The following song lyrics used in this chapter are from:
Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha
E.T. by Katy Perry
Also, Guess who actually took the time to look up vegan, gluten-free recipes? *points to self proudly*
Also, also, HOW'D THIS CHAPTER GET SO FREAKING LONG I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO STOP WHAT?
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Nor do I own any of the songs mentioned. I'm not making any money. Nuff said.
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Chapter Three
"Dude," Midge said as Dib walked into class that morning, "what the fuck happen to you?"
Dib unconsciously reached up to touch his cheek. It was still tender and sore, but it didn't burn as much as it had initially. "Oh, you know, got into a bit of a brawl last night."
Midge tilted her head. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say it was with Zim?"
Dib sat down. "Yeah," he told her with a shrug. "It happens."
"It…happens?" Midge asked, sounding mildly concerned.
"Uh-huh."
Midge blinked at him for moment, and Dib couldn't help but feel like she was judging him. Where'd she get off judging him, anyway?! Fights between boys were normal. Even if
his hadn't been with another boy so much as an egotistical alien…still…
He was about to voice his displeasure at her pointed gaze when she spoke again. "Where is Zim, anyway?"
Dib furrowed his brow, his annoyance with Midge melding into curiosity. Zim was usually here by now…unless he was up to something. He remembered how Tak had showed up last night, and that dude, Dek. What if Dib had misjudged the situation, and it turned out they had been after Zim all along? What if Zim was in trouble? Not that he really cared, but he and Zim sort of had an understanding where no one else was allowed to try and kill the other so –
"Dib!"
"Huh?! What?"
Midge was staring at him, her blue eyes full of concern. "You spaced out for a moment. Everything okay?"
Dib hesitated. No, everything was not okay. For all he knew, Zim was being horribly tortured by that so called Alien Relocator and that vicious snake of a female Irken. Or, Zim was preparing to remedy his mistake from last night. Either way, Dib was in a tight spot. He had to pick and choose wisely when he skipped school nowadays. Dib had had to go to court for being truant so much, and now couldn't get out of class unless he had a legitimate excuse. And apparently saving planet Earth wasn't legitimate enough.
Besides, it was only first period. For all he knew, Zim was running late putting the finishing touches on some new means of destruction. It wasn't unusual. There was nothing to worry about it.
He'd give it a day. He could go home and check the cameras he had in Zim's base, then. There was no need to jump to conclusions.
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Zim had found his cameras. He'd found his fucking cameras! Dib kicked a rock as he hopped off the bus. He only realized his mistake when Midge had to dodge it.
"Hey, watch it, David Beckham!" Midge told him, closing the book she was reading and standing up. She put the book in her messenger bag and dusted herself off.
Dib rubbed the back of his neck, some of his irritation disappearing. "Sorry," he told her.
Midge rolled her eyes. "No big deal. What's got you so worked up, anyway?"
Dib hesitated. He really didn't want to admit to a girl he'd only known a couple days that he had placed cameras in a classmate's house. The thought of losing his equipment made him angry all over again. He could always just put more in, of course, but it was inconvenient and annoying. He realized Midge was still waiting on an answer. "Er…you wouldn't happened to have seen Zim, would you?"
Midge shook her head. "I guess you haven't heard from him?"
Dib shook his head, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. With Tak and the Alien Relocator running around, there were too many variables. And Zim had taken away Dib's eyes on him. Dib had even tried calling the idiot. It was no surprise when Zim hadn't answered. Stupid lizard.
"You wanna just ditch?"
"Huh?" Dib grunted, Midge voice shoving him out of his thoughts.
"Well, this is obviously bothering you," Midge said matter-of-factly. "I'm sort of afraid if we stay here any longer you'll have a panic attack."
"Wouldn't be the first time," Dib blurted. He was mostly trying to get the subject off of ditching school. He couldn't afford any more truancies.
Midge raised a brow and blinked. "Yeah, well, I refuse to witness that. I have a car. I can take you to his house."
