Monday rolled around and I was shocked to discover Jasper, Edward, Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett were getting ready for school! I honestly thought they were kidding when they told me about this part of their existence and that graduation cap display on the stairs was a continuation of the joke. I looked at them with shock as they were departing into the garage. "You have got to be kidding. That has to be the most miserable experience."

"It allows us to be a part of the world rather than exist in its shadows." That was Edward's only response as he jumped into his Volvo and raced away towards the sleepy town nearby.

I turned to Esme who was reading through the latest edition of Architects Monthly. The house was empty aside from her and I. "Why do you do it, Esme?"

She put down her magazine and smiled. Her motherly glow nearly blinded me. "Dear," she crooned, "Edward did put it eloquently. I feel sorry for them actually. I look old enough to be their parent and in most instances I play that role. Only once did I play Edward's sister. Having not replayed that role should tell you that I prefer the mother-son relationship more."

"I don't think you could be anything else," I said with a smile.

"Oh dear, you are too kind." Esme was positively gushing affection now. She had only known me for a few days, but I felt I could talk to her about anything. It was like I could do the worse thing in the world and she would still hug me at the end of the day. I felt that way about my human parents once. It was spooky when events in my second life reminded me so vividly of my first. Esme noticed that I was deep in thought because she asked, "Dear, where are your thoughts? You just went dark. What is wrong?"

"Just having some déjà vu. Really, I'm okay." I put my hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it. My answer was sufficient for Esme. That was another thing about Esme—she didn't pry. "So how long have you all been here in Forks?"

"We moved down here a little less than two years ago. Carlisle and I timed it so our children could spend the summer here and than start as freshman at Forks High School; Emmett and Rosalie started as sophomores though. They look older than Edward, Jazz, and Alice. Starting so young allows us to stay here longer, but we'll eventually have to move on again when people start noticing that we are not aging."

"Yeah, I was going to ask about the whole frozen-in-time thing."

"That is years from now. Do you want to try hunting again?" Esme asked earnestly.

"Way to change the subject awkwardly," I responded.

"That wasn't an answer."

"Uh, yeah sure." I was unsure why they were pushing this on me. Well, they weren't techincally pushing it on me, but rather giving me ample opportunity to try their lifestyle out. I wasn't having trouble keeping it down. It tasted wonderful now that I mastered the animal to human blood trick. Now that I was able to keep it down, I felt like I consumed three humans everytime I took down an elk or bear. The thought of efficiency made me chuckle. I was down for efficiency.

The best part about being a vampire was running. The sheer freedom to navigate the forest at a rapid speed was absolutely intoxicating. I could run around the world. Esme and my run didn't last long however, because we spotted a very large mountain lion high in one of the trees.

"Do you mind?" I asked Esme. She nodded and I flew up to the branch holding the lion. "Here kitty!" I taunted. The mountain lion was having no nonsense and swiped at my chest. His sharp nails sliced through my coat and shirt, but went no further. I could smell the fear and adrenaline pumping through my prey. I pounced and grabbed the mountain lion by the neck. We both fell out of the tree. I oriented my body so as to make sure the lion and I fell onto my back. I didn't want to cause the animal any more pain than what was going to naturally come. With a loud thud I bounced off the ground and to my feet. In the same motion I threw my razor sharp teeth into the juicy neck of the cat. The beast wailed in pain and I quickly snapped its neck, killing it instantly. The taste of the blood was bad at first. Remembering my trick and reenacting it here, I changed the blood's composition to taste like a human. Yum... I had to be quick though. Emmett was right. The second the heart stops, the blood becomes less palpable by the second.

I drained the cat after a few minutes and I felt all sloshy.

As I was burying carcass in a natural trench I found, I wondered what would happen if I ran across a human at this moment. It has been awhile since I smelled their true scent. They wouldn't have survived an encounter normally so… I focused on the burning ache in my throat. It burned for the human flavor, but it wasn't any more of an ache than normal. I smiled. Maybe I could do this. The just animals diet.

"This animal thing isn't that bad," I commented.

