Everybody Loves Tsuna
A Little Taste of Hell
Tsuna didn't talk to Reborn for the entire time he was off school, he instead focused on other, more productive things.
Like slamming his head against a nearby wall, or avoiding Bianchi, who over the last few days had slowly started to really scare him. Offering to iron all of his clothes was fine, taking strands of hair she found on them was not. Stating that he was developing a deadly virus on the corners of his mouth was fine, biting his lower lip and kissing his cheeks was not.
Sneaking into his bed one night, biting his chest to the point where in turned purple and giving a frontal massage was DEFINITLEY not okay.
Tsuna had resorted to sleeping in his closet, and even then she was waiting every morning in the kitchen, blowing him kisses and touching his knee during every meal time together.
He would never had believed it, but he was thankful when he could go back to school. He got up especially early, and even early morning dreariness could not rid him of the fact that he was a walking aphrodisiac, and every woman he surrounded himself with was going to act like Bianchi.
When he finally released that Kyoko was of the same gender as Binachi, he got dressed and was out of the house faster than you could say "what did I do to deserve this".
His stomach growled as he walked to school, he rubbed his arms as the bitter Friday air cut into him. It was colder than Monday, and with the prospect of Bianchi waiting on the kitchen table with a poison pie in one hand and a glass of vodka in the other, he decided to skip breakfast.
"As if life wasn't tough enough as it is…" he thought aloud.
He realised that he hadn't actually discussed with Reborn in detail what the bullet could do, and in all honesty he preferred if it remained a mystery. Like all of the Vongola weapons, he reckoned it would take a day for things to return to normal, then he could go back to feeling miserable about the flaws with his regular life.
If he had known the truth, then he would have probably booked the first flight to Kenya and left within the hour.
Hunger and cold getting the better of him, Tsuna decided that he would take the quicker way to school which meant cutting a few corners and going past the shops, where maybe he could spent the money he would have lost yesterday that those bullies had kindly gathered for him.
He still couldn't quite get his head around that bit.
"Well, at least I'll have a quiet moment to myself, and not have to put up with any nonsense from-" his train of thought-to-speak was broken when he ended being sent into a nearby box of vegetables.
"Sprinting to the EXTREME!" Sasagawa yelled out.
He then looked to see the Vongola heir covered head to toe in the broken shards of peppers. He immediately stopped his chant and began to pick Tsuna up, making sure to brush off any peppers that were coated over his body.
"You okay Sawada? That was a nasty fall" Sasagawa asked.
"Don't look into his eyes, if you do, then you'll end up bench-pressing your way to school" Tsuna's brain told him, he rapidly threw aside what remained of what could have been someone's Mexican dinner and decided to run the rest of the way to school.
"Sorry Sasagawa! I've got a…English test first thing, so I'm going to have to run-"
When he mentioned the word "run", Sasagawa was already at his side spiriting the exact same speed with no sign of difficulty whatsoever. He seemed overly happy today, yet much calmer than his usual exercise-obsessed self.
"Cool! Do you mind if we run together? I'll go slow if you want"
Tsuna stopped dead in his tracks, if he had caught one of those peppers in his mouth now would be the time where he spat it out in sheer shock. Sasagawa? Slow? Did those words even fit together? Wasn't there some divine will that Sasagawa and slow should never even enter this frame of reality?
"I don't mind walking, I've already done fifty laps, if your tired then I'm happy to take it easy"
Tsuna spat an imaginary pepper out of his mouth.
The walk was…uncomfortable. Tsuna wasn't used to seeing this side of Sasagawa, he was looking around at all the shops and hadn't mentioned the word extreme for twenty minutes. Tsuna kept pressing his palm to his own forehead, making sure that he wasn't coming down with something, because this was just scary.
"Sorry to hear about Monday, Kyoko doesn't mind about the whole incidence" the boxer explained.
"G-Glad to hear it…hey Sasagawa-san, why aren't you…you know" Tsuna asked awkwardly.
"What? Not going overboard?" he asked seriously.
"Y-Yeah"
"Hmm…I wanted to admire things form the slow side for once" he said.
They remained in silence until they reached the school, Tsuna entered the building hastily while Sasagawa went towards the boxing club, preparing himself for his fight. Before he entered, he took a pepper form out of his pocket and began to eat it.
