A/N#1: Standard disclaimer applies, the characters aren't mine, all I own is what they're doing in this story. And a 5 year old Jeep.
A/N#2: Thank you SO much to everyone who has reviewed. You guys are made of awesomesauce with a side order of fabulous. And, as we all know, reviews feed the muse, too ;)
Hope you continue to enjoy!
Chapter 3
My eyes traced over every line and curve, every texture, the fine arch of eyebrows, the cupid's bow lips. Features that venom had perfected, features that I knew had been beautiful even before that. The face that had stopped me in mid-stride one day months ago when a windstorm had dislodged an ad for a sale at the Thriftway to reveal a long-forgotten poster of a missing girl.
This girl.
"Isabella?"
My eyes darted back and forth between her face and her feet, ready for anything. I was terrified that my revelation would spook her as my reaching for her had the last time. I expected her to take off running, but she didn't move; she'd gone to stone right in front of me.
Testing, I took a step forward. She didn't move.
Another step. Nothing.
Her face was the first to crack the stone façade, her head cocking to the side, a furrow growing between her brows.
"Not," she said, her mouth working, the furrow deepening.
Now I was the one confused. I knew the changes venom wreaked on a human face, altering it irrevocably as it changed soft tissue diamond hard. But venom only changed the details not the general structure. The features remained much the same, they had with both Rosalie and Emmett; they had with me.
The nomad's face, though now runway model perfect, had once been the more subtle, classic beauty of a high school junior named Isabella Swan. A girl who had disappeared from this town without a trace eighteen months before we'd decided to call Forks home.
"You're not Isabella?" I asked, watching her carefully, still poised for her to run off.
She shook her head. Then nodded it. Then shook it again. All in the space of a second. If I hadn't been so focused, I might have laughed.
"B-Bella," she said at last, correcting me.
"Bella," I repeated, and then smiled, liking the nickname. If I'd harbored a hope for some sort of reciprocity, it was a vain one. She merely stood there and stared at me without blinking. I felt rather like a slide in Biology lab.
"Are you?"
I waited, not knowing what she was asking. When she didn't continue, I had to clarify.
"Am I what, Bella?" It was ridiculous, the thud in my long-dead chest from just saying her name, but that was something to be worked out later.
She paused, considered me for a long moment, then surprised hell out of me by relaxing away from her statue impersonation completely. "You're not."
I was still confused. It was a wholly novel and decidedly unpleasant feeling. In every other encounter with another vampire, even another human, it had been a simple matter to find out what I needed from their thoughts and react accordingly.
Not so now. And it was frustrating the hell out of me.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hear a sound from her mind. It was as if she wasn't standing there at all. But Alice had seen her too, told me to go to her, so at least I knew I wasn't crazy.
In that sense, anyway.
"I'm not what, Bella?"
"Him," she said and offered no more than that.
It didn't take long to figure it out, especially with her right hand reaching over to rub at a spot on her left wrist.
"No, Bella, I didn't change you," I said softly, my hands itching to wipe away the crease between arched brows.
"Who?" She asked, almost pleaded. She reached up and pushed the last of her hair from her face. Finally I was able to look fully into her beautiful face. Then she raised her eyes to mine and I nearly had to step backwards.
Her eyes were a deep, ruby red.
I managed, just barely, to stifle the gasp of surprise. Maybe it was my long life with my vegetarian family coupled with our relatively infrequent exposure to nomads, but I'd come to visualize all vampires, not just our family, with gold to black eyes.
Not eyes red from a steady diet of human blood.
Add to that, the poster that had so fascinated me long ago had shown the image of a girl with warm, chocolate brown eyes. Captivating, mesmerizing eyes that promised a world of secrets if you could just get past the wariness in them. I'd spent many nights those first months wondering just what it would take to get through those defenses to the secrets only hinted at in her eyes.
It took me a good bit of time, almost a full half-minute, to reorient myself and keep the shock from showing.
"Who?" She asked again and she was starting to look at me quizzically. I worked even harder to maintain an open, friendly, even sympathetic demeanor.
