The heavy emptiness around her chest area sealed itself, and she sighed aloud, smiling as she plucked the last few mushrooms. She was not going to crying over Merlin, not anymore! Her mother had warned her years ago, and Gwen hadn't listened - not to her mother, nor her girlfriends. Now it was time for her to learn from her folly and move on.
Two minutes later, Gwen was on the tree-lined trail back to the castle, when Merlin rounded the bend with a basket in hand. He saw her the same moment she saw him, and Gwen could tell from his sliding glances toward her, that he was waiting for her to bolt in the opposite direction or ignore him as she passed.
Gwen did neither.
"Good morrow, Merlin," she said as they neared each other, and smiling brightly.
After a slight pause, he greeted her with a hesitant smile, "Good morrow, Gwen."
Gwen continued to stroll passed him when he said her name inquiringly.
"Yes, Merlin?" She looked up at him, still smiling.
"How are you?"
Looking into his sincere eyes, Gwen saw a friend that was genuinely worried about her. She felt the emptiness wanting to return, but she firmly pushed it aside and kept her smile.
"I'm great Merlin. Morgana gave me an unexpected free day and ordered me to have some fun. So I'm off to do just that," she said with a firm nod.
"Th - that's good." Flinging his long basket backwards over his shoulder, Merlin turned to go but quickly turned back, stopping Gwen in her tracks again. "Gwen, we're still friends... aren't we?"
He didn't look at her, his gaze was somewhere at his feet, but Gwen could tell that if she said 'no' that it would hurt him.
"Of course we're still friends, Merlin, don't be silly," she replied, and placed a gentle hand on his arm, "I just needed some time to think things through. I'm just glad that my own silliness hasn't ruined a good friendship. Thank you, Merlin, for putting up with my moodiness."
Merlin glanced up at her with a relieved smile, "Hey, I'm just glad we're still friends... I missed you."
"Oh," Gwen gave him a quick hug and stepped away, "er, why don't you come by some time today. Belle and I are going to try to finish a jug of wine without Ella."
"That sounds like fun. I'll come by after Arthur's finished training with the knights," he said grinning.
"Great, then I guess I'll see you later, Merlin. Bye."
"Bye Gwen."
~~(*)~(*)~~
Gwen had spent a magnificent day with only Belle and three-quarters of the jug of wine for company. Merlin hadn't come. Not that she'd been waiting for him... she hadn't... she just wanted their friendship to go back to the way it used to be.
Pouring the last bucket of water for Morgana's bath, she pulled the screen which the Lady retreated behind to disrobe before getting in the tub. Gwen neatened the bed and plumped up the pillows, before taking Morgana's nightclothes from the cupboard and laying it down neatly.
Once Morgana was dried and dressed, Gwen tidied up behind the screen, and placed the dirty clothes and linens into the laundry hamper; finally, she went to close the open window.
"Oh no."
Gwen turned from pulling the drapery closed, at Morgana's softly spoken words.
"Everything alright, my Lady?"
"Gaius forgot to send my potion."
"He should still be awake, I'll go get it."
"Thank you, Gwen. I don't think I'll be able to remain asleep without it tonight."
"No problem, my Lady, I'll be right back."
Gwen pulled open the door to Merlin and his raised fist. He grinned and brandished a vial of yellow coloured potion.
"Looking for this?"
"Oh, yes, thank you, Merlin," Gwen smiled, and rolled her eyes in relief, "you saved me a trip."
"Yeah, sorry to deliver it so late, Gaius has an overnight patient, and he only just finished mixing this."
"Oh, well, thanks again."
With silent waves of goodnight, Gwen closed the door. Morgana was sitting up in bed and Gwen gave her the potion, which she opened and drank immediately.
"Was that Merlin I heard just now?" she asked recapping the empty vial and giving it to Gwen.
"Yes, it was. Gaius has a patient and was only now able to mix your potion for you."
"So, you two are talking... you're friends again?"
