A/N: Just throwing this out to show I haven't forgotten. It took forever and I'm still not convinced I'm conveying it right. Still, staring at it won't help so I'm posting it now.

Huge thanks to everyone who has commented on or alerted this fic. I think it's my favourite so far, I tried really hard to get the atmospheres right. Only one more part after this or maybe two, depends how it goes. I have amped up the rating on this chapter, surprisingly, it's not gratuitous, it's very pertinent to the plot.

The epigraphs which head up chapters 2, 3 & 4 are from the song Stranger In Your Soul by Transatlantic


Whatever you're looking for

Don't ever start looking behind

Whatever you want to change

You better start changing your mind

'Cause everything can be done

Stand up 'cause this is your time


That awkward nagging feeling that something was just a little off continued to bother Stiles but over the next couple of days things gradually started returning to their usual order. Oddly, he felt a little relieved one morning when Derek went apeshit at Stiles for running out of clean clothes and having to borrow some of Derek's own.

"Do you not know how to operate a washing machine?" Derek spat at him harshly. "It's quite simple, even a halfwit child could manage it."

"Come on Derek, I've not been home in almost a week, give me a chance." Stiles wheedled to his lover, walking over and throwing his arms around Derek's neck. "I'm sorry, just lend me a t-shirt, only for today."

Derek broke Stiles' hold with a flick of his wrists and walked away. "It would be great if I just got one or two of them back some time."

"Yeah", said Stiles, "Okay..." and he figured it was back to business as usual with Derek after that.

The same afternoon, after Stiles was back at his house doing his laundry, Derek sent him a text.

I'm sorry too, come back over tonight, just the 2 of us

It was more than Stiles could manage - to ignore a contrite Derek, so he smiled to himself and replied:

Promise?

Yeah, there's something I want to try

Now ur talking! K C U l8r

Stiles put together an overnight bag that he hoped would cover for several overnights and hunted down every last one of Derek's t-shirts that he'd 'borrowed'. Well, except one, a very old, very soft grey shirt that Derek had accidentally left behind one time. Stiles took that one to bed with him when he slept at home because there was still a slight residual trace of Derek's scent about it.

He arrived back at Derek's to find that the wolf had uncharacteristically prepared a dinner for them it seemed that they had returned to scary nice again. Because Stiles didn't want to do anything to bring on another Derek rant, he ate all the food and refrained from mentioning the burnt meat and undercooked vegetables. He did, though, promise himself to ban Derek from the kitchen whenever possible in the future.

They were sat having coffee afterwards – Stiles' was decaf – when Derek took his hand and said, "I want to see if something works."

"Okay", said Stiles, "what?"

"There's these stories I've been told and things that I've read that say that if mates are completely attuned to each other then one can sense the other one's experiences."

Stiles sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "But don't you have that already? I mean you always know when Scott or Jackson have extreme emotional moments and you rushed over to me in a panic once and I'd only fallen over my desk chair."

"Yes, I mean no...This is deeper than that, much deeper. I'm talking about literally living another wolf's experiences."

"Wow!" breathed Stiles, "That would be amazing but would it work with me being human?"

Derek heard the tinge of disappointment in Stiles' voice as he described himself. Stiles had never asked to be turned and Derek wasn't even sure if he'd do it were he to be asked. Aside from the inherent dangers of the change, he actually liked Stiles as a human. Excepting strength and speed, Stiles had many wolfish attributes and that was plenty good enough for Derek.

Every now and again, Stiles would let slip something that smelt like shame to Derek. After spending a while trying to work out what Stiles was ashamed of, Derek realised that it only happened when Stiles couldn't keep up with his pack in some way; he was ashamed of his own limitations. This though, this could maybe give them the best of both worlds... if it worked...

"I don't know" answered Derek honestly, "there's some indication that it might. I found a tale in my family's histories about an ancestor that achieved it with their non-human mate but they had been paired for years and it was a very long time ago.

