xxoXOXoxx

Iruka managed to pull himself together for the shoot, but he suspected it was mainly due to his insistence that he get his coffee to go before he said good-bye to Crow as quickly as he could. He wanted to think more about what had happened that morning, but not while he was on the set.

His efforts paid off, at least as far as reassuring the people around him.

"Glad those pills helped," Genma said after Tsunade yelled 'cut!' He handed Iruka a towel.

"I didn't need them," Iruka replied, mopping his face and grimacing as his makeup smeared the cloth. "I ended up crashing on my own."

"As long as you slept." Genma rolled his eyes when Iruka held the towel out to him. "As if I want your greasepaint all over my suit. Give it to a crew member. I'm taking you to lunch."

"Let me wash up and change, first. Tsunade said I'm done for the next two days. They're going to work on Kurenai's scenes." He suspected Tsunade was giving him a break to get his head together, and was grateful for her uncharacteristic tact in arranging things for the time off.

"Great. I'll meet you outside in ten minutes."

Genma's favorite lunch menu turned out to be Japanese. Iruka sipped his miso soup, trying to decide if he'd be responsible and spend the next two days catching up with the business side of his career, or give himself a break. He felt like he needed one.

"I've talked to security," Genma said, carefully picking the bones from his grilled fish. "There shouldn't be any more incidents like yesterday's."

"Hmm." No more visits in his trailer from Crow. Iruka ignored the sliver of disappointment he felt. "Thanks."

"Like I said before, I'm worried about the rumors that the Ghost is in town." Genma pointed at Iruka's tsukemono. "Are you going to eat that?"

"Yes," Iruka replied. "Order more if you're so greedy."

"It doesn't taste as good unless it's from someone else's plate." Genma grinned.

Iruka smiled back, but hesitated. A question had been going through his head since his talk with Crow earlier that morning. Genma was pretty discreet when he thought something was important. "I've been thinking about something," he said slowly, trying to decide how to frame the conversation. "If you knew that an actor who played a lot of straight leads was really gay, how damaging do you think it might be to his career if it were to get out?"

"In the industry?" Genma shrugged. "Nobody would give a shit, as long as it didn't impact the bottom line. But even these days, I think it would be a big deal with the public."

"Which translates into risky sales and threats to bottom lines." Iruka sighed. "Yeah, that's about what I figured."

"I think it might be a little better for television actors. But television or film, we're a pretty risk-adverse industry." Genma lifted an eyebrow. "Why the question?"

Iruka poked at his tempura. "Someone said something that made me think about it, and I was a little shocked at my response. I thought it would make a big difference. I wasn't happy to realize that I was that bigoted."

"I'm not saying the industry isn't," Genma pointed out.

"I know. I think it is, too. But then I started wondering, 'What if it were me? What if I was gay and wanted the better-paying straight roles?'" He sighed.

"And?"

"I guess I'd hope I'd be strong enough to not live a lie," Iruka said. "But I don't know."

"Big philosophical questions aren't your usual thing. Is something going on?"

Iruka hesitated again. "Maybe," he finally said. "At least enough to make me consider a few things I hadn't ever really thought about before."

"Is this about the Ghost?"

"Partially, I guess." He put down his chopsticks. "Not directly, though."

"Have you been feeling uneasy?"

Iruka nodded. "At times. There were a couple of times I felt like something wasn't quite right, yesterday."

"You've got great instincts, Iruka." Genma leaned forward. "Really. Trust them."

Iruka could feel his face warm at Genma's concerned tone. "Bento and deep personal insights." Iruka shook his head and grinned to laugh off the tension. "Nice lunch, Genma."

"Hey! I'm not the one who started it!"

Iruka dropped his teasing tone and let his grin soften to a smile. "Thanks. Really. Lunch was great. It's been a while since we've had a chance to talk."

Genma snorted. "You're an investment, baby. And don't forget it."

Iruka laughed.

Yeah, he decided. The beach. To hell with responsibility, it's time to live a little.