The mail tucked tightly beneath his chin, Ray juggled the two bags of groceries under his left arm while digging deep in his right pocket for his apartment key. One of these days he was going to remember to take it out of his pocket before he even got out of the car. The sweaty gallon of milk slipped from his fingers and he pinned it to the door with his knee.
"Fuck… I need more arms." He could hear Diefenbaker whining behind the locked door as he let the milk slide gradually to the floor with assistance from his shin. "Hold on Dief, I'm trying to get in."
Ray realized he must be quite the sight. Pressed up against a locked door, juggling too many articles and talking to a deaf wolf. He heard the wolf bark in response and he let out another curse as one of the bags began to slip from his grasp. A few pieces of mail drifted to the floor when he shifted the bags in his arms.
"You look like you could use a little help, Mr. Kowalski." A small voice from behind startled Ray and the rest of the mail fluttered to the floor. The petite landlady that Fraser was so fond of bent over to pick up the scattered mail. "I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you. The mailman just dropped off a few more pieces of mail and I thought I would bring it on up. I told him you were home and could start leaving it in your box again."
Ray finally succeeded in locating the key in his pocket and worked it into the lock as Mrs. Henderson picked up the gallon of milk and took one of the bags of groceries from his grasp. He stared at her bewildered.
"How do you do that? I'm twice your size and I couldn't handle all that without dropping anything."
"I'm a mother, dear," she replied with a bright smile. "I'm used to juggling a lot of things at once." No wonder all the tenants loved her.
Ray smiled fondly at her and pushed the door open wide to allow her entrance into his home. Diefenbaker came around the door, nudging Ray in the knee with his snout and whined again.
"Is the counter ok for these?" She asked as she made her way towards the kitchen, greeting Diefenbaker along the way.
"Yeah that's fine. Thanks for the help and for keeping our mail for us while we were gone. It's nice to get away but it's always good to come back home."
"Mosquitos that bad up there, huh?" She laughed and swatted at his arm playfully. "Oh it was my pleasure. I was pleased when Constable Fraser moved in here. The other tenants have expressed their appreciation as well. It seems everyone sleeps better at night knowing that there are police officers that live close by and aren't too bothered to help out when the occasional emergency arises. I can't thank you enough for your help when we had that severe storm a month ago with threats of tornados."
Ray blushed, "Oh, it was nothing…"
"It wasn't nothing. It would have taken me too long by myself to alert all the elderly residents and get them to the tornado shelter. But you and Constable Fraser were right there to help me." She patted his arm in appreciation. "Anything you boys ever need, you just let me know."
Ray thanked her again for her assistance and accepted the mail she was still holding in her hand. "Thanks, I will let Ben know."
"Oh…" she turned towards him when she got to the doorway. "I almost forgot. We had our annual inspections while you two were gone on vacation. You boys passed with flying colors, not that that news surprised me."
Ray blushed again and rubbed a hand over his chin. "Yeah, Ben's a neat freak."
"Well, let me get out of your hair. You've got groceries to unpack and mail to sort. Give the Constable my regards."
Ray thanked Mrs. Henderson again for the help and closed the door behind her. Dief whined again and pushed his nose into Ray's thigh.
"What is with you today? I didn't buy any doughnuts and you're not getting my ice cream bars either." The wolf let out a low growl and went and sat by his water bowl. "Don't even start with the attitude, Dief. Do you remember what happened when you swiped the box of ice cream bars off the counter the last time?" Ray gave the wolf a stern look. "You spent three days at the vet's office and I had to scrub carpets. We are not taking that route again." Dief barked again to get Ray's attention as he put the remainder of groceries away. "I said 'no'. I'm with Fraser on the 'no more ice cream' rule. You think you're doing something nice for the deaf wolf by giving him a tiny bite of your ice cream sandwich and you repay me by swiping the entire box and doing a number on the carpets. You pay and you pay and you pay."
Dief barked again and pulled on Ray's pant leg.
"Hey… knock it off." He tried pushing Dief's head away from his leg and cursed when a tooth ripped a small hole in his jeans. "We use manners in this house, Diefenbaker."
Dief momentarily let go and cocked his head at Ray as if to say, "Really?" He grabbed ahold of Ray's jeans again and started tugging, a low growl emitting from his throat.
"God, what is wrong with you? Only one person is allowed to be crabby today and Fraser already got dibs on that." Ray was losing his balance and held onto the side of the counter for support as Diefenbaker continued to pull on his pant leg.
