"Why? Why did you do this to me? To Lily?"
She kept her back to him, choosing instead to face the black water of the pond. It was easier than turning and seeing those accusing eyes again.
"I did what I had to, Jowan. Surely you, of all people, should know what that's like."
"Even when it meant throwing me to the templars?"
His hand landed roughly on her shoulder and she finally spun around to look at him. The noise of the camp behind them had faded as their voices raised. Alistair and Leliana cast concerned glances in their direction, while Zevran merely appeared curious. Morrigan didn't turn her head from her fire, but gold eyes occasionally flicked toward them.
"It seems that you were willing to go to such lengths! You were dealing in blood magic and Maker knows what else! Did you ever even think what would happen to me if we got caught? Would you have left me just the same, to be killed or made Tranquil or dragged away to rot in Aeonar?" Her voice lowered to a spitting hiss, full of fury and pain. "Don't talk to me about betrayal. Not after you were willing to risk everything I'd fought for."
His face crumpled; the picture of man who'd gambled everything and lost more than he could imagine.
"We could have made it out. I could be married to Lily now; I could have a child on the way that no templar could take. We...we could've destroyed your phylactery, somehow. We could've been free, Kat."
Katherine blinked, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall.
"Could haves and idealism don't make for happy endings. I learned that long ago, Jowan. You need to as well."
"I know you think that. But tell me, is this your happy ending? Bound to an early death with the Gray Wardens purchased with the betrayal of a friend?"
She took a shuddering breath and whispered, "Maybe not. But I escaped an ending at the Circle, and I am content with my lot."
"We shouldn't have to settle for being content with our lives."
"We don't have to be. I'm choosing to be."
Katherine swore under breath and tilted her head upward as a tear trickled down her face. Damn him for showing up again. Damn him for his words. Damn her for not being able to leave him to the mercies of the templars in Redcliffe.
She lowered her voice and spoke quietly. "I won't force that upon you. I lied to you once before to save myself; I'll lie to everyone now to save you from conscription, if that is what you wish."
Jowan looked at her with a dim light of hope in his eyes.
"Of course I want that."
She smiled slightly.
"Then when I take watch tonight, I might not see you leave. Just promise me that you'll leave the blood magic behind. Promise me you'll keep yourself safe."
He almost leaned in to hug her with joy, but stopped short and put on a fake scowl, belied by his words.
"I'll do my best. Better than my best, actually. Can we call this even, then?"
She nodded and suppressed another shaking breath.
"I'm good with that. And Jowan...find a happy ending. For both of us."
