a/n
Joey tries to get some resolution to his problems and keep his family solvent and out of his business.
"Joey, you in for tea?" Nellie came into the parlour from the kitchen.
"I am mam, yes." Joey looked up from his newspaper.
Nellie began to smile. "And are you out tonight?"
"No mam, not tonight."
Nellies smile widened. "It'll be good to have you around this evening son." She gripped his shoulder briefly before retreating to the kitchen.
The front door crashed back on his hinges, only one person does that thought Joey, as Billy rocketed through the door.
"Any tea on mam? I'm starving."
"Don't you think you should have tea across the road with your wife, Billy?" Joey asked.
"No, her cooking's rubbish in comparison to me mam's."
Joey raised his eyebrows.
"Billy, I won't like it if my husband compares my cooking to his mam's and goes off home for his tea every night." Aveline had come into the house and heard Billy's remark.
"But it is though. Mam bought us up to tell the truth, and that's what I'm doing."
"Sometimes Billy, you have to use tact and diplomacy in this world." Joey felt he ought to say something to his youngest brother about his thoughtlessness.
"You're wasting your time Joey trying to talk to Billy about using tact and diplomacy." Adrian had followed Aveline in. "Is tea ready mam? I'm starving."
"Won't be long now luv, and was that our Aveline I heard?" Nellie called back.
"It was mam, and guess what? Mr Andre's got me a shoot for a listings mag."
"Oh, that's good luv. Come through and tell me all about it."
It hit Joey that Billy had no experience of a father who was around all the time. By the time he'd been born their dad had been playing about with Lilo Lil and had stopped being a continuing presence in their lives.
He had one more go. "Well Billy, don't you think you should be over there for Francesca? She needs both her parents."
"I am over there, just not all the time." Billy genuinely could not see what Joey was getting at.
Joey gave up, and shook his head, just as Jack came in.
"Tea."
They headed into the kitchen together and sat down, Joey smiling to himself. This was what he loved, his family around him, sitting at the table, eating together, laughing together. Though he still felt Billy should be with his wife and baby. Not that he could talk. If Roxy's child was his, he'd have been there for him less than either his dad or Billy had been for their kids. He wondered again if Stan had accepted him, knowing he wasn't his. Had he just been devastated the day he'd left him in his pushchair in Kelsall Street or had he always been like that towards him? Did Stan suspect or even know who his father was? The warm feeling he'd felt a few minutes ago had evaporated to be replaced by the familiar heavy pressure on his shoulders, dragging him down. And the anger. He couldn't shake off the anger either, it kept bubbling up inside him. He didn't understand why. The last thing he wanted to feel was anger towards the mother of his child, if that's what she was. His stomach felt like a lump of lead had settled in it. Another meal he wouldn't be eating
Nellie sighed deeply and shook her head as she came to clear Joey's plate, realising immediately that the food had been rearranged not eaten. She wandered into the parlour where Joey sat watching Ever Decreasing Circles with the others. Nellie could see his eyes weren't on the screen but unfocused, his mind no doubt fixed on his personal demons. She pursed her lips and returned to the kitchen.
"Joey, you awake?" Adrian didn't really need to ask, night after night he'd been aware that Joey was laying there staring into the darkness, or moving restlessly in his bed.
"Yes." Joey whispered, keen not to wake Jack and Billy. Though actually they were both such sound sleepers he could probably have shouted back to Adrian without waking them.
"Can't sleep?" Adrian grimaced. That was such a lame question to ask.
"No." Joey was abrupt.
Determined not to be put off, in spite of his brother's tone, Adrian had another go. "Are you worried about anything?"
"No."
"Oh," Adrian knew he was lying, and thought he had an idea about what, so he had one last try. "If you do ever need to talk you know I'm here."
"Thanks, but I'm fine. I just find it difficult some times to get into a regular pattern, you know being out some nights, not others." Joey came up with a plausible reason for being awake.
He turned over away from Adrian. It was thoughtful of him though. He always meant well, but Joey knew that talking to Adrian about Roxy would inevitably lead straight back to Carmen, and Joey just wasn't in the right place to deal with all that. He could barely hold himself together at the moment, let alone support anyone else.