"I don't know, Bella, it happened before we arrived here." Then I paused, because the question of her turning had brought with it, invariably, the memories of my own transformation. From the sting of the first bite to the last beat of my heart, I remembered it all.
"You don't remember?"
I thought she was going to go rigid again and she did for the blink of a human eye, but then it was over. "No."
That surprised me. For most of us, the transition from mortal to immortal was the strongest memory we retained, and unless we're fanatical like my sister Rose, those moments were the only memories we retained of being human at all.
Yet Bella seemed to remember none of it. Another oddity in an already odd situation.
"How long have you been alone, Bella?"
She blinked at me again and I had my answer without her saying a word. She'd always been alone. Whomever made Bella, left her to her own devices.
Just like Alice.
But unlike Alice, this girl hadn't had visions of her future family to comfort her. Nothing to keep her from giving in to the madness of her new life in those first wild months; instead she'd had nothing but her instincts to guide her. I couldn't help thinking it was a miracle she was even alive.
So lost was I in my musings that I didn't realize Bella had closed the distance between us until she was mere inches from me. I only noticed when I felt her warm fingers on my cheek, just below my right eye.
"Your eyes?" she asked softly. "Why?"
I wondered if dietary choices were the right next step in the conversation, especially as we were still standing at the edge of the forest leading to the house. "It's a bit of a long story." I indicated the house behind me. "Would you like to come back to the house with me? A bit more comfortable setting than standing in the forest."
She looked truly perplexed by that. "Comfortable?" She said the word as if it had no meaning to her. "S'no difference. Here. There. Sit. Stand. Feels the same."
Of course it would to someone who spent her whole existence on the move, only pausing to drink when need and opportunity converged. I was determined to change that.
I smiled and offered my arm in the true gesture of my time. "Trust me?"
And to my utter surprise, she took my arm and did just that.
If I thought taking Bella back to the house would mean some peace and quiet and a chance to talk further without the forest as backdrop, I was painfully mistaken. I might get that eventually, but not for a while yet.
We weren't one foot inside the house when my mother and sister attacked from the sides, clucking over Bella as if she were a foundling baby on the doorstep rather than a nomad vampire who could, and did, take care of herself just fine. I was about to stop them but the daggers Alice glared at me changed my mind.
I knew that I could reattach my arms if she ripped them off, but I wasn't that keen to try it out in practice just then.
Bella shot a wild look at me and I was half-positive she was about to make a run for it again, but then my mother took her hand and squeezed it lightly. That pause was all it took for the world's most compassionate vampire to gain a toehold. The wildness cooled from Bella's expression and her shoulders eased from their tense hunch.
After that it was child's play for Esme to whisk Bella off upstairs.
Alice invariably followed, chattering all the while with introductions and, a brief overview of the Cullen family, mentioning the others as they passed certain rooms. By this time they'd reached the upstairs bath and were shedding her of the tattered remnants she wore. Alice's thoughts went straight to the myriad clothes we had on hand. She was lamenting that none of them would fit Bella properly. Being Alice, that only put her off her stride for a moment. She was looking ahead, with optimism bordering on insanity, to a future of shopping trips staring Bella as a giant dress-up doll.
I knew then I had to get us away, or get my family away, as soon as possible. If anything was going to scare Bella into running off into the forest again, it was that.
I heard everything they said, of course; secrets were an impossibility in this house. Their thoughts and words both came at me as I sat on the sofa waiting. Normally I blocked such chatter out. I'd learned very early that if I didn't learn to filter I would go slowly insane from the noise alone. This time, however, I listened carefully checking for dangers, reactions, and, if I was honest with myself, trying to see if Bella's thoughts were mixed in there somewhere. Anywhere.
They weren't.
My family's reactions were audible to me, though, and as varied and unique as my family members themselves.
Emmett was thinking about matching his strength against a vampire strong with human blood.