"Yes, we spoke only for a little while this morning, but I think we'll be fine when things go back to normal."
Morgana was fighting to keep her eyes open, and Gwen helped her lay back, pulling the blanket over her chest.
"Are you okay with that? Just being friends?... 's that what you want?"
Morgana's voice slurred, and Gwen smiled as she stood straight, stretching her back.
"It doesn't matter what I want, my Lady," she replied, "if all he wants is my friendship, then that is what I'll give."
Morgana was quickly falling asleep, therefore Gwen blew out the candles and whispered a soft goodnight.
The maidservant left the room and pulled the door closed behind her, hence she didn't hear Morgana's mumbled words.
"But… didn' say… you 'kay?"
~~(*)~(*)~~
Gwen placed the jug of wine under the log seat and next to the blanket she'd spread out over a thin, yet, comfortable bed of hay.
Her father had gone hunting and wouldn't be back for two nights, thus Gwen did the one thing she knew he would have complained about had he been there; she was going to lay on the ground, drink wine and look up at the stars until she got sleepy.
She wished Belle and Ella had been able to come like they did the last time her father had gone hunting. Gods, that had been enjoyable! Nevertheless, even without them, she was still intent on enjoying the evening.
Gwen was preparing a few slices of cheese in a shallow dish when a knocking sound nearby made her pause. She put the block of cheese away before she hurried to open the door.
"Merlin!"
"Hi Gwen, can I come in for a spell. I wanted to talk to you about something, but it may take a while... it will need some explaining."
"Of course, come in."
Merlin slipped through the door and closed it behind him.
"Is your father still at the shop?" he asked, as he watched her gather up the dish of cheese and a bowl of strawberries.
"No, daddy recently started going hunting with Edmund and Argus. He should be back within two nights," Gwen gestured at two mugs, "Could you grab those? Thanks."
Merlin, unsure of what was happening, took the mugs and followed her out a side door into a small but neatly kept yard. Some stinging nettle thickets and - obviously, hand twisted - bamboo formed the small enclosure. He took in the blanket and what looked like a jug of wine under a bench, and his eyebrows raised in understanding.
"Is fun-day still on?"
Gwen chuckled, "Fun-day, as you call it, is incomplete without some star-gazing. Sit."
As Merlin sat on one side of the blanket, Gwen placed a long, square-cut piece of log in the centre alongside him. On the log, she placed the mugs, cheese and strawberries; kneeling beside it - on the other side - she filled the two mugs with wine, returned the jug under the log seat behind them, and sat back with a sigh.
Taking one of the mugs and a piece of cheese, she peered up at the stars between the small clearing of tree branches above them.
"What did you want to talk about?"
After taking the other mug and piece of cheese himself, Merlin told Gwen about the man that had saved his life from a flying creature, and how he - Lancelot - wanted to become a knight.
"The thing is, only nobles are allowed training to become knights. I owe him my life and I want to help him. So I was wondering - since you are the best seamstress in the kingdom, ahem, um... if you would fashion a knight's tunic for him?"
Merlin told her of this Lancelot's bravery and continued his, extremely unnecessary, extolling of the man's virtues, before finally showing her an illustration of the crest that would be on the front of the tunic, and Gwen nodded.
"Alright, Merlin, this should be easy enough, but he'll need armour and probably a weapon as well. He can have the armour that I use, and I'll have daddy make me new ones."
"Would they fit? You're a lot smaller than him Gwen."
"Oh, yes," Gwen chuckled, "I use man-sized armour and now that those will be gone, I can finally get daddy to make the kind that I want and that would fit me."
Gwen told him of the self-taught swordplay she'd been doing since she was a little girl, and before she became Morgana's maidservant. Then when she turned ten, Elyan had taught her some moves and techniques and after he left, she'd returned to bashing at a fencepost she'd set up just a bit further into the trees from her home.
