There was a constant humming, a vibration that gently bounced his entire body as he was curled into a little ball and a comforting warmth beamed a top of himself. However, it was dark so he only listened, felt, and smelled his environment. This meant he was most likely sleeping because a sublte wave of tiredness washed over him, but it was a tiredness that was interrupted by his current state so the seemingly short nap would have to suffice. Gamzee doesn't remember how he got like this and where he is, but he isn't opening his eyes anytime soon, even if he couldn't fall back asleep.
But eventually, his lids decide that they would flutter open to look around his new location. The first thing he got was a face full of hot, blindingly bright sunlight. At that, his eyes shut quickly again because it caused a throbbing pain on both sides of his temples.
Let's try that again, shall we?
Once again, his eyes dared to open and adjust to the brightness, figures around him slowly taking form. A windshield... cushioned seat... He was in a car. But after one second, he recognized this was Karkat's pickup truck, and the owner himself was to his left with his eyes glued to the road and hands firmly gripping on the black leather steering wheel. Gamzee found out that he was lying down in the cushioned seat, so he decided to slowly prop himself up to sit correctly. Karkat noticed he was up, but didn't look over. He brought his fist to the corners of his eyes, rubbing out whatever crap that had accumulated there when he was asleep. After that, his gaze lazily fell onto the window, watching trees and houses pass by.
"That was a hell of a stunt you pulled back there." Karkat growled, finally. The teen only responded by turning to look at his friend. The cancer's shaggy black hair was a mess, but was perfectly arranged to look attractive, and his peachy colored skin contrasted against the raven locks. He still was looking at the road with that grimacing face of his that never seemed to fade completely.
"I mean, I knew you were gay, but holy FUCK I never would have thought you had a thing for Tavros, of all people! You could've at least told me about it, man. I'm not one to judge but, c'mon, we're best pals." Gamzee's eyebrows knitted in confusion, still staring at Karkat. His cardinal colored eyes took a quick glance at Gamzee to see his full puzzled expression.
"You don't even remember, do you?"
"Remember what, best friend?"
"Oh my fucking god." Karkat rolled his eyes. "You fucking kissed Tavros in front of everyone, doofus!" The words stabbed into Gamzee, his eyes widening and mouth parted slightly from what he just heard. He wanted to say 'What?' or 'How?' or something like that, but he really couldn't because he literally has no recollection of ever doing so. "He had to shove your sorry stoned ass off of him because you were climbing all over the poor kid like a fucking jungle gym! And then the guy was left alone to tend to the group to explain what the fuck was going on between you two." Karkat ranted, still not looking at Gamzee. He let out a frustrated sigh as Gamzee fumbled with his fingers, looking down at his knuckles trying the figure out what the hell possessed him to do that. No. Wait. He didn't have to think. Because he already knew what was fucking him up and he really didn't want to admit it right now.
"So you have some apologizing to do. To everyone. Especially Tavros." His snarly voice concluded, glancing at Gamzee for some sort of reaction. The clown felt a little guilty doing all that whack shit in front of everyone, and especially when he was baked like a motherfucking pie. His emoitons weren't well concealed and Karkat could tell that his buddy was down in the dumps.
"Look man, I know you make some mistakes, but you of all people know this was one that kind of got out of hand, and hurt some feelings. Tavros was pretty fucking humiliated after that. Didn't really seem like the best way of coming out to all of your closest friends." The male lectured, knowing whether he intended to offend Gamzee or not. "Just saying."
The houses that flew by the window dramatically increased in quality when Karkat took a turn. They were both entering Gamzee's neighborhood.
"Where are you taking me?" Gamzee finally asked, realizing where they were.
"Home. I'm pretty sure that you're too fucked in the head to take the rest of the day. Right?"
"Guess."
"Hmn."
And with that, the rest of the drive was silent and it was within minutes that Karkat reached Gamzee's estate. As he parked the red pick up, he killed his engine and stared at the juggalo with eyes of concern. All Gamzee could do was stare out the window, trying to think of ways to fix what he's done, even if he's still a little buzzed from the previous amount of weed intake.
"Hey," Karkat muttered, getting Makara's attention, "If you need my help, you know I'm here for you." Though his words were simple, Gamzee took them to heart. He nodded solemnly and flashed that typical smile. A lopsided grin was given in return by Karkat. After a brief bro-hug, Gamzee wobbled out of the car. He had some thinking to do.
The day was later now, and Gamzee was still pacing around the room, still waiting for the effects of the drug to ware off, but trying to figure out a solution to his problem. It was around 7:00 when he got a call from the last person he was exactly prepared to talk to. Hesitantly, he reached over to his phone and answered it.