The wolf finally let go of Ray's jeans and pushed his water bowl towards the blond.
"Well, why didn't you just say so? God, there's no reason to try and rip my leg off." He filled the bowl with water and set it on the floor. Dief lapped it up greedily. Ray rubbed him behind the ears and gathered the mail up into his hands, retreating to the living room. He tossed the junk mail into the trash by the desk and placed the phone, electric and water bills in a pile to pay later. He thumbed through the remainder of the mail, a new phone directory, a letter from his mom, bank statements, and two crisp white envelopes from the State of Illinois parole board. One was addressed to himself, the other Fraser. Ray dropped the remaining pieces of mail onto the desktop and sat down heavily on the arm of the couch.
"No… no, no, no. God, tell me this isn't what I think it is." Panic set in as Ray fumbled through the desk drawer in search of Fraser's letter opener. He finally gave up and used his finger to rip open the envelope addressed to himself. He prayed it was a letter informing him of the denial of parole for Jimmy Akers. There was no way the state was going to let that monster out of prison after everything he had done to Fraser and himself, at least Ray prayed they wouldn't.
He thought back to the trial and the intense amounts of stress it had put on Fraser, not only having to relive the nightmare, but having to do it so publicly. With the help of an excellent counselor, they'd both managed to move on. Ray knew if he had shown up for Jimmy's sentencing, he probably would have killed the man for what he did to Fraser. And Fraser had not been ready to face him either. The hurt was still too deep and raw. Jimmy Akers got what he deserved, that's all either man cared about.
Ray took a deep breath and pulled the folded letter out of the envelope. He read the contents and immediately wanted to punch something. Jimmy Akers was out of prison. Free to come and go as he pleased, his only restriction was checking in with a parole officer and keeping a reasonable amount of distance between himself and Fraser.
"Un-fucking believable!" he yelled at the letter in his hand. There had to be some mistake. Surely Welsh knew about this. 'Why the hell didn't he say anything?' Maybe he didn't know and only the victims of the crime were informed. Maybe he was drowning in paperwork – who knew? Ray stared at the unopened letter in his other hand. The one addressed to his partner. Fraser couldn't know, not now, not until he came home from his assignment and they could face it together.
Ray jumped and nearly fell off the arm of the couch when the phone rang and was anxious when he heard Fraser's voice on the opposite end.
On the other side of the phone, Fraser braced himself. "Ray," he said, dreading the tirade which was sure to follow, "I am going to be a few hours yet."
"What?" Ray asked in disbelief. "Why? I thought you just had to fill out those vacation forms again."
"Well, I had to do that yes, but Inspector Thatcher is taking her own vacation, day after tomorrow for a few weeks and wants to take the rest of today to inform me of a few things that need to be taken care of while she is away along with some paperwork that will need to be completed as well." Fraser explained into the phone, knowing Ray was going to be upset.
"Fraser, I hate that woman. She always dumps her crap in your lap."
"Whether you like her or not, she is still my superior officer and I have to do what she says."
"Or what?" Ray asked defiantly.
"I think you know the answer to that, Ray."
"Right," Ray said defeated. "Back to Canada you go. Still, she's a bitch and I don't like her."
"You are entitled to your opinion."
"Damn right I am." Ray hung his head. It wasn't fair to take his anger out on his partner. He needed to hit the gym and find the toughest punching bag this side of the Chicago skyline. Dief came in from the kitchen and turned circles in front of Ray. "Look, I'm sorry. You know she pushes my buttons," Ray apologized. "I swear she does it on purpose." Dief whimpered again and turned another circle. "Frase, Dief's crossing his legs here. I'm going to have to go. I'll uh, I'll see you when you get home."
Ray ended the call and dropped his cell phone on the couch. He stared again at the unopened letter in his hand. He made the hasty decision to hide the letter for the time being. Taking both letters he went over to the bookshelf built into the wall.
'No, bad idea,' he told himself. Fraser was always thumbing through the books on the shelf, even his car mechanics books.
"You never know, Ray. One day we might be in a bind and I may need to know how to fix something on your car. Always best to be prepared." Ray smiled fondly at the memory of Fraser spending an entire evening on the couch studying his mechanical books on cars.
Ray shook his head at the thought of a greasy Fraser under the hood of his car. 'Now how sexy would that be?' He shuddered and pushed the racy thoughts to the back of his head, managing to keep them wrangled there until a more appropriate time.
