Scattered
09-23-15 Wednesday: prompt "I could never…"
Summary: He was like the little pile of spilled tea leaves she had pushed under the table.
Word Count: 1150
…
Oliver held a book under one arm. He could not remember the title, but he had decided he was going to need it for the trip.
Mai passed by the doorway, and jumped when she saw him standing in the room that was formerly his study. His desk was cleared, a rare sight. There were gaps in the bookshelves, and some of the books had tipped over. Oliver did not bother to right them.
"I didn't know you were here," she said.
She wore faded blue jeans and a pale pink t-shirt. The worn-out clothes matched the fatigue in her face. Her hair was pulled back in a small ponytail.
She gestured to the book under his arm. "I'm not going to burn them, you know."
"Only because your lawyer said that would be unwise."
Her lips thinned. He had always been able to make her lash out with a single sentence. When she had stopped outwardly reacting to his jabs, he should have been worried.
But in reality, all he thought was that she had put up with him far longer than he expected.
She had been his wife for seven years.
She was now his ex-wife of five days.
"I had expected the boys to be home," he said. Noboru was six years old and Katashi was three.
"They're at Ayako's place," she said. "Please don't just show up unannounced like this. They are too young to understand. They keep asking me when you're coming home. It's stressful for them."
And for you, I assume, Oliver thought, but did not say.
Mai desperately loved her children. Oliver cared for his children, but he found that he kept them at an arm's width, just as he did to everyone else.
As cracks in their relationship began to show, she had used the love for her children to patch the holes, until there was no more room left for Oliver. He was certain she had taken the leftover feelings for him and scattered them to the wind, like confetti – or ashes. Then she had filed for divorce.
"Now that everything is finalized," he said, "I'm going back to England."
"Oliver, I wasn't telling you to get out of their lives."
"I'm not abandoning them," he said, not meeting her eyes as he selected another book off of the shelf. He could not remember the last time she called him Naru. "You know Luella has been sick. I need to visit her."
"For how long?"
"A few months." A few years, at the most.
He added, "Don't worry, the child care payments will keep coming."
She could not stop the small gasp that escaped her lips. "I don't want your money."
"Then you were not clear with your lawyer in that aspect." Oliver turned to her. "Don't be foolish. It's for the kids, not you."
He handed her his key. Mai took it, tightening her fist around the small piece of metal until her knuckles showed white.
"The kids don't want your money either," she said. "They want you. That desire isn't going to last, you know."
"I know." He smiled slightly. "Your desire for me didn't last long, after all."
Mai's eyes went wide, and she attempted to blink away the tears that threatened to fall as she left for the kitchen. He could hear water running, which barely muffled her sobs. He selected another book, and ended up putting them all back on the shelf.
Oliver went into the hallway, and stopped at the open door of the boys' shared room. The apartment had a spare bedroom as well, which meant that the family of three would probably not grow out of the place. Unless, of course, Mai remarried.
The light was off, except for the small nightlight in the corner because both boys were scared of the dark. He did not turn on the switch because he knew the room by heart. The two small beds, side by side. Noboru liked cars and trucks of all shapes and sizes. He had models lined up on his shelf and a crate of matchbox-sized ones under his bed. Katashi love animals, as the large pile of plush toys on his bed indicated. He wanted a pet rodent. Preferably a squirrel, but a rat or hamster would do.
Oliver turned away and continued down the hall.
Mai was sitting at the little table, her small hands wrapped around a mug of tea. She had spilled dry tea leaves on the floor. They were pushed into a little pile under the table, out of sight, out of mind. Like her former husband.
Her head was bowed, as if she could forecast their futures in the dark liquid's reflection. She jerked up.
"Did you want some tea?" she asked.
Oliver shook his head.
She looked at his empty hands. "Where are your books?"
"I've decided I'll just pay to have the rest of my things put in storage."
She nodded and dropped her gaze again. "All right."
It had been a cold, distant divorce. They each had a good lawyer and everything had been divided up equally, including the children.
Oliver just did not know what had been the breaking point, what he had done to tip her over the edge. He had thought Mai had found someone who would treat her as she deserved. He had expected her to seem happier if that was the case.
His pride dictated Oliver would never ask.
"I guess," Mai said softly, "I could never have thought it would end like this."
The front door suddenly opened, and two little boys ran in, small backpacks over their shoulders. They both gasped and squealed simultaneously, as they dropped their things and wrapped their arms around Oliver's legs. Noboru's hair was black, and Katashi's was slightly lighter like his mother's. It was easy to assume they would be handsome when they were adults.
Ayako came in after them, dressed down – at least, for her – in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. She looked Oliver up and down with a slight curl to her lip. It had never been in question which side she would take.
The boys turned to Mai, wringing her hands as they chattered about their day. Her smile was bright and authentic.
"Go take your things to your room, now," she said. "You can't leave everything scattered on the floor, someone might trip."
Their heads bobbed up and down and they gathered their things. Noboru said to race, and he took off, with Katashi in a scramble to follow.
Oliver watched Mai's face fall instantly.
There was no reason why he was still there. He gave a brisk nod to Ayako, and walked out the door.
Two blocks away from the apartment, he pulled the car over to the curb. He leaned back, and covered his eyes with a hand.
He would just need a moment.
