Ah, last minute vacation that Dad took us in. A three whole months of relaxing, taking it easy, not worrying about the homework or the bullies, only the language difference of being in another country.
Unless you're me.
The boy with glasses clinging for dear life is my lil' brother Yukio. The one driving the gold cart is named Dipper, and the girl about to puke is Mabel. I am...well, the one who's trying to catch the golf car before the thing catches me. Yeah, the one running. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror.
Don't worry, as Yuki says, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
After registering in the local hotel, the family of three went to explore the town, Yukio acting like a child that has just learned to read craning his head to look at all the signs and letters in English. Rin observed the people and was more than a bit surprised about some of them. A brown haired girl with braces suddenly gave him a note and took off. Mendoukusei, Rin huffed in frustration, English wasn't his forte by any means. He turned to his dad and brother.
"This is a tourist trap." Shiro commented. Rin blinked, he had been so focused on looking around that, ironically, he hadn't paid attention to where were the headed.
"Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" an old man wearing a fez proclaimed. The supposed 'Sascrotch' turned out to be a Sasquatch wearing underwear.
The Mystery Shack. "Why would anyone come here?" Yukio muttered to himself. "Though the pun was funny." he noticed his dad's face was an interesting shade of red. "Ne, Tou-san, what's wrong?"
"I know that man." Shiro replied with his gaze fixed on him. "He sold me fake holy water once. As soon as this little tour ends I'm going to have a few words with him."
"Ne, Yuki," Rin said, holding a letter and looking utterly confused. "A girl just gave this to me. Can you translate this?"
Yukio nodded as Rin handed him the note. "Sure, Nii-san. Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely? What?"
Rin snatched a pen from the various merchandise there was in there. "Can you help me write something in English?"
Meanwhile, the girl half of the Pines Twins was more than a bit surprised when the boy she had given the note went to her, with another boy with glasses in tow.
"Eh...Konichiwa. Watashi wa Rin desu." the blue-haired boy said before handing her the note. "O-namae wa nan desu ka?"
Mabel stared at him. "Huh?"
"Mabel, he's foreign." Dipped interjected. "I think he didn't understand you letter."
"I did." the boy with glasses chimed in. "I translated for him. I am Ok... um, Yukio Okumura, and this is my Nii-san, Rin Okumura. Nii-san means big brother."
Mabel was pretty happy. Another pair of twins! She read the note, the options were unmarked but he had written 'can we be friends?' instead.
"I'm Pines Dipper," the boy twin said, having picked up on the differences on names and surnames. "And she's Pines Mabel."
Rin whispered something to Yukio. "Which one of you is the elder?" Yukio translated.
"We're twins." Dipper said with a small smile. "It doesn't matter."
"I'm the elder." Mabel said proudly.
"She's his Nee-san." Yukio tried to make Rin understand. "A pleasure to meet you, Dipper-kun, Mabel-chan."
Dipper caught Mabel's glint in her eyes. "Oh, no. I'm not calling you Nee-san!"
"Aw, why not?"
Yukio wasn't sure what to expect when Dipper unexpectedly came to him a few days after arriving in Gravity Falls. He could understand why he would, being one of the few ones close to his age, and being the only one who had interest in common with him.
The glass wearing boy looked at Dipper skeptically. "You found a book about demons in the forest."
"What?! No!" Dipper protested, snatching the red book out of Yukio's hands. "First of all, this is a journal. Second of all, those are not demons, those are supernatural creatures! There's a difference." Well, Yukio didn't want to argue with that. 'Floating eyeballs' 'Giant vampire bats' 'Cursed gnomes'. Yeah, no demons in sight.
"...In Gravity Falls, there's no one you can trust." Yukio read. "TRUST NO ONE. Why are you showing this to me, then? I would have thought you would show this to Mabel-chan."
"I did." the hat wearing boy replied. "But Mabel has this crazy idea of us being some kind of mystery solver team... And she did say she was going to tell Rin, so I didn't want you to feel left out."