Bringing himself back to the task at hand, he needed a place Fraser would never look. "Think Kowalski… think." Going to his bedroom closet, he pulled out his gym bag. He needed it to go the gym anyway. Stuffing the letters under his boxing gloves and spare towel, he zipped it closed and threw it over his shoulder. He needed to hit something… now.
The ringing of his cell phone stopped him in his tracks as he walked by the couch. He fished the phone from behind the cushions and checked the caller ID. He wasn't really in the mood to speak with anyone at the moment and groaned when he saw Stella's name appear on the display. She rarely called him unless it had to do with one of his cases, so he figured it had to be important.
"Hey Stella, I'm in a bit of a hurry and about to walk out the door. Make it quick." He didn't intend to come across short with his ex-wife. Their relationship had improved considerably since he and Fraser had gotten together and she could now tolerate being in the same room with him without worrying about Ray throwing himself at her.
"I'm sorry, Ray. I was just calling to check…" she paused and the silence grew before she continued. "To check how you were doing."
"I'm fine. Ben and I got back yesterday from a much needed vacation." He shifted his gym bag to his other shoulder and followed Diefenbaker towards the door. "I'm on my way out the door at the moment."
"Ray, I… uh heard that Jimmy was out of jail." She continued when she heard Ray curse through the connection. "I tried calling you when I found out."
Ray dropped his bag to the floor. "You knew?"
"I had just found out myself a few days ago," she explained quickly.
"Well, I never got a phone call, Stella," Ray was instantly irritated. "I got a letter in the mail instead."
"Do you know how hard it is to locate you in the frozen north?" She defended herself. "Look, I hate him just as much as you do. But there isn't anything we can do about it."
"How could they let him out? Stella, how could they release him after just a year?"
"I don't know. It was some sort of mix up, but it's done and can't be changed." Stella twirled her hair around her fingers nervously. "Ray, how is Ben taking the news?"
Ray froze. How was he going to convince Stella not to mention this to Fraser until he returned from his assignment? "I haven't told him yet. Stella, you gotta do me a huge favor and not mention anything to him."
"Ray, he has a right to know."
"I know, I know… just not yet. As long as Jimmy is staying out of trouble, I don't want Ben to know until I can be here and we can face it together. Please, I'm begging you. Just let me wait until I get home to tell him. Does anyone else know?" Ray was suddenly worried about the number of people that would already know about Jimmy's release accidently saying something to Fraser.
"Not that I'm aware of. At least no one that Ben will come into contact with on a regular basis. I did check with his parole officer and he is adhering to the limits of his parole."
"As long as he leaves us alone, I don't care." Ray sighed with relief.
"Jimmy's been bad news for a long time, Ray. I'm not proud of it, but I was glad when he went back to jail. I hated what he put you and Ben through. He got what he deserved. I don't understand myself why he was released." Stella had her own history with Jimmy Akers, of which Ray only knew the parts she told him. "How are you guys doing?"
"We are good. Ben's a little worked up about me leaving for a few weeks, though." He shifted the phone to his other ear. "You'll keep an eye on him for me, won't you?"
"I don't think he will think too highly of that idea. You know how self-sufficient he is."
"I'm not asking you to have him over for dinner or anything. Just keep a distant eye on him. I would really appreciate it, Stell."
"That I can try to do for you. You be careful, Ray," she added sincerely.
"I will. Piece of cake. Be back in a few weeks. Hopefully, in the meantime, Jimmy doesn't get any bright ideas."
"If he knows what's good for him, he will stay curled up in his own little hole. Take care and I will see you when you get back." She ended the call and Ray was more determined to hit a punching bag. That was all he needed was someone else knowing about Jimmy being out. But he trusted Stella and knew she would keep the news to herself.
Diefenbaker turned a few more circles in front of Ray. "Alright, I'm sorry. I had to take that call. Listen, Dief… you can't mention anything to Ben either. I know you two have…" he twirled his hands in the air looking for the right expression. "… conversations and what not… but he just can't know yet. You understand, right?" Dief yipped in agreement and Ray led him outside to do his business. He tossed his bag in the car while he waited for the wolf. Dief came back from the bushes and bolted up the stairs to the apartment.
"Hey, you could wait for me you know." Ray caught his breath as he met Diefenbaker at the door to the apartment. He barely had the door opened before Dief bolted for his water bowl. "No wonder you have to go out all the time. You keep drinking water like that, you're going to float away."
