I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters

I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters

--

He had no concept of time, no idea how long he sat there with his head buried in Lily's neck, tears streaming down his face and dampening the soft material of her dressing gown. He felt so safe, so protected, that he found it hard to believe he could ever let her go. She rubbed her back, in a way so similar to his beloved guardian Eva, that he felt truly at home for the first time in a long while. Her small arms around his chest somehow made his breathing and heart rate slow to normal, his loud sobs dying down, even though the tears continued to fall. She made a move to release him, her grip around his back lessening...

"Don't let go..." he whispered helplessly, holding her tighter to him, "Please don't let go... not yet... don't let go yet..." His helplessness, his utter sense of defeat, called to her so greatly that she could feel her own tears building in her eyes, burning at them, hot and stinging and threatening to spill over.

"I won't." She said quietly, hearing the crack in her own voice and wishing above all else that she could be slightly less emotional, slightly less open to the hurt of people around her. "I promise I won't let go," she whispered, and she knew that he'd heard the difference in her voice, heard the tears that threatened to break out. He lifted his head, his blue eyes glistening with tears that still fell silently down his face as they met her own, slightly wet, grey eyes, which shone out in the darkness.

He felt guilt wash over him, yet couldn't bring himself to let go, to let her leave him alone in the cold Common Room where he would dwell only on his nightmares.

"Are you ok?" Lily asked tentatively, and for the first time, Ricardo noted the way she bit her trembling lip, the way her hair was mussed on one side...

"I'm fine..." he said numbly. He knew it was unconvincing, and he knew that she knew it. With a sigh, he whispered. "No... I'm not..." and he pulled her close again, desperate to feel that closeness once more, to have her holding him and keeping him safe... It was a wonderful and horrifying thing to learn, that while James had been keeping him sane, calming him down for the last six years, James could not, would not, have brought the same calm to Ricardo that Lily did now, as she held him close and allowed him to cry unashamedly on her shoulder.

"Do you want to sit down?" Ricardo said eventually, reluctantly releasing her and pulling himself up to sit on the sofa, putting his face in his hands in utter helplessness. He kneaded his eyeballs with them, trying to stem the flow of tears as he felt the sofa dip next to him, where she sat down lightly and silently. He could feel her eyes on him, and felt the urge to look round and meet them, to hold her gaze and take the reassurance that he saw in their grey depths.

"What was it?" she asked after several moments, and he looked at her carefully, seeing mild intrigue, but, more obviously, concern.

"A dream," He said simply, blinking his tears away.

She smiled at him weakly. "They're not real though..."

Ricardo wanted to tell her; he wanted to tell her so badly that his stomach clenched and his lungs seemed compressed. He managed a gentle nod and a forced, "yeah."

"They're just dreams," Lily went on, nodding to herself.

"Yeah... course they are..." His voice was monotonous and she was, again, unconvinced.

"What happened?" She queried gently.

He shook his head, looking away. "I can't tell you." He said bluntly. "I'm sorry, Lily... you're just... you're too young."

The use of her first name on his lips made her stomach swoon, and she pulled her knees up to her chest, rubbing her feet gently, both in an attempt to return some warmth to them, and to hide her nerves from him. Ricardo remained oblivious as he looked back at her. "You can go back to bed if you want," he offered softly. "I don't mind. I'll be alright here, I promise, I'll just..." he trailed off, waving his hand for emphasis.

"No, I'm ok," Lily said softly. "I wouldn't... well... I wouldn't sleep well now if I went anyway."

Shame shone from Ricardo's eyes and she shook her head. "No, it's not you!" She assured him, "I just... it's late... and I don't sleep well when it's late…"

Ricardo smiled, not sure whether she was telling the truth, or if she was simply being friendly. Either way, he felt gratitude welling up in his chest. They sat in silence, and Ricardo battled with himself inwardly as he looked at the small girl who was sat shivering mere centimetres from him. He wanted to hold her, to take comfort in her warmth, feel her heart beside his, to feel the reassurance of her small body against his side, to remember how it felt to be safe, because once again, in the moments since they'd pulled apart, he was overcome with a sense of loneliness.

It wasn't in the least a sexual urge; he was not lusting after her, or craving female company in that sense, he simply needed the companionship that she brought with her, the promise of comfort that, for insignificantly short minutes, seemed to have made the dark room in which he sat slightly lighter. He made up his mind in a split second, and smiled at her. "Are you cold?"

She nodded her head slightly, and he edged closer, placing an arm gently around her shoulder and pulling her against his chest, both arms enveloping her small body. She rested her head lightly and comfortably on his chest, her breath tickling the lightly tanned skin.

"One day I'll tell you," he said suddenly, so suddenly that not even he was expecting it, and yet he was not really surprised by it.