When the first class of the day had finally started, Tsuna had finally gotten over the fact that Sasagawa was acting like…the anti-Sasagawa, and tried to focus on some kind of work. He began to scribble down random phrases that his teacher began to write down on the board, when he suddenly felt something prodding his leg.
He turned to see the Namimori's star cheerleader, Yuki Ayakushi, passing him a note. He looked around the room, looking for someone she had meant to give it to, but after three more prods he realized that it was for him. He hesitantly took from her hand and unravelled the paper.
She giggled when Tsuna's face lit up like a Christmas tree, he immediately stuffed the note under his desk and tried to focus on anything except the girl next to him. This was the girl who had made an entire chant that insulted him when he had accidentally ended up as a reserve for the Namimori football game, and unfortunately cost them the game.
He reckoned she pretty much despised him, so when she wrote a note requesting him to…well, it was a real a shock to the system.
Tsuna may have underestimated just how strong that bullet was…
The following two hours were uncomfortable to say the least, as Tsuna had begun to notice that all the girls in his class were staring at him, some giggling and some with faint blushes on their cheeks. Some girls he hadn't even talked to in his life were making silent flirtations with him. He began to flinch every time he heard his name mentioned.
Being him, he had no godly idea how to deal with something like this.
He didn't even hear he bell that signalled break, and only noticed when people began to leave their seats. Only about seven people left the classroom, and all of them were male. He was currently sitting in an empty classroom with twenty plus females, with no teacher to stand in as damage control.
Standing up immediately, he made a break for the door, trying to act as calm and causal as a something who had a porcupine shoved down their trousers.
"Hey Sawada!" one girl, the national swimming champion spoke, out standing between him and the door.
"I'm going to get some extra practise done in the indoor swimming pool, fancy being my life guard?" she asked, flickering her eyelashes.
"Uh…t-that's a nice offer but-"
"Never mind her Sawada, I've got a basketball game in a couple of days, and I need a partner to help build my stamina" another asked, appearing by his side.
"S-S-S-S-S-S-Stamina?" Tsuna choked.
"Ignore the sports freaks, the library is almost always quiet this time of day, you could help me write my conclusion on the intimate nature of feral cats" another asked, grabbing him arm.
"Intimate? C-Cats?" Tsuna spluttered.
"Who wants to work today? We could go to the room and share my lunch, I've got grapes and other fruits, I'll feed you like a Roman Emperor" a fourth insisted, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"I-I-I-I don't know anything about Roman Emperors!" Tsuna begged.
"We could go back to my place and make out" a final one asked, placing herself between all other girls, undoing the first two buttons on the Vongola's shirt.
Blood began to slowly trickle out of Tsuna's nose. He then realised all the remaining girls had trapped him in some kind of circle, each of them getting closer. He was like a caged animal. A caged animal surrounded by over two dozen hormonally supercharged females ready to strip his virginity from him on a moment's notice.
"HELP ME!" Tsuna wailed as he was driven to the floor.
The following few seconds were a blur to Tsuna, he heard screams of joy as he felt his shirt torn open and teeth start nibbling on his neck, as well strong kisses all over his face. There had been a time when he had wondered what it would have felt like to be crushed underneath a tidal wave of physical female affection.
He now knew that it was probably the most frightening thing he would ever experience.
Suddenly he felt something catch his hand and pull him out of the maelstrom of female anatomy. Eventually his body was pulled out, and he could finally make out his sightings, than pressed-up faces and cleavage. His savour turned to be the silver-haired bomber known as Gokudera Hayato.
"G-Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna stammered, one of the girls still clinging onto his belt like a piranha out of water.
"Let's go Tenth!" the Storm Guardian exclaimed.
His grip like a vice, Gokudera pulled Tsuna out of the sexually-active whirlpool and dragged him out of the classroom. Unfortunately, the mass of females left behind without their own plaything weren't going to stand idly by.
"He's stealing my Sawada!" one yelled.
"Take him down!" another cried.
"And drag Sawada back by the rim of his underwear!"
Like a shark that caught a scent of blood, like a hound with the prey in it's sight, like a wolf chasing down it's dinner; the female population of Class B3 burst out like a stampede and began to hunt down their beloved Sawada.
"Hang in there Tenth! We can lose around the next corner!" Gokudera declared.