"Oh." To say Yukio was surprised was an understatement. "That...Arigatō, Dipper-kun."
Dipper grinned. "Dōita...Dōita...You're welcomed." Mabel had taken it upon herself to teach the elder Okumura brother English, and in the three 'lessons' they had had so far, Dipper had managed to pick up some Japanese as well.
"It is 'Dōitashimashite'." Yukio corrected.
"Another note?" Rin sighed as he watched his first female friend try her luck with yet another boy. With a a note similar to the one they had met. Reading again the English notes given by Mabel, he shook his head, as though remembering something. "Hai, Dipper said..." he stopped when Mabel paid attention to him once again. "Something... boy crazy phase? Too crazy?"
"It had to happen some time, Rin-chan." Mabel retorted, her eyes glued to the boy who was currently reading her note.
"Don't call me Rin-chan!" Rin fumed, eyes blazing.
"Okay, okay, sorry, sorry." Mabel sighed. "But you know, this notes method will work out sometime!"
In answer, Rin grandly gestured to himself. Mabel grinned. "That doesn't count, you dummy. You said you wanted to be friends. Besides," she scribbled some more words for Rin in a sheet of paper that Yukio had already explained her the kanji of. "I am a girl with very high standards."
The blue-haired boy showed her the messily drawn plate with food he had drawn. 'I can cok' was written underneath.
"Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!" she joked. "Joke all you want, Rin, but I wouldn't be surprised if the guy of my dreams walked through that door right now." She remarked, pinging over her shoulder to the opening between the museum and the gift shop.
In walked Yukio.
"Ugh, why," groaned Mabel, while Rin giggled. "Otōto-four-eyes and Mabel?" the thought was very giggle-worthy.
"Quick, don't let your soulmate get away," laughed Dipper, walking behind Yukio. Mabel glared. "For your information, this girl got a date."
"So why were you...?"
"The note was plan B, Rin-chan."
"So, in the three days we've been here you already got a boyfriend." Yukio deadpanned. Mabel nodded while ignoring Rin's indignant cry.
The doorbell rang a couple more times. "Ooh! Coming!" Cried Mabel, running off. Dipper climbed onto the empty chair, opening the Journal.
Stan walked into view. "Whatcha reading there, slick?"
"O-oh, nothing." He quickly swapped out the Journal for a random magazine. "Just reading up on…" he checked the cover. "Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?"
"That's a good issue." Stan sipped his pop.
"Heeeeeeey, family and friends!" Mabel called. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" The boy turned…
He had wide, space-y eyes, unhealthily pale skin, and was, indeed wearing a dark hoodie. His brown hair covered one glassy eye, and he had a red spot on his cheek. He had a twig sticking out of his hoodie.
He lifted a hand, completely ignoring the creeped out stares he was getting. "'Sup?"
"Hi." Came from the twin, while a "What's hangin'?" Came from Stan. Identical 'Konnichiwa' came from the Okumura twins.
Mabel grinned, rubbing her boyfriend's arm. "We met at the cemetery," she gushed. "He's really deep." She squeezed his arm. "Ooh, a little muscle there! What- what a surprise," she stuttered.
Dipper raised an eyebrow. "So, what's your name?"
The boy stiffened. "Uh, Normal… Man!" He groaned.
"He means Norman," Mabel sighed.
"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Asked Yukio pointing to the red spot dripping down Norman's cheek.
Norman looked around, and then grunted, "It's jam,"
Mabel gasped. "I love jam!" She cried, giving him a light shove. "Look at this!"
"So, you wanna go… hold, hands… or… whatever?" Moaned out Norman in his gravelly, croaky voice.
"Oh- oh my god," she giggled, "Don't wait up!" She ran out.
Norman made a handgun toward the five remaining occupants of the room and stumbled out of the house, crashing into the doorframe and other things in the house.
"You think Norman is zombie." Rin more asked than said as he watched Dipper spying on his sister's date. "That doesn't exists!"
