Diana Prince, Secret Identity part three
By Galaxy1001D
Floating through space, the Justice League Watchtower orbited the planet Earth. In the monitoring room was a coffee colored man with a military buzzcut was wearing a green and black uniform that was recognized throughout the galaxy as the uniform of the Green Lantern Corps. His eyes glowed an eerie green, but his appearance was pedestrian compared to the man sitting next to him. To his right was a green skinned alien wearing a blue cape, blue briefs, blue boots a red belt with a gold buckle and two baldrics that attached to the cape at two large gold buttons at the shoulders.
"Quiet night," Jon Stewart, the Green Lantern muttered.
"Yes," J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter agreed.
Meanwhile elsewhere on the station, Wonder Woman and the Flash were still trying to find a civilian cover for the amazon princess.
"Let's see," the Flash stroked his chin. "If being a supermodel's out, you could always masquerade as the model's poor cousin: A dancer. With your grace and agility, you should be a natural."
"A dancer?" Wonder Woman put her hands on her hips and raised a skeptical eyebrow. "What kind of dancer, a Broadway dancer?"
"Or you could be an exotic dancer," the Flash teased.
"I'm already exotic," Wonder Woman sighed. "I'm Princess Diana of Themyscira, I'm exotic enough as it is! I thought the idea was for me to be more ordinary."
"No, Diana, I mean a stripper!" Flash explained impatiently.
Back in the monitor room, the Martian Manhunter sat up in his chair. "One of our friends is in danger," he announced seriously. "His life hangs in the balance."
"In danger? Who is it?" Green Lantern asked as he sprang from his chair, ready for action. "Quickly J'onn! Who is it where are they?"
"Flash has just told Diana that she would be a perfect stripper," the Martian said with a straight face.
"Hell," Jon Stewart grunted as he sat back down and adjusted the sensors. "I can't save that idiot from his own stupidity."
"Agreed," J'onn J'onzz said as he relaxed in his chair and resumed scanning the Earth for trouble.
"Whoa!" the Flash cried as he rolled through the archway leading into the monitoring room. "Diana can really throw!"
"Flash, please don't tell me that you're stupid enough to tell Diana to her face that she would be a perfect stripper," Jon Stewart groaned. "The rest of us depend on you to watch our back. If you really are that stupid I'll throw you out the airlock myself."
"I was looking for something that nobody in the world would suspect Wonder Woman would ever do!" Flash insisted. "Admit it: Diana would never do that in a million years! That's why nobody would suspect that Princess Heat is really Wonder Woman!"
"Princess Heat?" J'onn asked.
"Diana's stage name," the Flash smiled as he got up and brushed himself off. "She's a princess, and she's hot."
"If the stripper is supposed to be a cover identity, there's no way you can call her a princess," Jon Stewart shook his head.
"Okay, how about 'Temptress'?" Flash grinned.
"It seems beneath her," the Martian Manhunter said coldly.
"Temptress," Green Lantern shook his head. "Man, you really are stupid aren't you? You're lucky you're the fastest man alive, but the Watchtower has only so many places to hide."
"Why does she need a cover identity anyhow?" J'onn J'onzz asked.
"Yeah is this some kind of undercover work?" Jon Stewart added. "Drugs or some kind of human trafficking ring? Is Diana going to need backup or anything?"
"Oh it's nothing like that," Flash chuckled. "She just wants to pass as a normal woman, that's all."
"That's your idea of a normal woman?" Green Lantern asked. "You are so damaged."
"A normal woman who looks like Diana," Flash shrugged. "She stands out. I just thought of a cover where no one will be able to remember her face. She should be thanking me."
"Man!" Green Lantern shook his head in disgust. "When they were handin' out the brains, you thought they meant trains, and you said 'no thanks, I'm the Flash and I don't need one.'"
"When did this happen?" the Martian Manhunter asked. "Who was doing this? For what purpose did they distribute brains?"
"Flash, you better not be talking about me," Wonder Woman scolded when she marched into the monitoring room. She pinched his ear through his crimson cowl and turned and walked back out again.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow," Flash grimaced as he was forced to follow her out of the monitoring room.
"Man, the big dummy's probably a male stripper himself," Jon Stewart grunted. "He doesn't have enough brain cells to do anything different."
"Actually, he's a forensic scientist," the Martian Manhunter announced.
Green Lantern monitored the sensors for almost thirty seconds before turning his head in J'onn J'onzz's direction. "What? Seriously?"