"So how does it work? I know you can sense me but my best indication of your moods is by how much you glower at me." Derek at least had the grace to look ashamed himself at this.

"I guess we concentrate on each other. The writing was vague on the actual mechanics except to say that the pair had a very powerful, deep link. It must be to do with strengthening the mating bond somehow."

"OK", said Stiles and he took Derek's coffee from his hands and put both of their cups down. He moved closer on the sofa and took both of Derek's hands in his own. Looking each other in the eyes they moved until their foreheads were touching. They stayed like that, intently gazing at each other for several minutes.

"What now?" said Stiles.

"I have no idea", admitted Derek, "perhaps we just try to make a connection with each other. Do you get any sense of me besides the usual ones?"

"Nope, only that I think you are thinking of fucking me later", smirked Stiles

Derek groaned and broke the eye contact, "Be serious, please."

"Oh I am being serious; I'm completely convinced that you want to pound me into the mattress. You know there's always more than one way to strengthen the mating bond." Stiles chuckled.

Derek ignored him. "This has to be more cerebral than sexual, we have to link minds somehow."

Stiles put his serious face on and tried not to think dirty thoughts; it wasn't easy. "OK", he said, "I'm going to shut my eyes and try and reach out again."

After a little while of nothing happening, Stiles opened his eyes and sighed, "This is stupid, you want me to do something but you have no idea how to do it."

Derek sat back, a little disheartened. "Yeah, I suppose it was mad to expect we could do this immediately. We'll have to keep trying though, something this deep was never going to come easy."

Over the next week, Derek and Stiles tried every night to find that elusive link. To Stiles it felt like he was groping in the dark, as if he was standing in a large blacked out room and had to find a dropped needle. It could be anywhere but he couldn't see it. Derek had a better sense of Stiles, he could already feel him but he knew that was mostly the natural wolf sense for a mate. Still, he was determined to persevere.

It was late on Saturday night, the pack had convened for dinner and a movie. Stiles had shoved Derek out of the kitchen, even though he'd offered to help. There was no way he was allowing Derek to ruin a meal for the whole pack.

As they readied for bed Stiles said, "You know, it's no reflection on you if this thing of yours doesn't work, it's only a myth anyway." He went up behind Derek and put his arms around him, rubbing him gently on the tummy.

"I know", said Derek, "but I want it to work so much, I want to share how I feel with you."

Stiles kissed Derek on the shoulder. "You already share so much with me, more than I ever expected."

Derek turned in Stiles' arms. "It's just my nature as a wolf to want to be as one with my mate, I can't help it."

Stiles leaned forward and laid his lips on Derek's. He sucked Derek's bottom lip between his own before running his tongue across it. As Derek's mouth opened slightly Stiles pushed in with the intention of showing Derek exactly how he felt about his mate.

After a while Stiles pulled away. "Whoa, hot!" he exclaimed. "Maybe you'd like to try being one with me right now?"

Derek looked into Stiles' eyes, his own crinkled with amusement and he lifted Stiles up and effortlessly threw him on the bed. Stiles bounced for a second then lay there watching his lover watch him. When Derek didn't move he made a pouty face and reached out towards him.

"Please..." he wheedled. Needing no further encouragement, Derek stripped off the remainder of his clothing, keeping smouldering eye-contact with Stiles and wearing what Stiles liked to call his sex-face. He dropped the garments to the floor and crawled on the bed to settle between Stiles' thighs.

"Just thinking how perfect you are", mumbled Derek as he stretched over Stiles' body. He sucked a slow kiss on Stiles' neck. "You're perfect here..." He licked down towards Stiles' chest "...and you're perfect here..." Travelling lower, he swiped his tongue across Stiles' left nipple causing the boy to hiss a sigh and arc up closer to Derek's ministering mouth.