Jasper was remembering his own eyes being that deep red, and how they'd come to be that way, the sweetness and satisfaction only human blood could give us. "Jazz," I said softly, and his mind shifted away from that path with a brief thought of thanks sent my way. It'd been fifty years since they'd joined us, but Jasper'd spent two centuries quenching his thirst with humans and was still adjusting to his life of restraint.
But Jasper loved Alice beyond any level of emotional bond that I'd ever seen, even that of my parents, and though he missed our traditional diet, he would gladly hunt elk for the rest of his eternity so long as Alice was by his side.
Rose was. Well, she was Rose and I didn't dwell near her thoughts long. She didn't like the intrusion into our lives, didn't like the danger to our façade with an unpredictable nomad vampire under our roof; but mostly she didn't like that Alice kept cooing about how pretty Bella was as they cleared through the dirty face and matted hair.
As ever, I ignored her. She'd caused her share of unrest when she'd come to live with us, she could endure this for me.
"I haven't seen Esme this happy since you came home to us after your time away," Carlisle said as he joined me in the large room we used as a living area. I snorted at the way he glossed over my years of adolescent rebellion. He made it sound like I'd taken his car out for a joyride, not spent ten years of my own with eyes as red as Bella's.
I cast a worried glance towards the ceiling. I was uneasy about this, about being separated from Bella without knowing what she was thinking. "They're not overwhelming her, are they?"
He laughed. "No more than they ever do. She's fine, Edward, relax." The laughter still showed on his face, but his eyes were suddenly serious.
I focused on his thoughts.
You still can't read her mind?He asked me.
I shook my head, keeping my answers nonverbal. It was the only way to truly have a private conversation without running far enough away from the enhanced hearing of the other vampires in the house.
Have you ever met anyone-?
I was shaking my head again before he could finish his question. In all the others we'd encountered, I'd never found a mind, human or immortal, that I couldn't penetrate or at least hear to some degree, even Chief Swan's, though muffled... I broke off, my eyes widening.
What is it?
I looked up at the ceiling then back at Carlisle. "Father," I said out loud, trusting him to make the connection.
He did.
That's right. You said Chief Swan's mind was like a badly tuned radio. You're thinking it's hereditary?
I lifted my shoulders. Anything was possible. If the chief's mind was hard to read, could Bella have brought that into her new life as a vampire? Had it always been that way? Unfortunately, all we could do was guess.
Isabella Swan had disappeared over a year before we'd arrived and remembered nothing of her transformation much less her human life before that. We all knew from past experience, unless you worked very hard to retain the memories, your human life became nothing more than half-forgotten dreams. And by all appearances, Bella had done nothing to retain memories of her human life.
Edward.
I was taken out of my musings when my sister spoke straight into my mind. I looked towards the ceiling and answered her aloud. "Yes?"
Look.
From the moment they'd started their beauty treatment upstairs, I'd kept my listening solely focused on what Alice was thinking, not seeing. I was gentleman enough to close my mind against the sight of anything I shouldn't be seeing.
But I opened my mind again now, knowing she'd never request that if Bella were still in a vulnerable state.
I saw you jumping up and gasping when we came down, scaring her into flight, so I thought I'd let you get over the initial reaction now before you ruined everything.There was a pause and then an almost illegal level of smug. And now she's not going to run off. Admit it, you owe me.
I didn't answer her. If her smug got any more pronounced, she'd probably explode from it.
"They're coming down," I told Carlisle when I realized he was staring at me strangely. I didn't elaborate because just as I said the words, they were there at the base of the stairs..
We both stood to greet them and it took locking my jaws together to keep it from dropping down to my chest.
She was, in a word, stunning. She always had been beautiful, but cleaning off the rough edges made her breathtakingly so. Her face, the one that had captivated me at first sigh, was still visible through the perfections her transformation had wrought. Long brown hair, no longer matted, but brushed to a lustrous shine, framed the pale oval of her face, flattering it even further. As if that were even possible. Even the dark red eyes didn't detract from that beauty.