Besides the truancy issue, there were several reasons why that was a bad idea. Midge – as far as Dib could tell, anyway – didn't know Zim was an alien, and the last thing he needed was her to go into a panic from seeing Zim without his disguise. Not to mention, who knew what Zim would do to the poor girl.
"I don't know…" Dib said, fidgeting.
"Go, moron."
"GAH! Gaz, don't do that!" Dib shouted. He rose a brow at her. "Where did you come from anyway?"
Gaz rolled her eyes. "From the fourth dimension." She quipped in a bored tone. "Go check on Zim."
Dib choked. "What makes you think I wanna check on that alien scum?"
Gaz glared. Dib was certain shadows and demons were gathering around her. "If you don't go, I'm going to twist your head until it pops off."
Midge hid behind Dib. "He'll go! I'll make sure he does! Please don't summon Cthulhu or something!"
Gaz stopped glaring. "I'll tell your teachers that you went home sick. And don't worry about Dad. You know he won't find out."
Then she stalked off toward the school entrance. A couple of girls in her year greeted her and followed. He knew them to be the ones Gaz sat with at lunch now. Dib still couldn't grip that Gaz had a group of friends now. Or maybe they were minions. Who knew?
"Sheesh, is your sister part demon or something?" Midge asked, coming out from behind Dib.
"Probably," Dib replied frankly. He froze for a second. He hadn't mentioned having a sister, or even pointed Gaz out. "How did you know she was my sister?"
Midge pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Lucky guess," she said. She then patted Dib's shoulder. "Ready to go?"
"Wait, what about you?" Dib asked. "You're new here. You'll make a bad first impression."
"Meh," Midge said with a shrug. "First impressions aren't everything."
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Midge's car was nothing special, just an old Toyota Camry. It was a dark blue, with paint chips here and there. Dib was pretty sure the left back tire was low on air.
"Is, um," Dib asked cautiously. "Your car's safe, right?"
Yes, Dib had been in space before, several times, but said vessels were all well structured and made of advanced technology. Not that he would admit that to Zim.
Midge frowned at him as she unlocked the car. "Not all of us are loaded, you know," she pointed out.
"I didn't mean-," Dib back-tracked but Midge waved him off.
"Don't worry, Dib. Bessie is the safest car in the galaxy," she said with a grin. She opened the driver side door.
Dib blinked. "You named your car Bessie?"
"Yes," Midge replied simply. "Now come on. We're burning daylight."
Dib sighed, figuring he'd already come this far so he might as well just get in the car. Upon entering the passenger seat, the found the car to be immaculately clean. It kind of surprised him. Then again, he still didn't know Midge very well.
As Midge started the car, she pulled out an adaptor tape and slid it into the tape player. She took the other end and plugged in into her phone and began scrolling. Dib watch as she brought up a music list and punched the shuffle button. A song began to play as they pulled out of the parking spot.
Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seeing it in my dreams
Dib scowled. "Really?" he sighed out loud.
Midge hummed in acknowledgement as she clicked on her turn signal. "You can change it if you want," she told him, indicating her phone.
Dib's mouth became a thin line. He felt phones were sort of a personal thing, and allowing someone to go through them was a large sign of trust. He really didn't understand this
girl. Why was she being so nice to him?
Tentatively, Dib picked up the phone from the cup holder it sat in, beginning to scroll through Midge's music list. She had very eclectic taste, having everything from pop to rap to rock.
"You have Skillet?" He asked when he came across the band.
Midge snorted. "Why am I not surprised that you like Skillet?"
Dib frowned. That was an odd comment. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Midge shook her head. "Nothing. Hurry up and pick. I can tell I'm tormenting your brain right now." She gave him a teasing grin.
None the less, Dib began to search the list of songs quicker before finding the song he was looking for. As soon as the booming violin opening of Rebirthing began to play. Midge beamed. "Good choice," she said. "That's my favorite Skillet song."
Dib stared at her. "Mine, too," he admitted. He was feeling the strangest mix up of emotions. A part of him like this. A part of him wanted to let this new camaraderie happen. But another part, a darker part, couldn't help but still feel like none of this was real. That at any moment, the rug would be pulled from under him.
