Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu or the story of Canon of Lies (or any of the words used in it), which was written by Bubun Hanten, and illustrated by Kazuki Rai. Canon of Lies part 1 can be found here post/110530449061/canon-of-lies-part-1
Kageyama's POV
Canon of Lies
Lie 3
'Hinata confessed to me. But he was just mistaken, and while it pissed me off being given the run around by him, I was actually relieved. When he said he didn't love me, it felt like something kind of snapped in my chest, but I decided to ignore it. Volleyball is far more important to me than that kind of thing.' I thought to myself.
I then remembered something I had thought three years ago in junior high.
~Flashback~
"Oikawa, a student from another school is asking for you at the front gate." I had said to my upperclassman and teammate.
"Geh." Oikawa became disheveled as he looked at me.
"Is it a girl?" Another teammate Iwaizumi asked, to which I nodded in reply.
"Ugh, she came to the school?" Oikawa said in despair obviously not wanting to go talk to her.
"Is it the one you had a huge blow out with yesterday? After you cheated?" Iwaizumi asked him.
"I didn't cheat! It's all a huge mistake!" Oikawa whined. "I'll go see her." He said as he began walking to the entrance of the gym.
'What a waste... The time he's taking to deal with that girl... could be used to practice serving and receiving...' That's what I thought at the time.
After that I noticed that Oikawa wasn't playing so good. He was off, and even the coach thought so, because he had a talk with him.
"Oikawa, you've been off your game lately, huh?" I said more than asked. Oikawa visibly flinched at my words and turned around and tried to beat me up or something, but Iwaizumi was there and stopped him from doing anything.
"Hey, don't take it out on Kageyama." He said as he held Oikawa back. "It's been a whole week! Get over i,t shittykawa!" He said after he released him and smacked him upside the head.
'Oh... his girlfriend dumped him...' I thought.
Oikawa sighed. "I guess only a new love will heal this broken heart of mine..."
"Focus on volleyball. You're gonna ruin yourself one of these days due to romance." Iwaizumi reprimanded him.
'I agree! In my opinion, Oikawa has a horrible personality, an yet... he was always surrounded by other people, loved by them. He seemed really good at forming relationships with others, to me. So for something to drag him around, to ruin his volleyball game even... Love must be a truly fearsome state indeed!' I thought.
~Flashback end~
'But... it's probably important. Everyone's so excited, fantasizing about it... it must be what volleyball is like for me. Though I can't really say I understand it.'
I then remembered the first time I was confessed to.
~Another flashback~
"I'm sure it'd be fun! We can go see a movie together, visit some posh shops, have a delicious lunch..." A cute girl had said to me trying to get me to say yes I guess.
"I... really don't care about that stuff..." I tried saying, annoyed that I had to stay here and talk to her.
"I'm good at cooking, so I can make you a bento before a match!" She said truly trying to convince me to go out with her.
'So stubborn. She doesn't even care how I feel, then...' My mind suddenly thought back to that last tournament I had in junior high. 'Ah, but... I was probably like her back then.' I suddenly felt terrible that she was about to feel the terrible pain of rejection, and i'm the one who's going to cause it.
"I'm sorry. I can only focus on volleyball. I really feel bad that I can't return your feelings... i'm sorry..." I said with my body leaning forward, bowing in apology in her direction.
"I... I see." She said quietly.
'Dammit. Just like I thought. Love is terrifying.'
~Flashback end~
I was running, it was never ending. 'Enough. I'm done. I have no intention of getting dragged down by love. I'll use that time instead to surpass Oikawa. That's right! I'm going to rise higher! Higher! I'll get stronger-' Suddenly i was pulled out of my running trance when something or someone grabbed my wrist. I turned around angrily with a glare on my face, ready to beat up anyone who was getting in my way of getting stronger. I saw it was Hinata, he didn't say anything, but he freaked out at first when he saw my glare. My face softened a little and Hinata smiled that sunshine bright smile at me. I froze.
BE-BE-BEEP BE-BE-BEEP BE-BE-BEEP BE-BE-BEEP BE-BE-BEEP
My alarm went off and I sat up in bed. It was a dream. But my thoughts lingered on how we lost to Aobajosai and I felt frustrated again.
At practice that day coach Ukai gave us a pep talk. "Accept what's happened. That's something you'll need to learn to do in order to move on to Haru-Kou. We'll have to consider how to improve even further now, both as a team and as individuals. Think about what you lack- and work on fixing it!" He finished.
"Yessir!" Everyone yelled with enthusiasm.
'What... I lack...'
"Kageyama! We can stay late today!" Hinata said cheerfully as he walked over to me with the gym key. "We're gonna do private practice, right?"
