Author's Note: Wow. Two chapters and already seventeen reviews and a rec on TV Tropes. I had no idea Sette would draw such an audience!
Sette: As the main character, my primary mission objective for the story was to acquire a significant viewing audience. Based on the size of the Nanoha fanbase and the general review frequency for said fanbase on this (highly inefficient) story-sharing site, I can state with reasonable confidence that all mission objectives have been achieved. You may end the story now, your efforts are no longer required.
Author: I haven't actually resolved anything yet, you know. Why would I end it now?
Sette: Judging by your other stories that focus on 'humor' (Uninvited Guests, Bleach fandom, has taken you far too long to finish; Center Ring, Nanoha Fandom, poorly conceived Alternate Universe setting; Proper Equipment, Nanoha fandom, written while hopped-up on cold medicine), I have determined that continued involvement in this story will be detrimental to both my health and my dignity. I therefore wish to request that it be discontinued.
Author: Request denied.
Sette: Understood. There will be repercussions for this. If not at my hands, than several of my more impulsive sisters will most likely be having words with you shortly.
Author: ... I would threaten you back, but frankly you're too adorable to get angry at.
Sette: Yes, that is true.
Author: Oh, and before I sign off I should mention that I'm dropping the Japanese pronouns, the nee-san and such. I was using them before in an effort to make Sette sound more formal, but they're very annoying and a few people have pointed out errors I repeatedly make with them, so I've decided they're really just not worth the effort.
Sette: Just one more sign that this story should be cut short.
Author: Watch it, kid. Cute only gets you so far.
Chapter Three:
"So she's out of prison legitimately? She just got released?" Ginga Nakajima asked, holding ice to her face in an effort to bring the swelling down. "Er... sorry, then. I... when I saw you in the living room, and nobody had told me you would be there, I... sorta assumed you'd broken out."
"Several of my sisters considered such. However, escape attempts are forbidden under Penal Code 001-A, quite literally the first rule in the book." I informed her. "Such a flagrant breach of regulations would have been an irreversible black mark on my record, and a serious blow to my overall efficiency rating for my mission at the time, 'Operation: Twenty-five years to Life in a Maximum Security Installation (Possibility of early parole extended due to extenuating circumstances in the accused's childhood)'."
"That... that wasn't actually a mission so much as a punishment..." Ginga Nakajima said. She sounded nervous for some reason. Possibly she wanted pancakes.
Wendi sighed. "Ah, I've missed this. Life just isn't the same without someone outlining in excruciating detail the proper operating procedure for using a toaster."
"You do have a tendency to press down on the toast button with 43% greater force than the design specifications recommend." I agreed. "It increases basic wear and tear on the unit, contributing to greater frequency of needed repairs. I will be certain to monitor usage during my stay here in an effort to prevent this."
Wendi smiled. "I missed you too, sis."
I blinked. "I did not say I missed you." And indeed, I had not. I was not averse to seeing Wendi again, but I had not thought of her often during the time I was incarcerated. I instead, being in prison, thought of prison-related topics, such as 'solitary confinement' and 'shankings'. I found the former very soothing, actually. The latter was best avoided, if only because once they had begun, stopping them often required severely wounding some of my fellow inmates, which resulted in a great deal of unneeded investigation into the situation that hampered overall imprisonment efficiency.
Paradoxically, my statement cause Wendi's smile to grow larger. "If you had, you wouldn't be Sette. Welcome home, little sis."
I considered this statement. If I had said that I missed Wendi, I would no longer be Sette? This made no sense. A simple statement could not feasibly change my identity in such a manner, unless said statement was made by me, requesting forms to legally change my name. And further, why did the thought that my name might change make Wendi happy? Unless perhaps she thought I might also change her name, and was relieved that I had not? It would be rather disconcerting, after all. Deciding this was the most likely answer, I said, "Do not worry. I have no desire to change your name, and could not if I wanted to."