"The temptation will always be there," Esme cautioned. "You face increased temptation because of your little trick. It took me decades to acquire this amount of control and Carlisle centuries to get to his point. That time creates a comfortable cushion from making the wrong decision. The difficulty you face is choosing to be a different person—one that does not feed on humans. A decision you would regret. It is our choices that show who we are."

"Sage wisdom, Esme," I chuckled. "When did you become Buddha?"

"Right now," she replied and gave me a swift backhand upside the head. "Let's head back. School is out and Carlisle will be back from his 12-hour shift soon." She swooned at the mention of Carlisle's name. I rolled my eyes and followed her all the way back to the house. Only after crossing the threshold into the house did it cross my mind that Esme didn't drink at all on our hunting trip. That trip was all for me. She was such a sly momma devil.

Three more weeks passed since my hunting trip with Esme. I had gone out hunting at least once a day. I felt bad for depleting the local population of deer, elk, and other assorted animals until Carlisle mentioned that the Cullens had set up a huge endowment that protected the wildlife and their habitats in the Olympic Peninsula. A "good investment," he called it.

It was June and school was ending. When the kids came home on the last day, a fresh sense of freedom permeated the house. Jasper seemed the most relieved. I knew that proximity to humans affected him the worse—even worse than me. I still preferred humans, but animals satiated my thirst just as well. Such still completely surprised all the Cullens.

I was reading a book in Carlisle's study when Alice raced into the room. She collected a few items from the shelves and raced out of the room. She repeated this twice before I asked what she was doing. I followed her to her and Jasper's room to see her packing large suitcases.

"Moving some where?" I asked.

"No! Family vacation!" she responded excitedly. "Carlisle contacted Eleazar in Alaska and we're going to spend a month up in Alaska with them."

I thought about the many stories I had heard about Eleazar, Carmen, Irina and the others. I shuddered when I thought of the fate of Sasha and the immortal child, Vasilii. Pushing that terrible story out of my mind I opened my mouth to speak again, but Alice raced out of the room again.

I walked down to the living room and saw that a dozen of suitcases had appeared. For being vampires, they didn't travel light.

"I agree," Edward said as he came down the stairs carrying yet another suitcase. "But I have lived with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme long enough to not comment about it openly."

"The suitcases?" Emmett said as he waltzed down the stairs. He knew exactly what I was thinking too. He was so smart. The sun was peaking in through the windows causing him to shimmer. He was stunning to behold. He slapped Edward's back and said, "Yeah right, little bro, I just saw the two suitcases in your room. So added to the one in your hand, we've got… count them… three! They're probably filled with three-fourths books, one-eighth sheet music, and the final eighth—cd's and clothes." Emmett was counting on his fingers. So cute.

"Well, I must have something to do to filter out the incessantly loud music," Edward said in annoyance.

"Eddie boy—you don't even ride with me!" Emmett placed his hand on his hot heart and pretended to be wounded. Wounded Adonis. Yum…

"Your music is so loud that I can hear it a mile away. And worse, I get to hear it twice. First, through your head when you sing the lyrics before they even come out of the speaker. Second, when the music does come out of the speaker. I am not sure you can even call that whiny boy wounded heart stuff, music to begin with!"

"Don't forget about his girl power hour music," I added.

"Where the hell is all the hate coming from?" Emmett threw his hands up in surrender. "Besides, Logan, I know you love girl power hour!"

As Emmett and Edward continued their banter, I walked over to an open window and peered out into the spring rain. Crossing my arms, I stood there for about an hour as the Cullens whirled about their house. What about me? I was still unsure about meeting Eleazar. I was very aware of my abilities… and my weaknesses, but I didn't know if I wanted others to know as well. Emmett was going, I thought. Well, really I didn't think it because it didn't come from my brain; more like a "land down under" the belt to clear.

Rationality overtook me: I guess I better clear out before they leave.

I walked up to the kitchen where Esme was watching a Rachel Ray cooking show. My giggle at the sight caused Esme to unglue herself from the television. "I think I'll heading out. It was really great meeting you and your family, Esme."

Esme looked perplexed. She shut the television off and walked around the breakfast island to stand in front of me. "What do you mean you are heading out? Where are you going?"

