That mask! That stupid, cretinous mug of a mask! Why did it have to chase after him every time he so much as sneezes on a hidden key? How does it chase after him, anyway? Supernatural possession? Because that would be a rubbish afterlife- decades of feasting and raving in an ever-evolving world, only to end up looking after a 8-bit key in a glooming cave? Having only the company of a handful of awkward little Shy Guys and Bob-ombs, with suicidal tendencies that weren't exactly helped by the persistent duskiness that befriended them?
No wonder the mask was so feral. One day it'd be a mask that'd end the world, Mario just knew it. But right now, it was his life, not his world, that he was worried about.
Turning the corner, there was no sight whatsoever of the locked door he'd been running for. The passageway before him, using the few flecks of light available deep underground, he found just as hollow as the last. The rough road sloped down at a tiny angle, leading towards two shivering Bob-ombs and an energetic Shy Guy. It struck Mario that perhaps his enemies were enemies to Phantos as well. There was not much that Phantos could do beyond hang on the wall with their creepy little grins and blaze after thieves, and by that point everyone else- even those sharing the same common foe- wouldn't really have the time or lives to view anything else. Add it to the fact that only well-resourced heroes could just temporarily stop the onslaught, and you make for one obnoxious, total-
"Dictator!" wailed one of the Bob-ombs, interrupting Mario's track of thought. Smoke erupted from its round top as it approached him. "We've waited here fifteen years for you, you gassy dictator! FIFTEEN YEARS! Just so you could pick off that stupid Mario and keep your kingly bottom safe! And you only come around to laugh at us now?! Go to the Underwhere, you slimy frog! What is your problem?!"
The pink Bob-omb rested her head against him, consolingly. "Come on, honey, you're exaggerating now. Wart only just took over Subcon a week ago, remember? And besides, look at this man. It's Mario, don't you see?"
"..."
"See? Wart hasn't got cheeks that chubby, now, does he?"
The Bob-omb. "..."
Mario. "..."
She turned to Mario and, subtly, mouthed 'delusional.' ... Bob-ombs have mouths?
"...I'm alright now," announced the male Bob-omb. "Sorry about that, Mario. It's the tension getting to me, it is. I'm very sensitive to the dark. It just makes me WANTTOBLOWUPANDMAKETHELIGHTCOMEANDENDITALLFORTHELAUGHS. But I'm sane now. Not at all INSANEORWISHINGEVERYONEASLOWAGONISINGDEATHHOORAY. But thanks for not losing your cool."
Mario nodded solemnly.
"We're still going to blow up your face, though."
He nodded again. He hadn't even tilted his head back up again when his ears blazed with the sound of two explosions agitating the walls around him. In one swift move, he back-flipped away from the bursts of energy, kicking away the rubble that broke away towards him. A smirk brightened his face as he landed, he knew that the self-destructs had failed and all that the walking bombs had achieved were massive hangovers in the morning.
Except, when the dust settled, there was no sight of them. Only the craters where they had once been, where they should still be. And the mask hovering them, its grin as resolute as ever. It was also getting closer than ever. To incinerate each of his fingers and more, just to recover the beloved key-
Of course. The key. Mario's last chance. The Phanto was just a metre away, but hope was even closer. Eyes shut, arms tensed, he threw the key, and that was all he knew at as awaited the worst.
Silence choked him. Just silence, agonising and cruel. But he decided after a second to just open his eyes, because he was experienced enough to know that the world doesn't really have the most important of heroes die randomly in a cave just because he didn't open the door. And sure enough, there was no sign of the Phanto any more. Apparently, it's no longer stealing if you put the things down once in a while. Hopefully the Mushroom Kingdom's legal system wasn't keen on that idea, or the Princess could be 'stolen' away all the time. Not considering that this could happen nonetheless. At least she was being adventurous this time. She had decided to float around the cave using platforms the others couldn't, while Luigi and Toad were busy fighting Birdo elsewhere.
Thankfully, Mario would soon be reunited with the rest, for as he went to pick up the key again, he noticed a glint of metal near the bottom of the slope. The lock on the sealed door. His exit. 'Vigor up!' yelled the plumber, internally. He was practically sliding down the slope at this point, at a rate that would melt the Penguin Champ's heart if he saw it. But no, now he only had a Shy Guy to watch him, which couldn't quite produce the same impact as being cheered on by the Princess or a professional. Though it did seem strangely interested in him. Annoyingly so. It blocked him mid-stride, puny arms outstretched like a traffic warden. Mario glowered at him; it may as well have been a Goomba standing up to him, for all it mattered. He could outjump it in a second, what could it say to that?
"Oh, heya Mario!" it chimed.
Hmm. 'SHY' Guys, huh? 'Shy' meaning antisocial, unable and unwilling to kick up a conversation, eh? As in, not having the spike balls to greet a new face with 'oh, heya Mario!', right?
"Well? Say something."
There were a few choice words he wanted to say, but he bit his lip instead. There was something bad about its voice that he didn't want to remember.
"Come on, Mario, you've done that joke before. Course you know who I am!"
As if this confidence was not profound enough, the Shy Guy placed his hands on the mask he wore. He couldn't be... But he was. He was peeling it away, slowly and delicately, but for all Mario knew or cared, he could have burned it off his face. Because what mattered was this face, and this face could only be-
"See? It's me, Dolor! Fancy seeing you here!" His words barely registered; Mario's eyes remained fixed on the Toad's appearance. Dolor was kind enough to blush. "Er, I wasn't stalking you or anything! I was just... cosplaying! Yeah, cosplaying! They really let the Los Angeles Convention Centre go downhill, eh?"
