Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.
If you haven't done so, please read the first two hundred stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet," and "Those Rangers Just Keep on Meeting."
This is story number three. It was requested by Psycho Tangerine. She wouldn't stop pestering me about it.
Cole and Maya
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
"Ah, this is the life," muttered Cole as he leaned back in his leather recliner and flipped on his ninety- inch wide screen television with the remote control. He then used the same remote to turn up the surround sound system on his stereo. "Well, I'm thirsty," he mused out loud. He sauntered to the kitchen, flicking on every light as he went. Cole turned on the water, filled up a glass, and drank it quickly. He made sure to keep the kitchen tap dripping. He then placed the glass into the otherwise empty dishwasher and turned it on. "Oops," he mumbled as he noticed some water had spilled on the floor. "And I'm out of paper towels." He went to the closet and grabbed one of the genuine fox fur coats that were hanging there. He dropped the coat onto the water to soak it up.
"If this doesn't get Animus here, nothing will,' smirked Cole as he tossed a bunch of Styrofoam cups into his trash can. Ever since his mission with the other Red Rangers, he wanted nothing more than to show up that jerk who kept calling him 'Rookie'. A giant ancient being stomping on the Tyrannosaurus Zord would certainly do the trick.
Knock Knock!
"Oh, maybe that's him, now!" exclaimed Cole as he ran to the door. He flung it open.
"Hello!" chirped Maya as she stood on the doorstep. "You must be Cole, right? I've been wanting to meet you for a long time."
"Awww, you're not Animus," grumped Cole as she closed the door on her. Maybe if he dumped his car into the nearby lake…
"I thought Earthers were more polite than that," complained Maya as she pushed the door open. She grabbed her ears at the cacophony that greeted her. She grabbed the remote and turned off the television and stereo.
"Hey! What's the big idea?" asked Cole.
Maya stared in shock at all the appliances that were running in the kitchen. "Why is that blender on? It's empty," asked Maya as she shut it off, along with the waffle maker, electric mixer, empty toaster, and microwave oven.
"I'm making an air shake. Non-fattening," Cole mouthed back to her.
Maya gaped at him "Aren't …Aren't you Cole Evans, the Red Wild Force Ranger?"
"Yeah."
"Aren't you the Ranger that loves nature and can understand animal thoughts?"
"That's what they all say," Cole replied as he yawned in boredom.
"How thrilling!" gushed Maya. "I can also understand animal minds. You are my soul mate. You are…a monster!" she screamed as she finally noticed the deer and boar heads hanging on the walls and genuine bear rug on the floor. "How how could you do that? To your brethren? You of all people who can understand their thoughts and feelings? Who can feel when they are in pain? How?" she cried.
Cole broke out into laughter. "Oh my God! You're just as gullible as the rest of them!"
"And what does that mean?" asked a now furious Maya.
"All I had to do every so often was whisper in a dog's ear or stare at a cat and the other Rangers actually believed that I was talking to them."
"But, you read hearts," claimed Maya desperately. "I heard you were the one who told the Rangers they could trust…but if you can't…."
"Heh, yeah they really are stupid. Ransik could've been planning to take over the Animarium for all I know." Cole sat back in his leather chair and leaned back. "I really made a good guess there."
"But, why? Why pretend all that?" whined Maya. "Why put your team in danger like that?" Why break my heart? she thought. Now she would have to take down the 'Maya and Cole Pet Therapist' sign she had put up above the tree house she had built. She had been so certain that they would fall in love and end up psychoanalyzing rich old ladies' poodles together for hefty sums.
"Because it's what they expected," replied Cole with a sigh. "Just because I came from a jungle tribe that didn't have a barber shop they all thought I was a wild boy in touch with nature." He jumped up, startling Maya. "Well, I hated nature! I hated having to sleep on the grass! I hated having to climb trees to get fruit! I hated having to bathe in a lake where animals pooped! I was glad to be given a rickety row boat so I could escape that flea infested place!"
Maya stared at Cole in shock. "But, I came all the way from Mirinoi just to meet you. I even gave up an important event for it!" Mike would be very angry if he found out why she had cancelled their wedding. But the former Magna Defender had forgotten to recycle his plastic bottles just one too many times.
"Whatever," mumbled Cole as he grabbed his remote and turned the television back on. "Now please go back to where you…"
CRASH! "Cole Evans!" boomed a furious Animus as he crashed through the living room wall. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Finally!" cried Cole as he turned off the television. "I knew all my anti-environmental behavior would get your attention."
"Huh?" asked Animus. "Oh yeah, I already took care of that."
"But, if that's not why you came... Well, never mind," said Cole. "Animus, I really need you to go stomp on…"
"What is the meaning of treating this lovely young lady so badly?" interrupted Animus.
"Who me?" asked Maya as she stared up at the ancient Megazord. "Wow, you are tall, and kind of cute." She jumped up into his arms. "Take me away from this loser."
"Let's go watch a tree grow!" suggested Animus as he and Maya walked out through the broken wall.
"Ooh, yes, let's," agreed Maya. "And maybe after that, we can stop off at that wonderful recycling center at the other side of town."
"Then we can go stand in front of the supermarket and yell at all the jerks that use plastic bags."
Cole gaped as their voices faded. "But, but, Animus, what about me?" he whined. He then looked down and noticed an envelope the ancient Zord had left for him. "I knew you wouldn't forget!" He reached down and opened it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screeched as he saw the fine for a million dollars from the Environmental Protection Agency.