"You must be Bella," Carlisle said, breaking the silence caused by my gaping. "I'm Carlisle. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Pleasure," Bella answered with a little smile, "pleasure's mine."
I was really starting to think I'd gone completely insane. A little smile like that should not have the power to buckle my knees.
While he was greeting Bella with a handshake, his thoughts were turned to me. He didn't smack my head to bring me out of it. Not physically, at least.
You're being very rude, Edward. Stop gaping and come over and greet the girl.
Then Alice chimed in. Don't mess this up. She's seconds away from running off as it is.
Ever supportive, my family.
"Bella," I said softly. "I should apologize for them." I looked at Alice in particular. "I didn't expect that they'd drag you off the second we got home."
"No," Bella said. "Fine." She paused, and then gave her head an almost imperceptible shake. "It's fine."
Esme nodded, beaming a smile. "See? I told you it would come back to you, Bella. You're just out of practice."
Bella rewarded her with a beaming smile and I felt a stab of jealousy towards my own mother.
Maybe I needed therapy.
"Thank you," Bella said, first to Esme, then to Alice. "Didn't realize. How much. Difference," she paused, and then turned to me with a shy smile. "Comfortable."
I could have sworn I felt my heart thud in my chest after over a century's dormancy.
"Well," Carlisle said with the head of the household tone that brooked no argument. "We were about to go off hunting, so we'll leave you both to your morning."
There was a bit of thumping upstairs and the distinct sound of Jasper and Emmett wrestling – I assumed one brother didn't care to leave the house at the moment and the other was convincing him otherwise. Quiet soon followed when Jasper managed to get him outside.
"I'll see you later, Bella," Alice chimed in with a smile.
"It truly was a pleasure meeting you, Bella. You're welcome here anytime," Esme echoed, taking her hand and squeezing it gently.
Alice and Esme then left together, sprinting in the vampire version of a jog towards the forest's edge. After a brief goodbye to Bella, Carlisle followed them.
Bella and I stared at one another as the quiet in the now-vacant house stretched between us. I wouldn't have called it an awkward silence, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. I smiled at Bella, a little half smile, and she smiled back. That broke the tension.
I walked into the living area and sat down, indicating the sofa opposite me with a wave of my hand. "Would you like to join me?"
Bella eyed the sofa, and then shrugged. "Still. Don't understand." She looked around the house, eyes pausing on the chairs, sofas, even the big television mounted to the wall. "Why."
"Why we live like this?"
Bella nodded, sitting like a statue on the sofa, utterly still. I'd never really noticed before, just how human we all acted even when we weren't in school or around humans. Our camouflage had bled over into our private lives as well. We sat, we shifted, scratched itches we didn't have, fidgeted with things, whatever we could to keep from being too still.
"We take our cues from Carlisle, I suppose. He didn't choose this life, being a vampire I mean, so he does what he can to keep close to the human existence he lost. That means a house, school for us, a regular job for him. The other things? Music, computers, even the television? They help the monotony of immortality."
"Monotony?"
I cocked my head, intrigued. "You don't find it endless? The same traveling every day, no end to the journey?"
Even when I'd taken off and lived apart from Carlisle and Esme in my fit of rebellion, giving in to my baser instincts and living as a true vampire, the endless days and nights had worn on me after a year. I'd missed the company of my new parents, our well-appointed house, the distraction of my piano compositions, playing with the notes and chords until I found a melody that pleased me.
Unfortunately, my stubborn streak had kept me apart from them a further nine years before I had made my way back home again.
Bella was still regarding me curiously.
"You don't then? Find it repetitive? Endless?"
Bella just shrugged. "What else is there?"
"Ah, right," I said, figuring it out. With no memory of her human life, all she knew was what she'd experienced since awakening an immortal. With nothing to compare it to, that endless existence might not be as difficult to endure.
I watched as her cupid's bow mouth opened and closed several times in rapid succession.
"What is it, Bella? You can ask me anything."
She looked at me again, unnerving me with the way she stayed statue-still and stared. After a very long pause, she broke the silence. "Animals?"
"Animals," I confirmed with a smile.
