This fanfic idea comes from the prompt I choose to do for the Bingo Ficathlon at the Robin Hood Fan Community forum.
The prompt was: "Marian accepts Guy's proposal at the end of 'Walkabout', both thinking that Nottingham is about to be destroyed. It doesn't happen. Now they're both left wondering what's next. Will Marian actually go through with the marriage this time? And if not, how in the world does Guy deal with the loss a second time?"
To explain the beginning of this fanfiction, I did a video "It's Our Fight". (You can see it at dolphen3's channel on Youtube.)
English is not my first language. Brokenheirloom, as always, you are an amazing and patient beta, always happy and ready to help! Thank you so much!
I'm also so grateful for all the way you, my fellow readers, show me how much you like my work. Guys, you are really great by supporting me so much! I hope I thank you enough by giving you a story you will appreciate! Thanks again!
As friday is "Guyday", I will try to publish a new chapter each week, so, if you like this story, stay tune :)
Chapter 3:
After all the commotion, I tried to relax in my bedchamber. My mind was rebellious and wouldn't leave me in peace for even an instant. It was as if all of Nottingham had decided to meet in my head and everyone was screaming as if their lives depended on it. In this terrible chaos, two voices overwhelmed the others with their intensity.
"You promised to marry me, Marian! You betrayed me! How could you marry him?" "You are my wife Marian! You can't leave me!" "Marian, how could you deal with our enemy?" "Marian, you will stay with me willingly or not!"
Then the tones changed to pleading and begging: "Don't leave me, Marian, I need you to make this world bearable." "Marian, you've loved me since we were kids, please come back to me." "I came back for you, to die with you, to be with you… don't leave me now, please…" My sobs made my body shudder when my tortured mind perfectly reproduced the desperate tone Guy used with me when he wanted me to believe how strong his feelings for me were.
I felt like a monster… I thought I had made the best decision by marrying Guy, and it really was at the time, but Vaisey's return changed everything and now my wise decision was simply another torment to bear for the two men who loved me so much. What could I do? What decision should I make?
I was sitting on my bed, leaning against one of the bed posts. Robin's emerald engagement ring was on my lap near my left hand where Guy's beautiful wedding ring adorned my finger. I had always loved the ring he gave me even if I had pretended not to on my first betrothal to Guy. It was so pretty, so dainty and simple. I had marveled at how Guy could have chosen this ring over one with more flash, something I would have expected based on his desire to show his possessions and wealth. But no, this one had been perfect! A lot better than the ring he gave me on our first attempt at a wedding… I couldn't believe he had kept my betrothal ring near his heart. I always supposed Guy had a sensitive side but now, the more I discovered how important it was to him the guiltier I felt thinking I might have to break his heart again. I told Robin that Guy had been deprived of love, that it was the reason why he acted as if nothing or nobody could touch him. I was probably the only one who knew how wrong this idea was. How would he handle it if I left him again?
On the other hand, Robin's ring was exactly the kind I hated: large, heavy, gaudy… We had grown up together and he did not even know what I liked. Nothing surprising in that - he never had any real interest in anything except his own desires and wishes. He was so childish sometimes, so selfish; he craved glory and praise so desperately. At those times, I couldn't even bear to be near him, but sometimes he was just…Robin, with his luminous smile, his contagious laugh, his way of living as if nothing could affect him. With him, everything seemed easier because he changed every burden we had to bear into a laugh, even when he didn't have to.
I loved being with him, being in his arms, and when he kissed me I loved the sensation. He made me feel like no one ever had… no… that wasn't exactly true. It was true, until I met Guy…
Oh My God, just saying his name in my mind made my cheeks burn at the memory of the embraces and the heated kisses we shared. Being in his arms was not just a pleasant feeling; I craved it now that I had experienced it. And his kisses… I licked my lips just at the thought of them. Tonight would be our wedding night. If I stayed here with him, he would make me his wife for real. Did I want it; was I afraid, thrilled, anxious, excited? I couldn't answer this question because someone knocked at my door and after hearing my permission to come in, Sarah entered.
"My lady, Sir Guy asks you to join him and the Sheriff for dinner. He said that the Sheriff is in a terrible state of mind and so he begs you to not be late, to wear your most beautiful gown and to do your best to be patient with him tonight."
