There was no place on Earth that April was more familiar with than the lair. In fact, over the past near two years, she had entered it even more times than her own apartment. The comfort in the old pizzeria smell and constant sound of the rambunctious brothers was one of her heart's greatest comforts, a strong sense of familiarity that would always stay with her.
When she thought of entering the lair, she thought of it like coming back to her other home. Never would she have imagined that she would be so damn terrified to enter the lair as she was now, not in a million years.
Yet there she was, steps shaky as she rushed through the depths of the sewers on the path she knew so well, dreading the moment she opened the door more and more every step of the way.
She had almost forgotten that her Dad was following behind her, knowing that speaking to his distraught daughter would only make everything worse. It was as if all of her senses had collapsed, the cold world around her only a faded illusion.
Once she had finally arrived to the steps that led to the lair, she felt a sting through her heart that she had never felt before.
It was the silence that scared her the most. The heavy pressure in the air, full of heartbreak and melancholy but still so lost and empty at the same time. The lack of laughter and playful squabbling that usually brought this place to life was completely vacant, leaving it to be as a hallow shell.
Would things always be this way? Is the life that she knows now only a small trace of history?
She has to mentally slap herself out of thinking so pessimistically as she leads herself toward the infirmary, right in the corner of the lab that she had made so many memories in.
Finally, the silence was starting to crack, her only company being a pained whisper that was getting closer and closer to her.
Michelangelo was sitting against the wall with his knees pulled as close to his chest as possible, big blue eyes staring straight ahead of him with a wet coating around them. He had been told to wait here for April, that he needed to calm down before going in there with Donnie. Of course, this only made him quite more upset, for the fear of his brother going without him being there was growing more and more.
He was all alone in the darkness with a heavy head on his shoulders, rethinking everything about the world that he's ever known. If someone so intelligent, so important as his brother would do something like this, what does that say about life itself? Was he not a good little brother, or was his family not good enough? Had he gone too far with his pranks and joking to instigate his brother's suicidal thoughts? What was going to happen if Donnie didn't wake up, if he unexpectedly abandoned them all without him? What would happen if he did wake up?
Mikey pushes his face into his arms with a frustrated sob, angry tears wiping down both sides of his face.
If Donnie wasn't going to be there with them anymore, where would he go? What exactly would happen to him if he didn't exist in this reality any longer? Donnie had already stated his religious beliefs, the time he had told Mikey all of these big words theorizing how science had put this world together and how no alternate dimensions were a possibility. Despite always taking Donnie's word, Mikey had to disagree. He believed that this world was to magnificent to be the product of a scientific mishap, that souls were too complex to just cease to exist after death. Especially now, he could never imagine the idea of Donnie becoming captured by an eternal black emptiness, lacking any continuation of existence. This simply wasn't something that could be even a possibility. There had to be another world awaiting for his brother, somewhere more challenging than this world, the next step of his journey. Maybe somewhere that would be more fitting for his intellect, a place that would be better for him.
Stop that, Michelangelo. The best place he could be is HERE.
Mikey always did believe there was a God, someone he could turn to when he had nowhere else to go. Someone he could ask mercy from, someone who could protect him and his family.
Someone he only talked to when he really needed a savior, one beyond what this world could provide.
"God…" he whispered, closing his eyes and holding his legs shakily, "Please don't let Donnie die. I know why you'd want him with you… he's one of the best guys in the whole world. But God, he's only 16 and he hasn't lived yet and he needs to know how much I love him. If he never knows that, I will never forgive myself. He's so smart and kind and patient…the world would be nothing but ugly without him in it. He can help so many people, make so many people better. He made me better, and he makes everyone else better. Without him, we are going to fall apart, and I'm not ready for that. Please don't end things so soon, there are so many adventures he never got to go on. If you let Donnie live, I promise I won't be a bad boy anymore. I won't make Donnie hate his life and I'll never bother anyone again. I'll try to be a good boy; I promise I will. Just please, whoever you are, please don't let Donnie die. Please don't take my big brother away from me."
"Mikey…you aren't a bad boy."
