A/N: The songs featured in this chapter is Mine, Mine, Mine, and Listen with your Heart II, but you really don't need to load up your playlist for the latter one. Also, if you don't know what "borscht" is, you better wikipedia it NOW. Trust us. Also, we apologize in advance. Review and the next song will be better, we swear!


The great and billowing Ukraine arrived upon the beaches of the new world.

"We're here sir!" gay'd Latvia to Russia. Pug-dog Prussia was bathing like a boss in the corner.

"Good," said Russia. "Now bend over." Latvia liked it.

Up on the deck, the Nordics conversed.

"Well that was quick!" Finland happily exclaimed. "We easily crossed that ocean all lickety-split-like!"

"Yes, I am glad we are here!" said England, interrupting Norway who was about to say something. "I have longed for a wild, virgin land to tame. London is far too 'easy,' I would say. Quite. Rather."

Norway sensed a lull in the conversation. "I was going to say, 'Now that we're here, we should put in a hard days work, and spread communism to everyone,' but you are all sweaty parmesan toads."

At that moment, England kicked the whole side of the boat out, jumped into the sea, sprouted wings and flew to the shore of the new world. "I'm going to find some tarts to shag. I'm not working today! GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"

"Look at how British he is," Finland said, as they watched England fly into the distance. "I don't think he likes communism very much."

Sweeden nodded. "...''"

"That was very insightful, dear," Finland said.

They then wondered how England had sprouted wings. Denmark thought it was the pills everyone had been taking. That was probably the case.

In reality, Denmark had been the only one taking the pills. The crew had reached the shore hours ago and England just kindly tipped his brow to Finland, said, "I'm off to take a nice stroll, wot wot," and wandered off into the forest. The whole thing had just been a bad trip. When Denmark sobered up, Russia was explaining what they were doing in the new world.

"Everyone knows that the best way to influence a man's political views is through his stomach. You have all heard the rumors... of the magical beetroot cache hidden under the surface of this virgin world. Well, those rumors are true. We will find this beetroot, and we will make the most communist of all foods: borscht. With this equalizer soup, the bourgeoisie of the world will fall!"

Borscht

[Russia]
The hot soup of Ukraine
The Lithuanian borscht
Will pale in comparision
To the borscht of tomorrow
The root we find here
Will BEET them all up
Do you get it boys? It's a pun!
Laugh at my humor, boys

Borscht, boys, borscht ev'ry morning
And beets, boys, beets out your ears
Grab a spoon, boys
Quick, boys
Shove it in your mouth
Drink it all up
Communism in a cup
It's borscht and it's mine, mine, mine

[Nordics]
Borscht and borscht and borscht and beetroot...
Borscht and borscht and borscht and beetroot...

[Latvia]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Russia]
What are you singing?

[Latvia]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Russia]
That is so gay!

[Latvia]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Latvia]
I love beets a lot!

[Russia]
Well good, 'cuz that's all that you'll eat

My rivals back home
All think that it's bitter
But oh! How they'll yearn
When they see my borscht glitter!
The commies in court
Will be all a-twitter
The king will reward me
He'll overthrow himself and do away with the bourgeoisie.

It's borscht, borscht, borscht
For the taking
It's borscht, boys
Find me those beets!
With those beetroots dug ...

It's glory they'll gimme
My dear friend, King Jimmy
Will probably give us equality
When all of the borscht is drunk.

[Nordics]
Borscht and borscht and borscht and beetroot...
Borscht and borscht and borscht and beetroot...

[England]
All of my life, I have searched for a land
Like this one
A land with culinary prowess
That's better than mine
Hundreds of flavors await
And I don't plan to miss one
In a land I can eat
A land I can taste
The greatest adventure is lunch!

[Russia and Nordics together]

[Russia]
Keep on working, lads
Don't be shirking, lads
Dig, boys, dig
Find me those beets
Beautiful borscht

[Nordics]

Find communism!
All for mother Russia!
Borscht! Borscht! And beetroot
Borscht is made from beets!
Make some soup
BEETROOT!

[Russia]
Dig up the beets, boys
I'd help you to dig, boys
But I've got a large metal pipe

[England]
This food we behold ...

[Russia]
This beauty of borscht ...

[England]
Flavor can be bold!

[Russia]
Beets are persuasive!

[Russia and Nordics together]

[Russia]
And communism
Is ...
Borscht!
Borscht!
Borscht!
Borscht!

[Nordics]
So drink up some borscht
Communism is here
Swallow your fear
From this minute
This borscht, what is in it?
BEETS!

[Russia]
Borscht! and Borscht! and Beetroot!
Hey nonny nonny nonny BEETROOT!

England strolled along, wishing for a river to wash the dirty communist seed off of his face. And lo! there was a perfect river for face washing in front of him.

"Oh fast land of many pleasures, you sure know how to treat a man well!" Iggy of the Brows bellowed from the depths of his soul. He shoved his face into the river and motorboated it until it came... off his face. You know, the communism... that was on his face. Taking his heaving head out of the river, he saw the reflection of what might have been a blonde man with glasses behind him. Sneakily, he turned, and rubbed his gun in preperation for what was to come.

America hid behind the trees, frightened. He had never seen so much eyebrow in his whole life! Could this be what the dreams were telling him? When looked again, brows was gone!

"Where be brows? WHERE ARE YOU BROSKI BROWS?" screamed America, jumping into the river and flailing wildly. This scared England greatly, who proceeded to light his old-timey gun and aim at the burger master.

He jumped out of his non-discript hiding place, ready to fire. But something stopped him. There, upon the rock, stood the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He was unsure if he wanted to take him in as a brother... or a lover. Possibly both. The American flag cape flapped ominously in the breeze, as America stood in the river, smiling stupidly.

"You have lots of eyebrows," America America'd. This was his form of flirting.

"Can you speak English?" asked England, lowering his gun.

"No, I only speak American," sighed America, dissapointed.

"How can we ever understand each other?" cried England.

Listen With Your Tum II

[Voice of Romano]

You are really dumb. Can't you understand?

"If I listen with my tum.." thought America, out loud.

"What?"

"Hey broski bro, my name is America! What be your name? I bet it's as pretty as you!"

"D'AWWWWWW."

THE END OF THE CHAPTER.


TO BE CONTINUED...