Wendi laughed out loud at Ginga Nakajima's confused expression. "Oh yeah, I definitely missed this!"
I blinked slowly. The years had not changed Wendi; she still did not make a great deal of sense.
"All right, here's the girl of the hour." Nove said, leading Cinque and Dieci into the kitchen where Wendi, Ginga Nakajima and I had gone to sit and have a light breakfast. For some reason, no-one was willing to attempt eating the pancake. Perhaps the household Weekly Breakfast Plan did not allow pancakes today (surely they had a weekly breakfast plan. Why wouldn't they plan out their breakfasts at least a week in advance? It allowed food to be acquired and prepared with minimal waste of time and resources). I supposed if it was not pancake day, the situation could not be helped.
Cinque sighed, closing her one eye, but smiled softly immediately afterward. "Well... I guess it's a bit troublesome that you didn't call first, but it is nice to see you again, Sette."
Dieci nodded, once. "Sette, it's been awhile." She said. "How are you? I imagine prison was stressful, so if you need anything..."
I considered this. "Not really." I said. "Prison was quiet, and easy to understand. I don't have any particularly negative memories of my time there. The first day featured several threats to our lives and persons, but after Tre killed that woman..."
"What?" Nove, Wendi, and Ginga Nakajima squeaked in unison.
"Ah, I should have mentioned. Tre said that the best option for earning respect in prison is to find the largest, most dangerous inmate you can and kill them. I chose not to do so, because it would be a flagrant violation of Penal Code 117-R, but Tre elected to pursue this path by hunting down and efficiently killing a very large murderer with considerable influence over most of the the other prisoners. This action extended Tre's sentence by several decades, but afterward only new arrivals unaware of the so-called 'pecking order' would actively seek conflict with her or any of the rest of us, so it could still be called a successful mission." I said.
For some reason, nobody spoke for some time after this. Perhaps they had forgotten what the Weekly Breakfast Plan said, and were trying to recall what their assigned meal for the morning was.
"So... Sette." Nove said, after some time had passed. Ah, good, breakfast was back on schedule. "What are you going to do now that you're out?"
"That is what I am here to determine. Cinque, I await your orders." I said.
"... me?" Cinque said.
"Yes, you."
"Er... I know that I used to outrank you, but... you're not a combatant anymore, Sette. You don't need to take orders from me."
"Untrue." I stated. "The Doctor gave me an assignment earlier, stating, as follows: 'go into the world and pursue the life you want to pursue'. I have completed two objectives. I have gone into the world, as evidenced by the fact that I am here, in the world. I have determined the sort of life I wish to pursue, which is a properly structured existence wherein my abilities are utilized to their maximum efficiency by a competent superior. All that remains now is to pursue this 'life', which will be accomplished by placing myself under your command, Cinque."
"Sette..." Cinque said, smiling slightly yet paradoxically also appearing sad. "I'm flattered that you think of me like that, but I'm really in no position to be your 'superior'. I'd rather just be your sister, and let you determine your own 'objectives'."
I considered this. Fortunately, I had gotten very good at logic puzzles of this sort, and was able to outmaneuver her. "I have assigned myself an objective. This objective is: request Cinque assign me further objectives. Cinque, please assign me a new mission to complete. Primary Objective completed, awaiting new mission."
Cinque sighed. "You know, for the ultimate doormat you're surprisingly stubborn when you want to be..."
"I do not want to be stubborn. However, since my talents are currently going to waste, it is essential I determine my next mission immediately. Each passing hour brings further drops in efficiency and productive output." I informed her.
"Cinque..." Dieci interjected. "Maybe asking Sette to just take over her own life completely is a bit much to ask so suddenly. It took Otto and Deed awhile to adapt, and they had much less of Quattro's tampering to deal with."
