Heyyy! I'm back from Europe. It was torture I tell you torture! No internet access…*shudders*
But rejoice! I have decided to update! :D

Disclaimer: BTW, I in no way own Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is no longer allowed anywhere near the Weasley Twins. Twins + Harry Potter = Mass Hysteria. Enough said.

Harry Potter is not allowed to watch Naruto. Any Naruto paraphernalia found will be burned. The ideas Harry has gotten from the shows is not really good for anyone's sanity.

Harry Potter is not allowed to watch any more crime shows in order to find new ways to kill Draco Malfoy. Being insulted is no excuse for homicidal tendencies.

Although it is quite obvious that Percy Weasley has an icicle up his ass, Harry Potter is not allowed to send him an ice-pick for Christmas with a note saying "I thought it might be helpful for whenever you want that icicle in your ass out. You're welcome!"

Harry Potter is hereby banned from the premises of Hogshead in so that no further drunken riots inside said pub will occur. (AKA, Harry Potter is not allowed to cause drunken riots in Hogshead.)

Harry Potter is not allowed alcohol whilst in The Three Broomsticks, for fear he will lead other drunks to Hogshead to start a drunken riot.

In light of recent drunken events, Harry Potter is not allowed to be anywhere near alcohol. Ever. All alcohol near said insane hero is to be vanished and replaced with water.

Harry Potter is not allowed to play with Mentos and soda. If the explosion of soda or the explosion in general (and everyone can agree that explosions and Harry Potter should not be mixed) are not good enough reasons, then what is?

Harry Potter is not allowed near anything with sugar or carbonated drinks, as this will lead to trauma, broken bones, decimated buildings, and a drastic population decrease in bunnies.

Harry Potter is no longer allowed to hit on anyone, male or female, without proper supervision. If hit upon, you have express permission to do whatever you have to, to take him out. Bodily harm and maiming is allowed.

Harry Potter is not allowed to dance the Macarena in this lifetime or any following lives. The dirty version that he has done as scarred too many eyes already…

Harry Potter is not allowed to train bunnies into vicious attackers so he can set them on unsuspecting Hogwarts students.

In the interest in keeping the Magical World attack, Harry Potter must be followed by a platoon of while in the Muggle World, so the chaos created in Harry's wake will be easily fixed. …On second thought, the platoon should also follow Harry Potter while he is in the Wizarding World so the citizens will not be privy to their hero's loss of mental stability.

AN: I had a great time writing this! The Macarena part was inspired by a conversation with a couple of friends on how it was supposed to go, since none of us could remember the order. I still can't. And thankfully, there has been nobody (at least to my knowledge) that has done a dirty version of the Macarena. Could you imagine all the mentally scarred five year olds in the world? Though the dance would be argued to have slightly sexual connotations…

Unfortunately, since my vacation, everything for Gundam Pilots at Hogwarts STILL comes out like crack. I mean I could post a crack version until I get my head on straight, but…well, you tell me what you want. Should I post a crack version now and then try to write the serious version?