He couldn't hear J'onn's retort because the deafening screeching noise of an angry woman was too loud for conversation.
In another room in the Watchtower, a masked broad-shouldered man wearing a bat eared cowl and a scalloped cape over a grey unitard entered to break up the fight. Long black gloves decorated with three fins along the exterior arms covered his hands and forearms. A matching set of briefs was under a thick yellow leather belt with military style pouches. His boots were the same onyx color of his gloves as were the dark briefs that fit over the tightfitting grey bodysuit. On the chest was the silhouette of a bat, its wings spread wide. The cowl was a full face mask, exposing only the eyes, mouth, and chin. The bottom of the nose was exposed allowing the man to breathe. "Shayera!" the Dark Knight shouted. "How many times have I told you to control your temper?" he paused to frown at Wonder Woman and the Flash. "Diana? This is new. I think you can let him down now."
Diana was holding the scarlet speedster in the air with one hand by grabbing the top of his head and squeezing. "Oh! Batman!" she blushed as she let go of the Flash. "I didn't know you were in the Watchtower."
"I just came up to do some research," the Batman replied. He looked at the Flash who was clutching his head and stumbling around as if intoxicated. "You okay?"
"What?" the Flash shook his head. "Sure! Nothing I haven't taken before!"
Batman's eyes narrowed. "Listen you two, if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times, if the Justice League is going to last we have to learn to get along. Leave the infighting to the villains. Do I make myself clear?"
Flash stood at attention. "Oh yes sir! Yes sir!"
The Dark Knight looked at the amazon princess. "Diana?"
"But! He said! He said!" the princess stammered.
"Diana?" the Batman repeated dangerously.
"Fine," Wonder Woman snarled as she hugged herself and looked away.
When Batman leaned in closer she stood at attention just like the Flash did. Batman allowed himself a small smirk before he walked away.
The Flash let out a breath and leaned against the wall. "Still don't think he has superpowers?" he snorted. "You're strong enough to break him in half and he still made you jump to attention."
"I didn't jump to attention!" Wonder Woman protested. "Besides you did the same thing!"
"I'm the fastest man alive, not the stupidest," Flash smiled. "Hey, you're shivering. You're turned on aren't you?"
"Flash do you want the word 'alive' to be removed from the 'fastest man' part?" Diana snarled.
"I get it now," the Flash smiled mischievously. "You like the bad boys don't you? You're not used to be frightened or dominated by anyone! It's thrilling. It's exciting. It turns you on, doesn't it? The only problem is that the only people who can do that to you are suave, hideously evil villains that have to be stopped at any cost. If only someone could do that to you who was a good guy… Enter the Dark Knight, with all the cool of a villain and all the admirable qualities of a hero! Instead of a guy you love to hate he's the guy you hate to love. Heck, if I were a woman, I'd be after him myself!"
"Shut up Flash!" Diana lunged for him, but the fastest man alive was too quick for her. "Don't try to get inside my head! Just don't!"
"Hey, I need to get inside your head if I'm going to find a secret identity that fits," he protested. "I want my next suggestion to be a good one you know. Some of the things I've suggested have got me bruises."
"Then wise up and quit while you're ahead," Diana threw up her hands in surrender. "The secret identity idea was stupid. There's no way I can pull it off. I've got too much self-respect. Forget about it; It's over."
"Fine," Flash shrugged as Wonder Woman walked away. "Forget about spending time with the man you love. I'm sure that Batgirl and Catwoman will be more than happy to keep him company in the meantime. They've got secret identities. I'm sure Catwoman has another identity by now. Fine. Forget about it. It was a stupid idea anyway."
Diana sighed as she leaned her head against a doorframe. "Almost made it," she whispered. She turned and looked back at the scarlet speedster. "Fine. What do you suggest?"
"Do exactly what Superman told you: Let go of your pride Diana," Flash said as seriously as he could. "Look, the reason I've been yanking your chain is because you need to loosen up and let go of your pride. You're a princess. Disguising yourself as one of the common folk isn't going to change that. I know that. Batman knows that. The only one who doesn't know it is you."
Diana bit her bottom lip and slumped in defeat.
"Look, the problem is that most women change their appearance to try to look like Wonder Woman; you've got to do the exact opposite," Flash smiled disarmingly. "I know it's not easy; even the girls from Themyscira aren't wired to do it that way, but you've got to try."
"Why do I have to be the one to humble myself?" Wonder Woman demanded. "Bruce Wayne is rich and powerful! Why do I have to be the one to lower myself? Can't we be on equal footing?"