I could feel Sarah's discomfort while she gave me my husband's message. I smiled to ease her mind and she started to redo my hair after I changed my gown. As requested by Guy, I decided to wear the dark dress I used the last night of Count Friedrich's visit. Guy had tried to hide how much he liked my dress yet I had been thrilled knowing how jealous he was and how much desire I saw in his eyes then. I had to scold myself over that night, how I had been so happy to make him suffer while I hadn't any interest in him, and because I was on a mission… but tonight, when he would see me in my gown, it would be different…
Before leaving my chamber, I gave a last look at my wedding ring and, reluctantly, I slid it off of my finger; as Guy had said, nobody had to know for now. That notion lightened the tension in my body a little.
When I arrived in front of the Great Hall's door, I found my husband waiting for me, lost in his thoughts. As soon as he felt my presence, he turned his head to me and I saw how amazed he was by my appearance; my heart skipped a beat at the heat and desire I could see in his eyes. That was how I loved to see him looking at me: as if, for him, I was the only woman in the world, the only one worth fighting for. "You are," my mind told me with his deep voice, making my cheeks burn and my body shiver with a need I couldn't identify but which threatened to eat me alive.
He came to me, his eyes roaming over my body, lips half opened with a devastating lopsided smile.
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Marian," he whispered huskily while taking my hands in his. I felt so pleased and embarrassed by the complement that I averted my eyes. Suddenly, I felt him stiffen: "Marian… where is your wedding ring?"
Gone was the seductive tone, gone was the tenderness and the desire I heard in his voice. What remained was only the surprise and the suspicion. I raised my eyes to him and took a step back when I saw his face; uncertainty and sadness had changed his features.
"You said you wanted to keep the wedding just between us earlier, I thought I should not wear it tonight…"
I tried to find a way to explain my way of thinking but as each word escaped my mouth, his face became darker, his stern expression taking its place again. He finally let go of my hands, giving me a last glance before turning to the door.
"I see…"
"Guy!" I said as I reached for his arm. "Did I do something wrong?" I was troubled; I only did what he asked of me. Why was he acting so strange?
Finally, he said without looking at me before heading to the Great Hall, "Nothing for now. But I know you so well, Marian. You will before long."
I stood still, trying to understand his words. What was he talking about? Did he know about the decision I was trying to make? Did he know me as well as he claimed he did? That thought was the most disturbing. I had always been proud of thinking I was unpredictable, but now…
"Come, we can't afford to irritate the Sheriff tonight."
Guy's voice was sad, low and strained; it hurt me so much. Would I always be the one to break his heart and make him suffer so much? I sighed deeply and followed him in the Great Hall.
The dinner was a real torture: Vaisey was angrier and more cynical than ever. His words were crude, said to hurt and were almost all directed at my husband who seemed already too affected to notice, but I knew better. Guy was lost in his thoughts about my earlier behavior yet by the way he clenched his jaw sometimes, he heard perfectly the poisoned arrows his superior launched directly at him. He didn't eat anything, avoiding my gaze even when I tried to attract his attention. He was more disturbed than I'd ever seen him and I felt so guilty that I couldn't stand seeing him so vulnerable. Vaisey's vicious innuendos were finally what made me lose my patience and my temper. Without warning, I arose so suddenly that my chair fell behind me.
"Excuse me, my Lord Sheriff," I said, blushing crimson as I received the full and startled attention of anyone in the room. "I'm exhausted. Would you be so kind as to allow me to go rest in my chamber, please?"
I saw Vaisey's sadistic eyes narrow as his mouth formed a pout while he thought for a moment. Finally, he waved his hand to me, saying flippantly, "Yes, leave us. You weren't funny at all anyway. Leave me with my Gizzy… At least he knows how to pretend to listen to me, am I right, Gizzy?"
I stiffened as much as Guy when Vaisey used the loathed nicknamed he loved to call his Master-at-Arms to drag him down. I tried for the last time to share a look with my husband but he kept his eyes averted deliberately causing me to leave the room faster than intended to hide my tears.
I ran to my chamber and let the tears flown freely. I hated how Vaisey chose to humiliate Guy in public! If I could have killed him now, at this very minute, I would do it without a second thought. Guy was already insecure by nature but each day of this treatment didn't help. It only served to hurt him more, to make him think he deserved such treatment, that nobody could love him and that nobody would stay with him… My sobs intensified at that thought; wasn't I the one who thought I needed to leave him?
