AN: I'm back with another one for you guys! By the way the situation in this chapter is real life, exactly what I'm going through right now. Just so you guys can get a peek into my life and know why I haven't been posting as much as I'd like.
Chapter 3: Bella's POV
"I think I'm in love with you Bella. You were there for me when no one else was and you still are. I just want us to fuck each other, no one else. No more Paul and no more Angela. Just you and me," Jared says.
I look into his eyes and I can see how serious he is. I met him about a year ago and even though we've actually been hanging out for a month and a half, I still don't know him. I tell him this and all of a sudden he wants to start talking about our lives and such. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a nice break from everything but he wants more than I can give him right now.
I try to find a way to tell him I'm not too sure about all of this but when I open my mouth, I find myself agreeing with him. No more Paul (how can I ever give that up?) and no more Jessica. He hasn't spent much time with Jessica so it's not going to be as hard for him as it will be for me.
Maybe I do need to stick to just Jared for now. He's not my type at all, he's kind of strange, but I really do like him. He's made me rethink a lot of choices I've made as of late as well as helped me mature. It's not like he asked for a relationship, he just wants to be the only one. And I can do that right now.
"Okay, just me and you. I can do that," I instantly feel lighter and happier.
"What time is it? Don't you have to work soon?" he asks looking around for one of our phones.
"It's like almost 5 in the morning. And I don't have to work today. I can't believe we stayed out here all night though," I say rubbing his stomach.
He sighs and wraps me in his arms tighter. "Me neither, it's nice. And you made me open it, no one else has. Thank you," he kisses my forehead.
"I didn't make you open up, I just listened but you're welcome. I've really liked doing this, talking to you. It's nice," I admit.
"Look at me, you're amazing Bella." He whispers before kissing me.
We lay on that blanket on the beach for another half an hour before I decide we should move this party to my place. Charlie and his girlfriend Tiffany have met Jared and they like him. Since I'm an adult they can't really tell me that I can't have a guy in my bedroom so it works out.
Once we get to my house and comfortable in my bed, we fall asleep in each other's arms. As much as I didn't want this and don't want to admit it, I've gotten use to this. He makes me feel things I never thought I'd feel and I really like it.
Later that week…
I wake up around noon to find Jared sleeping peacefully and snoring loudly. I chuckle as I get up to go shower and brush my teeth. I guess he has to help set up for his sister's graduation party so he has to go home fairly soon. When I get done getting around, I climb on the bed on top of him and wake him by pinching his nipples.
He groans and flips us over so he's on top of me. "I don't wanna go," he whines.
"Calm down, you're only going to help set up and in a few hours I'll come get you and we'll go party it up with Angela and Jake," I remind him.
"Oh yeah, I can't wait." He gives me a quick kiss and hops up to go to the bathroom.
"Hey, I'm here to pick you up. Come outside," I tell Jared.
"Okay, I'll be right out," he says hanging up.
5 minutes later, he stumbles out of his house clearly wasted and I get instantly annoyed. I hate drunk Jared. He climbs into my truck and leans over to kiss me. I let him kiss my cheek but show my annoyance with him. "What babe? It's a party, come party with me!" he slurs.
"We're supposed to be partying with our friends in our actual age range tonight, Jared," I simply say.
"Let's stay here for a bit and then go," he suggests.
"I can't but if you want to you can," I tell him.
"Okay, I'll call you in like 30 minutes and come meet you," he answers as he's climbing out.
I nod my head and wait for him to fully exit the car so I can pull away. It's then that I notice some bitch staring at me from across the road standing next to Jared's sister Gabi. I wave at Gabi as I glare at the dumb bitch staring at me and continue driving past them.
I go over to Angela's house and hang out for a while before I realize he's not actually calling. After bitching for a while, I head home and fall asleep alone for the first time all week. I'm more annoyed than sad because he made these fucking plans and then bailed out on them.
The next day I wake up to 13 texts and 6 missed calls from Jared. I don't plan on responding to him. He can wait just like he had me waiting all night. I lounge in bed and watch some TV as I wait for the morning to pass. I have a birthday party for a 4 year old to attend at 3. Jared is supposed to come so I guess I'll talk to him then. As the time for the party to begin approaches, I start to get ready.
I get to the party earlier than expected so I help Angela set up. As more time passes and more guests arrive I notice that I've yet to hear from Jared again. Right as I think that Angela's younger sister Lauren comes over to me. "Bella, did you see this?" she asks showing me a video on her phone.
