With a clunk and the sound of rolling glass, a blue Memory rolled along the track to chink against those already lining the shelves. The noise sounded loud in the silence, as well as the silence that followed. It was almost as blue a void as the Memory itself, replaying over and over within its smooth surface. The Emotions gazed at it sadly; their mood equally dismal. Even Joy felt dowsed in a sudden depression.

They let Sadness drive.

It seemed appropriate, under the circumstances. There was no reason to resist it, and certainly no reason to ignore it. The Emotions all removed their hands, allowing the blue-shaded emotion to take complete control. Sadness looked up at the screen, longing and sorrow visible to an almost heart-rending extent. Her chubby fingers moved slowly over her section of the console, causing a blue glow to emulate from within its various, inner workings. It was almost a calming sight, at least to the Emotions themselves. Blue, to them, meant correction; a righting of wrongs.

Or, at least, it had been in the past.

Riley gazed into the flames of the campfire before her, causing the warm, orange glow to illuminate every corner of Headquarters. It was calming; almost mesmerizing. But, across the console under Sadness's direction, lights blinked and flickered, indicating that not all was right with Riley. A circle over here told of the stomach ache the young girl was experiencing. A triangle over there was warning that Riley's depressive moods were higher than normal. And a square on the lower part of the panel flashed blue, indicating that tears were ready and waiting to fall. In short...

Riley was homesick.

Oh, how she wished that she had paid more attention to her parents before they had left. She wished that she had soaked up her mother's worried affection; let her family hug the living daylights out of her. She'd give anything to be back home now. Back around familiar surroundings and familiar sounds. A tear rolled down her cheek. She missed home so much.

The day itself had gone wonderfully. Riley had been filled with Joy all throughout the morning and afternoon. She had been swimming, hiking, eaten two delicious meals, and had laughed more than she had in a long time. She even tried the ropes course, despite a twinge of Fear. The food at the camp was fantastic; they even let her have seconds of dessert, and through it all Riley had not even thought of home. Things had been great. A dream come true.

Until darkness fell.

Images of her home; of her family and belongings filled her thoughts, and no matter how hard Joy tried to dislodge them, there was just no getting rid of them. It had started at dinner, when her mind had wandered to Mom's cooking, and things had just gone downhill from there. She all at once had no desire to be at camp. When Joy tried to recall some fun Memories from the day to shift Riley's mood, for some reason the Memories would not come. The recall tubes were perfectly functional, but, for some reason, they were left with nothing but new, troubled thoughts. The entire system seemed intent on Riley being miserable. And since they had no other choice, the Emotions let her be. Reluctantly.

"Why is she acting like this?!" Disgust asked in frustration. In her mind, it was ridiculous that all their fun and excitement should be ruined by the string of thoughts now occupying Riley's thinking. Mom and Dad were cool. Okay; really cool. But it would be very uncool to let anyone know that Riley believed that. To cry, as Riley certainly appeared to be nearly capable of, would be humiliating. They could see all the other children and their counselors around the fire pit, faces glowing in the warm light; smiles of happiness pasted deeply in their expressions. As far as she could tell, Disgust saw that Riley was the only one who was having any trouble. If she cried now, everyone would see her. What would the other kids think?

Anger rolled his eyes, gesturing with a hand back toward the way he guessed Riley's parents might be. "She misses home, just like when we moved to San Francisco!" He snorted, crossing his arms across his wide chest in great irritation. "And we all remember how well that all worked out."

Fear sent Anger a frightened glance, before flitting his eyes to Joy and Sadness. It had been five months now, since Riley had nearly run away, but the Memory was still ingrained in each and every one of their minds. Fear could remember the emptiness and pent-up sorrow that Riley had been harboring. He could remember how the various Personality Islands had started to shut down and crumble. It had truly been the worst day of his life. He had been certain that it was the end; for all of them as well as Riley. After all, how would Riley be...well, Riley, when she had literally been falling apart from the inside? How does one even fix something like that? And, at the time, Fear had really believed that there had been no cure at all. If any existed, he might have stacked his bet on Joy. But it had been Sadness who had saved the day in the end. Who ever could have guessed how healing a good cry could be?

But that didn't mean that Riley had been healed immediately. She still missed Minnesota. She missed Meg, and the team, and her old home. And the threat, at least, in Fear's understanding, was always there that everything might crumble again. Riley had far more Personality Islands now than she had ever had before, but just how strong were they? What one thing could happen that could cause it all to fail, just like before? Fear had come to realize just how fragile Riley was on the inside, and it terrified him. Now that Anger was bringing it back up, his extensive, Possible Disaster List was growing in his mind.

What if Riley gets sick? What if Riley gets hurt? What if Mom and Dad forget about us, or got the wrong pick-up date? What if something important comes up while she's gone?

The possibilities were endless. Of course, there were other possible chaos that might ensue, but Joy had told Fear that San Francisco wasn't home to monsters, and earthquakes were non-existent. Good thing, or he was sure he'd be completely freaked out by now. But that didn't allay any of his other fears. What if something happened?

