"Still I ache down to the core. My broken soul can't be alive or whole." —The Phantom, Love Never Dies

3

Her euphoria lasted until she was halfway to the hotel.

How could she have been so stupid? What she had done was unthinkable. Deplorable. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

She didn't even need an authority figure to visit shame and judgment on herself. She was God, father and mother all in one. She couldn't remember enough of her mother to imagine what her thoughts would have been. But what about her father? What would he have said? He was the one who started the whole notion of an Angel of Music in the first place. He would want…he would want…her happiness. Ultimately that was profound, but it got her nowhere.

Had she been happy acting like a wanton whore for the Phantom? Never mind, she shouldn't answer that. It just occurred to her, what if Raoul woke to find her gone? What would she say to him? Would he believe her breezy attempt at a lie if she said she just went for a walk because she couldn't sleep? Of course he would, because he was Raoul and he loved her. She should just forget about the Phantom and the asinine feeling of closure that she needed. If it really was that. The man had tortured her lover in front of her then bade her choose his life or her freedom. The fact that she had serviced a twisted person like that should make her sick…but it didn't.

Even though she had her cover story in place, finding Raoul asleep made her sigh in relief. Life was comfortable, normal, and even enjoyable with Raoul. She should just leave it at that.

Waiting was futile! Goddamn Christine, Goddamn her to hell! No, not Christine. He could never damn Christine. Fine then, he would just have to be satisfied with damning himself. It was two weeks since Christine visited last. Two weeks. He spent the time playing music mostly, in the hope that she could somehow hear it and would come as she had before. He even attempted to clean the rat hole in which he lived. He was going out of his mind just sitting around. Was that her new occupation now? Was it her life's mission to push him toward insanity? He wouldn't be able to condemn her if it was. Still, that didn't mean he had to like it.

Indeed it didn't. He was going to find her, whatever it took. And once he found her, he would visit upon her the madness of his mind.