Despite his best efforts, he tensed at the thought. He even considered abandoning this mission altogether in case whatever trap Midge was a part of was about to be sprung. But, that would get him no where. He was better off keeping the girl close, and staying vigilant of any slip ups.
"So, which way am I turning?" Midge asked as they approached a stop light.
"Turn left," Dib told her.
"Alrighty, then," Midge replied, making the turn as the light turned green.
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Zim's house was hardly ever quiet. Dib knew from years of sneaking in that there was always some sort of commotion going on. However, as they got out of the car, Dib didn't hear a peep, not even a squeal from Gir.
"His house looks like something out of The Nightmare Before Christmas," Midge observed, tilting her head.
Dib's brow furrowed. "You know, I never thought about that." He made to enter the yard, holding Midge back as she tried to follow. "You might wanna let me go first."
Midge looked perplexed, but she obeyed. "Okay."
Dib took a deep breath and let it out slowly, playing out his usual routine in his head. Then, he jumped into the air, flipping and hopping to avoid to lasers the lawn gnomes always fired. Finally, he made it to the front porch, where the gnomes never dared to shoot.
"Whoa," Midge said, sounding sincerely impressed. "Where'd you learn to do all that?!"
Dib brushed himself off, unable to help the smug look on his face. "Eh. It's nothing." He leaned closer to the door, trying to listen. He couldn't hear anything. That was never a good sign.
"Zim?" Dib called, pounding on the door. "Hey, Zim, Tak hasn't killed you has she?"
When there was no answer, Dib nudged the door with his shoulder. The fake living room was dark and completely empty. "Zim?" he called again, entering the house.
"Uh…Dib?"
"Ah!" Dib yelped, jumping slightly. He found Midge looking extremely apologetic standing right behind him. "Are you crazy?! You can't just sneak up on people!" Then, he gave the girl a confused look. "How did you get passed the lawn gnomes?"
"Oh, uh, I just did what you did," Midge replied, twirling the hair at the end of her pony-tail.
Dib narrowed his eyes. "You just…did what I did?"
Midge shrugged. "I'm a fast learner," she replied. "But, anyway, we might have problem-,"
"ZIM!"
Dib winced at that familiar shriek. "What the hell is Tak doing here?!"
"That's what I was talking about," Midge explained. "Some crazy bitch on stilts is coming this way. She looks pissed."
There was a blur of movement before the front door was slammed shut. Zim had shown himself and was now latching the door several times. Midge exchanged glances with Dib. To his surprised, the girl didn't look scared, not even when Dib realized that the Irken was out of his disguise.
"That stupid Alien Relocator!" Zim growled as he locked the last latch. "I will tear out his innards and use them for bungee cords!" He then turned, jumping when he saw Dib behind him. "Gah! Dib-stink!" His eyes narrowed. Dib ignored the thrill that went up his spine at the Irken's real eyes looking at him like that. "I don't have time for you, stupid human! I have more important matters to attend to!"
Dib just blinked at him. He felt the slightest bit of jealousy when he saw that there was no sign of where he had punched Zim the night before. It was annoying that Dib was always covered in injuries and Zim just regenerated them away.
"How did you piss of Tak this time?" he asked, deciding he might as well get some information.
"Eh?! I did no such thing!" Zim yelled. "She dared to come into my base and use my equipment! I simply returned the favor!"
Dib had no trouble translating that statement. "So…you stole from her."
"Lies! Lies and slander!"
"Um…guys?" Midge interrupted, looking warily out the window.
"You!" Zim shouted, pushing past Dib and getting into Midge's face. "How dare you show yourself before Zim, again?!"
Midge looking completely unfazed. "Did you get pink eye, or something?"
Zim made to retort before he felt around on his face. In flash, his contacts and wig were secured into place. Dib rolled his eyes. "You saw nothing, Midge-goon!"
Midge continued to look unimpressed. "Yeah…Dib came to check on you."
"I did not!" Dib shouted defensively.
"Aha! You came to discover what my latest genius plan of conquest is!" Zim exclaimed, turning back to Dib. "I'll have you know, Dib-worm, that you will never uncover my plot in time. NEVER!"
