Here I am with part 3...three years later. This was the first story I ever wrote so I can honestly say it feels really good to finish this. It feels like I've had this chapter unfinished sitting on my computer forever.
I don't own LWD. ENJOY :)
HOW IT ENDS.
A couple weeks later and a more important issue arose.
"What's wrong?" Derek asked her.
They were in Derek's room alone and they were kissing and...stuff, that she normally liked doing, but she had stopped him because now it was just making her feel anxious.
"Nothing...well, it's not nothing, it's just-you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just worried we might have a problem," she told him. He pulled away from her, getting the sense that she didn't want to be touched right now. "I really don't think I am, but I could be pregnant Derek."
Casey paused, waiting for his reaction. She'd expected him to freak out, even just a little bit but he was surprisingly calm.
He cleared his throat. "What makes you think that's a possibility?"
Casey shrugged and looked down at her hands. "Just the usual side effects. I'm kind of late, but I'm not really too late, but that's still not normal for me. Also, I've just been feeling really weird lately...like, different."
"Okay, but you don't think you're pregnant?"
"No. But it's possible."
Derek sighed. He got up slowly and started to put on his shoes and his jacket. "I guess I'll go to the drugstore then." And then he held out his hand to her. "Do you want to go?"
Casey took his hand and she held it all the way to the car.
Twenty minutes later they returned home. Casey sat on the edge of the bathtub staring at the pregnancy test, waiting for it to change colors. If it turned blue that meant she was pregnant. Derek was standing outside the bathroom waiting for her and she could tell that he was nervous. She could hear him being scolded by George for smoking in the house.
"If you're gonna do that you have to take it outside," George told him.
"Alright," He sighed and Casey heard him knock on the bathroom door. "Case? Are you okay in there?"
She cleared her throat until she found her voice. "Yeah..still waiting."
"I'm gonna go out back okay?"
She nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. She waited and waited by herself as thirty seconds passed, seeming like minutes. Then the little white screen on the stick faded into a pale blue. She started to feel sick.
She was grateful for the fresh air she got when she went outside to tell Derek the news. When she told him he looked surprised but all he said was, "Oh."
Casey didn't know what she expected from him for the next couple of days, or even what she wanted from him. She thought she would want him to be around her all the time, holding her hand and being supportive and telling her everything was gonna be okay, but Derek didn't really do any of that. He started disappearing a lot, spending less and less time with her and the rest of the family. And he didn't ask her to come with him like he normally did. Even though Casey spent most nights alone waiting up for him, it didn't really bother her much that he was gone all the time. Sometimes she even felt relieved that they were able to spend some time apart because it kept them from fighting so much. She did worry about him though, mostly about what it was he was doing. If it got too late she would call, but the phone conversations were always short and filled with silences.
They hadn't really decided what they were going to do about the baby, but the one conversation they did have about it Derek had told Casey that the decision was hers and whatever she wanted to do he would go along with. But Casey didn't know what to do because she knew that there were really only three choices she had and none of them had a good possible outcome. So she decided to wait awhile and not make any decisions, not even think about it even though she knew that was stupid. It was just that every time she did she just got overwhelmed with the misery of her situation and it was easier to just push it out of her mind.
And there was no way she was gonna tell her mom what was going on. Not ever.
After a week had passed, Nora told Casey that she was due for a checkup with Dr. Taylor. It was almost perfect timing. When she went to the doctor's office, Casey decided she'd better let her doctor know what was going on with her. She told her that her period was over two weeks late and that she'd already taken a pregnancy test that came out positive.
"We'll do another test, have it sent over to a lab and I'll call you in a couple of days to come down and get your results," Dr. Taylor replied
Casey nodded.
And the next two days brought the closing of the school year. While everyone else around her was happy and ready to kick off their summers, Casey was worrying about getting the test results and confirming the bad news, making it even more real. Emily noticed something was up with her friend but she couldn't get her to tell her what it was so eventually she just gave up asking. But she did ask her if she'd made a decision about New York yet and Casey almost laughed. Back then it had all seemed so possible, but now she knew that if she was pregnant there was no way she was going. There'd be no point since she was pretty sure LaGuardia wouldn't be accepting any pregnant students any time soon. She didn't have a choice anymore, now she was...stuck.
She didn't tell Emily any of that though, she just told her that she hadn't been thinking about New York so much lately, with too many other things on her mind. And when it came time for her second doctor's appointment, she didn't ask Derek to go with her, instead she opted to borrow her mom's car and go alone.
