Author Note: I know this is really depressing...it's even more depressing than cloudy, rainy holiday weather! Thanks for coming back!

Chapter 03 – That's Really Messed Up


Eric

Donna loved the watch just as Jackie predicted she would (who knew?) and he got a sweet kiss from his wife. After the limo dropped the pair off at his house, Donna was whisked away, with Jackie, to the radio station where they were going to pre-tape the interview. Eric felt more alone than he had in months. Spending the day with Jackie was fun and she did happen to point out some things he never paid attention to…such as when did Donna ever tell him she changed her work schedule?

He walked through the empty house putting dirty dishes in the sink and taking out the trash. Meandering through the bedroom, he scooped up the dirty linens and tossed them in the clothes basket only to find his borrowed nightshirt neatly folded and on the dresser. Eric took the folded shirt and was about to just stick it in the drawer when he realized that it smelled like vanilla and strawberries. Surreptitiously, he held the fabric to his face and breathed in, only to catch a glimpse of his guilty face in the vanity mirror.

Cheater! That's what his reflection seemed to say. Correction, he did not cheat. He followed an old acquaintance around town for the day and it was pleasurable. In fact, his wife insisted!

Still feeling a bit like an impostor, Eric put the shirt in the drawer and shut it, locking it away in his mind. Speaking of drawers, he looked towards the kitchen at the drawer where that damned legal document was hiding. Donna had gone to an attorney without him and filed the divorce paperwork just as easily as going to the motor vehicle department.

"Donna….I have hope. It's not always going to be like this."

Donna closed her eyes. She waited a beat before speaking and when she did it was in a low calm and solemn tone. "Are you going to sign the papers?"

If it was up to Eric Forman, those damn papers would be in that drawer forever. Donna wasn't going to ditch him like he was some bad date. Marriage vows were to be taken seriously (unlike the Pinciotti family) and his parents' marriage was solid – like he wanted his to be.

Donna had to see there was a future.

She just had too.

Donna

Local favorite television reporter, Anna Cantana, brushed the dark hair away from her forehead. The lights in the studio were hot and she was going "live" any minute. Her protégé, Donna Pinciotti-Forman was sitting just feet away from the cameras and taking notes. Anna was impressed with Ms. Donna's voice when she heard the Jackie Burkhart interview on WPPR radio she immediately invited the woman to the television station for an intern position.

The camera liked Donna's face and she was well received by a test audience for screen image. The Point Place television star finally had a backup person and the attention of the cable network news stations. Donna was her brass ring. Anna noticed the camera began the countdown and the light was flashing so she put on her "camera" face and began the news.

Donna was in her element. There was a quiet organized chaos surrounding her. She could feel the thrum and the thrill of late breaking news being developed end edited and reported just as soon as it was available. And for Donna…this was almost better than sex.

She wrote late breaking new stories for her famous mentor and in the late hours of the evening, Donna was able to deliver her PSA"s in 60 second increments. She was slowly working her way up to back up newscaster under Anna Cantana's tutelage.

And it was as if she was finally coming into her own.

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The Pinciotti-Forman House

Her warm hand covered his cold one on the table top. She had tears in her eyes. "It will only be for a few months."

Eric swallowed hard and pulled his hand away, "Six months is not a few Donna. God, I rarely see you now and you want to go flying off to Europe with a news reporter?" Eric's stomach was roiling, "What was wrong with the radio station?"

Donna dashed away her tears. Why couldn't Eric see that this was her ticket out? All that time at the WPPR was just marking time for this – her future! How could he be so selfish? "Eric," she said her voice tight. "I'm going with Anna whether you approve or not. I can make enough money to get us out of this house. This neighborhood…hell, even this state! Eric, we can move to New York!"

Eric could feel a vein throbbing in his temple. "Donna. I like this neighborhood – I never said I wanted to move to another state. Where's this coming from?" He struggled to understand his wife's impetuosity. They were so happy here – what changed? "Don't tell me those divorce papers are supposed to free me to move ahead. They aren't shackles and I married you because I love you."

Donna's eyes were closed. "I love you too Eric." She opened the lashes still dewy with tears. "I love you but I'm not in love with you. I haven't been for a long time. Maybe this time apart with change that." She said in a hopeful tone.

Eric pinched the bridge of his nose. "Donna. If you leave….you can't come back. If you don't believe that we can make this work together then…well, New York isn't going to be someplace I would want to call home. Point Place is our home. Our families live here." His speech was impassioned as he tried his best to convince her, "Our friends are here. This is where we belong."