"ZIM!" Tak shrieked from outside. She sounded closer now.
"AHH!" Zim screamed leaping up to cling to Dib. Dib grabbed him out of instinct, attempting to steady himself. It baffled him how Zim could be so strong and yet so light.
When Dib finally realized that he was holding Zim bridal style, he dropped the Irken flat on the ground. "He's fine," Dib said. "Let's go, Midge."
"Wait!" Zim yelled, grabbing onto Dib's leg. They could hear Tak pounding at the door. "You can't just leave me here!"
"Yeah? Why shouldn't I?"
"Because…er," Zim tapped his chin. "I will destroy you!"
Dib wiggled his captive leg to no avail. "That's nothing new! Now let go of me!"
Then, Dib felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. With a frustrated sigh he pulled it out. He didn't recognize the number, but figured whoever it was couldn't be worse than Zim.
"Hello?"
"Dib! Good, Zim did give me the right number! It's Dek Nazo." Dib could hear the echo of noises outside. Dek must have been here to stop Tak. "I have sort of a favor to ask. Ah! Tak, stop!"
Dib tried shaking his leg free once more. "And I should do this for you because..?"
"Well, I figured since Zim's your friend you wouldn't want him dismembered," Dek replied casually.
"He's not my friend!" Dib yelled, stomping his free foot. Why did everyone think that?
"Ah, guess I was wrong on that account. Ah! Watch it, dammit! But, seriously, could you get him away from his base for a while? I'll distract Tak. It'll just be until she calms down."
Dib pinched the bridge of his nose. He was no where near in the mood for any of this. "Look, just let her beat him up, alright? He probably deserves it."
"What?!" Zim snapped. "Why you no good, filthy pig-weasel!"
"He can come to my house," Midge suddenly suggested. Dib turned to her, his expression severe. "Sorry, I could kinda hear him from your phone. It's not a big deal. Besides, you do owe me a T.V hang out session."
"Are you insane?" Dib asked incredulously.
"I refuse!" Zim yelled. "I will not go anywhere near that yellow vermin's lair!"
Midge looked more amused than insulted. "I have snacks," she said.
Dib looked down at Zim, who's grip on his leg had finally gone lax. The Irken actually appeared to be contemplating the offer now. Dib took the opportunity to wiggle his leg away.
"Midge, this is a bad idea," Dib told her.
Midge shrugged. "Look, I don't care either way, but we need to make this decision now," she indicated the door. Tak was still pounding on it violently. Dib could hear Dek's voice on the other side. He sighed, surveying the base for alternate escape routes. The window was a pretty good option. He looked back at Zim, surprised to see that the Irken actually looked rather scared.
"Fine," Dib conceded, nodding toward the window. It sounded like Dek had Tak preoccupied at this point. They all filed out the window and made a dash for the car. "Shot gun!"
Zim stopped outside the car. "Shot gun? This device has a shot gun?" He frowned as Dib got into the passenger seat. "I want the seat with the shot gun!"
"Sorry, Zim, Dib called it," Midge told him, revving up the engine.
"No!" Zim complained. "I want the shot gun!"
"Get back here, you disgusting wretch," they heard Tak scream. Dek yelled after her.
"Zim! Get in the car!" Dib ordered.
Zim growled but jumped into the back seat as Tak approached. Midge put the car in drive and peeled out quickly. "I only did that because the Tak-creature was after me! Not because you said so, Dib!" Zim told him.
"I don't even care," Dib grumbled.
Zim kicked the back of his seat. "You better care, Dib. Because soon I will rule this dirt ball! And all your caring will be too little too late!"
Dib sighed as they turned a corner. Dib looked behind them and saw no sign of Tak. "You can slow down now, you know?" he said to Midge.
Midge looked kind of sheepish. "Sorry," she said. "Are things always this exciting with you two?"
"Um…well…yeah," Dib admitted. "Sorry you got dragged into this." He felt Zim kicked the back of his seat again. "Zim!"