"You could, if everybody didn't know that Princess Diana was Wonder Woman," Flash shrugged apologetically. "Look, I never said it was fair."
Back in the monitoring room Green Lantern cocked his head in alarm. "Listen," Jon Stewart hissed. "Do you hear that knocking? It's like something is trying to get into the Watchtower!"
"Diana is experiencing frustration," the Martian Manhunter explained.
Back in the other room, the Flash came up behind Wonder Woman and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Hey! Hey!" he said in alarm. "I know I asked you to ugly yourself up, but don't wreck your perfect face by bashing your head against the wall! You still have to be Wonder Woman too, y'know!"
To be a superhero one has to have a strong sense of justice. That was why Flash smiled at all the physical abuse he was taking. He knew he asked for it. He also knew that Wonder Woman could punish him even worse and right now she was doing it.
"F-flash?" the amazon princess sniffed as tears trickled out of her beautiful blue eyes. "I can't win, can I? I promised my mother that I wouldn't disgrace our people, and now I have to! I-I promised her!" Overcome with shame and grief, Diana sobbed into her hands and knelt on the floor.
"What? No! No!" Flash gasped in horror. Anyone with the slightest trace of goodness and humanity would be moved to tears by the sight of a woman as beautiful as Wonder Woman weeping, and Flash had enough goodness and humanity to be a superhero! As a matter of fact, he was a superhero! So his alarm at seeing the indestructible amazon crying was understandable. "Don't cry! It could be fun! Here's your chance to do something different! Your chance to be somebody else for a change!" Yeah right, what woman in their right mind wouldn't want to be a gorgeous Disney princess who's as strong as Superman? "It's going to be all right, Diana! It's going to be all right! We just need to find another option, that's all! We—"
Diana was on her feet and had seized him by the neck. "If you tell anyone I was crying you are a dead man!" she growled.
Flash breathed a sigh of relief. As a superhero, he was used to dealing with fear, even something as frightening as Wonder Woman giving him death threats. Dealing with a woman's tears; that was something he wasn't quite ready for.
"Okay," he smiled breezily as he pulled Diana's hand off his throat. "Let's get back to your problem."
"Flash, before you pick a new career for me you need to keep your eyes on the prize," Diana told him. "If I'm going to take a secret identity, I need to get one that takes me to Gotham City and lets me get close to Bruce Wayne. I don't think a dancer or nightclub singer qualifies."
"Wow, you'd be smokin' hot as a nightclub singer!" Flash declared.
"Flash!"
"Flash!" the scarlet speedster cried. "A-ah! He's a miracle!" he sang.
"What?"
"Oh sorry. That comes from the Queen song that played during the old 1980 Flash Gordon movie," the fastest man alive explained. "They played it in Central City at the last Flash Appreciation Day."
"Flash Appreciation Day?" Wonder Woman repeated skeptically.
"Sure, whenever too many of my archenemies get loose the mayor just holds a Flash Appreciation Day and they all show up to take me out," he smiled. "I can get a year's worth of crime fighting done in one day. How else can I spare the time to hang out here? I'm so fast; I can even get my crime fighting done early!"
"I don't know whether to be impressed or disgusted," Diana said.
"How about jealous?" Flash smirked. "I'm so fast, I can devote a lot of time to charities and public service. Instead of just catching bad guys I'm actually making Central City a better place!"
"I'm impressed," Wonder Woman admitted.
"Hey, I might not be as smart as Batman or as strong as Superman, but I gotta be doing something right to be on this team," Flash shrugged.
"Okay, I want a secret identity," Wonder Woman decided.
"Yes!" Flash cheered. "I'll get the 'Nordic blonde bimbo' outfit ready!"
"No-no-no!" Wonder Woman shuddered. "I'll take the shy librarian."
"You're sure?" Flash bargained. "Because you know you'd be totally hot as an exotic dancer."
"Flash, I want to blend in, not get arrested," Diana snorted. "Get your mind out of the gutter."
"Hm, normally I'd enlist Batman's help," Flash stroked his chin thoughtfully. "He's so good with computers that he could get you identification, a work history and a credit history in moments, but I'm guessing you want to surprise him."
"Yeah," Diana looked away and blushed.
"Okay then, let's change out of our costumes and beam back down to Earth," Flash decided.
"Where are we going?"
"Someplace more horrible than the darkest dungeons of the Legion of Doom," Flash said seriously. "We're going to the DMV."