Donna was crying in earnest because she was angry too. "Maybe this is where you belong Eric, but I have bigger dreams and Point Place is just a dot on the map. I'm going and I'll send you a postcard."

Rather than try to argue his point with a brick wall, Eric grabbed his car keys and jacket, "Oh and by the way, Merry Christmas to you too." The door slammed shut behind him as Donna reached for the kitchen counter with shaky legs. She was doing it – she was actually making a plan and following through with it and she was free.

Grooves

"She probably already had her suitcases packed before she told me." Eric said bitterly.

Kelso pulled his shirt out of the waistband of his pants. "Well dude, she had her suitcase packed before your first marriage too….maybe she just likes to have suitcases of clothes ready just in case."

Hyde frowned, "Kelso…you're such a tool." He looked at Eric, "What did you say to her?"

Eric shrugged, "I told her….I told her that if she leaves…not to come back."

Hyde and Kelso looked shocked. Hyde replied, "Harsh man. That was harsh."

Eric closed his eyes. "There have been divorce papers in the kitchen drawer for the last nine months." He looked at Hyde, 'Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

Kelso's lips were flapping, "Dude! What made you do that?"

Eric glared, "I didn't say I wanted the damned divorce…."

Hyde folded his arms over his chest and after a beat replied, 'Looks like this was being planned for a long time man. What are you going to do?"

He threw his hands up in the air. "What can I do?" Donna's words came tumbling back. "I love you but I'm not in love with you. I haven't been for a long time." "She's not in love with me anymore." He looked at his friend, "What would you do?"

Hyde scratched the side of his face, "Don't know. I would say let her go and do her thing and wait for her, but that's me. You. You are like your folks. You want a wife and the house and all the goodies that go with it. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing….just don't…don't make any permanent decisions...not yet."

Kelso reached for the bag of pretzels. "Yeah…cuz you're emotional right now…like a chick and I don't wanna see you cry."

Eric resolved to just let the day play out. Donna knew where home was. She knew how to find him. She would come back. At least he still had his friends."

Hyde held up a baggie, "I think I got prescription here that will get your head out of your ass for a while."

Eric chuckled, "Dr. Hyde….I think you have the cure for my problem."

Kelso was still a bit confused. "She's not in love with you? Is she in love with me? I mean all the women are in love with me."

Hyde tipped the contents of the baggie into a zig-zag paper. "Kelso. Just shut it."

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Eric

By the time Eric got home, Donna was already gone. Her house keys were on the table with a note. His name was written on the envelope with her perfectly scripted handwriting. He closed his eyes and blew out a breath. Maybe he should have just conceded. Let her go on her European excursion – have fun – welcome her when she came back. Was all that arguing really necessary?

And still he wanted to cry. Shout. Throw something. Really? Would that bring Donna back? He stumbled into the bedroom and gazed at the open closet door. All of his wife's clothes were gone. She actually packed everything. Eric fell onto the bed in a stupor. When did she fall out of love with him? What did he do? Eric grabbed the edge of the comforter and pulled it around his chest and rolled over into a fetal position. Maybe he could sleep this nightmare off and wake up to an ordinary day.

An ordinary life.

Maybe.

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The phone rang loudly and insistently and despite the pillow over his head, Eric couldn't stop the ringing. Giving in, he blindly reached for the receiver and ended up knocking the alarm clock onto the floor. "Whozzthis?" he mumbled.

"Eric, where is Donna? I'm at the airport and she didn't pick me up!" an alarmed voice broke through his pain-filled head. He sat up, "What?"

Jackie's voice came back frantic over the phone, "I'm at the Kenosha airport and surrounded by paparazzi and your wife was supposed to pick me up! Come get me!"

"Jackie wait!" Eric's voice hurt his head. "What terminal?"

"American Airlines and hurry! I'm hiding near the security booth. And Eric?"

"Jackie?"

"It's an emergency!"

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Two airport security officers helped Eric piled six pieces of luggage into the trunk of his car. Jackie had donned at wig and was hiding in the front seat. Eric thanked the officers and hopped into the driver's seat. His passenger had a jacket over her head but at the moment, he didn't really feel like talking. The ride to the Forman house was relatively uneventful. He parked in the driveway and got out to unlock the front door his shoes crunching on fresh fallen snow. Next, he opened the passenger door, "Jackie, we're here. Get inside where it's warm."