She sat in the doctor's office on the examination table surrounded by white walls and colorful posters, waiting for Dr. Taylor. Even though she already knew she was pregnant, she was still nervous.
After a few minutes the doctor came into the room and greeted her. "Hi Casey, how are you feeling?"
She shrugged. "Fine, I guess."
"Well, I've got some news for you. Are you ready for your results?"
Casey nodded.
"I don't say this very often but congratulations Casey, you're not pregnant."
Casey sat there, stunned while the words sunk in, and then she felt every muscle in her body soften with relief. "I'm not?"
"No. Your blood work came back negative," she replied.
She was confused. "But before when I took a test it came back positive."
"It was probably just a glitch. False-positives happen all the time with those store bought tests."
"But it's been three weeks and I still haven't gotten my period."
"Well, we checked your hormone levels and everything seems normal, so it could be stress related. Have you been feeling anxious or worried lately? Maybe because of school or problems at home? Or boyfriend drama?"
"Maybe a little," Casey admitted. A little bit of everything.
"Just try to relax a little and do some things for yourself. Read a book, or go shopping and buy yourself something nice. See if things don't go back to normal."
Casey nodded. "Okay."
After they were done and she'd left the doctor's office, Casey finally felt like she could breathe and she relished in the fact that she could now put this all behind her. But at the same time she was having mixed emotions about what this all meant. For the past couple of days she had thought she was pregnant with Derek's baby and she'd seen her whole life flash before her eyes. She'd seen herself permanently linked to Derek by something far more solidifying than her parent's marriage and it had scared her, not because she didn't love him, but because it would be this version of him that she'd be raising a child with. Every now and then Derek was sweet to her and treated her the way he had when they first fell in love, but normally he acted like a completely different person. Someone cold and distant who she couldn't relate to or understand at all. And dealing with all of Derek's different sides had gotten to be very exhausting. And when she pictured her future she saw herself tired and drained and stressed out all the time like she was now, but even more so with a baby in the mix. She thought about the times when he had physically hurt her and with the way things were, their relationship didn't seem to be getting any better, so there was a chance that that could happen again. She knew that if she was having a baby with Derek she'd probably never leave him, but now that she found out she wasn't pregnant she realized that she could leave...but would she? She didn't want to so no, she wasn't going to.
But if one thing was for sure, she knew she needed to talk to him, at least to give him the good news. In the parking lot of the hospital she sat in her parked car and called him.
The phone rang twice before he picked up. "Yeah."
"Hey where are you?" she asked him.
He coughed. "Uhh I'm at Jared's."
"Okay, well I need to talk to you about something." In the background she could hear a bunch of guys talking and yelling. "Can you step outside or something?"
"Yeah, hang on a sec." A few seconds passed and the background noises quieted down. "Alright."
"So, you know I went to the doctor the other day right?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Well, I had another pregnancy test done...and it came back negative."
And there was a pause. "So you're not pregnant?"
"No, I'm not."
She heard him sigh in relief. "Well we just dodged a huge bullet."
"No kidding," she said.
And then Derek asked her, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just found out like two minutes ago. I'm telling you right now."
"No, I mean about the doctor's appointment. I would've came or whatever, if you wanted me to," he told her.
Casey was a little caught off guard; she didn't really know why she didn't ask him. "I don't know Derek. You haven't exactly made yourself available these past couple of days. Where have you been?"
"I haven't been anywhere," he said. But Casey begged to differ. They hadn't been spending very much time together and mentally they'd been on opposite sides of the planet.
"But you're never home anymore."
"Well things have been weird between us lately. And you haven't really been complaining."
"Why should I care if you don't?" she said.
"Just because I don't spend every second of my life with you, you say I don't care?" he replied, and Casey realized somehow the conversation had gotten hostile.
She sighed, "Never mind Derek. That's not what I meant, but whatever. Just forget it."
There was a pause of silence. Casey felt like crying. They should have been happy because they had just gotten some pretty important, life-saving news; but instead something just felt really...off between them.
"Case?"
She took a deep breath. She was starting to shake a little bit, but she managed to gain control of herself. "Yeah?"
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked.
She thought about it. There was a lot they needed to talk about but she didn't want to do it over the phone.