The evening passed with the two swapping childhood stories. Merlin told her about his best friend Will back in Ealdor, and Gwen confided in him about her friendship with Morgana.
At one point Gwen had risen and lit a torch that had been stuck in the ground just inside the barrier. Merlin found that the smoke emitted a faint fragrance of lavender, and as he looked around he noticed that planted at the base of the bamboos were geranium and rosemary shrubs.
Gwen noticed him looking, "No pesky insects. Why do you think we can stay out here for so long?"
Merlin leaned against the seat behind him, with his hand propped on a bent knee, "Gaius, hangs dried lavender around our chambers, I remember my mum doing the same thing."
~~(*)~(*)~~
Finally, the wine and snacks disappeared, and their conversation turned to star-gazing. Gwen was tipsy, and Merlin was glad to be able to relax with his friend like he used to. He'd really missed her… and her tipsy chattering too.
He gazed at his friends carefree countenance in the light of the torch, and smiled as she told him of the time when she was six, and she and her brother decided it was a good idea to camp out in the yard - in the same spot they were currently occupying - after their parents had gone to bed.
"It was really dark and he'd just finished telling me a scary tale, all of a sudden he pretended to get dragged off into the bushes. I screamed for mum and dad," Gwen snickered softly, still gazing up at the stars, "he had to do his chores and mine for two days as punishment."
Suddenly, Gwen gasped, "Ooh Merlin, look, there it is! Quick lie back!"
Gwen lay flat on her back on the other side of the log and Merlin easily copied her position. The log blocked his view when he turned to her, and he pushed it down, keeping it between them, but at least now he could see her face.
"Look," she said, pointing up at the sky.
Merlin looked up at the stars as she'd directed… and squinted.
"What is that?"
"I have no idea, but it flies around up there often. I've been seeing them ever since I was a little girl."
"It could be a lightbug," he said, twisting his head slightly to study the tiny moving light at a different angle.
"That's what I've been thinking," Gwen said, giving him a quick glance, "but then I wondered if we'd be able to see a lightbug that was so high up?"
They stared at the moving light for a moment, then Merlin turned his head toward her and whispered,"It might be a magickal lightbug."
Her head turned to him, and he quickly looked back up at the night sky, clearly fighting a grin and eyeing her from the side.
Gwen's gaze returned to the sky with a thoughtful gleam, as she hid her mirth, "Hmm, a magickal lightbug, I hadn't thought of that. It's worth pondering."
She noticed Merlin's flash of scrutiny, but held in her smile and continued to observe the moving light. Merlin thought he would shock her with chatter regarding magick, and chuckled silently to herself. Gwen had no issue with magickal people, and she'd been able to tell for some time that Merlin's thoughts appeared similar to hers, though he said nothing.
They watched as the bug zipped around, both silently observing it until Gwen gasped.
"Oh, they're going to do it! Watch this part, Merlin."
Merlin chortled at Gwen's excitement, but then his mouth dropped open when two other lightbugs flew over to join the single bug and made a triangular formation.
"I think it might be some sort of mating dance, you know, like what some birds do," Gwen said, gazing up, her lips parted in awe, "just look at how they move as one."
Though the bugs remained in the angular shape, they rotated in a circular motion for a few minutes.
"Now comes the best part, " she whispered. Merlin glanced at her quickly then back at the lightbugs.
They slowly got closer together, until they seemed to form into a giant lightbug. It flared brightly for a second, before shooting up into the stars and disappearing.
"Woah, that was amazing!" Merlin exclaimed, running a hand through his hair.
Gwen sighed, "It was, wasn't it?"
"And you see this often?"
She turned to face him and smiled, "Ever since I was little, and they always do the same thing."
Turning back to watch the stars, she remembered his teasing about magick earlier and smiled.
"You know what, Merlin?"
"What?" Merlin lifted his head to study her, curious about her whispering.
"If they really were magickal lightbugs, then I think that sometimes magick can be beautiful and amazing. Honestly, I've always thought so."