Ray bent over to scratch the wolf behind the ears and Dief snapped at him, biting him across his knuckles.
Startled, Ray stumbled several steps back and stared in shock at the wolf. "What the fuck, Dief?" Dief's bite barely broke the skin but the area was quickly starting to bruise. It was more of a pinch than an actual bite, yet it still scared Ray. Dief whined in response and dropped his head. He took tentative steps towards Ray as the blond fought the urge to back further out of the kitchen. He had never been scared of Diefenbaker before. Dief whined and dropped to the floor in front of Ray and began licking his pant leg. Shaking, Ray summoned up the courage to let Dief sniff his trembling hand. The wolf looked at Ray's face and began licking the broken skin.
"You don't bite me again and I don't tell Ben. But one more outburst and I spill like a waterfall. Agreed?" The wolf whined and Ray brushed an unsure hand down his back. His fur was soft under his fingertips and Ray resisted the urge to nuzzle Dief's neck like he did on occasion. He wasn't sure what his temperament was and he certainly didn't want to have to cover up a bite mark to the face. Something was off with the wolf today and he was certainly no expert. Maybe Ben would have a better understanding after observing him when he got home. Ray wasn't about to tell Fraser his wolf bit him, not yet anyway.
He dug through a drawer in the bathroom and found some gauze to wrap his hand. He could just tell Fraser he bruised it at the gym. And that wouldn't be a total lie. He always came home with bruises to his hands when he went sparring. There would just be a wolf bite underlying those bruises this time. Ray cracked his neck stretched his shoulders. He had some aggression of his own to work out.
When he finally arrived home, it was two hours later than Fraser anticipating. He rolled his left shoulder forward and backward trying to work it loose. It had been bothering him since the long flight home and the drastic change in temperatures. His mind drifted to the unpleasant memory of the car accident when he received the broken shoulder and those thoughts drifted further to include Jimmy Akers. He shuddered and shook his head, dislodging the bad memories. The faint smell in the hall reminded Fraser of Jimmy, but he couldn't place what it was about the smell that brought Jimmy to mind.
Fraser was tired and ready to spend a quiet evening with Ray. Inspector Thatcher had insisted on reviewing the whole next month's agenda and the visiting Foreign Dignitaries before she left on her vacation. Fraser didn't see what the point really was. He oversaw most of what she went over with him on a regular basis anyway. Re rolled his shoulder again to work it loose. 'Maybe Ray could massage it later,' he thought with a smile. Ray always worked his magic on Fraser's aching muscles and Fraser was always thankful his partner had such skillful hands.
He knew he had been short with Ray earlier in the day and then with having to stay and do some work, he thought Chinese would make a decent peace offering. The aroma from the food he held in his arms was making his stomach grumble and he realized he never eaten his bagel from earlier in the morning. Constable Turnbull had made a delicious vegetable stew for lunch, but that had been hours ago. He was still fighting a lingering headache but it wasn't nearly as strong as it had been earlier in the day.
He jiggled his key in the lock and froze. A new scent mixed with that of the Chinese and he looked around the deserted hallway. It was vaguely familiar but he couldn't place where he knew it from. It was enough to unnerve him and it sent shivers up his spine. Fraser pulled his key from the lock and inspected it. He had never been one to keep his door locked. Not until Jimmy Akers invaded his life.
Shaking the bad memories from his head again, Fraser turned the doorknob and was about to step into his home when a gentle voice echoed from behind him.
"Constable Fraser," Mrs. Henderson's quiet voice broke the silence in the hallway. "I gave Mr. Kowalski your mail earlier today."
"Please, Mrs. Henderson, it's Ben and Ray." He gave her a kind smile. "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to invite you fellows to a barbeque my daughter and son-in-law are having this weekend, if you were going to be around." She gave him a small smile before continuing. "You two have done so much for me this past year and I wanted to say thank you."
"That's very kind of you. Ray is going to be out of town for a while, but I may be able to stop by."
"And bring Diefenbaker, my son-in-law will love him." She patted his arm. "Looks like you've got dinner there, so I won't keep you."