"Yeah, but we can talk later. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing, just promise me you'll come home early tonight so we can talk okay?"
"Alright."
"I mean it Derek. Do you promise?"
"Yes, Casey I promise."
"Okay."
-Click-
When Casey got home from the hospital her mother was waiting for her on the couch, seeming slightly more giddy than usual. On the coffee table Casey spotted an envelope with a broken seal.
"Hey mom," Casey greeted.
Her mom hopped up, "Casey! This came for you today." She handed her the letter.
"You opened my mail?"
Casey looked at the address label and briefly scanned the contents of the letter. Congratulations! You have been accepted...
"I know I shouldn't have opened it. I just saw where it was from and I got so excited. Casey, why didn't you tell me you were trying to get into LaGuardia?"
Casey stammered. "I don't know...I'm not really. I mean I don't think I'm gonna go."
"Why not? It's such a great opportunity and it's all you've ever wanted to do. I don't see how you could not do it..." But she trailed off because there was an obvious reason why Casey would choose not to go.
"Mom, you know why."
Nora sighed. "Casey, if this is something you really want to do, then you should do it. Derek will understand," she told her.
Casey wanted to believe that, but New York was just so far away, and in her mind she couldn't even picture there being that much distance between them. And Casey knew Derek better than anybody else so she knew he wasn't gonna understand, at least not with the way things were with him right now. She knew her leaving would hurt him, badly and that Derek's normal reaction to being hurt by anyone was to act as if he didn't care, but in the process manage to hurt them back just as bad if not worse. Casey didn't know how she'd be able to deal with that.
She decided that she would talk to him about it tonight when he got home. He'd promised her he'd come home early and when he did they would sit down and hash things out and maybe try to figure out what was going on with their relationship. She knew Derek hated 'relationship talks' but this time it was absolutely necessary and if it meant possibly fixing things then it should be important to him too right? In her mind, she reasoned that if he really cared then he would be there.
That night, after dinner Casey stayed in his room and waited for him. She showered and put on one of his old t-shirts and she sat on his bed and waited. She started flipping through his old magazines again but around 9:30 she got bored and sent him a text. She waited for him to reply and he never did.
Eventually somebody knocked on the door. "Come in," Casey called, and a 4-foot tall brunette wearing Sesame Street pajamas opened it and stood in the doorway. "Hey Marti," Casey smiled.
Marti stepped over the piles of clutter that decorated Derek's floor and plopped onto the bed next to her.
"What are you doing up?" Casey asked.
"It's summer vacation," Marti informed her. "I get to stay up late now."
"Oh right, of course," Casey said. "But I bet you won't make it past ten o' clock."
"Please, I'm not even a little bit tired."
"Well did you need something?"
She shook her head. "No, you just looked like you could use some company."
"Thanks Marti, I suppose I could use some."
"Where's my brother?"
Casey sighed looking over at the clock. "I don't know, he should be here soon."
"Are you guys fighting again?"
"It's complicated."
Casey couldn't really see herself confiding in a six year old. And she didn't like that someone as young as Marti was acknowledging that she and Derek were having so many problems, but then again everyone knew that they had problems. And if anyone could offer any insight into how to get inside Derek's mind, it would probably be Marti.
"Daddy lets Derek do whatever he wants," Marti said.
"What?"
"He doesn't know how to help...Edwin and me were easy because we're still just kids. But Derek, he doesn't know how to help him not be sad anymore because he's a teenager and he likes to pretend there's nothing wrong with him."
"Oh. Marti, umm-"
"Do you have any coloring books? I want to make Derek a picture to try and cheer him up."
Casey looked around. "Well no, but I think that's a great idea. Why don't you go and check the games closet?"
"Okay." Marti got up off the bed. "But can I come back after I find one?"
"Of course you can. But Marti, how do you know all of that stuff? About Derek, I mean."
She shrugged. "People think because I'm six that words just go past me."
Marti disappeared and she came back with a large book and a ton of markers and crayons that she let spill out all over the bed. Casey offered to help her color.
"Did that hurt?" Marti asked.
She was referring to an old bruise that Casey had on the part of her arm below her shoulder. It was faded and almost completely gone but you could still see it. Casey felt a familiar thickness growing in her throat, but she shook her head. "Not really."
"I have one too," Marti said, showing off her own battle wound. "Dimi pushed me off the slide."
"Well that wasn't very nice of him...Hey Marti, I should tell you something."