The sudden voice made his head snap up, his eyes wide with alarm, April was slowly approaching him, her eyes also tinted with an intense form of distress as she reached her hand out lightly for his shoulder.
"No one was supposed to hear that," he whispers back, and April falls back from the shock of the sound of his voice. It was like this wasn't Mikey at all, only an imposter who had a really good costume. The soul of his voice was completely empty, the tone she was so used to completely washed out.
The look in his eyes made her cry out on its own; the usually bright and animated blue eyes now a truly horrible and painful form of grey. If someone were to ask for the definition of despair, she thought of no better description than the look in Mikey's eyes at this very moment.
"It isn't healthy to keep things to yourself," she says, resting her fingers lightly against his shoulder.
"There isn't time for me right now," he replies, his voice lacking of emotion.
"My dad ran in already to help set up the proper medical supplies. He's not a doctor, but being a scientist, his knowledge is useful to help pull together whatever's necessary," she says.
"Yet he's not a doctor. None of us are doctors, and there wouldn't even be promise of him surviving with a real one around anyways. We can do whatever we want so we could always tell ourselves we tried but we all know that he's not gonna make it," Mikey says coldly, not even more tears spilling from his face at the moment.
April can't help but gasp, wondering if this is even actually Mikey she was talking to. The Mikey she knew was always an optimist, the one keeping everyone lifted during the toughest of situations. If he was so hopeless and cynical in this situation, all hope would be gone entirely.
"That's enough of that," she looks away, trying to make her voice sound more stern. "Donnie doesn't deserve that, doesn't deserve some half ass effort just to keep our guilt satisfied. He deserves determination, people willing to do whatever it takes to bring him back and not letting anything get in the way of that. Now I know you Mikey, I know what Donnie expects from you. He knows that beyond everything else, you have potential to do great things. That's why he trusted you with so many things, always taught you and kept your company while he worked. Are you really going to throw all of that away?"
Mikey chokes another sob and looks down, not able to look at his friend anymore. He shakes his head harshly, feeling like nothing would be better right now than crawling into a ball and dying himself.
April feels her heart tug at seeing little Mikey in this state, instantly feeling the instinct to pull him close as delicately as she can.
"Now, I know you're not. You're too brave to give up, and you love your brother too much. You're hurting right now, and you're scared, and you have every right to be. But you know that you can push past that, you can make it your second priority because the first is helping Donnie make it. Isn't that right?" she whispers to him in the most soothing tone she could muster, affectionately rubbing small circles on his back.
Mikey weakly nods, involuntarily tightening his grip on April.
"Out of everyone we got in this house right now, if any of us are going to save Donnie I know it's going to be you Michelangelo. You've been prepared for this day to come and I know you can do it. This is hard for me too, it's difficult not to explode as it is. But we can do it together, for our Donnie. Does that sound like a plan?" she says, pulling back so he can look her straight in the eye.
His lip trembles for a moment more before he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes briefly, pressing his mouth into a straight line. "Yes April, I am ready."
April lightly smiles in triumph, pulling the two of them up. "That's the Mikey I know. We're going to save Donnie; I just know it. Together?" she reaches her hand out for him and feels him lightly smile back as he inlocks her fingers in hers.
"Together. Thanks, big sister," he says, as the two of them walk hand in hand into the infirmary.
April couldn't help but shudder as she enters the room, ignoring all of the sound and commotion around her just for a moment. Her energy was focused on the smell, captivated by the scent of home that welcomed her as she walked through the lab. It was the thick smell of him, the smell that was left on her bed after he had napped there, the smell that was in his neck every time she had hugged him, the smell that filled his lab every time he had first greeted her.
The smell that remained in a specific bra of hers.
Yet when she walks past all of the memories, to the corner of the room where the injured lay, his beloved smell was replaced by the smell of blood and medical supply, and she can't help but wince.
Her father and Master Splinter hovered urgently around the bed in the center, blocking its contents from her view. Raph sat on a chair directly in front of the bed with his nails pressed into his lips and his eyes practically bulging out of their sockets, while Leo paced back and forth in an incredibly ridiculous pace beside them while mumbling incoherent phrases of alarm.