Without meaning to, Fear leaned against a lever on his section of the console. It lit up in a gentle purple, and Riley started trembling slightly, before he realized and quickly backed away. Sadness, large eyes turning to him for just a moment, seemed to study him before going back to work, the console once more becoming encased with blue. He hadn't meant to touch anything. That was one thing about the console he didn't like; it was so easy to disturb, especially lately. Ever since the move. More things to worry about...

"Aw, everything'll be just fine," Joy's positive character insisted, breaking into the purple Emotion's thoughts. "This is just a little homesickness. Remember, a few years ago, the first time we did a sleepover at Meg's?"

Fear remembered. Just like at camp, everything had been fun and good during the day. But once night had hit, all Riley had wanted was to go home. Meg had tried to console her, and had succeeded; though not before a good portion of the night had been spent in dark, negative misery. Misery and fear. The darkness in Meg's room had seemed so much more noticeable away from home. Every sound had just reminded Riley of how much she wanted to be in her own bed. Naturally, when morning had come, Riley had forgotten all about the night before and had continued on with her fun day with her friend, as if nothing had ever been wrong. But Fear hadn't forgotten.

"Yeah, we remember," Anger huffed, glaring up at the Viewscreen.

Joy smiled. "Well, I'm sure it's just like that. Riley will go to bed, fall asleep, and then have a fantastic day tomorrow! All she needs is a distraction." Her eyes lit up as movement made its way onto the screen. "Look! Marshmallows! And chocolate! The councilors are bringing out the makings for S'mores!" Joy moved forward, getting Sadness's silent permission before pressing a series of buttons. To all their relief, the console responded and a number of the flashing lights went out.

A small smile made its way across Riley's face.

"All we need to do is keep her occupied so that she can't think about how much she misses home." Joy pressed the console, causing Riley's arm to shoot up in anticipation of receiving the soon-to-be snack. It was a simple plan really. Very simple. And it might have worked...if not for what soon followed.

Riley's parents had informed them weeks ago that this particular camp was a "religious" camp. Riley had really been too excited to care, and her parents hadn't seemed to mind. None of them ever went to church, unless you counted once or twice at Christmas. But, at least it had been sure to be a safe environment; even if they did talk about a lot of things Riley just didn't quite understand. It was camp, and that was really all she cared about. They played games, they hiked, they had a swimming pool. They even had a farm right next door; close enough that they could walk over and pet the horses that grazed there. They had something called 'Morning Praise Time', which Riley actually really liked. The music wasn't like the hymns she was used to hearing on those rare trips to the nearby congregation. These songs were fast and loud. The kind she could really jump around to, as they were encouraged by the councilors to do. Though she had no idea what the songs were even remotely about, Riley found herself in awe at how different...how normal they sounded. Some of them even resembled rock, pop, and rap. Not that Riley really liked rap, but the upbeat stuff she certainly did.

All in all, it wasn't so bad. Anger had been worried about the 'religious people' pushing their beliefs on them. He would have turned completely against the trip if they had. But they didn't. They shared interesting stories, some of which Riley recognized from the other couple of times she had gone to church. They didn't make all that much sense, but she sort of liked them. Bible study had been a little slow. Actually, kind of painful. All she wanted was to get to the more physical activities. Disgust had certainly agreed. If Riley had wanted to read, she would have stayed home. Camp was supposed to be fun. Sitting still was not Riley's idea of fun. But she had managed to control her squirming, staying respectful even when her mind and body wanted nothing more than to take off and release all its pent-up energy.

But now, as the children, Riley included, sat around the fire, jostling gently to get a good toasting spot, they roasted their marshmallows in perfect, childly bliss. Homesickness momentarily forgotten, Riley nestled down to enjoy the remaining hours before bed. All at once, one particular councilor came forward, raising her hand to get their attention.

"Hello everyone,'' her voice called out, and the Emotions recognized her as one of Riley's favorite camp staff members; a woman she had really grown close to throughout the day. She was kind, and gentle, and very cheerful. She almost seemed to glow with positivity, and the Emotions thought her relation to Joy was uncanny. "You can keep roasting your marshmallows and stuff, but while you do so, I want to tell you a story."

Joy's eyes lit up at once. "A story? Yes! Just what Riley needs right now!" Anger muttered something beside her about it hopefully not being as boring as Bible Study, but Joy ignored him. She turned a knob that focused Riley's attention. To either side of her, Fear and Sadness backed away slightly from the console, unneeded at the moment. Joy smiled. Even though she understood the importance of her fellow Emotions, she still enjoyed having the console to herself. She felt she had always been meant to be Riley's main Emotion, and, while the others certainly viewed her as such, it was sometimes very hard to be so. But, slowly, she was beginning to realize that her job wasn't to control, but to regulate just when it was appropriate for each Emotion to do their part. It didn't always turn out that way, since they couldn't always seem to work together, but things were getting better. That was why Joy felt so glad when things actually did work out, and she witnessed her companions stepping forward and back on their own accord. Like right now.

Joy spread her shining fingertips over the console, ready to react as the councilor started her story.

