Hermione's parchment was over four feet long, though it included many corrections and deletions. They had started with a very rough idea, and it took almost the entire week to flesh it out and create a timeline to follow. Unfortunately, there were some very big holes created by the many unknowns. As they attempted to refine each step, they kept trying to answer the question "but what if Voldemort…?" They found many more questions but few answers.
At last, they felt they could do no more without actually beginning their studies. Hermione started to roll it up and create a final draft. Then she stopped and looked over at Harry, absorbed in a book on the theory of counter-curses.
"There's two more things I want to put in our plan," she said. Harry looked up, thinking she had simply omitted something they had discussed earlier.
"What's missing?" he responded, his eyes returning to his reading. She didn't answer immediately, and he looked up suddenly, sensing she had something important to consider. She was looking at him with a very serious expression.
"I…I want to tell my parents about us during Christmas. I want you to be there with me."
Harry was speechless. They had discussed their personal plans many times, but now she wanted to set a date. He was surprised, but not angry. It was, after all, something he wanted also. Slowly he got up and walked over to the couch where she sat, pushing books and scraps of parchment onto the floor to sit next to her. Her eyes were full with expectation, dreaming of a storybook future and awaiting his response. He took the parchment from her hand and set it aside, taking her hand in both of his and looking deeply into her eyes.
"I love you, Hermione. When I am feeling selfish, I think of nothing but the joy I get from you sharing yourself with me. I could never have hoped for what we have found together. I am almost afraid to tell anyone else because it might change, but I also want to tell everyone how wonderful my life has become. Our time together is priceless, but I sometimes worry that there is not much left. I don't want to defeat Voldemort to save the wizarding world. I want to defeat him so I can spend the rest of my days with you."
"For now, everything that I do is aimed at only one goal, staying alive to be with you. But I have another goal that is just as important: keeping you alive to be with me." Her eyes began to fill but he continued, knowing the time to comfort her would come soon enough. "If we tell your parents, we need to be prepared to deal with everyone else knowing, including Voldemort. We don't know exactly what it would mean, but we can guess." Then he pointed at the parchment and continued. "Realistically, we already know what it will mean, don't we?" She looked away for the first time, afraid to confront the issue head on.
Harry reached out and turned her face back to his. She turned her eyes away from him briefly and then looked directly at him once again.
"We will tell your parents at Christmas only if we have a plan to protect them or if Voldemort is already gone. I will not allow them to be used as a tool against me. I will NOT purchase the freedom of the wizarding world at the expense of your parent's lives. I will NOT make them happy by making you forever unhappy, with a livelong memory of our mistake hanging over us, or worse, leave you without your parents or me."
Hermione sobbed, shaking in fear. He was forcing her to make decisions she was not prepared to confront. Down deep, however, she knew he was right. Now he softened his tone.
"You may put the notification down for Christmas as long as we understand what we must accomplish before then. It will serve as another incentive for us to study hard." He was smiling now, and she started to respond. Very gently he continued, knowing what had to be coming. "You said there were two things. What is the other one?"
She looked at him in surprise…she didn't think he had been listening. "I wa…I want…I want to get married as soon as we graduate," she finally got out. Again, she didn't know what response to expect. Harry sat back a little, as if thinking about hundreds of things at the same time.
"Do you want to get married before it is over?"
"Harry, I love you. I know the risks better than anyone. If the worst happens, I want to be able to say that I was married to the man I loved. I want to know the joy that …" She stopped. It was impossible for her to continue, talking about the joys of marriage and the loss of Harry in the same sentence. Her tears came again, halting further speech. Harry reached over and wrapped his arm around her, knowing that this would take some time to pass. Quietly he offered his support and love and simply let her work through her conflicted thoughts. Finally, she calmed and he was able to talk with her again.
"There are many steps between now and the end of the year. Each of them requires us to make new decisions and react to the results. I want to marry you as soon as possible. You can put our marriage down for the day after school is out. WE WILL make it happen!"
Hermione looked up into his eyes and saw something she had never really noticed before. Behind the green smile dancing within his eyes was a determination that was rock hard. Harry had found something worth living for - something he had never acknowledged before. He was no longer content to be a victim or be reactive. He was determined to win, because the prize was worth the risk.
