Remus heaved a sigh heavier than the book he was pouring over. His entire body was one anxious, tightly wound spring. He was sure the slightest provocation would cause his spine to eject entirely from his body, leaving the earth and his spongey flesh behind as it sought a better world.
A world far away from potions class with Professor Slughorn.
"This is hopeless." He said, the worry and fear that had slowly been building from his first potions lesson now singing a full-blown orchestra. "I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail a class during our first term and look completely useless."
Remus and Lily had been perched in the library for the better part of the freezing Sunday afternoon. She had been so patient, so understanding as Remus asked the same question over and over with no real grasp or comprehension on what he was looking at. At nearly six in the evening now, the desk was strewn with attempts to recite and write the process for the exam they were to complete that following day.
"Remus, you're going to be fine. You almost got it last time around-we might even be able to try it in a cauldron before bed…" Lily said, but Remus could see the repressed flinch in the line of her body tilted over her own books. The last time she had tried to help him with the actual potion brewing he had seared one of her eyebrows off, and they both had scorch marks on their cheeks for three days.
"Lily, I can barely remember what goes in, let alone in what order. I don't understand why or how you need to mince eye of newt, or why you would want to mix newt eyeballs into anything-" Remus dropped his face into his hands. "Do they expel people for being generally hopeless?"
"Oh Remus-" He heard Lily laugh, felt her hand on his shoulder, and he glanced up at her. "Honestly, it isn't going to be so bad. You are hardly, I am sure, the first student to struggle with potions."
"But my dad is a botanist! He makes medicines and potions for a living! I've failed him." Remus dropped his hands and let his head bang against the table as he slumped forwards.
"Oh my. I never knew you were quite so melodramatic." Lily snickered, covering her grin with a hand.
Remus sighed and he sat up slowly. "Honestly, I think the best thing to do now is just try and get a decent night's sleep."
"I think, that is actually a very wise choice." Lily nodded.
They both stood, packing away their quills, inkwells, and various books. Once they had done an acceptable job of cleaning up, they started their journey through the bookshelves to the front of the library.
It was fairly late, and the library had been pleasantly silent, so it surprised Remus when he heard whispering coming from the shelves ahead of them. The voices were lowered not to be polite, but to be discreet. Remus jerked his arm out, catching Lily in the chest. Before she could make a sound of protest, he put a finger to his lips and pointed in the direction of the voices.
The pair of them crept slowly down the isle of books until they were able to hear who was speaking on the other side of the shelves. Remus recognized one of the voices immediately. It was Bellatrix Black, Sirius' cousin.
"I swear to Salazar himself, if you fuck this up it'll be the last thing you ever do." Bellatrix hissed. She sounded anxious. "And no matter what, you better not get caught."
"You know I won't get caught." A young man's voice replied. Remus didn't know the voice. He breathed in deeply, trying to get a scent on either of them. Bellatrix always smelled sickly sweet. Something she put in her hair, he was assuming. To hide the scent of it being unwashed. The boy though, held the sour tang of the potions dungeon and old cigarette smoke. It was overall dirty and Remus' nostrils flared.
"Tonight then. We'll meet at the spot where I told you." Bellatrix said.
There was a shuffle of feet, and Lily seized Remus by the arm, pulling him around another bookshelf and out of sight in case one of the pair decided to try and come back their direction. Once they were gone, Remus let out a breath, looking at Lily.
"What do you suppose that was about?" He asked, adjusting the strap of his bag.
"I don't know, but it didn't sound good. I wonder what she's up to." Lily muttered. "Knowing what I do about Bellatrix, it can't be anything other than trouble."
"Did you recognize the other voice?" Remus looked puzzled. "I feel like I've heard it before…" He couldn't recall where. They had double defense against the dark arts and some older Slytherins were PAs in that class, maybe there?
"No…I didn't." Lily frowned but shifted her books in her arms. "We should get back to the common room though, it's getting late."
Remus nodded, and he followed Lily out of the library and back towards the tower.
