Disclaimer: I do not own -man. If I did, none of these characters would have suffered like they did in canon, which would have been a crying shame. Clearly, I'm far too soft :P
…
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Lavi grins. "Of course not," he says, flipping open the envelope and taking out the folded pages inside. Even from where Allen is standing, he can see the alcohol stains. "To That Brat Koumi, Chief of whatever, blah blah…I'm forced to write to you because my idiot apprentice is crazy. I'm sick of taking care of the voices in his head –"
"Just one voice!" Allen says, incensed.
Lavi's face is one of pure triumph. "…who are telling him to kill evil demons."
Neah's laughing at him. Allen can hear it echoing around his skull, like the annoying buzz that came with standing too close to a wasp's nest.
"That was a misunderstanding," Allen says. "Once."
Lavi unfolds the second piece of paper, because of course there's a second piece of paper. "This is all the people you've tried to kill," he says, showing Allen the hand-drawn chart. Allen is almost impressed. It's colour-coded and everything; Cross must have been really drunk, to put this much effort into something. "In the green. And you've got three confirmed kills, which I find interesting."
"Is this an attempt at blackmail?" Allen says, folding his arms across his chest.
"No!" Lavi says, tucking the papers out of sight before Allen can grab them. "I just found this piece of interesting news that pertained to the new intern, and I decided to share. Now, if you decide to do me a few…favours, after this, well. That's totally unrelated."
Allen's smile is sweet. "Is it?" he says, holding up his hands in a sign of peace. "Well. That sounds reasonable, friend."
"I'm so glad you said that," Lavi says. "Come on, then. Let me introduce you to the other…inmates, shall we say. They're all very excited to meet you."
Allen freezes, though he keeps his smile in place through sheer force of will. How many people know that he's lying? Damn, damn, damn, this is exactly the sort of situation he's been trying to avoid. Lavi knowing is bad enough, especially since he has proof, but more witnesses? More witnesses who are also insane?
Neah is no help. Kill them, he suggests, like it's a viable option. Allen ignores him, because ignoring Neah is usually for the best, unless he's talking about demons. That's the only time Allen has ever heard him be serious, and that's saying something, considering he never shuts up anything else.
"Don't worry," Lavi says in a very worrying tone of voice. "They're all lovely people. Well fed, well adjusted. A few body counts here and there, but hey, you can't exactly judge, now, can you?"
Allen…is not amused. "We're in the middle of a riot," he says, pointing to where the scientists have gathered together to try and break down the door. Allen assumes that Koumi has taken the sensible precaution of barricading the other side, because they're going at it full-force with a battering ram with no visible result. "In case you haven't noticed."
"The frenzied screaming does give it away a bit," Lavi says. "But don't worry, that's not important. Besides, the cells – oops, I mean, rooms – are down here, so we don't need to go upstairs. Isn't that great?"
Allen refuses to show any sort of reaction, even though the thought of having narrowly escaped having to be locked underground for an indefinite period of time makes him want to hurl. Seriously, what had his Master been thinking? Alcohol has clearly rotted his brain, that's all Allen can think of, because even his brief moments of sobriety are peppered with crazy ideas. Like locking Allen up in a mental institution, when he certainly isn't crazy. A criminal, yes, he'll accept, but crazy? That's almost insulting.
Besides, even if he is crazy (and that's a big if) he's offended at the implication that he can't hide it well enough to decent society. Cross should know him better than that.
But that isn't the point. Lavi is still looking at him for an answer.
"That's wonderful," Allen gushes, all sparkles and sunshine. C'mon, you can fake anything, Walker. "I can't wait to meet them."
"Don't worry," Lavi says. "They'll be so excited to meet you. I've told them all about the new intern – the last one didn't last too long, they were so disappointed."
Allen tries not to flatten out his voice, but it's hard. "I've heard stories."
"These goons exaggerate things," Lavi says with a dismissive wave of his hand, walking further into the darkness like a Bong villain. He's certainly got the look for it. Also, he's kind of offended on behalf of everyone he's already met that Lavi's calling them "goons" – "grunts" he would have accepted, considering how painfully overworked and underpaid they were, but "goons"? Johnny had been perfectly coh – had been almost coherent. "There was barely any brain damage. He was let go for personal reasons."
"Yeah, PTSD," Allen says.
"Don't be silly," Lavi says. "If that was cited as a reason, they'd have never let him go."
This place is a bad place, Neah says. I say we burn it to the ground and then make a run for it. C'mon, kid, it'll be so easy…
Not talking to you not talking to you not talking to you, Allen thinks.
Walking to the corner of the room is surprisingly easy, considering that everyone has gathered in a large mass of seething rage and anger in the centre of the room, leaving the edges clear to be traversed. They're also in the 'night' section of the lab, so the lights don't work. Not that the lights in the normal section of the lab are working all too wonderfully at the moment – Allen thinks that the problems have something to do with the way some of the scientists are climbing ladders to unscrew the bulbs and throw them at the door, but he isn't going to tell them that.
"This way," Lavi says, ducking instinctively as a lightbulb goes horribly off-course and smashes into the doorframe just to the side of his head. "And, um. Try not to get hit by any flying projectiles."
"How often does this happen?" Allen says, trying not to sound uneasy. Maybe he would have been safer in a cell – oh, sorry, room – after all.
"Every few months," Lavi says. "Depends on whether the Chief's been making things truly unbearable. One time, when he was trying to figure out who kept on stealing his stash of chocolate, he radiated it –"
"He did what?"
"Harmless! Totally non-lethal! Anyway, so he radiated it, and then got really pissed when half the guys down here started upchucking their guts the next day, and –"
Allen has a headache. "How long have you…" think, think, diplomacy don't fail me now "…been here?"