"Heeey, Tavbrooo, what's goin' on motherfucker?" He chuckled nervously.
"G-Gamzee.. We need to, uh, talk." The 18 year old went silent, dreading the combination of those words.
"Yeah. Ok."
"Will you be able, to swing by later tonight? I mean, I guess you could sneak in, through my window. You know, when my mom is asleep, and stuff." Tavros stumbled on the other line.
"Sure, brother. I'll all up and drop by 'round midnight. That cool?"
"Y-Yeah." And with that, the line on the other end went dead with a click. A giant pit began to develop in Gamzee's stomach as he paced about, trying to figure out what ways he could apologize, allowing paranoia to take over his mind.
Midnight fell and Gamzee was walking up to Tavros's window, a painful anxiety surging through his body. He was probably shaking in his obnoxiously puffy skater shoes as he raised a knuckle to knock at the glass window gently. Wringing his hands together, he waited until the pane slid open and he was greeted by his boyfriend.
"Uh, hey there brother." Gamzee muttered, attempting to keep a smile on his face.
"Hi Gamzee." He voiced apathetically, "One sec."
Within a few seconds, Tavros wedged and knife between the screen and popped it out, allowing Gamzee to crawl in. The lanky teen stood awkwardly as Tav shut the window and turned on a light so they could see each other. Tavros was just in a shirt and some sweat pants that were knotted at the bottom due to lack of limbs. It was clear on the 17 year old's face that he's been stressing too, and Gamzee wasn't sure he should be relieved by the mutal stress levels, or he should be worried that Tavros working up and an anxious storm. There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they both attempted to identify the elephant in the room as best they could. Gamzee parted his lips to say something, but was finally interrupted with,
"D-Do you always do this?"
"Uh, do what?" He asked stupidly.
"Are you always this... O-Obsessed? With your, uh, drug habit?"
"Oh," oh god not this talk, "I, uh, I don't..?" Gamzee's eyes widened as the pupils darted about nervously, trying to see if there was some easy answer written on the walls.
"Gamzee, it's ok. I'm not... I'm not mad." Tavros said calmly. Gamzee couldn't tell if the cripple was trying to suppress his anger or his tears. But the words did make him feel a little more relieved.
"It's important to me." Gamzee said shortly, eyes shooting to the ground. Another silence.
"I thought you would, have been done with his whole habit, after the thing with your dad."
"Pft, no. This shit keeps me intact. Keeps me from all up and goin' into like, I dunno- rage mode or somethin like that." Gamzee shrugged nonchalantly. "S'like a medicine I guess. I'm calm when I'm on it, and a lot happier than I am when I'm sober."
"But what happened today-"
"-Was when I had too much for my own damn pleasure. And I am sorry. I really am. I know you weren't exactly out of the closet, hell, you weren't even in the closet to begin with in the first place, were you?" Gamzee joked.
Tavros only shook his head in response, and Gamzee swallowed hard. He walked over and kneeled down in front of Tavros, looking at him in the most sincere way possible as he grabbed reassuringly onto the other's hand.
"I am so sorry." He paced. "If I could make it up, I would, but I'm not sure what I can do."
Tavros sucked in his lips as he looked at Gamzee with his lids half open. "It would be nice," the other started, "I-I-If we told everyone properly. You know. That we're, uh, dating."
"Yeah!" Gamzee quickly agreed with a grin, "Yeah a'course I'll tell everyone! Hell, I'll tell the entire damn world that I'm with you, Tavbro! Because I love it! I love you!" Gamzee was head deep in puppy love with Tavros, there's not doubt about it.
"R-R-Really?" Tav said with a stuttering eagerness, "I l-love you too, Gamzee."
"Wicked awesome, bro!" The clown said happily, relief cooling his heavy heart and his racing blood. And so, the night ended in a heated, sloppy fondling session. Gamzee ended up spending the night, but had to leave before Tavros- more importantly his mother- woke up.
Tuesday was a lot better. Gamzee and Tavros were able to sort their situation with the crew, explaining everything (well not everything) that lead up to them being like this.
It was simple for a long time.
For a few months, they were able to act like normal boyfriends.
They went out on dates, went to local concerts, hung out mostly at Gamzee's house since his Dad hasn't been there since the last incident, rap battles, sleepovers. Both of them were able to act like a normal couple at school and in public without any sort of disturbance. Not only were they lovers, they were best friends.
As far as the two were concerned, it was smooth sailing after that.
Everything was quiet and both of the boys hoped that it would stay that way.
But then, life decides to disagree with the peace.