"It's that's doesn't exist." Dipper corrected. "Rin, you saw the Journal. Something about that guy is creeping me out!"
Rin couldn't argue with that. "By the way," Dipper asked. "I thought you would be telling Mabel about this."
The blue-haired boy shrugged. "Either this or studytime with Yukio and Tou-san."
Dipper and Rin spent the next few hours spying on Mabel and Norman. With the Pines twin trusty video camera, they recorded everything they did, from frisbee (Norman didn't react fast enough to catch it,mans it bonked him on the head) to walking through doorways (Norman punched through the glass of the diner door and opened the handle from the inside) and running through the graveyard (Norman fell through a newly unearthed grave).
Rin had to admit Norman was really creepy.
"...Are you not listening to me? This town is plagued with demons!" Yukio said in an angry whisper to his dad. Rin had gone outside of the hotel room, claiming Dipper had called him for...whatever reason. "Today my mosquito bites spelled out 'beware'." Yukio pulled out his arm.
Shiro grinned teasingly. "That spells, 'Bewarb'."
"Not the point! Nii-san can be in danger!" it was an odd sight to see the boy so worked up. "Dipper found this journal that says..."
"Yukio," Shiro said in a calming tone. "I'm sure it's nothing. We haven't seen a single common demon since we arrived. I think things are going to be just fine."
The glasses-clad boy looked out of the window in time to see his big brother being driven away by Dipper in a golf cart.
"...Tou-san, I think I'll be going for a walk..."
The golf cart careened towards the forest, the desperate driver calling out, "Don't worry Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!" "Maybe it's no zombie!" the one in the driver seat said.
"Help!" It was Mabel.
"Hang on!" Dipper zoomed down a hill, sliding into a part of the forest that was a deep, mossy green, full of toadstools. The walls of the tunnel gleamed.
On the other side of the tunnel was a place one imagined Fairyland to be. Sparkly and sunny, full of pastel green. On top of a tree stump was a small man with a brown beard, saying, "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is going to be for everyone! You- you know what, Steve, just get her arm there…"
And there was Mabel herself, surrounded by feral-looking little people. She flailed an arm, trying to break free of the mini man biting down on it. "Ugh- die you gnomes, die-" she punched one, and kicked another. The kicked one sparkled, and stumbled over to a tree, then proceeding to puke rainbows as if he had eaten Nyan Cat.
The confused male twin just watched the incredibly strange scene for a second, before exclaiming, "What the heck is going on here?!" A gnome ran by, hissing at Dipper. "Aaah!"
"Dipper! Rin! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, and they're total jerks!" A gnome reached out and yanked on a chestnut lock. "Ow, hair hair-"
"Gnomes?" Dipper pulled out the Journal, flipping to the page about said tiny men. "Huh, I was way off. 'Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown…" this was bad.
Rin, meanwhile, had absolutely no problems pushing the little guys around (making more puke) and was already reaching Mabel.
"Oh! Hey there," said Jeff, laughing nervously and twirling his fingers. "This is just a big misunderst-OOF." With a quick 'thanks' to her blue-haired savior, Mabel had proceeded to go to the golf cart, knocking Jeff over in the process. Both boys quickly followed her example. Dipper got in the golf cart and put it in motion. Rin...wasn't so fast.
"Wait for me!" Rin ran behind the golf cart with surprising speed. Behind him he heard" Gnomes of the forest, assemble!"
Hundreds of gnomes peeked out from their hiding places, answering their leader's call. They swarmed around the brunet gnome,interlocking and piling, until it formed a giant structure…
Yukio had been following the golf cart's marks when he got almost ran over by it. Dipper had hit the brakes hard, so Yukio wasted no time getting up.
"Wait wait we forgot Rin!" Mabel said. She needn't have worried, as the older Okumura twin was running only a little behind.
"What is going on?" Yukio asked, already clinging for dear life.
"Mabel's boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes so Rin and I went to save her." Dipper summarized.
"...Nani?"
BOOM
"…what was that?"