"What's up?" Marti blinked.
"I might not be around for much longer."
Marti crinkled her brows. "What do you mean?"
"This summer I might be moving to New York with my dad. There's this really awesome school there that I want to go to and there's a chance I could get in if I train there this summer," she said.
"So you're leaving?"
"I might be, I'm not sure yet."
"Oh. That sounds like fun, but..." she looked down with a solemn expression.
"I know. Derek's probably not gonna be too happy about it. So you and the others are gonna have to be extra nice to him okay?"
"Okay.."
"Just look after him, and try to talk to him sometimes...try not to let him do anything too-" Casey sighed and stopped herself, remembering again who she was talking to. "Never mind, Marti. Forget I said any of that."
Pretty soon Casey could tell that Marti was getting tired. She waited though, until about five after 10 when she completely passed out on the bed beside her and then she carried her into her room. But the second she laid her down onto her own bed, Marti stirred back awake.
"Goodnight Casey," she murmured lazily.
"Goodnight Marti. Go back to sleep okay?"
"Okay," she said through a yawn. "And don't worry. If you want to move away, I can take care of my brother."
She helped Marti settle back into bed and she said goodnight to her one more time, wishing her sweet dreams, then she retreated back to Derek's empty room. She gathered up all the abandoned markers and crayons and the coloring book and put them back where they belonged, and after that she couldn't stop. For some reason she started to clean his room obsessively. She separated all of his shoes into pairs and lined them up neatly in his closet and she folded up and put away the clean clothes he'd left in the hamper. Then she made his bed, perfectly and she cleared out his floor, finding a place for every hapless item he'd carelessly tossed around. She organized the CDs and papers on his desk and when she was finished with everything it looked completely different.
When she was done, she glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was already past eleven and he had yet to come home, or call or even answer the text she'd sent him over an hour ago. She dialed his number and called, but the phone just rang and rang repeatedly until she gave up. She waited and waited until the clock struck midnight and then the moment finally came where she gave up completely and that was when she finalized her decision about New York. If promises meant nothing to Derek, then maybe Casey meant nothing to him too. Maybe he didn't really love her as much as she loved him.
She decided that sleeping alone in the room they'd shared for so long would be too depressing, so she went back to her own bed, but before she did she left him a note. It read:
Derek,
I needed to tell you something and you never showed up, even though you PROMISED. But regardless of that, there is something you should know...hopefully the letter next to your pillow speaks for itself.
Next to his pillow she left the letter she got from LaGuardia and she turned off the light on his nightstand. There, she thought, I'm done.
Casey doesn't know what time Derek got home that night but sometime around 10 a.m. the next morning she saw him.
"Casey, what is this?" He said holding the letter she left him. He looked exhausted too, like he'd been up all night.
"That's..." She hesitated and then she said, "That's my careless way of letting you know that I'm breaking up with you."
For a second he just stared at her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry Derek," she said.
"So that's it? You're done with me?"
Casey felt her eyes starting to water; she shook her head and turned away because she was afraid to look at him. "Y-yes."
When she tried to walk away he grabbed her arm and for a second she flinched, badly like she thought he was about to hit her. It scared her and it seemed to scare him too because he immediately loosened his grip on her arm.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Can you please let go of me?"
He released his grip on her arm completely and let it fall to her side. Then Casey walked away from him and it was over, just like that. Inside Casey's heart was screaming at her that what she was doing was wrong, but her head kept telling her that it was the right decision and that she'd be better off. But still, no matter what she tried to convince herself she still felt sick about it.
Emily was proud of her for doing it, finally. When Casey told her she hugged and told her it was the best decision she could have made.
"It doesn't feel that way," Casey confessed.
"Of course it doesn't now. That's normal right after a break up," Emily said.
"Well, yeah but I've never felt sick over one." Every time Casey thought about Derek she got a hollow feeling in her chest, like she couldn't breathe. "I mean maybe I'm overreacting," she said.
"Are you forgetting everything he did to you?"
"He only hit me twice and the first time was an accident."
"But still, that's two times too many. He shouldn't have done it at all. Casey please don't start making excuses for him." Emily stressed.
"I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm just saying, I kind of understand him. And it's gonna be really hard being around him all the time, living in the same house and stuff."
"That's why you're leaving."
"Yeah, but I still have two weeks before I go to New York. What am I supposed to do until then?"
