Chapter 3: New Beginnings
After a self esteem boost from Donna, and an emotionally draining fight with Michael. Jackie felt way too depressed to go see anyone. Even though breaking up with Michael was probably the smartest thing she would ever do, it still hurt.
For about a week, Jackie didn't go anywhere near the basement. All her time was spent at school, cheerleading, or sulking at her house. She felt so naked and exposed without a boyfriend. By the middle of the week everyone already knew why she and Michael had broken up. It was only a matter of time before her fellow cheerleaders started making snobby remarks about it.
Donna suggested that she go see a movie with her and Eric that night, and promised that Kelso wouldn't show up. Jackie took the offer and for the first time that week actually spent time with her hair and makeup. Sure the whole week she wore make up and did her hair, but there was no enthusiasm behind it.
Around 7:00 the Vista Cruiser pulled up in front of the Burkhardt mansion. Even though romance movies weren't his thing, Hyde decided to tag along because he was "bored". But really he hadn't seen Jackie in over a week other than a glimpse here or there at school and those were only quick passing moments. He had a whole week to really think about his developing feelings for Jackie. After 3 dirty dreams about her, he decided that trying to deny them any longer was only pointless and worsening the situation.
When Jackie hopped in the backseat of the Vista Cruiser, she seemed genuinely surprised that he was there, but only smiled and got in.
About 30 minutes into the movie, Jackie knew the whole situation was a bad idea. Eric and Donna couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other, which wasn't helping with her aching loneliness. Every so often her and Hyde would bump elbows, making her feel nervous and excited at the same time, also not helping with the loneliness. And to top it all off, the movie they were seeing was about a girl who had her heart broken by a former lover and was starting a courtship with a new one.
Looking at Eric and Donna, both whispering and giggling with each other, Jackie felt her chest sink in. Things in life came so easily for them. They were meant to be together forever and have known each other their whole lives. Nothing seemed to come in their way of true happiness. Jackie had always secretly envied their relationship, or at least how happy they were with each other. Even though she made everything out to be perfect, her and Kelso's relationship was far from it, something she was slowly beginning to realize. She began remembering the tiny things that would bother her to no end, and then the bigger things that meant everything that she so blindly denied.
Tears began forming in her eyes. She tried to fight them back yet her sadness was much stronger than her. Her tears slowly slid down her cheeks and now she was concentrating on holding back the long needed sob in the back of her throat. She figured, it was dark and loud, no one would notice if she just stopped fighting and cried. So Jackie sunk a little in her seat and brought her fist to her mouth and just let the waterworks go.
Hyde was in the middle of trying to figure out how the main character could go from being in love with a complete jerk, to falling in love with a total wuss, when he heard a very faint sob coming from the right of him. He turned his head and saw Jackie, her beautiful face now slightly scrunched up and frowning, her fist attempting to hide her mouth. Her eyes were tightly shut and tears made two tiny streams down her cheeks. His heart immediately went out to her.
As Hyde stood up from his seat, he grabbed Jackie's hand and began leading her out of the theater. Even though she was slightly confused, Jackie obediently followed. Once outside the theater doors, Hyde turned to face Jackie and before she could react, wrapped his arms around her body.
Jackie couldn't remember a time she had cried so hard and felt so safe at the same time. With each breath, Hyde's scent of slight cologne and smoke filled her senses and soothed her tears. His strong chest made her forget there was ever anyone before that held her the same. Once her sobs slowed down she felt him lean close to her ear and say, "Let's go to the car." This time he steered her in the direction of the Cruiser by an arm across her shoulders. She leaned into his touch and felt the heavy stares by people waiting in line to get their tickets.
Once they got to the Cruiser, Hyde sat on the hood of the car and Jackie followed. By now her crying had stopped yet she still felt torn up inside. Hyde still didn't try to comfort her with words. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into him as she found his shoulder for a resting place.
They sat just like that, both not quite sure what to say, both not wanting to move. If Hyde could he would freeze time and have them be just like that until he could figure out the perfect words to say. He was never good with comforting others and usually avoided it in all situations… all situations except this one.
Jackie knew Hyde needed an explanation, but the truth was she wasn't quite sure how much she wanted him to know. Even though now he seemed compassionate, revealing too much might call for a burn on his part, something she just couldn't handle right at this moment. As she was finding her words to start, Hyde spoke up.
"You know, you shouldn't let him get to you like this." He was looking down at her through his rose colored sunglasses, their faces inches apart. As Jackie took in the meaning of his words, she had to look away in shame of her confession.
"More like, I shouldn't let myself get to me." She managed to peep out.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Jackie took in a deep breath. "What if I don't find anybody else Steven?"