"Well, you and your family are heading to Alaska soon and I'd feel really awkward staying at your house while you're all gone. Besides, what if the mailman delivers something here? I haven't seen nor smelled a human in weeks. I'd probably jump him right there and drain him dry."

"We have a post office box, so we do not get the mail here. It is a bit risky to have random people on the property who might causally see one of us jump from the second floor windows or balcony and land gracefully in a pair of pumps, do you not think so?" Esme pointed down at a pair of Alice-approved leather boots.

Alice flitted into the kitchen. "Yeah, you're not taking those pumps up to Alaska. I can't get you anymore because they are out of season and they look too good on you."

Esme chose to ignore Alice's comment, but eyed her down instead. A second later, Esme turned her eyes to me and said, "And besides, I know you would not drain a human dry any longer."

I was annoyed at Esme's presumption about my nature. I was a vampire after all. "I could easily drain one." I sounded rude, but her presumptuous comment was eating at me.

"Logan, I said, 'would not,' not could not. Remember what I said in woods on our hunting trip? It is our choices that define who we are. It is your choice not to drain a human that defines who you are. Have a little faith in yourself, son."

I said nothing and an awkward tension settled on the room. Son? She called me son. I felt close to the Cullens, but never to the degree I saw between two or more of the Cullens. I ignored Esme's last word and opened my mouth to speak.

"Do you want to come to Alaska with us?" Emmett asked. He heard the whole conversation from the other side of the house and decided to jump in.

I looked at Emmett, who entered the kitchen with the rest of the Cullens coming in behind him. His dimpled smile distracted me. Of course I wanted to go. I sputtered, "I didn't want to impede on your family vacation."

Esme opened her mouth to speak, but Emmett beat her to it. "Come on! You would be bored sitting in the house all by yourself for the next month. The only company you'd have is if a delivery man did come to the door." He giggled a little. I wasn't impressed and my glare communicated the point.

Esme started to speak, but Jasper cut her off. "Yes, come. I looked into the grizzly bear situation where we'll be. The population is too large right now. The Denali National Park has allowed hunters into the park to weed some of the population out."

"Oh, yeah!" Emmett did a fist pump. "You've got to come. They're so much more fierce up there."

Esme looked perturbed. She looked off out the windows until everyone else had put their two cents in.

"Esme, care to join us in the conversation?" I queried.

Emmett opened his mouth to speak again, but not fast enough to dodge what happened next. I whipped my head to a kitchen cabinet and ripped a frying pan out with my telekinesis. I turned back to Emmett and before he could speak, I hit him square in the face. The pan rang out in a chorus and the room erupted in laughter. Jasper fell to the ground; he couldn't handle it. Everyone continued to laugh aside from Esme, and Emmett of course. I quickly stopped laughing and put my serious face on. The room quieted down. "Go on Esme. What is on your mind?"

"Dear, why don't you want to go to Alaska with us?" she calmly asked while simultaneously lacing every word with a thick layer of guilt.

"Um, well…" I couldn't really respond.

"Where would you go? What would you do?" she worried out loud.

"Esme, where are you going with this? I'm not going to hunt humans! I mean, I will if I want to, but I don't want to."

"Logan, stop being obtuse. The thought of you leaving this family breaks my dead heart. Most vampires we run into look at our eyes, judge us, and then run away. With you, you are far more human than you know. You didn't run. You investigated and sought us out. I find that to be an endearing trait."

"Esme is right," Carlisle chimed in. "We haven't discussed this with you, but Esme and I, and I hope the rest of the family agrees with us, want you to consider living with us for awhile. I know you were just visiting and learning about us, but we also got the opportunity to learn about you. You have a unique way of thinking about the way the vampire-world and the human-world intersect. I think that way of thinking and your personality would fit well with us."

I was confused by the speech. It took Emmett all of eight words to lay it out for me. "Logan, do you want to be a Cullen?"

"I know we can't replace your human family…" Esme qualified.

I stopped her there. "You're right. You can't replace my human family. You can't replace them because I know only love, friendship, and laughter here. To be like my human family, I would need to see bigotry, stoicism, and hatred." I looked into Esme's eyes and saw her soul. She was my real mother and this was my real family.