It took Remus forever to fall asleep that night. He had a nagging sensation somewhere in the back of his mind that he was missing something important. That he needed to be alert. He kept trying to reassure himself that everything was fine. He was fine. There wasn't any reason to be anxious. He finally drifted off to sleep somewhere around eleven.
He jolted awake suddenly to darkness. His pulse was racing, his senses keen and dangerously alert. It was late. Probably one in the morning or so. It took a wild moment in his over-alert night senses to understand what had woken him.
He could smell smoke.
Remus tore back the curtains on his bed, snatching his wand from his bedside table. "Lumos!" He hissed. In the light cast from his wand he launched himself at the bed closest to him. Sirius'. He yanked the curtains back and gave Sirius a nudge. "Sirius—Sirius wake up!"
"Huh—" Sirius rolled onto his side and peered up at Remus in the dark. "Whatsit?" He grumbled, and then he paused, his nostrils flaring. "Is that smoke?"
Sirius was out of bed as fast as Remus had been and was waking James up. Remus went to the door to their dorm, feeling the wood. It wasn't hot. They were the closest to the common room, so the fire was either above or below them. He opened the door and smoke flooded in from the crack. Remus yelped as James, who was now up and wearing his glasses, ran to the windows, throwing them open. Remus opened the door farther and saw smoke billowing up from the common room. He felt panic rushing through him, burning in his veins as he took the stairs two at a time to the upper dorms. The closest Prefect was Fabian Prewett on the second floor, with the third and fourth years. Remus threw open the door to their Dormitory, coughing.
"The Common Room is on fire!" he yelped. Though it was hardly needed. When the door opened the smoke followed him in. Curtains were being pulled back in a flurry and Remus watched, as Fabian leaped from his bed. Gideon and Caradoc were also moving. Remus could hear doors above and below opening and the cries of panicked and fearful students.
Fabian caught Remus by the shoulders, pulling him into the room. Remus had never really had a chance to see Fabian Prewett up close. They rarely ran into each other, being so far apart in age, and generally not keeping similar schedules. Remus was aware of his thin, strong fingers on his shoulders, of the waves of light blond hair that were mused and tangled from sleep. He looked at Remus making sure that he was paying attention.
"Lupin right? Bring everyone on the second floor to the Seventh Year floor while we seal off the Common Room, okay?" He instructed, his voice was smooth and calm, and Remus found himself nodding. "Good lad. Gid, you ready?" He turned to Gideon Prewett, A tall, strong shouldered boy with a mess of short, blond curls.
"You bet." Gideon nodded.
Remus turned and bolted down to the second floor, where the smoke was now thick and hot. He threw the door wide open. "We have to go up!" He called.
"On it!" James yelled back, though Remus couldn't see him through the smoke. They ushered everyone up the stairs, Remus, Sirius, James and Peter bringing up the rear. All the other students were making their way up, moving apart for the Head Boy and other two Prefects to rush down towards the blazing common room.
"What do you think happened?" James coughed, looking at Sirius. Everyone was talking and a few of the students were crying.
"I don't suppose it was the fireplace?" Remus looked between the other three in bewilderment.
"It shouldn't have been. Those are enchanted to keep something like this from happening." Sirius replied.
Downstairs they could hear things slamming, voices yelling. What sounded like McGonagall and Dumbledore now in the fray. The smoke thinned, and finally stopped. The door opened to the Common Room and moments later McGonagall was in front of them.
"Is anyone hurt?" Her voice was tense, and Remus was surprised to see her look so shaken. Her hair was down, falling over her shoulders. Her bedrobe was singed and stained with soot and smoke. She had a smudge of soot over her cheek and nose.
"I don't think so." Said a shaky voice. Kingsley Shacklebolt, a second year boy who could easily been mistaken for a fifth year.
"I want you to go to your rooms, Madame Pomfrey and I are going to make rounds, none of you are to go to the common room." McGonagall said firmly, and then turned around, heading back down the stairs before anyone could ask questions.