"Father, mother," I begged my lost parents between my sobs, "please help me! Guide me! I'm so lost… what do I have to do? Do I need to go back to Robin? Do I have to stay with Guy? Father, you were always wise, give me some advice. Mother, I don't even know what I feel anymore…"
Finally, I made my decision and, sliding my wedding ring back on my finger, I closed my door and went to Guy's bedchamber, the one we would share if I stayed here. Fearing to disturb him if Guy had retired, I knocked on the door but he was not there. So, I entered, sat on the bed and waited for his return.
The room was so like my husband that it made me smile; the chamber was simply decorated, his armor, shield and training swords were on the left side of his desk. A white porcelain basin and pitcher were near a silver comb. I could imagine that it was from his family because the silver looked antique and his coat of arms was carved on it. Other than that and a gold and black banner – the colors of the Gisborne family - pinned on the wall behind his desk, the room was almost anonymous. He lived here for 5 years but it was as if this room was a spare one and he a guest.
I closed my eyes and tried to ease my breath when I remembered what he said to me earlier, before the attack: "I don't need wealth, position or even lands. All I need is you… you! You are my wealth, you are my future, but more important than any of that: you are my… HOME!"
"Marian? What are you doing here?"
Guy's grumpy voice made me jump and regained myself. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear him enter. He was in front of me, trying to hide how awkward he felt.
"I needed to talk to you, Guy…"
"Not now, Marian, please, not now!" he cut me off, walking to his desk and unfastening his sword belt, putting it carefully in its place and starting to open his jacket.
"Guy, I'm afraid it can't wait…"
"You're leaving, aren't you?" he asked, stilling his movement, his back to me.
I was so surprised I couldn't say anything else. He sighed deeply, his hand coming over his mouth in a habit I found oddly endearing.
"You only married me out of pity, didn't you? Because you thought we would die?"
His voice was low and desperate; there was no anger or irritation, just so much sadness it made my heart ache for him.
"It wasn't out of pity, I swear to you! I was earnest, you know that."
"And how would I know that?" he shouted as he turned to me.
"Because you know I care for you, Guy."
"You must think I am a fool," he said, and I flinched at the bitterness in his tone.
"I don't think that at all," I said while stepping closer to him, trying to ease his pain. "I have cared for you for longer than you know, and I always will. You are precious to me…"
"I am your husband, Marian. Your HUSBAND!" he insisted, reaching for my arms and pulling me so close to him that it took my breath away. "I could do anything I want to you now. No one would say anything against it. I could take you here and now, against your will."
I was enraptured by his tone; he was desperate, passionate and full of desire. Even his body pressed so tight against mine told me how much he wanted me. All those sensations added to my turmoil. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his neck sending a shiver coursing through his body. I locked my eyes in his and said in a shaking voice, "You wouldn't do that, we both know that. You would never hurt me on purpose."
Guy sighed deeply, raising his face to the heavens before leaning down to rest his forehead against mine.
"I want you, Marian, you have no idea how much. But you're right: I want you to be mine willingly. I want you to want me as much as I want you!"
I bit my lip to prevent me from confessing how much I wanted him right now. It would do no good; it would only add issues and pain we weren't ready to deal with. But focused like I was to keep my need under control, I couldn't help but raise my hand to his cheek, stroking it slowly. He put his hand on mine, sighed and let out a quiet sob that crushed my heart.
"I know you need to go, Marian. All of yesterday's events, our wedding…were too much to handle at once. And I know you, you need to get away to think and take time to make up your mind. As much as it saddens me, I can understand."
He had buried his hand in my hair and I was quite overwhelmed by what he did to me with his touch and that deep voice.
"I know, too, that you lied to me about Robin… you never stopped caring for him. I saw it when he came to help us yesterday. You married me because you thought we would both die, but if you'd known we had another day, you would have pushed me away as always…"
I started to deny his accusation but Guy put one gentle finger to my mouth to shush me. Then he traced my lips with his fingertip, making sparks of electricity course through my body.
"I will let you go, Marian, I promise…"
I was ready to argue but Guy locked his eyes on mine and all the things I saw in his look kept me silent, waiting for what would come next.
"I will let you go if you give me one thing in return…"
"Name it?" I whispered in a shy voice.
"Share this night with me. Stay with me, all the night…"