Fraser thanked her and stepped into the apartment. He shifted the bag of food in his arms as he turned to close the door and tripped over Ray's haphazardly placed gym bag. His left foot caught in the handle of the bag, and his forward momentum sent him crashing to the floor hard. Ben let out a sharp cry as his shoulder connected with surface beneath him. The bag of Chinese food fell from his grasp and tumbled across the hardwood floor, egg drop soup spilling from the containers as the tops popped off, chow Mein seeping out of the sides of the broken Chinese boxes. Diefenbaker swiped an eggroll that landed in front of him and he scurried under the kitchen table to scarf it down before anyone could stop him.
Emerging from the bedroom, hair damp from a recent shower, bare chested, his faded jeans sitting just below his hip bones, Ray called for his partner when he heard the commotion. "Ben…?" He saw Fraser lying on the floor, surrounded by broken containers of Chinese food. "Shit…" Jumping over the Chinese littering the floor, he hurried over to his partner's side. Fraser's feet were tangled in the straps of the bag, pain clearly written across his face. Ray helped him into a sitting position. Disentangling the bag from his feet, he shoved it to the side.
Fraser attempted to stand up and Ray held him down with a firm hand to the shoulder. "No, sit tight for a minute. You may have hit your head, Ben."
"I didn't hit my head. Just help me up," he replied, annoyed.
Ray slipped a hand under Fraser's left shoulder and began to lift.
"Oh God, stop," Fraser grunted. "Stop…. stop, stop, stop." He pulled his left arm tight against his side and cradled it with his right hand.
"What's wrong?" Ray stepped back and scanned his partner looking for obvious signs of injury. "Where are you hurt?"
Fraser's breathing was ragged, his eyes clenched shut. "I think I've hurt my shoulder."
"Fuck." Ray moved to the other side of his partner and carefully helped him to his feet. "Let's get you to the couch and I'll get you some ice."
Groaning and holding his shoulder, Ben settled into the corner of the couch. He accepted the ice pack from Ray and placed it on his throbbing shoulder. He hoped there was no further damage from the fall. Having a small rod in his shoulder was bad enough from the car accident a year ago. He didn't need it to be further damaged by a carelessly placed bag.
"What was your bag doing in the middle of the doorway anyway? If you're going to insist on just dropping it somewhere, drop it where nobody's going to break their neck on it." Fraser snapped at his partner, clearly irritated.
"I'm sorry. I went to the gym to work off some energy and I was beat when I got home and I got distracted by Dief having to go out and the phone ringing and I wasn't thinking." Ray cringed when Fraser shifted, the pain etched clearly on his face. "How bad is it? You need to go to the ER?" Ray settled himself on the arm of the couch furthest from his partner.
"No…" Fraser muttered through clenched teeth. He drew in a deep breath and found a more comfortable position. "Just… just let me sit here for a moment or two. The ice is helping to numb it." Noticing Ray's bandaged hand for the first time, he tapped his leg with his foot to get his attention. "What did you do to your hand?"
Ray studied his bandaged hand for a moment before speaking. There was no way he was telling Fraser that Dief tried to take a chunk out of him earlier. "I, uh, bruised it sparring at the gym." He gave Fraser a crooked smile. "Don't worry, Ben, the bag looks worse than me. I just needed to work off some steam. I'm just anxious to get this assignment over and done with so I can get back home."
Momentarily forgetting his own problem at hand, Fraser glared at his partner. "I still don't see why they couldn't pick somebody else."
Ray's shoulders dropped as he tried to explain again. "I already told you. I fit the description of the kind of person they want in there. You think Dewey would fit in? Or Huey? Elaine? Come on, Fraser. Don't make this harder than it already is."
"Be that as it may, I still don't have to like it," he absent-mindedly rubbed at his shoulder.
"Just like I don't have to like the Ice Queen." Ray sank down onto the couch cushion and took Fraser's feet into his lap, removing his shoes and began massaging his feet.
Fraser rolled his eyes. "One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, Ray."
"Look, three weeks and I will be back."
"Fine." Fraser set his jaw, stubbornly.
"How's the shoulder, you want anything for the pain?"
"No, thank you. I would like some water though."
"Okay, but if the pain gets to be too much and you don't want to go to the doctor because you're stubborn, I still have some of those Vicodin left from when I dislocated my shoulder." Ray went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water and a towel to clean up the food. He handed Fraser the glass of water and turned his attention to the mess on the floor. "At least it will take the edge off, better than Tylenol." Ray turned his head when Fraser huffed. "Right, who am I kidding? You won't even take a fucking Tylenol."
"Language, Ray, and you know why. I don't understand why you're angry about this. I'd have thought you'd be more supportive."