Oh, genius, Neah says.
Shut up, Allen thinks.
"A while," Lavi says, which tells Allen nothing. "Okay, so just…don't step on that, just jump – jumping usually works. There's some really – well, unstable – things in these boxes, and –"
Allen steps on a rubber-duck and winces at the ear-splitting squeak that it produces. Lavi lets out a packed whoosh of breath and whirls around, rubber mallet appearing from out of nowhere to almost brain Allen. It's a good thing Allen's had enough time figuring out when something's going to hit him (he's been on the run from more than a few angry mobs in his lifetime, thank you Cross), or that would have smashed into his head and possibly ruptured his brain. Also, killed him. There are cracks in the wall. Well, more cracks then there had been before. Allen is really, really glad he's not stuck down here 24/7 – though considering the increasingly vocal threats of death and dismemberment coming from the main workspace, maybe he didn't put enough thought into this "pretending to be an intern" thing.
The hallway opens up, and it's almost blinding, the amount of light that filters through the area. There are windows – actual windows, hello backup emergency escape – locked tight around the upper levels of the room, spreading out so that he can see they level with the grass. They'd be tricky to get to without some sort of ladder, but Allen thinks he can balance some of the boxes of unstable material and climb up on those –
Lavi is still walking. Allen hurries to catch up, and he's so thankful for the unexpected mode of escape that he almost doesn't notice the doors.
There are – too many to count. They trail along a long wall at even distances, reminding Allen uncomfortably of a prison. Not that he's ever been to a prison. Under his own name, anyway. The downside to having a facial scar and white hair – being easily recognisable in a lineup.
The door all have numbers on them, set into exposed brick and looking ominous as anything. At least there aren't any visible bars anywhere he can see.
"Come on, we'll go through my room," Lavi says, taking Allen down the hallway to the door marker '21'. "Out back is the common room. It's a lot more comfortable than anything those poor schmucks outside have to deal with, and we have a coffee maker that isn't decaf. They tried to steal it from us, but Lenalee drop-kicked one of them and Yuu glared at the other one and – well, let's just say they didn't try anything again. We are running low on beans, though, so we might need to appeal to Koumi soon."
"Is this door supposed to be unlocked?" Allen says.
Lavi laughs at him, kneeling down and poking at it at the rather impressive looking lock that's been fastened to the front door. Allen thinks he could open it, but he isn't sure how long it would take him. He notes the lack of overly complicated locks on any of the other doors.
"I have a key," Lavi says, and opens the door.
The room beyond is almost impressive in how little space there is. Even considering the limited working-space to begin with, every single nook and cranny has been stuffed with a wide variety of books. Allen reads Pharmacy Through the Ages (Volume VI), Collecting Buttons for Beginners, and The Socioeconomic Implications of WWI before his eyes begin to glaze over at the sheer amount of information overload. He can't even see a bed, that's how far gone Lavi is in this madness.
"Nice room," Allen says, stepping inside and watching with sharp eyes as Lavi closes the door behind him. Maybe following someone who has openly admitted to be psychologically disturbed isn't the best life-choice Allen has ever made, but he's confident in his ability to take care of himself. He can take Lavi. Probably. That hammer wouldn't be fun to go against, though, considering Allen doesn't have any weapons available to him – other than the books, of course. Some of them look heavy enough to do some serious damage. Though he suspects that Lavi would never forgive him if he got blood on the collection.
"Thank you!" Lavi says, bouncing through the stacks of precarious piles with practiced ease. "There's a door back here – oh, mind the atlas collection, you don't want that falling on top of you – here it is!"
His back is turned, Neah urges.
Allen's face ticks, though he tries not to react, even if Lavi can't see him. Not a chance.
It would be so easy, Neah says, almost mournfully.
Is he a demon?
Why do you always do this to me? Neah says. Why do you always ask that question? Is it a demon? Every time, you ask this question, and –
Is he?
A sullen silence revibrates around his mind. Allen tries not to think about how empty his head feels without Neah's constant chattering about murderous plans and threats of violence.
…no.
Then I'm not going to kill him.
Neah huffs. But he's RIGHT THERE…
"I'm not going to kill him," Allen growls.
"That's the spirit!" Lavi says, and then he's opened a door in the back and vanished before Allen can properly process that.
Allen stands there for a long few seconds, blinking. Then he follows Lavi out into the common room.
It stretches out for as long as the doorways do, though the area is significantly wider, and there's actual couches with people on them. The light isn't natural; there are long beams of exposed fluorescent panelling, one of which is blinking irritatingly. Lavi is already half-way across the room and he's going towards the only people Allen can see. Two of them, actually. Male and female, close to his age, older by a few years. Female: open posture, leg crossed over knee, face smiling and relaxed. Male: scowl as big as his face, looks ready to kill anyone who goes within three feet of his long, long hair.
"Lenalee! Yuu!"
"What have I told you, stupid rabbit!"
"Lavi, please stop antagonising him."
Lavi grins. "Come and see what I found," he says, flourishing his hands in Allen's general direction. "The new intern. Isn't that great?"
Eyes up, shoulders back, smile out.
Showtime.
…
A/N: I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED OR FAVOURITED OR FOLLOWED! Thank you so much to jy24, IncredibleIdiosyncrasies, waterlit, 1over7 and Silence in the Rain for reviewing :)
Any suggestions for other exorcists in this story would be welcome! …I'm having a bit of trouble choosing, haha. This is a lot of fun to write, and I hope you'll stick around for more :)
See you next week!
Mneme