Edward, who was aware of my every thought, broke the silence that ensued after I spoke. "Logan, why don't you want to stay with us?"

I toiled with that question. The best I could think of was first, I had only known the Cullens for a few weeks; second, I didn't exactly feel guilty for killing humans unlike the Cullens; and third, I was still unsure about my ever-enlarging Emmett infatuation. Edward let out a small laugh after my last thought. I stared him down, challenging him to say anything.

Edward smiled. "Give it time, Logan; for all three reasons, that is. What I mean to say about the second reason is that guilt is a personal demon. I can vouch for every one of us when I tell you that each of us has his or her own set of personal demons. Just because most of us have a guilt complex when it comes to being a monster, does not mean that you have to as well. Just give us some of your time and you will understand. We all come from different backgrounds and we are the product of all our past decisions. We would not ostracize you for a personal decision like that."

"I'll go with you to Denali," was my overly simple response. Esme would've beaten me in a competition for best response, however. She gave me the biggest hug of my life. I silently thanked God that I was a vampire for I would have never met Esme or anyone else otherwise.

The trip north to Denali went by quickly. We only had to stop in order to refuel Emmett's Jeep and Edward's Volvo. Edward volunteered to drive his vehicle the entire way so as to avoid Emmett's musical selection. I really enjoyed it so I made sure to volunteer to sit in the front seat of the Jeep all the way up. Emmett chose the music while I chose the volume, preferring the higher setting than was necessary for our overly sensitive ears.

Eleazar, Carmen, Tanya, Irina, Kate were all nice enough. Tanya, having been rebuffed by Edward for the upteenth time, set her sights on me. Her flirtation went on for a week until Emmett, who appeared annoyed by the whole situation, told Tanya of my affliction towards vampires of the male variety.

"And we lose another one to your team!" Tanya groaned. What was strange about the interaction was the fact that Tanya was talking to Emmett when she said it.

Emmett was insistent that the whole family—Cullen and Denali—go hunting grizzly bears. It seemed like he had a score to settle every time he took one down. He didn't let them suffer by any means. He wasn't that cruel. On the latest trip, I asked Rosalie whether Emmett had a grudge against bears.

Rosalie laughed response. "Emmett is the easiest going person I have ever met. That is probably why Esme and Carlisle thought we would be such a good pair. He would be the ying to my yang." I felt nauseated at the thought of Rosalie's yang. I decided to believe it was the bear blood that was sloshing around inside of me instead.

Rosalie continued, "Seriously though, he is the most at ease being a vampire, aside from perhaps you, Logan. But I think that when he hunts grizzlies, he is taken back to his last human day in that forest. He asks the big 'what if?'"

"'What if's' are lame," I whispered as Emmett took down his third grizzly of the evening. I was impressed with Emmett's grace given that he was such a burly man.

When Emmett finished draining his catch, I yelled to him, "Hey! Save some for hunters! They probably paid good money for their licenses and we're as good as poachers."

"Nah, it's all good. I got thirty licenses before we crossed the border into the park," Emmett responded as he joined the rest of us. "The limit is three, but with ten alias, that's thirty. I'm legal. Are you?" He stared right into my eyes. He was serious.

"Yes, who will I get my license from? The Volturi Hunting Commission? I'm not exactly human," I joked.

"You live in a human world, Logan." Emmett responded curtly.

"I would care to debate that with a human," I challenged. I too was serious. Why was Emmett angry all of a sudden? I was a vampire and even if I'm testing out the Cullen diet, that doesn't mean I had any intention of being something, some species that I wasn't. I've already been a human and that blew up in my face.

"Hey Emmett, cool down," Edward called from across a ridge. "We better get out of here. I'm hearing human thoughts nearby."

Then, the smell hit me. The wind had changed direction and the potent smell of doe urine was all encompassing. Doe urine, or some commercial chemical that smelled like it, was the choice of hunters to avoid spooking their prey with their real human smell. This brand clearly wasn't tested on vampires as my brain quickly separated the knockoff from the human. I could smell the sweat and unbathed musk of two male hunters.

It made me thirsty.