"I'm not angry, just confused. You're the one who said it was under control. Ben, there's no need to suffer through pain. And I do support you."
"Obviously, you don't understand. You've never been addicted to anything, unless you take into consideration your morning ritual of coffee and chocolate." He shifted the ice pack on his shoulder, shivering when the cold pack brushed his neck.
"Fine… maybe I don't understand. Maybe it's because you never tell me what's going on in that head of yours."
"I just did!" Fraser yelled exasperated at his partner.
"I'm sorry, okay. I just hate to see you hurt. It's not like you're going to get addicted to Tylenol."
"Well, don't leave your bags lying around then." Fraser tipped the glass of water to his lips and swallowed its contents.
"Gotta be such a smart ass. If you're so organized, where's the letter opener?" Ray questioned.
"What?" The change in subject threw Fraser for a loop. "Well, if it's not where I left it, then I assume you've moved it and didn't return it to its appropriate location."
"And my hair gel? Can't find that either. Had to pick some up when I was out today. You know I wouldn't misplace that, yet it's nowhere to be found." Anger seeped into his words.
"Maybe you forgot it at the cabin or perhaps it's beside your bag on the floor." Fraser replied snippily.
"Whatever, I didn't forget it and you know it." Ray crossed his arms defiantly, and stared at the mess on the floor.
Fraser dropped his head back onto the couch and turned towards his partner. "Why are we arguing, Ray?"
Ray hung his head. "I don't know."
"I don't want to spend our last few days together fighting."
"Me either. Listen, you sit back and keep ice on your shoulder and I will clean this mess up." Ray shot a glance at Diefenbaker hiding under the table. "What Dief hasn't eaten anyway and then we can order a pizza."
"You know, I was thinking when I got home and unlocked the door. I never used to do that… lock the door. I never felt the need, not until Jimmy invaded our lives." Fraser locked eyes with his partner. "I don't want pizza, Ray. That's why I bought Chinese. Pizza right now reminds me too much of him."
"What made you think of him all of a sudden?" Panic crept into Ray's voice. Had Fraser found out somehow about Jimmy's release?
"Nothing in particular," Fraser admitted with frown. "My shoulder has been stiff and sore since the flight home and one thought led to another." He rubbed his shoulder and replaced the ice pack. "There was also weird smell out in the hallway and it made me think of him, but I can't figure out why. I was hoping I could get a famous Kowalski massage out of you later."
"Famous huh? Well, I could probably be persuaded to put my hands on you and let them work their magic." Ray let a grin appear on his face. "But first, back to the food issue. Dief ate all the eggrolls," Ray wrinkled his nose as he glanced at the spilled food on the floor. "And as clean as this place is, I am not eating off the floor. I can run out and pick up another order."
Ray took Fraser's water glass from his hands and refilled it for him. "You still have that headache?"
"It's not as bad as it was earlier. Thank you for the water." Fraser reached out to his partner with his good hand, and pulled him close. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."
"It's okay. I'll try to keep my bag out from under your feet."
Ben snuck a hand around Ray's neck and pulled their lips together. The tension from the earlier argument fading quickly.
"Maybe we should just forget the food." Ray raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and the corner of his lip turned into a mischievous grin. "Maybe I should just you know, snuggle up on the couch with you." Ray settled himself, hip to hip with his partner. "I knew you picked out a big couch for a reason. Food can wait, no?"
"I've seem to have lost my appetite anyway," Fraser ran his hand down the length of his partner's arm. "Well… for food anyway."
"Oh… I like how you think. Food is so overrated." Ray stretched out the length of the couch to match Ben and turned on his side, facing him. "We really should take you to at least get your shoulder x-rayed. You fell pretty hard and you're not even moving it."
"It will be fine. If it's not better tomorrow morning, I will go have it looked at." Ray looked doubtful and Fraser ran a thumb across his lips before kissing them. "I promise."
The lay together in silence until Fraser's growling stomach echoed in the quiet room. The Mountie blushed.
"Okay, maybe I am still hungry."
Ray rubbed his partner's chest and sat up. "I'll go get food, you relax." Ray hopped up off the couch with a youthful energy. "Need anything before I leave? More water? Ice?"
"Both please. And you may want to consider putting on a shirt." Hearing Diefenbaker whining from under the table, Fraser rolled his eyes. "And could you take Dief out? He obviously has control issues when it comes to what he chooses to eat."