"Really?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "Promise." And he brought a hand up to her hair, absently stroking it and taking comfort in the softness of it.

"Pinky swear?" she asked, voice rising slightly in childish amusement. Ricardo grinned, amused.

"Pinky swear." Lily smiled into his chest, hesitating momentarily before she lifted her left hand to the one that stroked her hair, pushing her little finger around his and giving it a gentle squeeze. He squeezed back, smiling, not letting go.

"They happen alot.. don't they?" Her voice was shy, almost fearful.

Ricardo nodded. "Yeah... every night."

She slid her spare arm around his back, shifting slightly closer to him. "They'll go away..." she murmured, eyes fluttering shut.

"Maybe one day..." he whispered. "I hope so..."

He held her for a long while before he realized that she had drifted off to sleep, her breath gentle and regular on his skin. He smiled, knowing he would not fall back to sleep himself, but content to hold her as he sat there, feeling blissfully peaceful as he listened to her, watching her small face with a smile on his lips.

His silent moment of tranquility was interrupted by the silky voice of Severus Snape, and Ricardo jumped, looking round to see the dark-robed Professor advancing across the Common Room, robes billowing out behind him.

"Mister Marquinez," Snape said silkily, his eyes scanning the scene before him. Ricardo started, looking down in horror at his bare chest, at Lily, in her dressing gown, with his arms still wrapped around her. "It's not what it looks like!" Ricardo said defensively, not daring to move in case he awoke her.

Snape smirked. "And what, pray tell, does it look like, Mister Marquinez? Hmm?"

Feeling his cheeks burn with guilt, he said. "It's not.. we didn't... she was just... I'm not.."

"Yes... I am sure Mister Black would see things your way, especially if you were to explain your near nakedness in such close proximity with his sister..." his smirk could not have been more pronounced. "Perhaps you should accompany me to my office, Mister Marquinez, and we can discuss this properly." The emphasis on that final word made a lump suddenly appear in his throat, and he could not seem to displace it.

Ricardo nodded, slowly and shakily disentangling himself from Lily, rather reluctantly releasing her finger from his and gently lowering her to the cushions, resting her head down lightly before following Snape, feeling both sheepish and embarrassed.

--

He'd been in the Head of House's office before on numerous occasions, with James after particularly large pranks, or by himself after he jinxed people in the corridor... but until now, he had never been honestly scared of what could happen to him there. Snape was known for being lenient to his own students, yet knowing that Snape had a certain bond with Lily and James' mother was enough to turn his stomach and make him want to vomit.

Snape took a seat, his dark eyes searching as Ricardo tried not to look guilty. It was rather difficult though, given the rather compromising position he had just been discovered to be in.

"Perhaps, Mister Marquinez, you should explain yourself, and quickly, if you wish to remain at Hogwarts past morning."

Ricardo looked at the floor, feeling his mouth go dry. "It was just... she came down and I was... we didn't do anything!"

Snape spoke again, firmly. "I said, explain yourself, Mister Marquinez, not 'blabber excessively until I am driven to an early grave'."

Ricardo closed his eyes briefly, then met Snape's dark eyes with his own. "I had a... nightmare. And she was... she came to the Common Room... I don't know why... but she woke me up and... kept me company." He wondered vaguely if Snape would believe him, or if, had Ricardo been hearing this story from someone else, he himself would have. It struck him that he would not, and was all but preparing himself for expulsion when Snape spoke, surprisingly softly and with something akin to understanding in his silken voice.

"Am I to understand that you are experiencing the same dreams that Mister Black explained to me before term, that meant you required his... company...?"

Ricardo felt embarrassment flushing his cheeks, but knew that, had Snape not known his pathetic story, he would have already been sent packing.

"Yes." Ricardo said quietly.

"In which case," Snape said, rounding the desk and looking at him carefully, "I would advise a Draught of Dreamless sleep."

"Don't you think I've tried that?" Ricardo snapped angrily. He regretted it instantly as he saw the Professor's dark eyes flash.

"I warn you, Mister Marquinez, that it is not in your best interest to yell at me, especially while I hold your possible future at this school in the palm of my hand!"

Ricardo nodded. "I'm sorry Professor."

There was a stretched silence, during which Ricardo was certain the Professor delighted in watching him stew with fear and guilt. "I still fail to see, Marquinez, how you found yourself in such a compromising position with your best friends' sister."

"I... it just happened... I felt safe..." it sounded pathetic, and he knew it.

"You realize that Miss Black's parentage is one of notoriety, I assume?"

Nodding, he replied bluntly, "yes."

"In which case, I would not advise such close proximity with Sirius Blacks daughter in future. If you had witnessed his... protective qualities, as I have, you would realize that there is little he would not do to someone who he thought posed a threat to a member of his family... his daughters and wife most of all." Ricardo did not ask what he meant; he was quite sure he did not want to know.

