Well, uh, I was working on this sculpture a few days ago, for... for this... sorry, can you not look at me like that? It's making me ner... v... Oh. I know you, don't I. ... No, look, I told you, it was an accident! It wasn't supposed to say 'Pee on Carl', it was a mistake! And besides, it's not like anyone would just because a sign said it. Uh, would they? ... Ok, ok, just let me tell you what happened, yeah? I was working on my sculpture when Sam and Freddie came in. ... No, the door was unlocked. ... Yes, I am happy with that level of security. Lewb can deal with anyone who doesn't live in the building, and everyone who does live there likes me! Well, except Chuck Chambers. And that Griffin guy... Ok, that's not the point.

Sam and Freddie came in and they were fighting about something, I didn't really catch what it was. All I can tell you is that Freddie was covered in, like, some kinda dirt. Anyway, Sam was chasing him and she sorta grabbed him like... woah, hey, sorry! I was just showing you what she... Aww, no, don't fine me for it! I'm a witness! ... Ok, fine, but I don't have any money on me now. ... Look, can I finish? She grabbed him and they kinda, like, fell onto the floor in front of the couch. I couldn't really see what happened then, because I was behind it, but Freddie's laptop was balanced on the back ... I'm not really sure why, I think he'd been doing something with Carly earlier in the day. But I thought to myself, "That laptop is in danger of falling!", so I ran over to try and grab it, but, uh... I was too late to get it. And then Mrs. Benson came in looking angry, so I kinda... hid. I think I got away with that one.

Anyway, she took Freddie back across the hall. I don't think Sam realised I was there, because she'd been distracted with Freddie, but she started cleaning up the smashed bits of laptop off the floor and I think - don't tell her I said this, she wouldn't want me to know - it sounded like she was... well, not exactly crying. But she was sniffing a lot, and... I dunno. By that point I thought it was probably best that she didn't see me, so I crawled back to my room. Like a soldier, you know, look... ok, I won't show you. I just wanted to be thorough.

Anyway, that was the last I saw of either of them until today, which I thought was weird because they spend so much time in my apartment usually. Then I got back to Bushwell this morning - me and Carly had been out buying food - when I saw this bottle of Peppy Cola that was just perfectly balanced on a wall to catch the light. So naturally I had to go get my camera, and I left Carly to keep an eye on it - you know, just in case. Then I bumped into Sam in the lobby, she was having an argument with Lewbert, and she had this bag with her from the Pear Store. Now, all I wanted was to see what she had, because it's not often you see Sam with technology, but... um... Do you know the guys in the fire department? ... Yeah, I'm that Spencer. I don't know how it happened, but whatever it was caught on fire. I was trying to put it out, but somehow it kinda... spread.

Then just like that the lobby's burning. Lewbert vanished before I could even see him move, and at some point Freddie'd come down as well. So I'm there with Sam and Freddie, and the lobby's on fire and there's this smoke just getting everywhere. Freddie was coughing real bad and he sort of passed out, and Sam had to pretty much carry him outta there while I tried to find a fire extinguisher. Actually, I think you should check that lobby because I don't think there was actually one in there at all. And I ended up ruining my favourite shirt too, look! But yeah, the point is, it was an accident. Completely an accident. Ask anybody.

Ok, not Chuck, he's a jerk, but anyone else.