A/N: Yay, another Marauder fic! This is when they're in their second year.
James, Sirius, and Peter sat in a circle on the second-year dormitory's floor, a pile of books between them. If any other Gryffindor had walked in there at that moment, they would have been astonished to find that the normally slacking boys were studying intently, their brows furrowed in concentration.
Every now and then they would make a little note in a notebook that sat between them. But for the most part, the dormitory was silent except for the rustling of pages turning. Silent, that is, until about three in the morning.
"Guys!" James shouted, jumping up. The other two looked up, startled, as their friend held up his book with a kind of manic triumph in his eyes.
"I found it! I know what's wrong with Remus!"
Sirius stood up too, grabbing the book from his friend's hands.
"Under the Full Moon," he read, "A Comprehensive Study of Werewolves."
Sirius looked up. He looked rather pale. "Blimey… d'you really think Remus is a… a…"
"A werewolf?"
Sirius nodded. From the floor, Peter gasped, staring up at James. James' face was grim, but decisive.
"Yes, I do- look at all the evidence, Sirius, you can't ignore it. He leaves every month, on the full moon like tonight, and his excuses for that are wearing thin. And then when he comes back, he's always tired and shaky. Not to mention the scrapes and cuts he's always got…"
Peter stood up too. "And," he squeaked, looking quite terrified, "The week leading up to when he leaves, he's always sick."
Sirius nodded absently, looking thunderstruck. The boys sat down on their beds, each staring at each other.
"But… but why, do you think, he hasn't told us?" Peter asked tremulously.
"Because," Sirius answered bitterly, "Pretty much everyone in the Wizarding world hates werewolves. Can you imagine, being hated by everyone who knows what you are? I wouldn't tell my friends about that in a hurry."
The other two nodded. They looked over at Remus' empty bed. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, as if their worry and sorrow for their friend was tangible.
"Blimey, I hope he's alright…" James muttered, leaning down to grab his book again. He opened it to the page he marked. It showed a medieval woodcut of a man, hunched in pain, caught in the throes of transformation. "That doesn't look pleasant…"
Remus made his way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room slowly, being careful about the bandages wrapped around his torso. He winced as he breathed too deeply, causing a spasm of pain to shoot through him. Madam Pomfrey had wanted to keep him in the Hospital Wing longer, but he'd successfully acted his way out of it, telling her he was fine. He was far from fine, but that was the way it would always be, so Remus tried to make as little fuss as possible.
He glanced out of one of the windows as he climbed the last set of stairs, and realized it was afternoon, and that meant everyone would be in the common room when he returned.
Great, he thought, maybe I should just go back downstairs… I could just sleep in the Hospital Wing after all…
But Remus didn't really want to do that. He saw enough of the Hospital wing as it was, he didn't want to stay there any more than necessary. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he missed his friends. They were always able to make him feel better, even if they did so unconsciously.
Course, if they ever figured out about me, they wouldn't stick around, He thought grimly. He'd had a few friends before he'd been bitten, but after the accident none of them had wanted to come near him.
Finally, in the middle of all his musings, he reached the Fat Lady. "Balderdash." He said, and she swung forward to admit him.
He'd been right; the common room was crowded with students relaxing and enjoying the day off. They looked up as he clambered through the portrait hole, but most of them, used to his comings and goings, didn't pay him any attention and quickly went back to what they'd been doing. He managed to make it to the stairs leading to his dormitory without distraction.
The dorm was empty when Remus entered. It was messy as usual, but the mess seemed to consist mostly of books- a first for his friends. Remus sighed and went to clean up, knowing that if he didn't, the others never would. He knelt down, unable to lean over, and picked up the book on top of the pile.
Common Magical Ailments and their Cures, he read. The next was similar- 101 ways to cure Magical Sicknesses. Now that he looked closely, pretty much all of the books seemed to be about diseases and treating them, but a few, he noted, were about magical creatures.
Then, as he was straightening up, he noticed one book that had been knocked underneath James' bed. When he retrieved it, he saw that there were little slips of parchment stuck between the pages, apparently marking interesting spots. He glanced at the title, and then did a double take, the color draining from his face.
A Comprehensive Study of Werewolves... no…. No - they couldn't have figured it out, not so soon… Oh, Merlin, please, no….
Remus was panicking as he tore the book open, stopping at one of the first marked pages. It was the beginning of a chapter: Recognizing and Killing the Werewolf. He shuddered at the 'Killing' part, hoping his friends had marked that page simply for the 'Recognizing' bit.