"They're stalking some bears going in the opposite direction," Edward informed us.

"Why would they be doing this at night?" questioned Emmett. "Hunting at night isn't safe for humans!"

Edward strained his eyes into the nothingness that was the cool Alaska night, concentrating. "I don't think they're hunters—legal ones that is. … Oh my, they are after a mother bear that has two cubs, young cubs." Edward looked at Emmett, "They are close."

"How can they see in this pitch black," Jasper asked. "Night vision goggles?"

Edward nodded.

Alice gasped as she came out of a vision. Before she could say anything, Emmett was gone in a blur in the direction of the poachers.

"Edward, what is he doing?" I demanded.

"Emmett!" Edward yelled.

"QUIET!" Eleazar commanded in his Castilian accent. Nobody moved. "We can't kill them! It'll just bring more people up here to investigate. We have to stop Emmett."

Eleazar waited for Carlisle's decision. Fortunately, I wasn't a Cullen, just a guest, well, sort of. I took off into the night in the direction of Emmett. I didn't want anyone to die, but I also didn't want Emmett to have to deal with the emotional turmoil of killing a human. His conception of a good soul didn't involve killing humans any longer. I didn't have that qualm in my psyche though. If any human is going to die, it is going to be at my hand.

I ran steady for two miles. It took but a few seconds to catch up Emmett, who was hiding behind a large evergreen tree. I phased through a couple tree stumps to get to him faster. He saw me coming, but didn't move. I got in really close to him. The tree was barely wide enough for him let alone me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I implored.

"You heard Edward—cubs! They haven't even had a chance!" Emmett's eyes were crazed. We each heard the sound of a gunshot. I waited a cautious second, but I heard five distinct heartbeats. Two human, three bear. They missed. Emmett sighed.

"Listen, you don't have to kill them. We just need to spook the humans away," I suggested.

"NO! Poachers are not humans."

"Emmett," I whispered. I got real close to him. I took in his sweet scent and it was heavenly. I had never experienced such a heady, gratifying scent in my life. I coaxed myself out of his personal bubble and took a fresh breath of air. His scent was re-welded to my memory though. "Emmett, you can't kill them. They're humans no matter their crime. Let their system judge them."

I smiled.

"How can you smile at this!" Emmett roared. His muscles were trembling. I suspected his rage would explode any second. We heard a gun safety click off… His eyes widened and became dark as night. Blood lust was Emmett's driving force now.

"I got this!" I commanded. I threw my hand out beyond the tree and sensed the cold metallic gun no more than fifty yards from me. I pulled it to my hand through will of mind. "Get the other gun," I whispered. "I'll spook the humans."

"Where are you going with this?" Emmett asked raising his left eyebrow in the most adorable way. I guess his blood lust didn't take full control.

"Right to the Alaska State Trooper's office in Trapper Creek with sufficient evidence to get them convicted of poaching. Such is a high offense in Alaska if I'm not mistaken," I responded coolly.

"You're dangerous," Emmett responded quietly. He whipped around the tree and ran towards the gun-wielding poacher.

I dropped my newly acquired gun into the leaves and ran towards the other poacher. Emmett grabbed the gun out of his poacher, but not before he got another shot off towards the bears. I jumped in front of the bullet. Before I could react and dissolve the bullet, it blasted through my Carhart jacket and attempted to lodge itself in my back. Shit, that stung! The bullet bounced off my granite exterior and fell to the ground. My jacket was smoking.

Meanwhile, Emmett thrust both poachers to the ground hard. They landed with a thump and cries of shear terror. Emmett twisted the gun into a bowtie and then threw it back towards the other gun, our evidence pile.

The poachers tried to get up, but I whipped pass the poachers and tossed them down again. Emmett grabbed each of their coats and pulled them over their eyes, their night vision goggles getting tangled in their coat tails. Emmett then lifted each poacher by the foot and held them aloft.

I stopped in front of them. The smell of poacher's adrenaline and terror was as intoxicating as Emmett's scent.