Night after night the same questions had been chasing themselves through Joey's overwrought brain, and tonight was no exception. Swirling round and round, 'Was the lad his?' 'What about the one she was expecting?' 'How had Stan treated the lad?' 'Had he laid hands on him?' After all he had assaulted Roxy. Rage always overtook Joey at this point, the idea of a grown man hitting a woman or child. Unconsciously, once again, he clenched his fists.
These thoughts and more were torturing Joey constantly. The obvious way to lay them to rest was to talk to Roxy, but... He shook his head and frowned. She'd always been able to manipulate him into doing exactly what she wanted, so how was he going to handle her any differently this time. After all, how far had she planned to let things go before she told him about the lad and her pregnancy? Or had she been prepared to abandon the boy? Martina was right, he had to find the courage to face her and find out just what the hell she thought she was playing at.
He resolved to go round tomorrow evening, no must be today by now. This evening then, he'd go round this evening. He finally fell into a fitful sleep.
He pulled up outside the place he had found for Roxy, and knocked on the door. He'd paid the rent in advance for six months, so she'd have no need to worry for a while.
A young woman answered the door. "Yes?"
Which threw Joey completely. "Oh, er, is Roxy in please?"
She frowned. "Who?"
"Roxy. She was living here with her son."
"Hang on." She called back into the house. "Mam."
A middle-aged women appeared. "Yes luv?"
"I was looking for Roxy, she was living here."
"I don't know anyone by that name luv, but we've only been here a few weeks ourselves." She thought for a moment. "I can knock opposite if you like?"
He nodded.
She rang the bell, and spoke to the woman who answered and they both came back over the landing.
"She wasn't here long when she went back to her husband. Good thing really, she was expecting and had a little lad. I hope they managed to patch things up. It's sad isn't it when kiddies are caught in a break up?" The woman looked quizzically at Joey.
"Yes, yes it is. Thank you. I'll be off now." Joey could barely get his words out.
Agitated, he went downstairs, got back in his car and drove round the corner. He pulled over and switched the engine off, needing to clear his head before he went any further. Joey stared unseeing out of the windscreen. He couldn't believe that Roxy had gone back to Stan. After all that had happened. The way he'd been knocking her about. Everything she'd said about not loving him. She was working and with her housing costs met for a bit, surely she could have managed on her own. Work, of course, he'd ring there in the morning. Perhaps phone contact was better. He hoped he could harden his heart and not get tangled up in her web again. Trouble was he knew his own weaknesses, the honeyed tones, the liquid eyes, the chance to be with her. Regardless of everything that had happened, the merest suggestion of intimacy would send him careering towards her. Perhaps that was just what he needed right now, that and perhaps a job or three. He came to a decision and picked up his phone.
"Mam? Count me out for tea, I've got a job on. Yeah, just come up. Be back later."
He started up, and made his way to one of the spielers that operated in the derelict Ropewalks area of the city. Joey was confident he could meet both his requirements there.
A few hours later he pulled up outside home, with a job lined up for tomorrow night, two for next week, including MC at a big auction on Friday, which was always a big payer, 100 quid he'd won off Yizzel in his pocket, thanks to Freddie Joey knew his way around the poker table, and he'd picked up a vacant, but nice looking girl with her own place at Allerton.
"Evening all," he swaggered in and placed £50 in the pot. He filled the kettle. "Tea anyone?"
Breakfast over, the kitchen began to empty out. Joey glanced at his watch. Right, he needed to stop prevaricating and make that phone call. He got up, kissed his mam goodbye, drove off down to Toccy Dock and parked up on one of the abandoned quays. Joey took out his phone and dialled quickly before he lost his nerve, but the voice that answered wasn't Roxy's.
"Could I speak to Roxy please?"
"Sorry, she's no longer working here. Can I help you?"
"No thanks." Joey put the phone down.
The last hope that he could talk to her and get some answers was gone. Joey thought back to the day Stan dumped the lad at Kelsall Street 'I don't suppose she told you about him, or the one she's expecting, and neither of them mine.'
Why did he think the one she was expecting wasn't his? Would Roxy have started up again with him if she'd been pregnant already? Actually, knowing Roxy the way he did, Joey had to admit to himself that anything was possible.
Oh God, was he responsible for both her children and how the hell was he ever going to find out now?
