Here's some sass, Raven style! I had fun making all these up.

This oneshot may look a little messy because of all the skips in time and since it's just dialogue, but I thought it looked better than it would with lines in place of dots. Also, you sould be able to guess who is speaking based on the context. I was tempted to add more to the scenarios in order to elaborate, but then I was just like nahhhhh. Too much work. Also, I think it's funnier without the extra information.

So basically, there's a new setting between each set of dots, and I gave each Titan a different thing to call Raven so it's easy to tell who's who. Beast Boy = Rae and Rae-Rae. Starfire = Friend Raven. Cyborg = Rave. Robin = Raven. Simple enough? Okay.

Yeah.


- Sassy -

"Friend Raven, would you like to participate in the talking of the girls?"

"Gee, what could possibly be more fun?"

...

"Raven, are your powers acting up again?"

"No, Robin, the refrigerator just exploded on its own."

...

"Wanna play a game of Mega Monkey's 3, Rae?"

"Wow, sounds like such a stimulating way to kill all my brain cells."

...

"Yo, Rave! How about helping me out with breakfast? I could use an extra set of hands."

"Hmm, I don't know. Do you like eating charred waffles in the morning?"

...

"You need to calm down, Raven."

"Believe me, Robin, I'm the last person you should be telling that to."

...

"RAE-RAE!"

"...and I was having such a quiet morning..."

...

"Am I permitted to enter your room, friend Raven?"

"Why don't you come in and find out for yourself?"

...

"Don't kill me!"

"Believe me, Beast Boy, if I was going to kill you, you'd have been dead a long time ago."

...

"BOOYAH! High five!"

"Please don't."

...

"Hey, Rae-Rae, wanna hear a joke?"

"Hey, Beast Boy, wanna lose all you teeth?"

...

"Friend Raven! You are okay!"

"Nice observation."

...

"You're hating this, aren't you, Rave?"

"How did you guess."

...

"Dude!"

"Do I look like a dude to you?"

...

"I know I told you to try and get Beast Boy to shut up...but, wow, Raven. How did you get him to be so...quiet? You were only alone with him for thirty seconds. What did you say?"

"I'll give you a hint. It starts with 'birds' and ends with 'bees'."

...

"Meat is the meaning of life, BB! Your tofu is an abomination! Right, Rave?"

"Don't drag me into this."

...

"Where are we?"

"Hmm. Absolute darkness...lack of sound...complete emptiness...Beast Boy's head?"

...

"So, Rae-Rae, I've been thinking..."

"Is it the end of the world already?"

...

"What happened to my baby? What could have possibly happened to my poor baby?! NO! MY BABY!"

"It's a car, Cyborg, not a child."

...

"Friend Raven, what is so funny about the number sixty-nine?"

"...you know, why don't you ask Robin? I think he'd be happy to tell you."

...

"Rae, could you come down? You're making me feel short."

"Trust me, Beast Boy. I don't need to fly to make you feel short."

...

"Rae, look! It's raining out."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

...

"Who wants meatloaf?!"

"Only you, Cyborg. Only you."

...

"Are you feeling the angry-ness, friend Raven?"

"No, not at all. That's why I threw Beast Boy into a wall: because I'm not angry."

...

"Are you even trying to fight, Raven?"

"Obviously not."

...

"Look! I can lick my nose with my tongue! See? Look! Look, Rae, look!"

"What planet did you come from?"


Starfire looked at Robin. Robin looked at Beast Boy. Beast Boy looked at Cyborg. Cyborg looked at Starfire. They all looked at Raven, and then nodded in unison.

"The sass is real in this one," the Teen Titans agreed solemnly.


Yay sarcasm! I love Raven's sass-tastic side, it's hilarious.

Here's a bonus one that my friend came up with:

"Friend Raven! Shall we blaze the marijuana?"

"W-what?! I-! Oh. You've been talking to your sister again, haven't you."

Yeah, I know. Weird. Inappropriate. Sorry. Every time he sees me, Starfire's marijuana line is the first thing he says. Occasionally I slap him, but it never stops being funny. To me.

Oh, and one more thing...I showed this oneshot to some friends at school and one thought the section with the birds and bees joke meant Raven raped Beast Boy.

NO, YOU GUYS. NO. DON'T THINK THAT.

She told him where babies come from.

THAT IS ALL.