In the video, the girl that was staring at me last night was all over Jared and he wasn't pushing her away. It was only a 10 second video but it told me a lot. "Wow, no wonder he never called me back last night. Who is that?" I ask.
"Her name is Victoria. She's a total slut. I heard they hooked up last night but I didn't hear it from a reliable source," Lauren says.
"Yeah but it's probably true," I answer sadly.
Fuck. Why the fuck do I keep fucking up? Months ago, I told myself that I would simply have sex with guys. No more love, nothing special, yet here I am hurt again because I broke my own rule. I've got to be a special kind of stupid.
I try to pull myself out of the funk that suddenly came over me but it's just not working. After another half an hour, I decide to call it quits and go home. Not long after I'm home, Jared calls me and it takes everything in me not to scream at him.
"Can I come over? I need to see you. I feel terrible about last night," he begs.
For a moment, I think about cussing him out but I want to play it off and see if he mentions the girl. "Okay, you can come over," I answer. He tells me he'll be here in 20 minutes so I take that time to mentally prepare.
Jared texts me when he's out front and I meet him at the door. We walk up to my room without a word and I sit on my bed. He pulls over my computer chair and sits in front of me. "So what's up?" I ask nonchalantly.
"I'm sorry I never called you back last night. I… I fucked up Bella," he says with his head down.
"What do you mean you 'fucked up'?" I respond.
"Last night, I was drinking a lot and I fucked up," he repeats himself.
"What'd you do Jared?" I ask quietly.
"I had sex with someone last night and I swear to God it meant nothing. She meant nothing and it won't happen again. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me," he pleads grabbing my hands.
It bothered me when I heard it from Lauren but it hurt hearing it from him. I feel myself about to cry so I remove my hands from his to cover my face. "Why? Why would you do that? You were the one who wanted to be exclusive and you fucked up! How could you do that to me?" I say through my tears.
"I don't know, I'm a fuck up. I'm so sorry," he says quietly.
"Listen Jared, I don't hate you. This fucking hurts and I feel stupid but I don't hate you. Please just go. I can't see you right now," I say turning away from him.
"Please don't do this," he whispers.
"I didn't do this. You did. Goodbye Jared," I respond getting up and opening my bedroom door.
He kisses my forehead as he walks past me and asks me to forgive him. I give no response other than slowly shutting my door. I climb on my bed and cry for a good 5 minutes before I pull myself together and call Paul. I've hardly seen him in the last 2 weeks and he knows about Jared but we've been hooking up right along just as planned. He tells me he'll be over in an hour so I clean up and get ready for him.
I know it's probably wrong of me since I just got mad at Jared for doing the same thing but the difference is he basically cheated. Jared wanted to be with just me and I agreed and since we've decided on that, I hadn't slept with Paul or anyone other than Jared. I just ended things with Jared so technically its fine for me to hook up with Paul.
Paul knows that I never call him to come over if my dad is home so he just walks right in the house and comes right to my bedroom. I decided to wait there for him in only a shirt of his that he left here.
"Well, well, well, isn't this a nice surprise," he says locking the door. I look up at him and feel myself instantly wet. He's got on a skin tight shirt and jeans that hug him in the right places. No matter what I felt for Jared, he could never turn me on by just looking at him.
"Tell me, have you had enough of that fuck boy?" he asks me. I simply nod before laying down fully and opening my legs to him.
"Nope, first you're gonna suck this dick," Paul tells me as he unzips his jeans freeing himself.
I sit up and scoot to the edge of my bed reaching out to pull him closer to me. "Yes sir," I answer before getting to work.
After a few minutes, he grabs me by my hair and pulls my mouth off of him. He pulls my hair harder indicating he wants me to stand up. He kisses me roughly before pulling my body up his forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. Without warning, he slides deep inside of me as he bites my neck.
I cry out in pleasure and he tells me to shut up. I whimper trying not to make a sound as he pounds into me at a brutal pace. "He couldn't fuck you like this huh?" Paul pants.
"No," I say through gritted teeth.
"Look at me while I fuck you Bella," he hisses.
I open my eyes to look at him and he's got a yellow ring around his eyes. The sight takes my breath and it brings me closer to climax. "Oh fuck Paul!" I scream.
"Mhm, cum for me Bella," Paul growls in my ear picking up his pace even more.
"I… I… I…" I try to warn him but I can't get the words out. I cum all over his dick, stomach, and down his thighs.
"I fucking love when you do that," he says into my neck before tossing me on the bed.
I let him take me any way he wants for the next few hours until it is time for him to leave. I shower and change my sheets before popping in a movie and getting ready for bed.