Human, I thought. The image and feeling of real human blood running down my gullet nearly blinded me. I growled. Emmett realized my thoughts instantaneously and flung the poachers to the ground behind him. They landed with another thump and cry of fear. Emmett crouched in front of me, separating me from the poachers like he was defending his catch. The wind changed and a tsunami of his scent washed over me. It broke me out of my bloodlust and I blinked. I looked up into Emmett's now-golden eyes and said, "I'm fine."

"Good enough," Emmett said with a smile.

I walked over to the poachers who were trying to get their goggle-coat predicament under control. I raised my hands to each poacher and pinned them against the cold earth with my telekinesis. They screamed bloody murder as they tried to squirm out of my mental grip. I looked out into the distance and saw Carlisle and the others walking over. Emmett nodded his head as they rushed in.

"They should have an encampment nearby. See if you can dig up some evidence. Logan and I can stay and watch them," Emmett whispered below the hearing range of our prisoners.

Carlisle nodded. I could tell he wasn't pleased, but understood where Emmett was going with this. Carlisle and Edward were off in a flash, but back within five minutes. They had guns, cash, and all the necessary things a poacher would have—illegal traps, bait, et cetera. They also had two grizzly bear hides. Both of them were cubs. I looked into Emmett's eyes and they were pure fury. Emmett growled and the blinded poachers cowered.

"Emmett, go home. We'll make sure these people are handed off to the authorities," Jasper said calmly and again, below the poacher's hearing range. Jasper was pumping out so much lethargy; I thought I'd fall asleep.

I grabbed Emmett's hand and pulled him along. We quickly let loose and ran through the forest back to the Denali's house. After entering, I dropped onto the couch. Emmett started to pace. I could sense the tension on him. "Emmett, what's up?"

"I should've ripped their heads off. They were cubs… cubs, Logan! You know, I was a cub once. I never had a chance either when a big old adult decided to maul me to death. I had never felt so helpless or fearful in my entire life. Even the burning of the change wasn't as bad. It was all that I could think of just now." Emmett raked his fingers through his hair. The stress just poured out of him. I didn't need be Jasper to know that much.

"Was this before or after we ran into the poachers? You seemed pretty preoccupied," I said.

"Coming up here has made me question a lot of things I know to be true. Or I mean, thought to be true. I'm not a deep person, Logan. You know that. I see a football game or pretty girl, and I can appreciate it. I mean, I could. I just don't know. The bears though. They're a constant reminder of the question of what would my life had been if Rosalie hadn't found me. Hadn't got Carlisle to change me. Hadn't…" Emmett took a breath, "saved me."

"You'd be dead," I said coldly. Emmett gave me a look of disbelief. "Emmett, I've known you for awhile now so I'm not going to sugar coat anything for you. I'm going to tell you the truth, always. Keeping it clear and simple should be attractive to you. You said you're not a deep person." The word attractive was awkward when it came out. I decided to wait until Emmett responded and hoped that he would break the obvious tension. He didn't. Great! I continued, "By the way, I think you are a deep person. The difference is you don't hide it in a tangled web of lies and omissions. Edward is a great example. I may not be able to read minds, but I know he toils with his own life, or the existence he calls it, every single day. He's fighting this never-ending battle with himself. You know: the monster vs. the human that was. He's deep too, but for him, he hides his battle scars. You don't. Emmett Cullen, you're a good soul. If you question your existence, you're only being, well, more human. Isn't that what your striving for anyways?"

"I don't want to be human, Logan. I lost that opportunity years before you were born. But I don't want to be a monster either. I've already experienced that."

My interest was peaked. "What do you mean 'experienced?'"

"Well," Emmett started, but cut himself off when the rest of the Denalis and Cullens returned. "Er, I'll tell you about it some other time."

"We dropped them off at the ranger station just outside the park," Carlisle said.

"When they saw the cub pelt, they knew instantly that they had poachers on their hands," Edward added. "They won't be harming anything like that again."

Carlisle approached me. His fury was apparent. "Logan, what you did was reckless. You could have exposed us and our cousins here in Denali."

I got up to respond, but Emmett jumped to my defense. "No, Carlisle, it was my fault. I lost it when I heard cubs were involved. It's not Logan's fault."