She pulled the coat off her head and the blonde wig sat askew on the brunette curls. She looked remorseful. "Sorry Eric, I don't know what happened. I don't know why Donna didn't call and cancel."

He reached for her hand to pull her out. "Yeah yeah….just get inside while I get your bags."

The house had a deserted feel. Jackie dropped her jacket over the back of a chair and notice that all the lights were out. There was no sense that anyone lived here. No smell of dinner having been cooked. No scent of freshly washed linens. No indication that this was a home someone inhabited.

The luggage spilled from his arms as Eric crossed the threshold. "God Jackie, what did you pack? Everything you own?"

Jackie clicked on a lamp and the soft glow warmed the dark room. "Hey." She said softly. Eric looked up after locking the door, "Hey what."

She smiled and pulled off the rest of the wig, "Why does it seem that I always pop up at the wrong time."

Eric tilted his head, "Is there ever a right time?"

She laughed, "Nope and here we are!"

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Despite the Bailey's laden coffee and the late hour, Eric felt desperate for conversation. Across the table, he had a willing recipient. "I didn't even open it." He confessed. Eric pushed Donna's envelope towards Jackie. "Would you read it and just give me the highlights?"

Eric sounded miserable. Jackie couldn't believe her best friend would just split on her husband last that. Donna was more predictable than impulsive. She must have had a REALLY good reason for leaving. Jackie picked up the envelope and tapped it against her palm. "Eric, this has to be very personal…are you sure you want me to read it?"

He dropped his face into his hands and her heart melted a little. Poor guy, he was really messed up! She nodded and said, "Okay, only the highlights right?"

Eric looked up at Jackie's pretty face and nodded. "Right." He blew out a breath.

Jackie opened the envelope carefully and was aware of Eric's eyes on her as she did so. She scanned the lengthy letter written in Donna's classic perfect penmanship.

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Eric:

I love you. I always have and I always will….but like I said last earlier, I am not in love with you. I hate myself for hurting you like this and I feel like a coward for telling you this in a letter. I just couldn't say it to your face without breaking down and crying.

Or staying.

Or worse, staying…. because I felt obligated.

I feel like I've lost…me…Donna. Just going to work and playing house with you isn't enough to keep me happy. The radio station was great when I was younger, but I had ambitions. I think I lost those years ago and I'm not so old that still I can't achieve something great.

Just not with you.

I feel like I need your permission to do my best and I shouldn't…I just feel like I'm saddled with burdens I can't carry anymore. We never had a family and you're right, it was all my fault – I can't conceive, and no, I didn't want to adopt.

Eric, we will never be like your parents. We will never achieve that kind of relationship – look at where I come from…consider how solid your roots are. We are just fortunate to have had these ten years together. I think of that as my foundation that lets me be me.

I'm sorry it had to happen this way. Anna and I will be traveling extensively while we are covering the story. It's funny, but you never even asked me about it. She's a wonderful mentor and I think I will learn a great deal. Maybe when I get back we can talk.

Be friends.

Stay friends,

Love you forever,

Your Wife.

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Jackie felt a little sick. There were teardrop stains on the stationery. This was a dump letter. The Donna she knew wasn't coming back. The wife Eric knew was never coming back. Promises made were broken. She looked at Eric's anxious face and said softly, "Eric…it's not good."

His eyes searched her bright ones for any sign of compassion. "How…not good is it?"

Jackie folded the letter and tucked it back in the envelope. "She's sorry for breaking your heart."

Eric placed his left hand over his chest and feigned an expression of misery, "Heart is duly broken."

She frowned, "Don't joke like that! Anyways, she wants to….explore her future…without you."

He closed his eyes and sighed, "I figured as much."

Jackie reached out and touched his hand, "Did you have any idea this was going on? Did she tell you she was unhappy?"

Eric nodded. "Do me a favor?"

"Sure." Jackie replied.

Eric pointed towards the kitchen sink. "The dishtowel drawer on the right…can you open it and bring me the papers?" Jackie stood up and walked into the tidy kitchen. She pulled the designated "towel" drawer open and saw a stiff brown envelope with the return address of Law Offices of Milner, Williams and Trayver Esq.

Jackie turned to her sadden friend, "Eric….why is this in the drawer?"

His eyes were filled with unshed tears, "Because I never signed them. I wasn't going to give her a divorce."

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