Authors Note – I have every belief that John is childish and/or lazy enough to use txt spk on Twitter. However, I *cannot stand* writing it myself, and I'm not all that thrilled when I have to read it, either - the little bit you see in the first 'chapter' is there only because my original plan was to write that one short back-and-forth and leave it be. Thanks to all the encouragement I've received, though (and thanks so much reviewers!), and my own gleefully sadistic muses, that plan has obviously failed.

So, from now on Sheppard's Twitters are going to be (mostly) grammatically correct and properly spelled. Use your own imaginations to add whatever txt spk you deem reasonable for his updates. ;)

XxXxX

3 - GirlInEveryPort

FlyBoy
17:45 Is good at turning things on. Is that an Ancient device in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

WaySmarterThanU
17:49 Flyboy Oh my god, are you really that shallow?

FlyBoy
17:50 WaySmarterThanU I wouldn't call myself *shallow*, per se

WaySmarterThanU
17:50 FlyBoy Though, wait, I suppose there was Chaya.

NaughtyScot
17:52 WaySmarterThanU And the chieftain's daughter on Dla'an

WaySmarterThanU
17:53 NaughtyScot The planet with the purple trees?

NaughtyScot
17:55 WaySmarterThanU That's the one.

WaySmarterThanU
17:57 NaughtyScot Teer

NaughtyScot
18:01 WaySmarterThanU Mara, the Lord Protector's daughter

WaySmarterThanU
18:03 NaughtyScot Who lived on a BURIED ANCIENT CITY that went and COLLAPSED before we could get anything USEFUL from it!

NaughtyScot
18:05 WaySmarterThanU Impudent that Nature would dare keep you from scientific discovery, Rodney :sarcasm:

FlyBoy
18:05 WaySmarterThanU That one wasn't my fault! She forced herself on me!

WaySmarterThanU
18:07 NaughtyScot Bite me, you sheep shagging bastard!
18:08 FlyBoy Still counts. Then you and Weir we all over each other not long after that.

FlyBoy
18:10 WaySmarterThanU WE WERE POSSESSED BY ALIENS!

WaySmarterThanU
18:11 FlyBoy Excuses, excuses

NaughtyScot
18:12 WaySmarterThanU Don't forget that bar lass on M33-189

WaySmarterThanU
18:15 NaughtyScot Oh, right! I knew I was forgetting someone. Larrin was next

NaughtyScot
18:16 WaySmarterThanU ? Must've missed that one

WaySmarterThanU
18:10 NaughtyScot You were dead at the time. Or being held hostage by the Replicators, whatever. Nice girl, had her own ship, just wanted John for his ATA gene

NaughtyScot
18:11 WaySmarterThanU Weren't there a few more bar wenches as well?

WaySmarterThanU
18:15 NaughtyScot Way more than just a few. Pretty sure there have been at least three sisters in there somewhere, too.

FlyBoy
18:17 WaySmarterThanU ENOUGH! I GET IT ALREADY!

FlyBoy
18:20 Survey suggest that yes, I really am that shallow

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One more brief A.N. - Carson's Twitter name is inspired by Naughty Scot Scotch Ale from the Rock Bottom Brewery in Milwaukee, WI - the one and only beer I have ever liked. It also seems to me like the kind of brew he would appreciate - traditionally made, dark, and full-bodied (am I allowed to use 'full-bodied' for beer, or is that a wine thing?)