None of them reacted to April and Mikey's presence in the room, continuing whatever it was they were so busy doing.
"I've managed to hook up an IV system and heart monitor, that's a good sign," Kirby says, holding the pale green arm and adjusting the needles now stuck inside of it. When the damaged limb comes into April's sight the light sobs return, her eyes glued to the nasty long gash that ran vertically down Donnie's arm and the blood that continued to flow. Bloody towels surrounded their feet on the floor, and April could have never imagined that so much blood could come out of her best friend.
"Let us take a look and we'll see what we could do," Mikey says, making Raph rise to his feet in a panic.
"Mikey, I don't want you to see this part. Sit on the other side of the room," he commands.
"No, he knows what he's doing. Donnie spent years teaching him this stuff, and he knows more than you'd think about what to do in this situation. Let Mikey check it out," April responds.
"No disrespect to you April, but this shit has got you completely loopy. Have you ever met Mikey? He doesn't know how to do this; Donnie will end up dead he'll end up traumatized!" Raph yells.
"RAPHAEL! What did we discuss about control in this room? If you are going to let your emotions get the best of you, you will be asked to leave," Master Splinter says, his headstrong son shrinking at the sudden reprimand.
"You're going to have to trust me, to trust Mikey, that we are the only chance Donnie's got right now," she says, her words cutting into his mind like a sword.
"You guys are going to have to stitch his wrists, and he'll need a blood transfusion from someone who has a matching blood type. Do you guys keep records of your blood types?" Kirby asks.
"Yes, there's a notepad in the top drawer with different codes and one has all of our blood types, as well as a few of our friends. Good thing we already tested this a while ago," Mikey says, leaving for the drawer.
"What happens if none of us are compatible?" Raph asks in worry. Leo hadn't interacted with anyone for a while now, but even he pauses from his mini breakdown as the words are spoken.
"Chances of that are slim, there's enough of us here for at least one of us to have the same type," Kirby reassures.
"You find it yet Mikey?" April calls back as Mikey skims through the ragged notepad.
"Yeah," he says, eyes quickly skimming the carefully written data. "Apparently, we just barely made the cutoff. April's the only one of us who shares a blood type with Donnie."
April's face lights up, and she had never been so happy to exist in her life.
"I'm going to go on a run to gather some medications that we are going to need for afterwards, and you guys are going to have to take care of the stitching and transfusion. Do you think you could do that?" Kirby says, preparing to leave as quickly as possible.
"Don taught me both stitching and transfusions a while ago, just in case of emergency situations like this. I need to train my focus though, so everyone's gotta go out of here except for April because she needs to donate blood," Mikey says.
"You're fucking insane. You're not going to get me out of here when my brother is dying, and I'm not gonna let you do this unsupervised! You're out of your goddamn mind if you really think I'm just gonna walk out of here- "
"RAPHAEL!" the stern shout made the terrified teen freeze immediately, unable to continue his angry rambling.
"You will obey what is told to you, and you will do whatever it is required for your brother to heal. Michelangelo is our only chance right now and you are going to give trust to him whether you like it or not. You will leave with us now, and silence your angry words. We do not need any more hostility in our surrounding," Master Splinter says, all of the patience missing as his words sting into his son.
Raph nods nervously, sweating and trembling as he begins to get off his chair to take his father's hand. Once he is in reach, Master Splinter uses his other hand to pull in the unstable form of Leonardo, holding his two oldest sons as close as he can as he painfully walks away from his injured child.
"I am going to go into my room to set some prayers for your brother, and practice some new mantras for him," Splinter tells Raphael, snuggling him before he lets go. "Please, take care of your older brother. I'm afraid this tragedy has brought him out of his right mind."
"I'll help him, don't worry," Raph whispers back as he returns the affection, an action rare in both participants unless they were in such unfortunate situations.
Raph waits until his father disappears into the darkness of his room to turn back at Leonardo, who was now staring at the wall and lightly banging his forehead against it.
