2000
10,…9,...8,...7,...6,….. Rayanne took another swig from the bottle and squinted out over the black ocean. She could see nothing. What the f*#k was she even doing here? Weren't they meant to be in like Santa Monica? She couldn't see any lights, Ferris wheels or roller coasters. Weren't there supposed to be, like, fireworks and stuff? She had only agreed to leave the rave because she figured Tony or Phil or whatever his name was would have like VIP passes to see the Eagles or whatever. Crap! Where the hell were they? She nudged Tony or Phil with her elbow but he was totally out of it with his arms outstretched on the sand. Shit! He was snoring now! "Hey, wake up! It's nearly midnight!" Rayanne yelled but the guy (whoever he was) didn't respond. She took another gulp of vodka and tried to figure out how she was going to stand up. She had this fantasy that for New Year's Eve she would be like frolicking around in the ocean with some really hot surfer guy with like champagne bottles and serious quantities of drugs- the perfect cocktail of 'Sex on the Beach' and ..em,.. .em, …'Zombie'! Hehehehee! Zombie! Ahahahaa! She soooo felt like a zombie right now! Heheheeee! "That's fun, Tony, right? Rayanne the Zombie!" Not Rayanne the superstar actress, no! Not Rayanne the new fresh talent on the Hollywood scene, no! Only Rayanne, the Zombie! Heheheehee! More vodka, please! Rayanne sniffed and tried to remember exactly how many lines she had done tonight. Not enough obviously because she really didn't feel that 'up' yet! It was harder than before to feel happy or high or alive. When she first got to LA, she had felt totally psyched and ready to take Hollywood down. But two years of auditioning and bar tending and palm reading and agent searches had left her feeling pretty f*%king drained. Not that she hadn't lived a shitload of life! I mean LA, the like lifestyle was awesome. Hahaha! 'Awesome'! Rayanne, the California girl! Hahaha! She had met some really cool people, like parties and mingling and drugs and more drugs and it was all really 'awesome'! Ugh! To think that Rickie, Rickie, Rickie Vasquez was like worried about her and wanted her to go visit him in New York for New Year's! I mean New York- what the f*#k did New York have that LA didn't- like bad weather and higher rents!? Please, Enrique, Rayanne didn't need New York! And Angela Chase? Angela Chase had wanted her to come back to Pittsburgh for like a 'family get-together'! They weren't even related! And since when had Angelika even used words like 'get-together'? Rayanne assumed it must be Krakow's influence. Angela was like dating Brian Krakow now which was so like totally disgusting that Rayanne couldn't even contemplate it! Did dull guys like that even have sex? Rayanne hoped not because the level of grossness would be like beyond gross. He probably talked about like math and stuff during. His entire relationship with Angela was probably based on like lame cuddling and movie nights! And 'get-togethers'! Hahahaha !I mean, really! Angela Chase should be dating some cool hot guy like Jordan Catalano. I mean, Jordan Catalano was JORDAN CATALANO! Rayanne sniffed again. She pointed a finger in the air. That whole mess was totally her fault though-yeah- if she hadn't banged Jordan sophomore year, Angela never would have broke up with him and would not now be like reduced to boring math guy! Good job, Rayanne! Another mess down to you! That's probably what Amber would say now if she was here. Amber hadn't visited her once in all her time in California which sucked because Amber was basically her only family. More vodka, please, bartender! Dadless , Rayanne! The last Rayanne had heard from Amber was that her Dad was somewhere in California so when she first got here, she had expected to meet him in some bar near Venice Beach. She imagined he would be this like cool aged hippy but still totally cool. You know, like, Pete Townsend or Don Henley or Sting. That'd be cool! They could go like surfing and he would let her sing in his band at the Troubadour and he would have all these Hollywood contacts who'd get her auditions for like cool indie movies or HBO shows. The closest Rayanne had got to TV was playing a corpse on some episode of 'Roswell' which sucked because she knew she had the range to tackle like a serious alien role. Rayanne, the Extraterrestrial! Hahahahee! Knowing Amber's taste in men though, her Dad was more likely to be some Charles Manson- type banged up in San Quentin or still protesting the Vietnam War with other junkies and homeless guys in Venice. Like father, like daughter! Yeah... She really needed to get her life together for like the millionth time this year, no, nnnnnext year! Yeah! Rehab was what the stars did when they'd partied too much, wasn't it? Did Rayanne want that? No more fun, no more 'life in the fast lane', just dull boring sobriety? She was only 20 for God's sake! Was she really expected to have it all figured out yet? Sniff, sniff. Gulp, gulp. No, no! Rayanne decided she still had a few more parties left in her once Tony or Phil or whoever woke up and they could go celebrate the New Year somewhere that wasn't so dark….5,…4,….3,….2,….1