"I know that you lost control and that is why I am not concerned with your actions. Given the end result, the means have less consequences." Carlisle turned to me. "But you, Logan, you made the conscious decision to jump into a confrontation between a vampire and humans—to save animals. We do not get involved with human matters. It is a hard and fast rule. You are young to this life, but that does not give you an excuse."

I had to swallow the venom in my mouth. "Carlisle, I'm a vampire. I'm not a Cullen. The only hard and fast rule that is even regularly enforced is keeping the secret. I merely assisted Emmett in keeping the secret without life being lost. Don't mistake me for one of you. I'm not under your control." The silence in the room was heavy on my nerve. I was glad my head won over my instinctual push to crouch into a defensive posture in that moment. That would have escalated the interaction. "And honestly, if you disagree, I'd be happy to part company with your fine family. I don't wish to cause any more tension than already has been created."

"You can't leave." Emmett stepped towards me.

"I agree." Esme put her hand on my shoulder. "You can not leave. You are a part of this family, even if you do not wish to be a Cullen."

Carlisle grabbed Esme and pulled her into his side. He looked at me again with the same concerned eyes. "Esme is right and I should be a little more open with you about why I am so concerned. It is not really that got involved with those poachers, but what could have happened. I could not bear to see what would happen if the Volturi had to become involved."

Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett all collectively expressed their confusion. I had to agree. "I have never met the Volturi."

Carlisle continued, "What this event has shown me is that you are willing to help your…" he smiled, "brother. But it also showed me the possibilities that could result from your actions. If the Volturi were to ever discover your talents, well, they would covet you and seek to have you join their ranks."

I broke the silence that overtook the room. "Carlisle, where is all this coming from?"

Carlisle hesitated.

"Alice had a vision albeit brief. It was clear though—you met the Volturi and they sought to have you join them." It was Edward who spoke this time.

I knew what he meant: It was common knowledge throughout the vampire world that the Volturi Guard wasn't full of willing volunteers. Slavery would be the best adjective for the Guard membership. I shuttered at the thought. Obey or die. The vampire that scared me the most was the one who could dissolve and create relationships and allegiances among vampires. Being told to do something was contrary to the freedom-loving nomad, which I considered myself to be. (Or used to consider.) That loss of control over myself was terrifying.

I turned to Carlisle and decided to avoid asking why the Cullens held Alice's vision back from me. "I'm sorry for misjudging you. I thought you sought to push your lifestyle on me. To control me." I hoped my tone of voice showed the apology I felt inside.

"Getting involved with humans is a sticky mess most of the time. We have all had our share of mishaps and thankfully, they have resolved out well for the family so far. I just do not want to tempt fate too many times," Carlisle cautioned.

"Again, Carlisle, I apologize, but I should have told you my plan from the get go. I knew Emmett was so enraged that he would have torn those poachers limb from limb." I looked to Emmett who nodded in agreement. I kept looking at Emmett and addressed him. "But Emmett, what you don't know is that after killing those people, you'd feel terrible. You'd be full of remorse and regret, and I didn't want that. I know you've had mishaps, as Carlisle calls them, so am I correct about the emotional aftermath you would face?"

Emmett gulped loudly in response.

I exhaled a small laugh. "You see, Emmett, you are deep."

I turned to Carlisle again. "I think the cliché goes, 'I would have taken one for the team.' I would've killed those humans in one of their heartbeats. I knew that exposure wasn't an option and I also didn't want Emmett to have to be the one to do the deed. That's why I concocted the plan to involve police. If the plan failed, I would have taken care of those poachers and ensured that no one found their remains. I'm pretty good at that."

"That is why the vision changed so fast!" Alice shrieked. "I'm so sorry, Logan. We should've trusted you."

"What is done is done and we are wiser for it now. Time to count our blessings and move on," I advised.

"Sound advice," Esme added. Carlisle sighed and took me into a hug. A manly hug, but a hug nonetheless.

"I am proud of you," he whispered. "But what is this 'don't control me' bit?"

I whispered back. "I was changed at 18 so I think the inherent rebellious nature of a teenager is locked in for eternity. Sorry in advance."

"I'll lock that sorry up for a rainy day," he threw with a slight punch to my shoulder.