Remus, Peter, James and Sirius returned to their room. James' quick thinking with the window had helped keep the smoke from overtaking everything in the room. Remus sat down heavily on his bed, looking at the other boys. A dark thought was forming in his head that he didn't know if he should voice.
"I don't get it, how could something in the common room catch fire." James sat on his bed. Sirius sat next to him, and Peter flopped on the floor.
"Maybe it was Snape." Sirius tossed out, his eyes narrowing.
"I-" Remus started, and felt his cheeks grow hot as all the eyes turned to him. "I uh…I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it…but Lily and I overheard something in the library today when we were headed back." He looked at his fingers in his lap. "We overheard Bellatrix."
"Bellatrix." Sirius hissed. "What did she say?"
"She was talking to a boy." Remus explained, not missing the dark tones of anger in Sirius' voice, mingled with the storm clouds in his eyes. "They were talking about a meeting, she told the boy he better not mess something up. It sounded like they were planning something…"
"No way-" James looked at Remus with wide eyes. "Do you think-"
"Think what?" a voice from the doorway made them all jump. Fabian Prewett was standing there, his tall, lean frame was propped against the archway, dark stains of soot marred his skin, hair and clothes. "Because if you lot have any idea who decided to bring the Gryffindor Quidditch brooms up here and light them on fire, we'd sure like to know."
In the center of the common room was a massive scorch mark. The tables and furniture were all blacked and the leather had split, rolled and puckered to expose the stuffing inside. The tapestries on the wall were torched and left hanging in tatters.
Remus, James, Sirius and Peter took in the sight along with a few other students that had been brave enough to venture down the following morning. They had been given the okay to pass through the Common Room to leave the tower for classes, but McGonagall had said it would take a week for the repairs to be done.
"This is ridiculous." Remus said, staring at the spot that had been the epicenter of the broom bonfire. "Why would someone do something so dangerous?"
"I heard it has something to do with this feud." James waved a hand. "This ongoing thing between the Slytherin and Gryffindor Quidditch teams. It started a few years ago and has just gotten worse and worse."
"Whoever did it will probably get kicked off the team." Sirius snorted, hefting his bookbag up on his shoulder. He had progressively become less and less interested in how he presented himself. Today his tie was rumpled and barely knotted, untucked and vulnerable outside his sweater.
"Do you think Dumbledore was very mad?" Peter squeaked, his round blue eyes fixed on the scorch spot.
"Oh probably." James shrugged.
"I wonder how they got the password to get into the tower." Remus mused. Peter flinched. The other three turned to look at him. "Peter?"
"Well—Well I…I forgot my bag in the Great Hall Thursday. When I went back for it, someone had pulled everything out and stuffed it all back in. It didn't look like anything was missing, but…" Peter hid his face in his hands. "I was having trouble remembering the password, I wrote it down, and when I came back to the common room I couldn't find it anywhere."
"Oh no." James said quietly. "Peter, did you tell anyone."
"No. I thought I must have just misplaced it." He looked at James with terror. "What will I do?"
James looked thoughtfully at Peter, and then clapped an hand on his shoulder. "Well, what's done is done. If it was you, they got the password from, it hardly makes any difference now. Though I'd best not write down anything like that on paper from now on."
Remus was impressed with James, and Peter was looking at him with such adoration that it was a bit concerning.
"We should probably head down to breakfast." Sirius said, "I don't think we want to get caught lingering around the scene of the crime. Though…Remus, I do think you were onto something last night."
Remus fell into step beside Sirius. "Really?"
"Yeah. That seems like just the sort of thing Bellatrix would do. She's always been like that, getting way out of hand and doing things that make no sense." Sirius shrugged.
"Maybe I should tell someone what we overheard." Remus mumbled, his heart clenching as he thought about what might happen if Bellatrix found out he'd overheard her talking. Or worse yet, somehow thought Sirius had ratted her out.
"You know…" James butted between the two of them, throwing an arm over either of their shoulders. "I was thinking…we may not be able to rat her out…but I have the most fabulous idea…"
"Gentlemen. I require your utmost commitment in this devastating time."