"Do not ignore me, Dib!" Zim demanded.
Dib growled before turning back to Midge. "What would you say if I told you that Zim's an alien?"
"You fiend!" Zim screamed, flailing wildly. "I mean, I am a perfectly normal human worm-baby!"
Midge shrugged. "Meh, it's whatever," she replied.
Dib stared at her. That was not a reaction he had gotten before. "Whatever? I tell you there's an alien in your back seat and you say whatever?"
"Shut your lying trash hole, Dib!"
"Stranger things have happened to me," Midge replied as they came to a stop light.
"Like?" asked Dib.
"I met Nessie once," Midge replied.
"Who's Nessie?" Zim demanded.
Dib was shocked. "You…actually met….the Lochness Monster?"
"The who-what monster?" asked Zim, his head poking between the front seats.
"Yeah," Midge replied casually, her gaze fixed to the road. "She'd a fine lady. Has three kids and everything."
Dib's look of disbelief became a full on scowl. "Great," he grumbled, slouching. "You're making fun of me."
"No, I'm telling the truth," replied Midge, taking a second to give him a pointed look. "Just because someone says something that's hard to believe doesn't mean it's a lie."
Dib's brow furrowed at those words. He couldn't help but feel like there was a double meaning there. Then, Midge was smiling and nudging his arm. "Quit pouting, Dib."
"Yeah, Dib!" Zim added. "Quit pouting like a petulant smeet, you…smeet-face!"
Dib turned around in his seat. "What the hell is a smeet?!"
"You are a smeet!" Zim retorted unhelpfully.
Midge suddenly had to make a skidded stop, causing Zim to lurch forward and slam his head into the middle console. Dib let a snicker pass his lips. "Cease your laughing, dirt-
monkey!" Zim roared as he rubbed his forehead.
Dib just laughed harder.
"Zim, could you be a dear and put your seatbelt on?" Midge asked as she used the red light to fiddle with the music choices on her phone.
"You dare order me you hellish banana of DOOM-,"
"Zim," Midge said, turning her head ever so slowly to face the Irken. Her voice was poisonously sweet, and her expression was terrifying. Dib was pretty sure her blue eyes were glowing. "Put your fucking seatbelt on."
Zim glared, but it wasn't his usual 'I'm-better-than-you-why-should-I-listen-to-you" glare. There was something else there. Something that Dib couldn't quite interpret. After a very tense moment of staring, Zim sat up in his seat and fastened his seat belt.
"Much better," Midge said cheerfully, moving the car forward as the light turned green.
Zim was still glaring at her.
As they found themselves on the far side of town, a new song began to play from Midge's phone through the speakers. Dib frowned as he realized what song it was.
You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil?
Could you be an angel?
"Why me?" she mumbled under his breath. He turned to Midge. "You have to weirdest taste in music."
"I like a lot of things," Midge replied to Dib, keeping her eyes on the road. She slapped Dib's hand as he reached for her phone. "You're not changing this one."
"Wait, I know this song!" Zim declared, sounding exuberant. "I like this one! Who is the filthy human who made this pleasant noise?"
"Katy Perry," Midge replied, giggling slightly. Dib wasn't nearly as amused.
"Dib-beast! I must find this Katy Perry and force her to be my slave!" Zim shouted, kicking Dib's chair again.
"That's not gonna happen! And quit kicking my chair!"
"NEVER!"
Dib noticed Midge turn the volume up a bit. "Yeah, I'll just jam on my own," she mumbled.
Dib glared at Zim again as he felt the Irken kick his seat for about the millionth time. "Can we please just kick him out?" he pleaded.
"Can't hear you, Dib," Midge told him. Dib frowned. The music wasn't that loud.
"Midge-,"
Instead of acknowledging Dib, Midge started singing to the song. "You're from a-whole-nother world. A different dimension. You've opened my eyes. And when you go lead me into flight!"
Dib's frown deepened. "Midge-,"
"Kiss me! K-k-kiss me! Infect me with your lovin', fill me with your poison. Take me. T-t-take me. Wanna be your victim ready for abduction!"