That was gonna be a problem, they both realized. They hadn't really thought about it.
"You're gonna have to be really strong Casey. Derek might try to make you change your mind and convince you to stay. And I know it's gonna be hard because you really loved him-"
"I still do," Casey corrected. "I still love him and that isn't gonna change no matter how far away I am," she said, realizing how true it was as she said it.
"But if you're far away at least he can't hurt you anymore," she said.
"I can't help but worrying though.."
"What?"
"After I leave, I know Derek's just gonna get worse. He might do something stupid."
And then Emily gave her a piece of advice she should have gotten a long time ago.
"Maybe you should tell your parents,."
Casey thought about it. It made sense but she knew she couldn't do that. She pictured them catching him off guard with some big intervention and telling him he was being sent off to military school or something. "No, I couldn't do that to him. He needs to do it himself."
"Then maybe you should stop worrying about him and worry about yourself for a change. Just think about New York and how amazing it's gonna be. I'm sure Derek can take care of himself."
"Okay, but maybe if I just talked to him I could convince him to-"
"Casey, you can't do that. It's dangerous remember?"
"Right."
"What about if you stayed with me for the next two weeks? I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind."
"Well…" Casey thought about it and realized it would make it easier for her to stay away from Derek. But then she thought about the rest of her family and felt kind of guilty because in a way she would be avoiding them also. And then afterwards she'd be leaving them for New York and she didn't know when she'd see them again. "I don't know. I feel like my parents would want me to spend the next few weeks at home since I'm about to move out you know?"
Emily nodded in understanding. "Okay, do whatever you feel is best. But just know that if things get too hard you always have a place to stay with me."
"Thanks Em."
Even though Casey still had a few weeks left at the house, upon hearing the news that Casey had decided to go through with New York her parents believed a celebratory dinner was in order. So the very next night Nora made Casey's favorite vegetarian casserole and for dessert George brought home a huge German chocolate cake. Casey didn't expect Derek to show up to her dinner but surprisingly that was the one time in almost a month he decided to eat with his family. Or rather, sit across from Casey staring at his plate and playing with his fork. While everyone else gave Casey their own congratulatory remarks he remained silent with a somewhat blank expression on his face.
"I can't believe you're really leaving Casey. I'm happy for you but it's gonna be so weird without you here. Who's gonna help me keep Edwin out of trouble?"
Casey turned to smile at her younger sister. "I guess you'll just have to manage without me Liz."
"Well what about Derek. Who's gonna keep him out of trouble?" Edwin joked.
Casey took the opportunity to chance a glance at the boy across from her who was being uncharacteristically quiet. Edwin along with the rest of the family was oblivious to the tension between the two of them. Either of them had yet to mention the fact that they had broken up.
"Derek's a big boy. He can take care of himself," Casey said.
"Speaking of Derek, son you've been awfully quiet," George noted. Derek turned to his dad and raised an eyebrow. "Isn't there anything you'd like to say on Casey's behalf?"
"Speech..speech...speech," Edwin began chanting. Casey looked Derek in the eyes and shook her head slowly, pleading him not to. But of course her telling him what to do meant he was gonna do the opposite.
"Fine. Case…" He stood up and planted his palms on the table staring right back. After a long pause he continued. "I guess I should say congratulations. And good luck, even though you won't need it."
"Thanks," Casey said quietly.
"And whatever it is you're looking for I hope you find it. I'm sorry things had to end this way."
Casey frowned when she felt a series of eyes turn to her. "Wait….end? So you guys broke up?" Lizzie asked.
"She dumped me," Derek clarified.
"What Derek means is that we both decided it wasn't working."
"You left a note on my bed letting me know you were leaving the country."
"Well I would have let you know in person if you had showed up like you said you would."
"Is that why you wanted to talk? Just so you could break up with me?"
"No, I wanted to fix things but you never came. I waited for you for hours like an idiot and you never came!"
Nora cleared her throat and touched Casey's arm in an attempt to get her to calm down. At this point she too was standing. Casey took a breath. "You didn't come because you don't care at all. Not about me and not about our relationship. Don't try to turn this around on me and make it seem like it's my fault."
"You didn't even give me a chance to explain. Maybe you're the one who doesn't care," Derek said. And Casey couldn't believe that somehow he was trying to turn her into the bad guy. After everything he had done to her she had stayed with him and now when she was finally pushed to her breaking point he wanted to act like he'd done nothing wrong.