One of the slips of paper had fallen out when he'd opened the book. He picked it up; it looked like a list of some sort, written in three different handwriting styles.
Gone every month at the Full Moon
Ill the week before
Wounds
But before he could finish the list, the dormitory door opened. Remus whipped around, his heart sprinting madly.
James, Sirius, and Peter came in, their arms full of even more books. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Remus, kneeling white faced on the floor, the book and a slip of parchment clutched tightly in his hands.
The three in the doorway looked at each other with panic in their eyes- they'd been planning on how to confront Remus, and this was not how they'd wanted him to find out they knew.
James looked back at Remus, who was staring at him with terror in his eyes. A thought flashed across James' mind that Remus looked like a trapped, injured animal- and in a twisted way, he was.
"Remus…" James whispered, stepping forward, "We can explain…"
Remus flinched away from him, looking terrified, as if he thought James would pull a pitchfork out of his school bag at any moment. James' steps faltered and he looked back at Sirius and Peter, silently begging for help.
Sirius and Peter gave each other one glance and then both slowly came forward, until they were level with James. Then Sirius knelt down, so that he was at eye level with Remus, and repeated,
"We can explain, Remus. Just… try to calm down a bit. No one's going to- to yell at you, or kick you out, or whatever it is you're thinking. Promise."
Remus stared at him for a long moment, during which the whole group held their breaths. The silence was so thick it could've been cut with butter. Then Remus gave a small nod, and silently held out the book, after placing the parchment slip back inside.
"Explain, then."
Sirius took the book and passed it to James, and leaned back so he was sitting Indian style. The other two copied him, so that they were sitting in a small circle, facing each other.
James cleared his throat and frowned down at the book in his hands. "Where do I start?"
"Start with why you were poking your noses into other people's business in the first place." Remus whispered, trying and failing to sound angry. He was breathless, likely from fear, though that could be from the wound hidden under his bandages, which was starting to ache.
James winced slightly at the accusing tone in Remus' voice.
"It wasn't like that, Remus. We- we were worried, really. We just thought you were sick or something. We tried to ask Madam Pomfrey,"- here James gave him a weak grin- "But she refused to tell us anything, and then kicked us out for bothering her other patients. But you know us; we don't give up easily, so we went to the library and checked out all these books." He waved a hand towards the massive pile. "We got anything that seemed even remotely possible, actually. We weren't picky."
Remus was staring at his hands, thinking. "So, you didn't figure it out before hand, and then just get the book as confirmation?"
It was Sirius who answered this time. "Nope, you're an enigma to most of us, Mate. We just know you too well. Don't worry; I don't think anyone else'll ever guess."
Remus nodded, still staring at his hands as if frightened to meet their eyes. "So how did you figure it out, then?"
"Well, Thursday night," Sirius said, "after you'd, uh, left, we were in here reading, and it took hours. But then James started yelling about how he'd figured it out. I thought McGonagall would be in here screaming her head off. But then James showed us the book, and we realized he was right. Peter here was about to wet himself, but eventually we decided something."
Remus flinched, sure he was about to hear that they never wanted to see him again. "What?"
Sirius looked at him for a moment, and then broke out in a huge grin. "We don't care."
Remus' head snapped up so fast the others were sure he'd given himself whiplash. He stared at them incredulously for a moment, then croaked, "Don't… care?"
They shook their heads, watching him warily. A thousand emotions chased themselves through Remus' mind and across his face. He settled on furious.
"Don't care?!" he said again, like he was spitting the words. He jumped up, his face wild, filled with a hate that the others quickly realized was not directed at them.
"How could you not care? I- I'm a monster, you know that now, and still you don't care? I- I'm a bloodthirsty monster; I could hurt any of you and feel guilty only hours later! You should be running away from me in disgust, or kicking me out! That's what everyone else did!"
Remus glared wildly at them for a second, but then the expression was marred by a spasm of pain that flickered across his face. His hand shot to his side, where the bandages were thickest.
His friends shot up as he swayed alarmingly, ignoring his protests that he was alright and helping him sit on James' bed. All of Remus' anger appeared to have drained out of him, leaving him looking weary and miserable.
Once he was sitting on the bed and his friends were quite sure he was okay, they sat on the bed opposite. Remus watched them for any signs of anger or fear, but all he saw was worry. This surprised him slightly- maybe they really meant it, that they didn't care.