"You dare think you can sing better than Zim, Midge-goon?!" Zim challenged. "I will best you with my superior voice of doom!"
Dib buried his face in his hands as the two most annoying people he had ever met began singing this stupid song very loudly. Neither of their voices were very good, but at least Midge knew the words.
"Yes! When I rule this plant, the Katy Perry shall be spared, only to entertain for all eternity!" Zim said, his tone full of glee. "She will be my second personal slave!"
Dib turned and glare at him. "You're not ruling anything-,"
"Who's gonna be the first?" Midge asked humorously, cutting Dib off.
"Not that it's any of your business, Midge-goon," Zim replied, "but I plan on making the Dib my very first slave."
Dib really hated how dark and almost suggestive Zim's tone sounded. He flushed and yelled, "I'm NEVER gonna be your slave!"
"It's not that bad of an offer, Dib," Midge said. She was so obviously trying not to laugh. It annoyed him greatly. "I mean, think about it, the ruler of Earth's number one slave."
"You see, Dib-stink! Even the banana-brain sees Zim's endless generosity! You should be honored!"
"Yeah, Dib," Midge added, grinning mischievously.
Dib gave her a stern look. "Don't encourage him. His ego is already the size of Jupiter."
"Don't be stupid, Dib-worm. If I had a waffle the size of Jupiter I would know!"
Dib gave the Irken a perplexed look. "What does this have to do with waffles?"
"I don't know! You're the one bringing up egos!"
Dib stared, his frustration finally at its peak. "Those are Eggos, Zim!"
Midge squealed with laughter.
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They stopped to grab lunch at some place Dib had never been to. It look like some hipster vegan place. Midge ordered for all of them without asking while they were in the drive through. Dib stared at the food before him. It looked edible enough, he just knew there was no meat in it. And he really liked meat. But considering Midge paid for it, he wasn't going to complain. Also, it was entertaining to watch Zim pick around at it in the back seat before eventually eating his food.
Huh. So there were some Earth foods the alien could eat…
They eventually came to Midge's apartment complex, though the apartments looked more like townhouses. They were tall and thin with two stories and were made of rust-colored brick. On the side of each home was a garage. Dib looked up and notice the dark gray clouds and heard a roll of thunder. Rain started pouring as they entered the garage.
"Looks like we made it just in time," Midge said, closing the garage door with a button on her rear view mirror. She exited the car and Dib and Zim followed suit. "Well, here it is. Home sweet home."
"What are you talking about, Midge-goon?" Zim asked as they walked toward a door to the left. "I see no candies!" He jumped at a large clap of thunder. Dib snorted. "Don't you dare mock me, Dib!"
"Me?" Dib said in mock innocence. "Never."
Midge folded her arms looked at them seriously. "If the two of you break anything, you're paying for it," she warned them.
Dib threw a glare Zim's way, which the Irken eagerly returned, as they entered the house. Dib took a moment to study the interior. They had entered the kitchen, which was small and had the dining room table not three feet from it. Dib could see the living room from where he stood, and a staircase that led to the second floor.
There were no pictures on the walls. No décor, save for a clock he could see above the fireplace in the living room. Dib frowned at that. Even his house, as detached as his family could be, had at least a few family photos.
"Your dwelling is puny, Midge-goon!" Zim informed her, already beginning to examine everything without asking.
"Zim-," Dib warned, but Midge just waved her hand nonchalantly.
"It's fine. I know it's small," she said. She clapped her hands excitedly. "So! What'll it be? Video games? A movie? Should probably stay until the rain stops, huh?"
Dib eyed her for a moment. "When does your mom get home?"
"Oh, super late," Midge replied. "No worries."
"What about your dad?" Dib remembered there had been no other cars in the garage, and also that Midge had never mentioned her father.
"Oh, my dad's not in the picture," Midge said casually.
Dib felt a little guilty about bringing it up. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. You didn't know." Midge smiled up at him brightly.
He found it so odd that someone could be so friendly, especially towards him. He observed the surroundings once more, debating on whether or not to make an excuse so he could investigate a bit. Maybe Midge was harmless, but more than likely there was definitely something off.