BOOM
"Yes!" Rin cheered as he finally reached the cart and climbed to it, not without difficulty.
BOOM
They turned…
A giant gnome monster. "Okay, teamwork guys, like we practiced." Jeff pointed, and, in a King Kong impression, the gnome beast threw its 'arms' up and roared.
"Move, move!" Dipper quickly obliged, flooring the gas.
"Come back with our Queen!"
"Rin, it's getting closer!"
Projectiles were thrown. However, one gnome missile landed on Dipper's face.
"I'll save you!" Mabel threw punch after punch, non seeming to have any effect. Rin and Yukio quickly joined, managing to throw the gnome away.
"Thanks, guys," the brunet hadn't escaped without a black eye.
A tree was launched towards the pair, and landed on a rock. The cart spun under the gap, narrowly missing the crash. However, the vehicle careened out of control, landing on its side just outside the Mystery Shack.
The gnome monster stomped up behind them.
"Stay back, man!" Dipper hurled a shovel, which bounced harmlessly off the moving mound.
It pounded the ground, and both sets of twins clung to each other, letting out twin screams.
"Where's Tou-san when you need him?" Rin grumbled. The kids had their backs to the wall. "It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"
"There's got to be a way out of this!" Yukio's mind was racing.
"I've gotta do it." Stepping forward, Mabel looked strangely serious.
"Mabel!"
"You can't do this!"
"Are you crazy?!"
"You've got to trust me."
"What?"
"Guys, just this once, trust me."
Dipper hesitated and stepped away. Yukio didn't look convinced. Rin looked like he'd hoist her up and carry her away the instant things went south.
"Alright, Jeff. I'll marry you."
The monster did a jig. "Hot dog! All right, watch out, Jason, watch out, get out of the way…" Jeff climbed down, and slipped on the ring, doing a little dance. "Batta bing batta bam! Let's get going to the forest, honey!"
"You may now kiss the bride."
Jeff stopped. "Weeell, don't mind if I do." He puckered his lips.
Mabel leaned down… (an energy hummed in the air, user ready to step in if necessary) reached behind her, switched the leaf blower on, and brandished it toward Jeff.
He walked forward, struggling to escape the suction, bit got sucked in instead. "That's for lying to me!" She turned up the force. "This is for breaking my heart!" And then she put her hand on the dial. "And this is for messing with my friends!" She turned to the three boys. "Which one of you would like to do the honors?"
Dipper stepped up. "Don't mind if I do." And be switched it to forward.
Jeff was flung out, smashing through the monster, causing it to fall to shambles. He kept on flying, arcing deep into the forest. "I'll get you for thiiiiiiiiiiiiissss!" His voice faded away.
The gnomes landed in piles. "Who's giving orders? I need orders!" "My arms hurt…" "Let's go!"
"How are we explaining this to Tou-san?" Rin asked worriedly as he and his brother walked up the street that led to the hotel.
"It wasn't our fault exactly... but I can tell him if you want." Yukio smiled.
"Really?! Thanks a bunch Yuki!"
"No problem."
"Ne, Yuki, in the future, remember to tell me if your first girlfriend turns out to be a bunch of gnomes." Rin laughed.
"Of course i will." Yukio smiled back. "We're family; we don't..." he faltered for a moment, gaze darting away for a split second. "We don't keep things from each other."
"Nope." Rin's grin turned playful. "Race you to the hotel. OnetwothreeGO!" Yukio barely had time to blink before his big brother had sprinted away.
"Nii-san that's not fair...!"
Mendoukusei: translates to 'what a drag' or 'this sucks'
Tou-san: Dad/father
Konichiwa. Watashi wa Rin desu: Hello. I'm Rin.
"O-namae wa nan desu ka?: What's your name?
Nii-san: Big brother
Otouto: Little brother
Nani: What (basically Yukio being baffled with Dipper's explanation)
This will slowly divert from canon from both sides, and I will need you input my dear readers.
H. E. B.