"Okay that's enough…" George said, trying to take control of the situation. Casey knew it was too late. They'd already ruined dinner.
"How could you accuse me of being the one who doesn't care? After everything I put up with from you."
"Don't be such a victim Casey. You knew what you were getting into when we started dating."
"I can honestly say that I did not know what I was getting into," Casey scoffed.
"Well you're off the hook now so congratulations. Hope you have a great rest of your life. You know that's just like you to run away once things get rough. Anything that's not perfect just isn't good enough for you, huh Casey? You run off to New York with your rich father like the spoiled little brat that you are."
"I'm a spoiled brat?" Casey was livid. She seemed to momentarily forget everyone sitting around them. She ignored her mom grabbing her arm, trying to calm her down. "I'd rather be that than a lousy, controlling, abusive drunk like you!"
"Yeah well you know what? You're not just spoiled, you're a goddamn bitch."
"ENOUGH!" George yelled, standing up, shocked at both of them. He turned to his son, furious. "Derek. Upstairs. Now."
Nora turned to the youngest kids. "Lizzie, you and Edwin take Marti into the living room and you can finish eating in front of the TV okay?"
The three children nodded and filed out of the room quickly.
Derek muttered something under his breath that only Casey seemed to hear.
He glared at her and Casey glared back, tears pricking the backs of her eyes. But they were tears of anger and frustration. "Screw you Derek," she muttered after him as he left, and for some reason she was the one who couldn't seem to contain her anger. Nora had to restrain her from jumping after him while George directed him out of the room. "You'll never see me again, I swear! Screw you Derek! Screw you!" She just hated it when he walked away from her. She hated it when he refused to look at her. She wanted him to turn back around and talk to her so they could finish this, but this time their parents were involved.
"Casey, honey you need to calm down right now."
"I can't. I-I have to talk to him..." Casey struggled against her mom but she just held her tighter. "Mom let go of me. Please."
"I can't do that sweetheart. Right now we're gonna go downstairs and we're gonna talk. Just us okay?"
"No, mom..." Casey cried and begged. She choked back a sob and struggled as her mom dragged her out of the room against her will. When they reached the stairwell leading down to the basement, suddenly the space seemed way too confined. The walls felt like they were closing in and Casey started to feel hot. Her chest tightened and her heart started pounding. "Mom...something's happening. I can't...I can't breathe."
Nora led her daughter over to the bed and sat her down. "Casey, listen to me. You might be having a panic attack. Okay just calm down and take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth," she said, demonstrating. "Can you do that?"
Casey inhaled deeply as best she could, and exhaled, her whole body shaking. "Good, just keep doing that," her mom said. Her breathing was shaky at first, but the more she did it the more steady it became and the more she started to calm down.
"Better?" her mom asked. She nodded, her eyes watery. She let her mother's voice soothe her. "It's gonna be alright, Casey. Just try to relax...everything's gonna be okay."
Nora pulled her daughter in and wrapped her arms around her, holding her against her chest. And Casey shut her eyes and clung to her mother. And then she broke down, in a way she hadn't since she was a little girl. Since the night she found out her parents were divorcing and her dad was moving to New York.
She began sobbing uncontrollably and she didn't stop until her face was a mess of tears and makeup. The whole time her mom just held her and rubbed her back and stroked her hair. And she kept telling her everything was gonna be okay, over and over.
When she finally calmed down and stopped crying her mom sighed. "Honey...I had no idea things had gotten this bad."
Casey sniffled and wiped her nose. "I didn't know how to tell you."
"Casey, you know George and I love you and Derek both just the same. We just want you to be happy. I don't want you to ever think that you're obligated to stay together if the relationship isn't working, or that George and I would ever choose sides. The same goes for Lizzie, Edwin and Marti. We're still a family, no matter what happens."
Casey nodded. "I'm sorry we ruined dinner."
"I'm not worried about that. I just want to make sure you're alright... You are alright aren't you?"
She pulled away from her mom and sat up. "Yeah I'm fine."
"Because some of the things you said downstairs worried me. About Derek drinking and being controlling?"
Casey frowned. She'd completely forgotten she'd blurted that out in the midst of her anger. "Sometimes Derek drinks... And he can be really mean when he does. But that's all," she said. She added, "I was just upset when I said all that stuff."
"You're sure Casey?"
"Yes mom, I'm sure."
