World of Warcraft: The Wandrings of Zach (and Co.)
Written By: Wyatt Clark
Co-Written By: Zachary Bearg and 911GuiltyJerk (AKA Tom)
Assistance By: Hunter Clark
(WARNING: Story contains violence, language (the more offensive words censored), usage of alcohol and drugs (to some extent), and some minor adult themes)
Disclaimer: This chapter was written by These Three Jerks Productions. World of Warcraft, along with its characters, locations, and elements, are property of Blizzard Entertainment. We are a non-profit writing team who intends not to sell works copyrighted by their respective companies, but borrow elements from them to entertain others in the form of our works.
Chapter 3: SHAZAM!
Zach was able to reach Hunter's house and the "weapon shop" shortly after his doggy rescue quest. Upon entering he was amazed and a little disgusted at a four foot tall pile of those dead rat things; amazed because it must have taken a while to achieve a pile that high. The next thing he saw was Victoria (Hunter and Wyatt's mom) standing by a large pot, brewing what looked like some sort of stew with Hunter and Wyatt getting ready to throw Tom in.
When he saw Zach, Wyatt called out to him with slight tension, "Hey Zach! Did you get my letter?"
"Yeah!" Was Zach's response.
After greetings were exchanged, Hunter got right down to business. "Zach, go pick out some junk from that pile of stuff." Hunter said, pointing at a pile of assorted equipment. "Pick some garbage that is appropriate to your style of battle."
Zach walked over to the pile of stuff (presumably taken from all the dead rat-people) and picked out a wooden shield, as well as a studded leather vest. After he had all of his stuff chosen and put on, he walked to the table that the others were at and sat down.
"What now?" Zach asked with a sigh.
Tom spoke up for the first time.
"Well, I'd say we kill the old bag. Knowing how crap like this works, killing her will be our ticket out of this wacked out world."
Wyatt, who had gotten up to help his mom with cooking, came back to the table with a tray of cookies and asked, "Where do you think we'll find this person?"
"Knowing fantasy," Zach said. "I'd say we'll have to go to a big castle." No sooner had the words come out of his mouth, a bright flash of light emitted from the dinner table accompanied by a wooshing "SHAZAM!" sound. And then most disturbing of all, a purple humanoid with large ears and shoulder length blue-ish purple hair appeared standing on the table. Everybody at the table was shocked...
... because this elf-like person was nearly undressed except for a pair of briefs! The elf calmly and without shame said, "I have a message to you all from the Shadow Queen. She says that since you have basically said that she can "get stuffed", she has made it so that all but the ugliest creature in all the land will attempt to kill you."
After a few seconds of staring in disbelief, the group recognized this person as an unfortunate acquaintance: the notorious "Shazamer", Kieth. The obvious question was from Tom, who had recovered from the shock first.
"Who is the ugliest creature in the land??"
"Yeah." Hunter added.
"Me!" Kieth replied, looking somewhat chipper still.
Wyatt, now recovered from the near life ending shock, said, "Well if it isn't the Shazamer himself," And then in the same breath, asked, "why the bloody hell do you only have your underpants on?!"
'Shazamer' was a nickname which had been given to Kieth by Zach, but it appeared that it had seemed to have had more effect than originally predicted.
"Because I just got up," Kieth said sarcastically stated. "And I just put my clothes in the washing machine."
In another "SHAZAM!" of light, Kieth disappeared.
All shock aside, Wyatt bluntly stated, "Well, let's go get this Shadowy-old-battle-axe!"