"James, is the candle really needed?"
"Hush up Remus, it's for mood!" James frowned, the shadows cast on his face by the candle making him look quite ghoulish. The four of them were sitting in a circle in the darkness on the Dormitory floor. James was holding a candle that was in danger of dripping hot wax onto his pajama bottoms.
"Remus, let him finish." Sirius said, his eyes fixed on James and the candle. Remus wondered if he was more invested in James' speech, or the wax that was building on the candle holder.
"Thank you, Sirius." James said haughtily. "As I was saying. Utmost commitment. Dedication. So on and so forth. Are you with me?"
"I'm with you!" Peter shot his hand in the air. "What are we doing?"
James cackled as he set the candle holder on the floor in the middle of their circle. "I propose on this night, the eve of Hallow's eve, a plan. A plot. A ploy."
"James, why not just say Halloween eve?" Remus countered.
"Remus." James gave him a solid, unwavering look. "Honestly."
"Right right. Sorry. Go on. What is this ploy." Remus held his hands up in defense.
"Thank you." James said yet again. "So, as you know, a great injustice has been trespassed on our most noble house!"
"I'm not sure trespassed it the word you want there, mate." Sirius said, earning a most impatient look from James. "But it works great. I like it."
"-A most evil and terrible deed! And I say, we must plan our revenge, for tomorrow we fight!" James thrust his hand in the air, branding an invisible sword. Remus gave him a look of genuine worry.
"Revenge?" He asked.
"Revenge!" James cheered. "Because I have had the most ingenious idea. It was inspired by you, Remus. That Cauldron you blew sky high Monday was amazing."
"Unnngggg, I thought you swore not to ever speak of that again. I failed that test so badly." Remus pressed his hands to his face.
"I dunno. The smell was absolutely incredible." Sirius encouraged. He was looking at James with a deviousness that was probably illegal in some countries.
"So, my thought, is….you know how there are pumpkins all over the castle right now?" James was practically bouncing now.
"Yeah?" Peter seemed confused as to what pumpkins had to do with Remus failing potions.
"So, what we do, is we rig those pumpkins that are anywhere neat Bellatrix or the Slytherin Quidditch players. We rig them….to explode." James exposed his master plan.
"Brilliant." Sirius breathed.
"How will we do it?" Peter asked.
"Why would we do that?" Remus cringed. "Don't you think that will just make things worse?"
"Remus. Think about it like this. We are the masters. No one expects us, no one thinks a few first years could become prank masters. All we have to do is charm timers on the exploding dung bombs! I tried it on a few small ones after I was done with Broom Skills today." James grinned. "Messy, smelly pumpkin glop everywhere. It's brilliant."
"It sounds brilliant." Sirius was rapturous with the possibilities that James was extending. Remus frowned deeply. He knew he was going to lose this argument. That no matter what well meaning advice he gave, this was going to be put into motion with or without him.
And if he was honest, he really did want to see a pumpkin explode. Just a little bit.
"Alright." Remus sighed. "What do we need to do."
"Yes!" James pumped the air with his fist. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. Alright, so everyone's in."
"Definitely!" Peter nodded.
"Are you kidding?" Sirius elbowed James. "I was in before you tried to set you arse on fire with a candle."
"It's about ambiance, Black!" James retorted, and then grinned. "I am a master of mood setting."
"Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that Potter." Sirius smirked, but there was a flash of playful joy sparking in his eyes.
"Alright, James. You're the leader, tell us what you have in mind." Remus snorted.
Remus' first Halloween at Hogwarts found him standing as discreetly as possible by the doors to the great hall. It was impossibly early, and Sirius beside him smothered a massive yawn. In their pockets were the start of the days needed dose of ooze filled dung bombs. Sirius glanced in either direction, and then nodded.
"Alright, lets get in and out as quickly as possible. We'll drop 'em into the Jack O'Lanterns on the Slytherin table."