Dropping a kiss to Fraser's forehead and handing off the new ice pack and water, Ray headed out the door with Dief for another round of Chinese. Fraser chuckled when he heard Ray scolding the wolf.
"How many times have we had this discussion, Dief? People food is for people, not wolves." Dief let out a small howl. "Well, doughnuts are different. Those are universal."
The closing of the door cut Fraser out of the conversation. He leaned his head against the couch, a small headache forming at the base of his skull once again. He downed the glass of water to alleviate the pain and worked himself into a sitting position. The ice had numbed the pain radiating from his shoulder into a dull ache. He carefully rolled his shoulder forward and then backward trying to loosen it up. He was going to live. No need for the emergency room. Ray had been overly concerned about his well-being since he hurt his shoulder in the car accident about a year ago. An accident that was a deliberate attempt to kill Ray, but collected Fraser instead.
He groaned as he stood from the coach and grumbled when he realized Ray never cleaned up the floor. Someone still needed to clean up the mess and a wolf's tongue was not a satisfactory remedy for the spilled food. Dief had managed to scarf up all the food and soup that had spilled from the containers, leaving only a sticky residue behind.
"He will never learn. One of these days he's just going to pop." Fraser kept his left arm tucked close to his side, using his shoulder as little as possible while he managed to clean up the containers and get the floor wiped up, but it cost him. He was sweating and breathing hard and thirsty.
'Maybe Ray was right about the ER,' he thought for a moment. I think I will just rest it and see how it is in the morning.' He filled his glass with water and picked up Ray's bag as he headed for their bedroom. He could smell the sweaty towels and decided to throw them in the laundry before Ray forgot. He pulled out the offending towel and tossed it quickly into the laundry basket followed by Ray's socks and shirt. He pushed the boxing gloves to the side looking for Ray's shorts when his fingers brushed the envelopes Ray had hid earlier. Curious, Fraser pulled them out and scanned the fronts, noticing one was addressed to himself and then he froze when he read the name of the sender.
Fraser stood, motionless, his hands beginning to tremble, his headache moving to the back of his eyes, adding even more tension than what he was already experiencing. Shaky fingers slit the envelope open and he pulled out the neatly folded white letter.
"Dear Mr. Fraser,
The Illinois State Parole Board is sending you this letter to notify you of the release of Jimmy Akers. It is our intention to notify the victim if a prisoner is to be released. Jimmy Akers is scheduled for release on July 7th. He has been instructed to refrain from any form of contact with you. Doing so would be a violation of his parole. If you have any questions or concerns…"
Fraser couldn't read anymore and sank onto the bed, stunned at the thought of a monster like Jimmy Akers ever being released. It had been less than a year since Jimmy had almost destroyed his life. He held a hand over his mouth. "Oh my God… please don't let this be true." His shocked turned to anger. Ray had deliberately hidden this from him.
He struggled with the onslaught of memories that were invading his thoughts. His memory flashed to a park bench and a familiar stranger sitting beside him, being taken to a place that was supposed to be safe, Ray's home, that stranger pretending to be his partner, the funny tasting tea. Fraser was getting nauseous. He remembered being incapacitated by the drugged tea, lying motionless on Ray's bed, Jimmy kissing his body, popping the button to his jeans. He couldn't breathe and was beginning to panic at the thought of what Jimmy would have done to him had Ray not shown up to save him.
He had worked so hard to get over what Jimmy had done. Countless sessions with a counselor, both with and without Ray. Fraser lost track of time as he sat on the bed staring blankly at the open letter he still held in his hand. He looked at the date again of Jimmy's release and swallowed the bile that was rising up and burning his throat. Jimmy had been released while he and Ray were vacationing in Canada. How long had Ray known? How long had he kept the letter hidden from him? Did he know before they left? Was that why he suggested the vacation? Fraser had too many questions for his lover. And now Ray was leaving for an undercover assignment. Leaving him to contend with this all alone. No more duet, no more partnership. A solo act once again.
Unable to withstand anymore, Fraser rushed to the bathroom, heaving until he was empty. Rinsing and wiping his mouth, he slowly made his way back to the bedroom and picked up the letter he dropped on the floor. He sank onto the bed again and drew his knees to his chest and waited. Waited for Ray's key to click in the lock, waited for the shocked expression he knew he would see once he held up the offending letter, waited for his partner to explain himself… waited for the wrongs to be made right again.