"...Sure." I answered.
Hinata fidgeted around, but then remained still and stared at me for a moment. "What's wrong? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Hinata asked.
I hesitated, but I decided to tell him. "Last night... I had a dream, and you were in it."
"Huh?" Hinata asked, hunching over a little bit.
"You got in my way while I was running." I said before I began drinking my water from my water bottle.
"Huh?! Don't tell me that's why you're in a bad mood? That's ridiculous!" Hinata yelled at me, while I finished drinking my water.
"It's not. It wasn't all that bad a feeling." I explained while crouching down to put my water away. "Oh right, I wanted to change out my knee pads... I'll go get my new ones from the club room."
After I left the gym more thoughts cam into my head. 'That reminds me... Hinata said he was in love with me a while back... but then he said it was a misunderstanding. So he's interested in romance and stuff? Well that's none of my business now.' I thought as my hand reached out to touch the clubroom door handle, but stopped when I heard Sugawara's voice.
"I wonder if Hinata's all right now..." He said.
'What?' My hand stayed still at the door knob. "No... he's pretending to be fine, but it's clear he's forcing himself." Tanaka said.
"Yeah... still, that was quite a shock! That was the first time i've ever seen him cry like that!" Sugawara said.
"Unrequited love can be nice, though!" Tanaka claimed.
"You're the expert." Sugawara replied.
"Eh?! I'm still reeling, though... that he's in love with Kageyama!" Tanaka had said.
"Hey, don't say his name! Others could hear!" Sugawara yelled at him.
"S-sorry!" Tanaka yelled back.
'...Me...?' I wondered.
"I've got no clue on what advice to give someone who's been dumped... all I could suggest was to try not to cry!" Suga paused. "I wonder if Hinata's ever 'given up' on anything before..."
"What do you mean?" Tanaka asked.
"It takes real talent to keep aiming for your goal without giving up, no matter how painful. But I also think it can be innate... being in a situation where he absolutely has to give something up... may be even more stressful to Hinata than we can imagine." Sugawara said.
Kageyama was done after that, he angrily left making his way back to the gym. 'How in the hell... Is this in any way a 'misunderstanding' dumbass?! And now you're asleep?!' Kageyama thought as he stood in front of Hinata who was sitting against the wall, sleeping.
'Why?! Why would you lie to me about that?! Were you scared of me and just tried to fool me? Were you worried i'd freak out and refuse to give you tosses? Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Why the hell...!' I thought to myself trying to make sense of everything. 'I had no idea why I was so angry. But at that time... I was really pissed at myself for not realizing that Hinata had lied to me.'
I leaned down by Hinata about to wake him up. "O-" I stopped when he started mumbling in his sleep.
"...yama. Kageyama..." He said still sleep, with tears rolling down his face from his sleeping eyes, he looked so sad.
I freaked out and stood up, I had no idea what to do in that sort of situation. I bent back down, getting closer to him again. 'Don't cry, dumbass!' I thought as I wiped away the tears on his face.
"Heh... that tickles..." Hinata said through his drowsy sleep. I rested my hand on his head and began stroking his hair. My eyes widened as I realized what I was doing, and I pulled my hand away from the sleeping boy, staring at my hand for a moment before walking onto the court and fiercely practicing serves.
I was practicing receives for a few minutes before Hinata yelled out. "Crap! I fell asleep!" I look over to see him standing up, and he slowly made his way over to me. "Are... are you pissed?" Hinata asked warily.
"Huh? Why would I be?" I asked out of breath, as I turned to face him.
"Leaving me to sleep is even scarier then!" He exclaimed. "Are you crazy pissed then?"
I turned slightly back towards the court but still looked at him. "Well- you looked really comfortable sleeping." I explained.
Hinata stared at me with wide eyes. "...Has something changed about you...?"
"Like what?" I asked.
"I dunno... you just seem... kind of lighter?" Hinata said in a questioning tone.
I turned back to the court with a ball in my hands, my back facing him. "No clue. But I realized we can't win if i'm tense all the time." I paused. "...Hey... what does Oikawa have that I don't?"
Hinata chuckled and brought a hand up to his mouth. "...Uh, a lot? Height and personality for one! And he's better looking, and probably a lot smarter. Also..." I cut him off by grabbing him by his shirt and glaring at him. "Hey! You asked!" I let go of him and he moved his hand up as if to defend his head from me possibly grabbing it. "Oh, also- he seems more sensitive to others' feelings than you!" He said while smiling.
My eyes widened, and I realized that his words were true... and that they really hurt. I thought about how Hinata was crying before, and felt even worse. "...You've got that right..."