"That's... a fair point." Cinque said. "All right, how's this? Sette, I'll take over as your 'commander' on a probationary status, but for now my only command to you is to explore civilian life, find things you enjoy, determine what you want to do. I'll offer you 'objectives'... well, more like suggestions, but you can follow them as ardently or as little as you want to. And eventually, with any luck, you'll find out what you want to do, what you don't want to do, and someday you'll be able to adapt to the degree the rest of us have and you won't need me to make those decisions for you anymore. Is that acceptable?"
In truth, I would have preferred a more concrete arrangement, but I found this mission to be vastly preferable to no mission at all. Certainly, once I performed flawlessly to her expectations, Cinque would see my value as a subordinate and return me to her command on a more permanent basis. "Yes, this will be acceptable. Mission acknowledged."
Cinque nodded. "Good. And the rest of you, I'd like to ask that you help out as much as possible. Take Sette to new places, introduce her to new people and experiences. Basically, help her have a life until she builds one of her own. This won't be a problem, I assume?"
"Well... I have my job to do, but I'll help as much as I can." Ginga Nakajima said.
"Anything for family!" Wendi cheered.
"Certainly. And I'm sure some of our sisters at the Church would be happy to help too." Dieci said.
"Except Sein. We should avoid Sein." Nove said.
"That's why I said 'some' of our sisters, not 'all' of them." Dieci agreed. "We want to integrate the girl, not traumatize her."
"I have learned to confirm the security of a 1600 meter radius before entering a bath." I said.
Nove smiled. "Smart girl. You'll go far in this world."
Genya Nakajima (Rank Major, Post Batallion 108) entered the room, dressed in a bathrobe and pajamas. In his hands he carried what appeared to be a newspaper and several scraps of wood. "Ah. This would be the sister I've heard about, then?"
"Mmm-hmm!" Wendi said cheerfully. "Sette's moving in! That's all right, isn't it daddy?"
Genya sighed. "Well... I suppose that once you hit a certain amount of daughters, adding one more doesn't make a huge difference. I do have a few things to make sure of, first. For starters... well, I hate to say this, but she didn't choose reintegration like you girls. Are you sure she's... safe?"
"I am currently not under any orders to kill you." I said helpfully. This would reassure him, I felt.
For some reason, the room again fell silent.
"D-don't worry, father." Cinque said, somewhat shakily. "She's a bit socially awkward, but she won't hurt anyone who doesn't try to hurt her first, at least not unless I tell her to. Isn't that right, Sette? You are only to use violence against any living thing in self-defense, and take all possible precautions to avoid taking a human life. Understood?"
I nodded. Finally, an order. Hopefully, the first of many. "Understood, sir. Rewriting defensive parameters to utilize this new information."
"There, see? Harmless." Nove said.
"Okay." Genya said, somewhat doubtfully. "Less dramatic, but just as important, have you decided where she'll be sleeping? We're running low on rooms."
"Oh! Oh! My room! My room! She can stay with me!" Wendi said.
"Oh. Oh. Acceptable. Acceptable. I can stay with Wendi." I said. Wendi seemed to be fitting in well here, and perhaps imitating her speech patterns would speed integration.
"Well, now that we've settled that, I suppose I do have one more thing to be certain about." Genya Nakajima said, depositing the wooden shards he was carrying. Upon closer inspection, one of the larger pieces carried the representation of the face of an elderly gentleman. "Young lady, is there some reason you felt our garden gnome deserved to die? Because if other lawn decorations are going to enrage you similarly, I'll save some money and just leave the yard bare."
"She killed Mr. McGnome?" Wendi asked. "Okay, even I gotta ask on this one... why?"
"I was checking it for covert listening devices." I informed the room. I did not wish to appear randomly destructive, after all. "I was able to determine that there were none."
"Ah. How helpful. I never would have thought to do that." Genya Nakajima said in a strangely dull tone.
"Yes, not many people would have." I agreed. "You are fortunate I was able to anticipate and defend against that avenue of infiltration."
"... yeah. Sure." Genya Nakajima said.
And with this obviously wholehearted confirmation that my actions were correct, it became clear that my cohabitation in the Nakajima household was off to an excellent start.