"And a few weeks ago when you had that bruise on your eye, that was an accident right? Derek didn't do that to you on purpose?"
"Of course not," she said, feigning shock that her mother would even suggest such a thing.
Casey lied, because even with the few truths she'd told that night, there was still no way she could ever come clean about the abuse. That was one secret she imagined she'd carry with her forever.
That night Casey slept downstairs in her parents bedroom with her mom. Nora had said that it was just so the two of them could talk, and she could make sure Casey was really alright after the panic attack she'd had. But Casey knew the real reason Nora wanted her to stay in the basement was so she'd be away from Derek. Her and George had both decided the two of them needed a break from each other and as a result George had offered to sleep on the couch in the living room to give her and her mom some space.
And that night Nora had also brought up the suggestion that maybe it would be a good idea if Casey left sooner rather than waiting out the two weeks before her program started.
She had managed to sleep soundly for awhile, but at some time during the night she woke up. She blinked awake and glanced over at her mother, who was snoring quietly beside her. Now that she was awake Casey knew she'd be up for awhile, mulling over everything that had happened that night. And somehow she just knew Derek was awake too, right at that moment doing the same.
She thought long and hard about what she was about to do next. She grabbed her cell phone off the night stand and typed a quick message, but hesitated before she pressed send. The message read 'I want 2 talk. Meet me in the garage?'
She thought about the consequences of doing what she was about to do and going against their parent's wishes. If they got caught that certainly wouldn't be good. Or what if they started fighting and it escalated again?
No, that wouldn't happen. She just wanted to talk to him. She needed a chance to explain herself without their parents around. And after that she really would be able to leave and put this all behind her. At the very least give them both some sort of closure.
She pressed send and thirty seconds later got a response. "Okay."
Casey crept out of mother's room carefully, while she continued to sleep quietly. She frowned as she crept through the living room where George was also still asleep on the couch. This was exactly what she didn't want; her and Derek's problems putting everyone else out.
When she made her way to the garage Derek was already there waiting, and he glanced up at her when she entered. It was always better to talk to him like this. After a fight when they had both had time to calm down and think about everything that happened. Casey ended up being the first one to break the silence.
"How many have you had tonight?" she asked.
"None," Derek replied. He immediately knew what she was referring to. "This is actually the most sober I've been in a while."
"Good. Because I want you to be able to remember everything I'm about to say to you," Casey said and she stepped forward. "I am leaving you Derek, but not because I don't love you. I'm leaving you because you have a problem and you need help. And if I stay you'll never see any consequences for your actions...you can't get better with me here."
"Case-"
She cut him off. "I'm not asking you to apologize for hitting me or pushing me. Or yelling at me and trying to control me. The only thing I want is for you to promise me that you'll never tell mom and George what you did."
He frowned. "I don't know if I can promise that."
"God, think about it Derek. What good is it gonna do for us to tell them? Do you really want to tell them because you think it's the right thing to do? Or do you want to punish yourself because you're feeling guilty?"
"I just can't keep lying... I can't lie to them and I can't keep lying to myself. My dad has a right to know who his son is right? The kind of person I've turned into."
Casey sighed, "Derek this isn't who you are... Deep down I know the person you really are, the person I loved...he has to still be in there."
When he didn't respond she pleaded with him one more time. "Please Derek. Don't make our problems into their problems. It's just gonna make everything worse. If you can't do it for me, do it for our family."
Finally, he agreed. "Alright. I won't tell them."
"You swear?"
"Yes Casey I swear," he paused. A moment of silence lingered between them. The tension in the air made Casey realize just how tired she really was. Of all of this.
"...Is there anything else you wanted to say to me?"
She thought about it. But in the end decided there really wasn't anything else that could be said between them. She shook her head. "No...I don't think so."
"So that's it then?"
And without a tear or a second thought, she let go and gave up completely.
"Yeah. That's it."
.
.
.
I know that ended kind of abruptly. I may do an epilogue if inspiration strikes so we can find out if this is really the end for them or not, but as of right now this is the end.
I'm not really too much into LWD anymore but occasionally I'll still watch the episodes on youtube. And the funniest thing for me is how different it is watching the show now then how it was watching it when I was a teenager. Like back then I used to have the biggest crush on Derek, but now when I watch it I be totallyyyyy crushing on Casey.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this or at least found it interesting. I'd love to know your thoughts :)