"Midge-goon!" Zim called from the living room. "I demand to know what this device is!"
Midge came to Zim's side, Dib following after her. They looked down at what Zim was nudging with his foot. "That is an Xbox," she told him. There was no irony to her tone.
Zim looked only more baffled. "What does this…'Xbox' do?"
Midge looked at Dib. "Sheltered kid, huh?"
Dib felt his left eye twitch. She had seen Zim without his disguise, for Pete's sake! Oh well, it wasn't anything new. "Sure."
Midge only shrugged in response before turning back to Zim. "You play video games on it."
Dib could almost see the gears in Zim's head turning. It was almost endearing. Out of reflex Dib slapped his own hand.
"Um…why did you just slap yourself?" Midge asked, sounding quite concerned.
"Er…mosquito," Dib told her. He looked over at Zim. "You know that thing my sister's always playing? It's kinda like that."
Zim looked a little less confused, but still said nothing in reply. "We could play something if you want," Midge suggested.
When Zim still didn't respond, Dib sighed. He knew how to get Zim to speak. "Yeah, so I can kick his ass at Call of Duty? Yeah, right."
The glare Dib received was instantly lethal and exactly what he had intended. "We shall see who bests who at your inferior human games, you big-headed weenie!"
Dib glared back. Now he was ready to kick the Irken's ass. "Bring it, Space Boy."
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"Wow…" Midge said, her controller sitting slack in her hands. "I have never seen anyone get so many kills in a row before."
Dib was staring as well. The thunderstorm had been going strong for a while now, loud rain pelting on Midge's windows. Zim seemed to have forgotten all about it, laughing evilly
as he gunned down yet another NPC.
"These idiots dare call themselves soldiers?!" he declared. "They wouldn't last one minute against a Vortian youngling!"
Dib eyed him. "You do know they're not really people, right?"
"SILENCE!"
Dib sighed, but continued to watch Zim play. The Irken's face was twisted in pure concentration. For the first time, Dib could actually believe that Zim had been trained since birth to seek and destroy. He was so used to him being so…chaotic. Seeing him actually appear calculating over a game was fascinating.
"You just slapped yourself again," Midge pointed out as Dib rubbed his stinging arm.
"Shut up," he told her, his golden eyes narrowed.
"Dib-stink you shouldn't hurt yourself," Zim said lightly. "I hurt you enough for the both of us."
Dib face-palmed. "I'm almost tempted to just walk home." Almost being the key word. Midge's place was quite a ways from his own, and the storm showed no signs of letting up.
Suddenly, a loud gurgle filled the room. Dib felt his cheeks color in embarrassment as both Midge and Zim stared at him.
"Dib-worm?" Zim asked, looking sincerely confused as he reached over and poked Dib's belly. "What was that? Did some filthy, inferior species lay eggs in your stomach?" His expression became furious as he grabbed Dib by his shirt. "Tell me who did this, Dib! They will pay dearly for tampering with Zim's property!"
"I am NOT your property," Dib informed him. He pulled free of the Irken's grip and glanced up at the clock on the wall. Was it really already that late? "No wonder I'm hungry."
Midge looked up as well. "Hm. I can make food, if you want. I'm used to making dinner."
Dib was suddenly reminded of Midge's choice for lunch, and was unable to help it when he cringed. "Will it be more vegan stuff?"
Midge gave him a slight frown. "For your information, I have several food allergies."
Dib couldn't help but feel a bit sheepish. "Oh." He shifted in his seat. Midge was stilling looking at him expectantly. "Are you sure you wanna cook? It'd probably be easier just to take us home."
"I hate driving in the rain," Midge replied, getting up from the couch and setting her controller down. She made her way to the kitchen, and Dib peered over to see her rummaging through her fridge and cabinets. "I have the stuff to make spicy coconut curry."
"I refuse to touch you planet's disgusting excuses for sustenance!" Zim cried.
Midge rose a brow. "You ate what I bought you for lunch," she pointed out.
"LIES!"