"Remus," Peter asked, staring at him, where he was still clutching his side, "What happened? Are you hurt?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, Peter, he's just doing that for laughs. 'Course he's hurt!"
Remus smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'm hurt. It's nothing, though. Don't worry about me." He sighed when James asked his next question.
"How'd you get hurt?"
Remus thought about it for a minute, deciding the best way to go about this.
"Well, okay, I'll tell you. Do you- um, you know the Whomping Willow?"
"You mean the insane tree that likes to hit people?" Remus nodded at Sirius. "Yeah, we know it."
"Well, the Whomping Willow was planted last year- because of me, because I came to Hogwarts. It hides a tunnel, and when you go down the tunnel, it goes straight to the Shrieking Shack."
They all looked at him, confused, not daring to interrupt.
"The Shrieking Shack's not really haunted, you know. That's just a rumor Dumbledore's been helping spread. The screaming you hear… that's me. It's- it's very painful to transform. I'm separated from humans, thankfully, but then I bite myself instead. That's what most of the screaming is."
Peter looked as if he was going to be sick.
"So, is that what happened? You hurt yourself?" Sirius asked.
"Well, yes. But it's not intentional. When I'm transformed, I can't control my actions. The wolf takes over. That's why we're so dangerous- when we're in our wolf forms, we can't recognize anyone."
The room was silent for a minute, and Remus thought they might be out of questions. But, of course, he was wrong.
"Remus," James said, "Before, when you were… ranting at us, you said something about people always running away from you or kicking you out. Do they really do that?"
Remus sighed.
"Yes, they did. I had some friends, before I was bitten, and they were always pretty nice to me. But after, once they knew what I was, they would run away if I tried to play with them. I guess their parents told them never to go near me."
"When were you bitten, Remus?" Sirius whispered, catching them all off guard and interrupting James, who had been about to go off in a full-blown rant.
Remus hesitated. He'd hoped it wouldn't come to the specifics. But he supposed they deserved to know; they hadn't deserted him… yet.
"I… I was five years old."
James and Peter just stared at him, white as sheets. Sirius hissed angrily under his breath.
"You were five?!"
Remus nodded.
"I was outside, on the full moon. I think I was helping mum pick ingredients for some potions." Remus furrowed his brow, trying to remember. "One minute, we were just laughing, and everything was fine. The next," Remus broke off, shuddering. "The next, I was pinned under this massive, grey animal, and he was trying to rip my arm out of its socket. Or at least, that's what it felt like." Remus unconsciously rubbed his right arm as he spoke.
"Mum was brilliant; she managed to chase it off without getting bitten. But it was too late for me. Mum and Dad have been trying everything they can, trying to find a cure, but there is none."
"Did you ever find out who it was that bit you?" James asked, looking shaken.
Remus' expression darkened.
"Oh, yes, we know who it was. I used to feel sorry for whomever it was that did it, you know. I know how it feels to lose control. But I don't anymore." He paused, and then continued in a tone that was so uncharacteristically bitter that his friends stared at him, shocked.
"Have you ever heard of Fenrir Greyback?" Sirius and James gasped, but Peter just looked confused.
"It was him. He was the one who bit me. Apparently, my father insulted him, so he got revenge in the worst way possible. That's what he does. He uses the transformations to his advantage, and I think he actually likes them." Remus looked disgusted, an expression that was mirrored by his friends.
"But you're not like him, Remus. You're a nice person who's forced to live a horrible life. 'Course, the same could be said for Sirius." James said, laughing slightly as his dark-haired friend stuck his tongue out at him. Just with the one jibe, however, the atmosphere in the room seemed to lighten, and Remus felt himself smiling for the first time all night. It seemed his friends really didn't care, that they truly didn't mind that their friend had turned out to be a werewolf.
And as if he could read Remus' mind, Sirius turned to him and said, "And, Mate, you're not going anywhere. You're sticking with us. We don't care about your… furry little problem."
Remus grinned as the others burst out into laughter. Maybe their knowing his darkest secret could be a good thing, after all.
A/N: Yes, I am aware this ends rather abruptly, but it is 2:50 AM and I have class tomorrow… er, today. But this is also one of my longest fan fics ever, so be happy! :D
Reviews are greatly appreciated, people. They're like getting a present when it's not your birthday. Can you spare me a few presents? :D
Word count: 3,046 :D
*Mischief Managed