The Italian plumber was ready to point out to him that Los Angeles wasn't situated in Subcon and generally wasn't home to homicidal masks, but this thought brought him back to his more concerning stalker. The Phanto would be back any moment now, and when it was, it wouldn't be eager to share notes with the Toad about how best to snoop on innocent plumbers. He couldn't wait any longer- without a second glance, Mario spun on the spot and began to jog where he stood. Before he could go, however, he felt Dolor's hand clamp around his shoulder. He struggled to shrug him off, but with two hands in use propping up the key, his efforts were in vain.
Dolor was pouting. "Oh, don't be like that! You could cosplay too if you want! I've brought the costumes and all!" And, surprisingly, he had; for in a moment, he yanked out of his red attire two distinct outfits. Mario wasn't totally aware of modern events going on outside the Mushroom Kingdom nowadays, but even he could recognise what they were based off. The one that came with a fierce pig-like mask and skull emblem was meant to represent that Dark Lord Link was up against a few years ago, while the more feminine dress and wig held in Dolor's left hand brought to mind the chick that he had been trying to save-
Zelda's dress. Cosplaying. Neither he nor Dolor was a girl- was Dolor secretly a girl? Acted like a girl, anyway. Mario would have to check later... but not in that way. But surely the dress couldn't be-
"I'll dress up as Ganon..." He gave a Ganon-like smile. "And you'll be my Princess..."
On second thoughts, Mario decided, perhaps a quick kill by a Phanto wasn't such an unwelcome demise. Couldn't come quickly enough. But not necessarily for him. An idea began to form in his head- it was devious, yes, but it'd work. It wasn't like he really needed the key; a cave this big had to have another exit aside from a locked door.
So, he threw the key again, but this time, to Dolor.
"Da-da-da-daah! You found a small key! This key will open- wait, what does it open anyhow?"
Mario didn't speak.
"...is this what I think it is? Is this the key to your heart? And your hair? You're giving this to me?! Oh, Mario, of course I accept! Amazing! Fantastico! Oh, and we'll need to arrange the location and guests and all. Marrymore, does that sound good? I hear the cake there is to die for! And we can bring all our friends. Luigi, Princess Toadstool, those ol' Yoshis that looked after you when you were young..."
Mario would have asked how Dolor knew all about these dear friends of his, but he had the oddest feeling that knowledge would only lead to paranoia.
"And King Koopa and his minions too! Can't forget them!"
Yeah, Bowser and co. would be great to have around. Could put him out of his misery in between fits of laughter.
A light thud emanated from the cavern behind them, though Dolor didn't even blink. Mario, on the other hand, jumped on the spot, and with the Toad's hands now engaged, took this opportunity to throw himself through the rest of the cave.
"What- you're already heading off? Is it because I forgot the ring? I have a King Hippo costume too, if that helps?" Mario didn't stop running. "Or a Luigi one?"
Something crashed out of the darkness behind him, and this time, he did whirl around to see. It was a floating mask with an eldritch grin that broke into his very soul, and the grin was everything and anything.
"Ah, hello! I'm sorry, did you want to be invited too?"
He took the mask floating towards him to be a 'yes'.
"Hey, you know what you remind me of?" Dolor giggled. "That face I always pull, when I'm about to eat!"
Which was very similar indeed to what Phanto already had in mind. Except the expression didn't change, not even after its meal was finished.
It was 2 A.M., and really Mario should still be sleeping in bed. He couldn't see the point anymore, though. Even in his dreams he couldn't get a break. True, he'd had three close friends to help him through to the end, but honestly, he wasn't at all optimistic about having his sleep disrupted again like that. What everyone needed... They needed someone to look after Dream Land alone. A guy who'd have the time and abilities to defeat the nightmares and still look cute doing it. But it would take time to find the right person. It wouldn't have surprised Mario if it took up to 1992. Eh, whatever.
Still in his pyjamas, the plumber slithered over to the fridge, barely forcing his body to get up and open it. His drowsy eyes scanned the contents. Did he have..? Yes, he did. He reached for the carton behind the leftover Megaton Dinner and the... whatever it was. Mario climbed onto the wooden chair, smiling at the carton. Got milk? Yep. That'll show those goddamn kids... whoever they were. He forgot. Maybe.
Whoever they were, Mario didn't care anymore. A litre of milk later, the kitchen was filled with the hushed snores of a plumber at peace. For now, dreams would not be a burden to him. They would be the homes of his greatest joys, his refuge from the dark.
Dolor, however, did not sleep so soundly. Not for a long, long time...
Hello everyone! If you don't read my other fanfic, I've said in it that my rate of producing chapters should be back to normal soon enough, since I'm through with exams. But, if you do read the other fanfic, I'm sorry to say I will be leaving it for a long time, at least until I've finished this series. On the plus side, this should be coming out twice as quick, and I'll have my ideas for it sorted out a bit more, hopefully!
On another note (trying not to sound like a whining teenager} could somebody please review? Even if you're just going to copy+paste a generic review? I'm awful insecure about my writing, and this silence isn't all that reassuring :( If you're reading this, you must have liked something of my fanfic to get here and probably have a criticism or more- please share it, or how can I actually end up writing for YOU?
EDIT: forgot to mention, this chapter is based on SMB2 rather than SMB, because... I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ;( I could only consider the idea of Dolor jumping out at Mario in those land stages with the Cheeps Cheeps, but couldn't get around narrating it. I can tell in hindsight it would have been the crappiest 500 words of your life, so I did this game instead. Much more scope, I feel! I know now what games I'm opting for; if anyone feels like filling in the gaps (who am I kidding...) feel free.
And I'm not ignoring your review Matt1251, sorry if that's what it looks like!