He squeezed her waist slightly. "Why do you think you're not going to find anybody else?"
"I don't know. Everyone thinks I'm a bitch and pretty much hates me."
"Nobody hates you Jackie…"
"You hate me!" Jackie burst into tears again.
Hyde was taken a back slightly and removed his arm from her.
"Jackie," she noticed his voice got softer. "Do you think if I hated you I would be sitting out here with you on Foreman's car?"
This stopped her crying for just a moment. "Well if you don't hate me, then why would you risk hurting my feelings like that just to burn Michael?"
He knew that would come and bite him in the ass. He sighed.
"It wasn't like that Jackie…"
"Then what was it like, I'd really like to know. You know not everything's a damn joke Steven!"
Now he was getting pissed. "Yeah, only you and Kelso's relationship."
His words pierced right through her, stopping everything around them. He realized the harshness and quickly tried to erase it.
"I'm sorry Jackie I didn't mean it that wa…"
"Yes you did." She wasn't yelling anymore. "You're right. Our relationship was just one big joke." Her voice went distant with her words.
"Look, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It's just…" he had to bite the bullet already. "It's just I told you to surprise Kelso because… well… it was just wrong… wrong what he was doing, and you didn't deserve to not know about it."
She looked up at him. His jaw was clenched and he wasn't looking at her anymore.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" She said while blinking away tears.
"Would you have believed me?" It was more of a statement then a question and the answer was understood.
"Well, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For getting mad… saying that you hated me. You're being really nice to me right now." She wiped her eyes.
"Don't worry about it. You're allowed to get pissed off." And when he smiled at her, her heart seemed to forget to beat.
Jackie wasn't sure why she was feeling this…. awkward. She felt warm all over and everything seemed better only from knowing that smile was meant for her.
Jackie scooted closer to Hyde and wrapped her arm into his, leaning her head lightly on his shoulder again.
With all the girls he had ever been with, Hyde had never felt this confused before. Even with Donna his feelings were very clear to him. But Jackie, Jackie made his whole perspective on things change. All the girls before her, the physical attraction was the only thing there. Yes, even Donna it was mostly physical, the fact that she was his friend allowed him to even consider the possibility of an emotional relationship. But with Jackie things were flipped flopped. He always thought she was hot, but that was more of a natural observation any guy would make. She just wasn't his type at all and he never considered her before. That was until prom, when she forced him to see her in a different light. That night they laughed and talked about just random things but things none the less, something Hyde thought he could never accomplish with the tiny cheerleader. He saw a side of her that seemed different but still was Jackie, as if there was a part of her she hid from everybody else but him.
And that was how Hyde was falling; the emotional was coming first for a change, hiding itself in with the physical just to trick him into allowing his feelings to blossom more. As Jackie pressed her head against his shoulder, their arms resting against one another, her hand tracing circles and hearts into his arm, if the moment were to ever stop Hyde wasn't sure how he would make sense of everything.
And then she spoke, "Steven, I really want to hang out in the basement again."
"So hang out."
"But, I really don't want to be around Michael. We had a really bad fight whenever I broke up with him, and it'll be awkward."
"Kelso has the attention span of a 3 year old. I doubt he'll even remember half the things you guys said."
"Well I remember the things he said and I just really, really don't want to see him."
This perked up Hyde's attention.
"Well what kind of things did he say?"
"The typical Michael stuff… basically the whole time he was trying to break me by telling me how sorry he was and how much he loved me… stuff like that. I don't understand how he can say all that stuff and then do what he did."
He wanted to tell her that Kelso was a jerk, and that he didn't really mean it, but he knew that would hurt her feelings again.
"I'm not sure Jackie. Maybe Kelso's more messed up then we thought."
She just sighed.
Eric and Donna then walked up in front of them.
"Where did you guys go?" Donna asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry Donna; I just got upset during the movie." Jackie answered while removing her head from Hyde's shoulder.
"Okay, so you guys are all cuddled up on the Batmobile because…?" Eric crossed his arms and waited for an answer.
"Steven was helping me in my time of need Eric, unlike you and Donna who can't keep your hands off each other!"
"Look who's talking. This is the second time I've caught you cuddled up on Hyde." Donna took a step towards Jackie almost like she wanted to fight.
Hyde slipped out of Jackie's arm and off the hood of the car. "Alright, alright, it doesn't matter anymore. Everyone shut up and let's just leave."
Everyone began walking around the car except Eric who called out, "Fine, but no more comforting Jackie on the Cruiser. She's innocence and your sick display of sympathy will only contaminate her."