Dib rolled his eyes. Leave it to Zim to deny something like that, even with two witnesses standing there.
However, Dib had to admit that lunch hadn't been bad – just not necessarily his favorite thing – and he wasn't one to turn down free, home cooked food.
"Sure. Why not?" Dib told her.
Midge beamed.
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Midge cooked while Zim and Dib switched gears to play some Left 4 Dead. They mostly argued over weapons and insulted each other, but managed to actually cooperate rather well. Dib wasn't too surprised by this. Pretty much any time he and Zim worked together it wasn't much different.
By the time the curry was ready Midge's apartment smelled amazing. She beckoned the boys to her small dining room table, where Zim and Dib sat on opposite ends. Dib, who was pretty famished at this point, wasted no time digging in. The curry wasn't bad, maybe a bit spicier than what he was used to but he could handle it. He just wished it had some chicken in it or something.
Dib's brow furrowed. He remembered Midge saying something about food allergies. He also knew pretty well all the things Zim couldn't eat, yet he had eaten the food from the vegan place with no problem. He spared the Irken a glance. His eyes widened in surprise when he noticed that Zim was not only eating the curry, but there was no flinching, no hacking, and no weird skin reactions.
"Well, well, looks like someone's enjoying their dinner," Midge said, giving Zim a sly grin.
Zim looked up mid-slurp and scowled. "It's not terrible."
"Uh huh."
Dib decided he might as well try to ask. "Hey, Midge? What kind of food allergies do you have?"
Midge tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Oh, dairy, eggs, gluten. I also buy everything organic just to be on the safe side."
Dib considered this information. He didn't know about gluten, but he knew basically any food that came from an animal made Zim sick. Then, something Midge said caught his attention. "You buy the groceries?"
Midge shrugged. "My mom's always working. I pretty much just use her credit card." She looked back over at Zim, smiling when she found that he was almost done with his food. "You sure are being quiet, Zim."
Dib snorted. "For a change."
Zim glared at the two of them. "Foolish worm! I'm merely being silent because I am plotting you demise! It has nothing to do with this magical curry!"
Midge gave a small giggle. "Sure."
Dib watched Zim, taking his focus away from getting more information out of Midge for the time being. It was very amusing how the Irken pretended not to like the curry. It was…kind of cute. "AH!" Dib cried as hot curry splashed across his face and shirt. Apparently his subconscious had hated that thought so much that he'd accidentally slapped his spoon, sending the liquid flying out.
"You okay?" Midge asked.
"Yeah," Dib said, pulling his soaked collar from his neck. "Where's your bathroom?"
"Upstairs. First door on the right."
Dib nodded and rose from his seat, making his way to the stairs. He took another glance around at the small apartment. It really was tiny. He remembered Midge saying her mother was a surgeon. Surely they could afford better than this? Then again, that and Midge's old car with the faded paint could be easily explained. Different people valued different things, after all. And if the car had been purchased by Midge, herself, he could totally respect that.
However, what bothered him more was the condition of the apartment. Not only were the walls bare, but the place was ridiculously clean. He understood that some people were far neater than him, but this was…unnatural. He couldn't spot one speck of dust or one smudge of grime anywhere. Not even when he entered the bathroom. Everything looked completely pristine. Maybe it was because Midge and her mother had just moved?
Dib pondered for a bit as he cleaned himself up, debating on whether or not he should investigate further. A small part of him told him that that would be a terrible violation of Midge's privacy, but he easily ignored that. He'd been sneaking in and out of Zim's base to plant cameras for almost seven years now. Privacy was the lowest on his priority list.
The bottom line was, Midge was weird. She'd popped up out of no where and seemed to make it her mission to become Dib's friend. Maybe a few years earlier he would have been more appreciative, but after years of being mocked and teased and even used for his intelligence, he wasn't buying it. And he couldn't rest until he got to the bottom of this, whether anything paranormal was involved or not.
As he exited the bathroom, he listened out for any sign that Midge would come for him. All he heard was Midge and Zim talking, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Assured that he was safe, he crept to the nearest bedroom and began his search.
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