"My name is Andria Webber*. I'm a councilor here, and have been for several years. I used to come here when I was your age, and, well, from then on I was hooked. I started in the kitchen, and worked my way up. This is my third year as councilor." She took a breath. " A lot of you know me quite well now, even those of you who only met me today. We've had a lot of fun, and I have been told by many of you that you think I am a very happy person." She chuckled. "For that, I thank you. It means a lot to hear that, but I haven't always been that way. I was a very happy kid when I was all your ages. I lived with my father in Texas. My mother had died when I was little, so I loved my father very much."

"That's...sad." Sadness's eyes welled up with tears of compassion. What this poor girl must have gone through. Gently, she reached out and brushed a button that lowered Riley's enthusiasm with a tinge of disappointment. What would Riley do if she ever lost Mom? It was unthinkable.

Even Joy seemed a little dimmed by the words. "Maybe it...will get better?" She leaned forward, watching now even more intently.

"I loved to go on trips with my father, and we did everything together."

Fear suddenly felt a little uneasy, like he always did whenever Riley was reading a suspenseful book. Like when Riley watched a movie with a particularly foreboding beginning. "She s-said 'did everything together'," he pointed out shakily. It wasn't really necessary, since, just by the other Emotions faces, he could tell that they too had caught on as he had already to the woman's choice of phrasing.

"My family had never really gone to church, and I had never really given much thought to God, or Heaven, or anything like that. I just lived my life and didn't really think about one day until the next."

"Oh, great," Anger hissed under his breath. "Its more of that stupid, Bible stuff." He fisted a hand and hit down on a button that made Riley roll her eyes. "We heard enough of this earlier, why do we need to hear more?!" He turned inquiringly to Joy, but found her captivated by the councilor's words. Anger snorted, suddenly remembering that happiness wasn't the only feeling that stemmed from Joy; but also curiosity.

"Then, my father got cancer."

It was like a blow to the gut. Cancer? Riley felt mixed emotions at that. Anger that such a terrible disease existed, Sadness and sorrow for the woman before her whose voice she was certain had broken for just a moment. The smile had become weaker, more of a grimace.

"I was so scared. I didn't want to lose him, like I had already lost my mother." Her voice quivered, Sadness was sure of it. "So I did something I had never done before. I prayed. I made a deal with God. I told Him that if he kept my father safe, then I would go to church more often, and read my Bible. I was certain that my father would be alright now; after all, God and me had a deal. But what I didn't know was that people don't make deals with God. God has a plan, and we can't change it."

Fear edged closer to the console, eyes locked on the downcast woman on the Viewscreen. She looked so beautiful in the firelight. Her hair was down, free to blow in the gentle wind, while her baggy T-shirt fluttered around her thin frame. The other Emotions were too captivated to see him reach out and lightly flip a switch. Riley felt a chill of fear run up her spine. She knew what was going to happen, just as Fear did. Stories like this only ended one way.

"Ironically, it wasn't the cancer that killed my father. He used to work for a trucking company, delivering supplies and goods from one state to another. I often went with him, sometimes sleeping on the little bed behind the driver's seat. But one night, I got a cold. Had a fever, so he made me stay home. I was upset of course, knowing that I wouldn't see him for a few days. But he insisted. He left and I stayed. The next morning, I received the news that he had died in an accident."Her breath hitched as she tried to hold back a sob. Sadness could see the subject still stung her greatly. "I was so...so angry with God. I felt as though he had gone back on his promise...That he had broken our little deal." The conviction in the woman's eyes was heartrending. "I couldn't believe that my father was gone...and I blamed God for it. I was convinced that God must have hated me, why else would he torture me like that? I was eleven then. After that, life got harder..."

But Riley didn't consciously hear the rest.

Fear's sweating hands griped the levers on the console so tightly his knuckles had turned white. He was refusing to listen any longer, a horrible realization dawning on him. His message and influences on Riley were so strong at this moment, that those in Headquarters could no longer even hear the councilor's story. It was as if someone had hit the mute button on life. All they could hear was Riley heart thumping in her ears, and all they could see was a haze of dancing firelight as Riley's eyes welled up with unshed tears. A new fear, terrible, twisted, and incredibly strong, wound its way into the inner workings of Riley's mind. Fear wasn't sure whether he was supplying her with this new horror, or if she were supplying it to him. They were as one, united in one frightening thought...

What if she lost someone she loved?


*Andria Webber = Not her real name.

Hello again! Yes, this is a Christian story. It does say this is a drama/spiritual story. But please understand that I am not trying to push anything on anyone; remember, this is a true story. It is an account of something that happened to me. Well, besides the people in my head. But my Emotions were just like this, I can remember it so clearly. I went to a camp, had a great time, and really did hear a story very similar to the councilor's in this story (not exactly the same, since her real story she probably wouldn't want me to write). But her story scared me...terribly. And it set in motion a string of events that might have killed me...but, in the end, actually saved my life.

So please, Christian or no, don't be turned off by any of this. I mean, don't read this if you don't like it, and don't feel guilty if you want to take my story out of your favorites. I won't be offended. :) Just, please keep in mind, this isn't just something I'm writing off the top of my head.

Riley is me.

Thank you. :)