"Won't the explosion get the Ravenclaw table?" Remus mused as Sirius yanked the large door to the great hall open.
"Collateral damage, I'm afraid." Sirius shrugged.
They hurried into the empty hall, running down the length of the breakfast table. They delivered their sleeping payload of dung bombs and hurried back out of the hall and toward where they would meet with James and Peter, who were rigging all the Jack O'Lanterns that sat outside the Slytherin Dormitory.
Sirius pulled Remus up short at the delegated potions storage closet. They were both silent a moment as they caught their breath.
"So, we'll set the ones off at breakfast first?" Remus asked.
"Yep, then the ones in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room. And then they ones in the hallways when they are leaving the charms classroom." Sirius nodded.
"And then the ones in the entry to their dorms." Remus added.
"Bingo." Sirius cackled. "I can't wait to see Bellatrix's head explode."
"Hopefully not at us." Remus added. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Don't be such a wet blanket. I swear, you are so reserved sometimes, it's no fun." Sirius sighed.
"I am not a wet blanket." Remus frowned. "I know how to have fun."
"Uh-huh. You only went with all of this because you didn't want to be the one person who said no." Sirius countered, his tone growing more argumentative.
"That's not it…" Remus murmured, his face heating.
They were interrupted by James and Peter rounding the corner wearing matching grins.
"All set. Now we sit back and watch the fruits of our labors!" James declared. He threw an arm around Sirius' shoulders. "Well, we'd best not be late for breakfast gents."
Remus was still struggling with his emotional injuries when they settled in at the breakfast table. Sirius' voice rang around in his head like the shockwaves of sound after striking a gong. Wet blanket. Wet blanket. Wet blanket. He sat down beside James stiffly, not making eye contact with Sirius.
Maybe there were things he was more cautious about. Maybe he was more careful than some boys his age, but it wasn't intentional. It was necessary. Being careful maintained a balance. It kept his precarious life in some semblance of understandable. Carefully measured doses of what he needed and didn't want to need balanced out in his daily routine of survival.
"Here we go." James purred, making Remus look up from his empty plate. He caught a curious look being directed at him from Sirius, but he jerked his gaze toward the Slytherin table instead. It was nearly full now, and Bellatrix had just sat down.
"Alright, you ready?" Sirius leaned a little closer. Remus watched James very discreetly pull his wand out under the table. He muttered the spell, gave the wand a twitch, and there was a crippling moment of silence.
And then a thunderous explosion.
Thirty-six oozing Dung Bombs exploded in a squelching accompaniment of pumpkins being dismembered. Ooze and pumpkin slopped the entirety of the Slytherin table and its occupants, as well as not just the Ravenclaw table, but all the way to the Gryffindor table. The smell that hit a moment later had the entire hall coughing and gagging as they scrambled to their feet and rushed for the exits.
The four boys were hot on the tails of everyone else, Remus with his hand clamped over his mouth and nose in a desperate attempt to keep the smell out.
"Okay—I think we overdid it-" James croaked once they were a safe distance away. "But man, that was brilliant."
"That was bloody amazing!" Sirius gave James' a playful sock to the arm.
James laughed. "Oh, it's only the beginning."
Remus was beginning to think that James was made of something entirely dangerous, and that Sirius was a catalyst to the crazy.
What followed was probably the most terrifying six hours of Remus' time at Hogwarts. By the time the third round of dung bombs went off, every student was developing a twitch, looking at all pumpkins as if they were destined to combust and spray foul ooze all over any innocent bystander. To Sirius' absolute delight, every explosion seemed to nail Bellatrix. She had gotten so angry at the third explosion that she had pulled her wand out and started blasting pumpkins every which way down the corridor.
By the time the four of them had sat down at the freshly scrubbed table for the Halloween feast, James and Sirius had become attached at the hip, their heads bent together as they discussed ways to reenact the genius of the day at future dates. Peter kept trying to edge in.
"Next time, we could put those little worms into the pumpkins, get worms in everyone's hair-" Sirius was saying as James stabbed a carrot with his fork, nodding.