"C'mon Leo, that ain't gonna do anyone any good," he says, but his words are completely disregarded.
"Leo, I'm not kidding around. We have enough shit to deal with right now for you to be throwing temper tantrums," Raph says, trying to keep his expression hard as he kneels next to his brother.
"Leo…you're better than this. Please, we need some leading right now," Raph sighs, unable to look at his sibling again.
It was like those were the words that finally set Leo off, awoke him from his abrupt panic and brought him to a finality with the true pain crossing his mind.
He finally let out a long agonizing sob, pressing his forehead harshly against the wall as he let out the worse pain he had ever experienced.
Raph watched sadly as his older brother fell apart completely, unsure what to do next or how to comfort him.
"I di-didn't even no-notice," he coughs out, Raph laying his hand on top of his.
"None of us did, Leo. It's a big shock but nobody can really blame themselves," Raph replies.
"I'm hi-his ol-oldest bro-brother, I'm su-supposed to L-LEAD H-HIM! I failed, I failed, I failed, I failed. I'm letting Donnie fucking die," he bursts out, and soon Raph is holding him tightly in his arms.
Usually, Raph would say something about how this self-blame thing is really getting old or how things weren't always about Leo's position, but for now he couldn't do anything but rock his brother as the two of them comforted each other, whispering soothing things in his ear.
"I understand, big brother. All of us feel like we failed him, in a way we all did. But it wasn't your fault and you can't hate yourself like this. He still has a shot you know, at surviving this, and we'll have a chance to make it all up to him," Raph says.
"B-BUT WH-WHAT IF HE DOES-DOESN'T GET THAT CH-CHANCE? What if he's al-already gone and every-everyone is just hiding us from the tr-truth," Leo cries, burying his face into Raph's chest at the thought.
"We both know that's not true, they wouldn't be going through all this trouble if he wasn't going to make it. We have to stay strong Leonardo, have to look a lot tougher than we really are for the sake of everyone else. Look at us now, out here crying and whining while our baby brother is in there putting on a straight face and taking the pressure of saving Don's life!" Raph exclaims.
Leo lets the words sink in, continuing to sob against Raph without sinking as his own self-loathing only increases. He had to be the worst older brother to ever exist.
"It's going to be alright, Leo," Raph says, the two leaning against the wall. "We are gonna have to believe that everything's gonna be okay."
From inside the room, Mikey and April hadn't spoken of anything other than medical instructions. April was sitting beside the bed with a needle in her arm while she transferred the blood as Mikey carefully stitched up his brother's wounds, taking up all of the determination and focus his mind had EVER used.
April stroked Donnie's hand as gently as she could, silent tears seeping down her face as she stared at his sleeping body. His face was so pale and pained, captured in a slight grimace so you could tell how unpleasant he had truly felt. The color, light and warmth that had made up Donatello was draining by the minute, and even though his physical condition was becoming stable she knew that the boy they all loved was far from here.
"Looks like he's going to make it, isn't he?" April says, cuddling his hand as close to her as possible.
"Seems that way, since we got to him in time and had all of the supplies set up," Mikey says, finishing the last round of stitching.
"He's going to be so proud when he hears what you've done, Mikey. He'll be the proudest big brother in the world," she says.
Mikey smiles lightly but it quickly fades away, more worries crossing his mind. "Isn't it going to be weird, when he wakes up?"
April pauses for a moment in consideration, thinking of all of the horrors they may face when Donnie returns to consciousness. "No doubt it's going to be hard, and for a while. But Donnie's strong, and all of us are strong too, and I know we could get through this."
Mikey smiles lazily, ecstatic at the revelation of Donnie's survival but fearsome of what their reality will become. "I sure hope so."
April leans in a little to rest her face in the crook of Donnie's neck, hoping he can somehow sense her light affections in his unconsciousness. A chill runs through her body as she finds the familiar scent of his neck, now deranged by the smell of blood and death scares but still recognizable. Still making her feel like home.
"We'll be home again soon, Donnie," she whispers to him. "I promise."