"Lose who?" Tsuna yelled.
He then made the mistake of turning around, and seeing the growing frenzy of school girls that were rapidly gaining ground. Their faces were demonic, their screams like harpies, nails ready to tear through his clothes and bear his children.
Fangirls.
Now Tsuna knew why Hibari kept his distance.
"We're never going to outrun them!" Tsuna wailed.
"Fear not Tenth! As they haven't block the east corridor we'll be fine!" Gokudera reassured, holding his arm so tight it was starting to go pale.
As they zipped around the final lap of their race for freedom, and virginity, the Storm Guardian stopped in his tracks, and let out several Italian curse words. Twenty girls stood there, arms crossed, forming an impenetrable wall with hockey sticks at their sides. The east corridor was blocked, and blocked by the strongest group of people in Namimori.
The Women's Hockey Team.
"There he is!" the hockey captain howled, the girls' eyes flashed with something resembling a primal lust and began to charge forward like a kamikaze torpedo.
"REVERSE DIRECTION!" Gokudera yelled, and grabbed Tsuna by the shirt, literally dragging him at such high speed he was above ground.
Eventually, the Hockey Team and Class b3 met up, but there was no sign of their precious Sawada anywhere, not even the Italian. They had both vanished, which seemed impossible as it was a singly winding corridor. Almost telepathically, the girls formed an idea and began to divide into groups.
"Split and search! Break into every boy's bathroom you can find!" the leaders ordered.
With a cry that resembled something the Nazis would say, the girls split off, hungry for love and that piece of anatomy that lay in Tsuna's trousers. At this point, they were probably ready to kill people for it. Which was confirmed later on the ten-o'clock news the following evening when the Hockey Team killed a boy who had made a cruel remark about Sawada's social standing.
They were let go on probation, as there was nothing left of the boy to use as evidence, considering he had been pummelled to the point where his existence was forgotten from time.
"I'm going to die…I am going to die" Tsuna repeated, almost like metronome.
"Relax Tenth, they won't find us in here" Gokudera reassured.
"It's a broom closest!"
"Exactly! It's pure genius! This will be the last place they look"
Tsuna didn't even retort, knowing that they would eventually start ripping up the foundations of the school looking for him. He had thought the effects of the bullet would just make girls act a little frisky around him. Hell, he was slightly hoping Kyoko would like him that much more. Unfortunately, he hadn't counted on the fact that the bullet was going to turn every girl he met into a potential rapist.
"Reborn has finally done it, he's finally going to get me killed! I think I preferred fighting Xanxus" he sobbed.
Things could not get any worse.
"Hey, no worries Tenth! As your right hand man I'll blow all those girls to Kingdom Come if I have to" Gokudera grinned, then his expression changed to a…serious one.
"Tenth…" he said, hesitating with his words.
"Huh? What is it?" Tsuna asked.
His hands were then on his shoulder and he was staring at him in such a way that made him feel very uncomfortable. Gokudera was shaking, as if was going to reveal some great big secret to the world, either that or he really had bad stomach ache.
"We've known each other for a a long time, right?"
"…Right"
"And in that time I've always been your right-hand man, stood beside you when the world turned against you! And you know I would do it a thousand times!"
"…Yeah"
"Well…something's been bugging me lately, I'm not sure what it was…but then this morning it just clicked, my heart was trying to tell me something I had questioned all my life!"
"…Okay"
"Tenth…I…I have to get this off my chest, I can no longer ignore my heart!"
"…Gokudera, you're starting to scare me a little" Tsuna said, backing up as far as he could. Which turned out to be a couple of inches because they were in a very small brook closet.
"Tenth…I have always been proud of being your right-hand man…but now I want to be the right part of your heart!" Gokudera declared, tightening his grip on his shoulders.
"…Okay, Gokudera I think the coast is clear now, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to run out of this closest and-" Tsuna didn't get far because his Storm Guardian refused to move.
"Tenth…I…I…I…I LOVE YOU!" he shouted, really loudly.
Tsuna's blood went ice cold. He felt like dying then and there. He didn't have any preference to Heaven or Hell, because anywhere was better then here, in this small broom closet. He was in a small broom closet, with his friend, his male friend, who had just declared his love for him.
He was in a SMALL broom closest.
…Oh god.