"Yeah, and we could do something with those micro fireworks, the ones that wizz up really high. Boom!" James waved a hand and the carrot dislodged from his fork and bounced off Peter's forehead.
"Hey!" Peter protested, rubbing his face tenderly.
"Sorry, Peter!" James laughed. "Carrots are dangerous."
Remus glanced up at the Slytherin table and felt his skin crawl. Bellatrix was watching them. Her eyes were narrowed and mean as they met Remus'. He tried to feign a curious look at her before turning his head back to the table.
"We might need to talk about this later, we are being watched." Remus hissed to Sirius and James. They both looked at Remus curiously. Remus made a discreet gesture towards Bellatrix with his spoon.
"Oh cool your knickers, Lupin." Sirius snorted. "It's not like anything is going to happen. She wouldn't do it in front of anyone."
"That's what I'm worried about." Remus muttered.
"Relax, Remus. They'll never know it was us." James grinned and stuffed another handful of candy into the pocket of his robes. Peter nodded in agreement with James.
Remus glanced at Bellatrix again. Her gaze had shifted now, fixed on someone farther down the Gryffindor table. He glanced down and saw the object of her attention. Fabian Prewett. He frowned, still feeling uneasy.
"C'mon Remus. If you don't snag any candy, it'll all be gone." James grinned, trying to hand Remus a lollipop. Remus looked a James.
"You underestimate me." He said cooly.
"What?" James blinked. Sirius looked at Remus, attention piqued.
Remus pulled open his robe to expose the pockets. "You didn't notice the distinct lack of chocolate bars in either of those bowls, did you." Remus smirked, his gold eyes now holding as much mischief as Sirius or James'.
They both paused, and then Sirius tipped one of the bowls to look at the contents. "How the hell…"
Remus cackled. "Chocolate." He hummed, picking his fork back up. "It really is the best thing there is."
Sirius continued to stare at Remus, awestruck.
"How'd you do it?"
"If I told you, you'd know my secrets."
"Oh C'mon Lupin, just tell me."
"Absolutely not."
Remus was sorting his spoils into piles on his bed, admiring the fine collection of decadent sweets he would Stache and dole out for weeks to come. Sirius reached out for one and Remus gave his hand a firm swat.
"Back. Back you nosy chocolate thief." Remus shook his hands at Sirius, who frowned sharply, yanking his hands back.
"Hey, you can't not share with me, you took all the chocolate!" Sirius whined. Remus arched an eyebrow.
"You called me a wet blanket. Why should I share with you?" He said smartly. To his surprise, Sirius had the decency to look bashful.
"Well, I think you aren't as much now." He muttered.
"Because I duped you and took all the chocolate?" Remus snorted. "Sorry, not good enough to earn any of my horde."
"Oh c'mon Remus!" Sirius threw himself on Remus' bed, nearly shooting all the chocolate into the ceiling.
"Oi! Don't do that!" Remus pushed at Sirius' boney shoulder. "Off—Off you, before I am forced to—to" Remus faltered.
"To what?" Sirius tilted his smirking face in Remus' direction. "What'll you do?"
"I'll….I'll—I'll steal all your ties." Remus finished lamely. Sirius feigned terror.
"Oh! Oh no! What will I do if you take me ties!" Sirius sat up and let out a bark of laughter that Remus wasn't expecting. He went still, watching the giggles roll up Sirius' person. His cheeks had colored, and he snorted with laughter. "You're going to have to do better than that-…why are you staring?"
"Huh?" Remus blinked, and then looked away. "Sorry…I've just…never really heard you laugh before."
There was a silence that caused Remus to look again at Sirius. He looked confused.
"You haven't?" He asked at last. "I guess I don't much."
"Well, I think you should do it more." Remus said at last. He selected a honeyduke's bar of dark chocolate and handed it to Sirius. "So, I guess your ties are all mine."
"I guess so." Sirius smiled, holding the chocolate bar in his fingers carefully. "Thanks." He whispered.
"You're welcome."