"She's just a friend..." Ricardo said helplessly.

"A friend who is six years your junior, and with whom any sexual contact is most definitely prohibited!"

Ricardo's head snapped up so fast it cracked. "Excuse me? I just told you, nothing happened!"

"Perhaps not yet, Mister Marquinez, but the outsider who views the two of you in nightclothes and bare-chested may not be as understanding as I have been."

James.

Both Ricardo and Snape thought it, and guilt flooded Ricardo's stomach.

"I promise I didn't..."

"It is not I that requires that assurance!" Snape stalked over to the door and pulled it open. "You are dismissed."

Ricardo stared at him, then nodded. "Goodnight Professor." He walked out, and the door was shut behind him without another word.

--

He walked past the sofa quietly, looking down at Lily, whose eyes were closed in peaceful slumber, and whose hand held lightly onto the tassels of the sofa. Smiling weakly, Ricardo picked his wand up from the table in front of the chair, waving it briefly. A green blanket fell lightly over her small body, tucking itself lightly around her to keep her warm.

"Night Lily," he whispered quietly. He bent over her briefly, pressing his lips to her forehead in gratitude, knowing she would never know he had done so, but feeling it necessary just to show his gratitude towards her. She stirred slightly, and he stood up slowly, leaving her sleeping soundly and returning to his bed, head swimming with mixed emotions he could not decipher.

--

He didn't sleep again. Instead, he lay in his bed fighting with himself, listing all the reasons that he shouldn't feel guilty about holding her so close, and feeling completely at ease with her breath on his bare skin… and yet however he looked at it, however innocent he made himself out to be, he could not shake the feeling that he was betraying James' trust by holding his younger sister like that. Was it really such a bad thing for him to hold Lily as he had done, or to press a kiss to her forehead in gratitude? He tried to tell himself no, that it was natural to need her physical closeness, that there was nothing wrong with being close to his friends sister, that it was simply because she was the only person in the room, the only person who was there to comfort him.

Yet it was James' sister. James, who he had sworn never to hurt, never to betray. James, who had always been there for him, comforting him on nights where he had nobody else to turn to… He couldn't understand why suddenly James' comfort seemed so lacking, so insignificant. Was it simply that Lily had given him that compassion, that comfort that he so longed for? He told himself, as he listened to James' gentle breathing on the other side of the room, that James would put his arms around him if he so wished, though the thought made Ricardo cringe somewhat; he would not hold James' head to his chest and stroke his hair after all.

--

He could hardly hold interest in conversation for more than a minute at breakfast, and though he joined in with James and Deneb's conversation regarding a girl on the Gryffindor table, he couldn't help but feel as though he wasn't all there. He felt distracted, guilty and confused, and when he stood up to leave, he was confronted with the young girl who had fallen asleep in his arms mere hours previously. He smiled at her, his stomach churning, knowing that his face betrayed the nerves and complete perplexity that he was feeling. He saw the smile she sent his way, which showed confusion and hurt that he couldn't help but feel responsible for, and he left the room quickly, trying to forget the fact he'd cried so easily in her arms.

--

He struggled through a double period of Potions, during which Snape eyed him like a hawk, as though he expected Ricardo to pull Lily out of his cauldron and begin cuddling and caressing her. Ricardo worked even harder than usual, concentrating every ounce of brainpower he possessed on every single task he set his mind to. He sliced his ingredients with an accuracy that surprised even him, he read and re-read every line of the instructions, despite knowing each by heart, and he stirred and counted with such deliberation that James and Deneb both questioned his unusually quiet state. He shrugged it off, attempting to sound cool, and yet when he met James' eyes, he felt that his friend must have read the lies and deceit from his irises, and tore his gaze away hurriedly.

Snape looked out to spite him, and claimed his Potion to be 'passable', scratching a black, spikey 'A' onto his parchment, to the shock of his friends and classmates. Ricardo met Snape's dark eyes, and nodded his understanding before sitting back down and waiting for James and Deneb, who both returned, bewildered, with E's scratched on their parchment, despite the fact their potions had turned a horrific green, instead of the soft lilac colours that the textbook- and Ricardo's own potion – demonstrated.

--

Another one up… Albeit a little short, but it's a necessary break. Obviously, I couldn't put a lot of dialect in there between Ricardo/Lily during the night because he just needed a hug (awwwwww).

Unfortunately I won't be able to update for another week (at least) because I'm off on holiday and doubt I'll get any internet access on my laptop.

Anyway, please leave reviews for when I return, and I'll get back to work as soon as I'm home…

Pinky swear :p

Feel free to read the other stories as well and keep yourself amused!

Mage of the Heart