Derek sat back on his knees and ran his hands up Stiles' legs towards his boxers. His fingers teased lightly along Stiles' thighs and up over his hardening cock. "And here, I think this is the most perfect thing of all."

Stiles stared blankly, lost in himself; he always forgot just how erotic words could be. Words and touch equalled nirvana. As Derek drew his boxers down his legs, Stiles felt as if his whole body might explode, as if his skin was pressing outward, every nerve ending aching for its own touch.

"So not perfect", Stiles breathed out, "So want to fuck you right now".

Derek reached over him and grabbed a pillow. Instinctively Stiles raised his hips so that Derek could shove it under him. Derek's hands ghosted over Stiles' hip bones and inwards slowly. One circled his cock and the other teased lower, barely glancing his balls, aiming for a more intimate target. Stiles gasped as Derek's finger ran over his hole, pressing in for a moment before circling around and around. All the time Derek was keeping a steady rhythm going with his other hand; not too tight, not too loose, just gently arousing.

Stiles reached for Derek. "Kiss me", he demanded. Derek stretched up and raked his mouth across Stiles', darting his tongue inside for a rough and sloppy exploration. Stiles grabbed Derek's shoulders pulling him away from his attentions lower down and into their kiss. The change of alignment brought their bodies together and Derek ground his cock hard against Stiles' own aroused member.

Lost to carnal instincts they rutted against each other while nipping and licking any flesh they could reach. Stiles, gasping, pushed Derek slightly away from him. "Want you in me, don't want to cum if you're not in me."

Reluctantly, Derek prised himself away from the body that made his life make sense. He hastily grabbed the lube from the nightstand and slicked up the fingers of his right hand. With his left he pushed Stiles' thighs further apart and reached between his cheeks to display his puckering hole. With his index finger extended, Derek slowly pressed in, feeling little resistance. He pushed his finger in and out a couple of times while Stiles groaned above him then he added his middle finger. A little more resistance this time but equally, more delicious noises coming from Stiles throat. Derek twisted his fingers inside Stiles' body, searching for that special place. He found it and Stiles arched up in pleasure.

"No, stop, too good", Stiles gasped out. "You, I need you..."

Derek quickly forced a third digit inside Stiles and finger fucked him roughly for a few seconds. With an agile grace he pulled his fingers away and lined his cock up against Stiles glistening entrance. Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek's waist and used the pressure to pull Derek into him. The head of Derek's cock slipped in and after that it was just a slow glide to complete immersion. Derek could feel Stiles' walls gripping him, sliding over him and he marvelled, as he always did, that the sensations he felt were more stunning than anything else he'd ever experienced. Feeling himself deep within Stiles made him feel like Stiles was deep inside of Derek too. Losing himself to the rush, Derek started to thrust in and out of Stiles.

Stiles had his eyes closed, concentrating on savouring every second of pleasure. It always amazed him how well Derek fitted him. Sometimes he looked at Derek's cock and thought it would be too much but Stiles' giving body could always find room. Together they built a slow and delicious rhythm, pushing up, pushing down, perfectly attuned. Stiles felt the need grow in his belly; his need for Derek wiping away all other thoughts.

With perfect clarity Stiles opened his eyes and saw himself lying wanton on the sheets. He sensed another need, unbelievably stronger than his own and he felt the onrush of an orgasm as he pumped hard into his own body. Wait...what the fuck...!

Stiles sensed his consciousness ping back into his head like a snapped elastic. Derek was still thrusting through his climax and Stiles felt his own come out of nowhere as he spurted cum all up over their chests.

Without even pausing for recovery, Stiles scrabbled away to sit at the head of the bed, arms around his knees.

"Fuck! That was... Shit, I don't know what that was!" Stiles panted heavily, eyes wide in shock. Derek reached up to him.

"What's the matter, what happened?" He asked, worriedly. Stiles looked up at him, teetering on the edge of panic.

"I saw myself, I was fucking myself. I was you!"