Bella pulled a face. I blinked for a moment at the dour, serious face contorted in such a way. My eyes memorized the way her perfect features twisted, scrunched up in distaste; and my dead heart threatened to beat again. She was...there was no other word that fit…she was adorable.
"Alice told you about that as well?"
"Esme," she corrected, her face still scrunched. "Asked about eyes."
"Did she tell you how that began?"
"Tried," Bella said and then her face smoothed out. "Alice."
I laughed. She didn't need to say more than that. Alice had found the topic boring, and had changed the subject.
I cocked my head to the side. "Would you like to hear it?"
While Bella considered, I called myself every name I could think of. How stupid could I be? Of course she didn't care about my father's history. She'd want to hear about places we'd been, things we'd seen, other nomads we'd met, perhaps—
"Very much," Bella said, jarring me from my self-castigation. I was sure the smile I beamed back at her was the sort madmen wore, but to her credit, she didn't seem to notice…or if she noticed, she didn't care.
I stood and held out my hand to her. "There are pictures upstairs in Carlisle's office that go with the story if you'd like to see them."
Bella stared at my hand as if it was a snake about to rear up and strike her. I dropped it at once. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be pushy."
"No," she said quickly, "my fault. Not used to. Touched."
"I understand." I smiled back at her, hoping that I looked less like an escapee from a mental institution and more like a sympathetic friend. I must have, because despite that fuck up, she was still here. Maybe, just maybe, this had a chance of working out.
I let her precede me to the stairs, but my attention was diverted by a buzzing somewhere on the second floor. My room…my cell phone. I sighed, not wanting to deal with Tanya again today, and returned my focus to infinitely more pleasant things. Next time, I'd just put the phone on silent instead of vibrate.
"I think you're going to like this," I said, referring to the vivid paintings on the wall that depicted Carlisle's nearly four centuries of life.
For some reason, Bella stiffened beside me, foot on the first step. I sensed the difference in her, heard the small gasp and acted out of a habit ingrained through a hundred years of life. My hand shot out to grasp her upper arm, in a show of both comfort and support.
"Bella, wh—"
I didn't get much more than that.
With force I'd never expect from a non-seasoned fighter, Bella pushed away from me and darted across the room at her full speed.
"No."
"Bella," I said in my calmest voice. "Bella, I'm sorry. Please. It was just instinct, an accident. I felt you get upset and…please don't lea—"
But it was too late. She was already gone.
"Fuck," I cursed softly to the empty room, running both hands through my unruly hair in a rare fit of frustration. "Brilliant, Edward. Truly brilliant."
The buzzing started upstairs again and, with nothing better to do with my foul mood, I ran upstairs to answer it. Hoping to spew a little acid Tanya's way to ease my own self-loathing for being such an idiot.
It wasn't Tanya calling, however.
"You really should keep your phone with you all the time, Edward. Especially if you're going to be stupid," Alice said by way of greeting. "What good is it for me to see things if I can't tell you about them in time enough to make a difference?"
"Hello to you too, Alice." I spat the words at her.
"So, she's run off again. Lovely. Thanks so much, Edward."
"You think I did this on purpose?"
She gave a long-suffering sigh. "No, of course you didn't. And I know you're devastated, I can hear it in your voice. You haven't been this angry since," she paused, "well, I've never seen this side of you to be honest."
I didn't really want to talk about my infinite levels of stupidity, so I changed the subject instead. "Are you guys coming back for school?"
"We should be, yes," Alice sighed. "No reason for us to stay out here if Bella's gone."
"All right then, I'll wait for you to—"
I broke off when a knock sounded at the door.
My heart leapt. Could she be back already? Maybe she just freaked out? Needed a moment?
"See you soon, Alice," I said hastily and dropped the phone into my pocket before running back down the stairs to the front door. I pulled it open so hard I damaged two of the three hinges.
But my welcoming smile fell straight off my face when I saw who was waiting on the other side, and no amount of manners could keep the shock from showing.
"Jake?"
