Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians or Frozen or any of the characters.
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A million images passed over Elsa's mind's eye. They all came in a rush, memories and feelings; and it all hit the surface of her skin, burning within her soul.
In shock, she reared back until she hit the ice table. Its sharp edge dug into the small of her back painfully, but Elsa could not feel a thing. She kept her eyes on Jack who walked in slowly and winced when he heard her hit the table.
"Hey! Be careful! Calm down, it's alright, ok?" Jack sputtered, he could hear the almost muted roar within the walls, triggered by Elsa's emotions. He held his arms out as if trying to approach an untamed beast, or to take her in. Elsa's hands gripped the edge of the table so tightly that her knuckles were turning absolutely white.
Jack couldn't help but smile a little when he looked her over, and Elsa did the same, studying him from head to toe. He had on his usual attire, along with the gorgeous and familiar disarray of his silver hair. He held on to his staff firmly and naturally, as if it was an extension of himself rather than an object.
"Jack…what are you doing here?" She asked after a long moment of silence.
Jack scratched the back of his head nervously, trying to find the correct way to put what he was about to say. "Well uh," He started, "I dropped in to check up on you, see how you were doing." He shrugged, and tried to leave it as simple as that. "How…how can you see me again?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.
Elsa shrugged, dismissing the topic, and swallowing. As Jack turned away and started looking around, Elsa answered his question in her mind- My foolish mind just desperately wanted something to believe in. Oh Elsa, what have you done? She asked herself, feeling the guilt and fear wrap around her heart.
She released the table from her death grip and relaxed a little, trying to take everything in. She watched him carefully, enamored with his graceful movements.
Jack looked around the room with wandering eyes, his expression was bright. "Elsa, this truly is amazing," He said in regards to her work on the ice castle. He looked at her. "Absolutely beautiful."
This made Elsa blush and she tried to hide her face as she remarked, "Thank you."
"Hey uh, I hate to ask," Jack lied, "But I just came in from a long flight, could I rest up here for a while? I swear, I will be out of your hair before you know it."
Elsa answered, "Yeah go ahead, no problem," absentmindedly.
"Thanks," He leaned his staff up against one of the walls, and sat down on the ice couch. He flashed a crooked smile in remarks of it, but didn't say a word. He just gave her a look.
She couldn't help but laugh a little, "Don't give me that, I was having a moment."
He laughed, one of those sounds that are just like music, and it gave Elsa butterflies. Why? She wasn't sure.
Elsa sat down in a chair across from him and he shared stories of adventures he had over the last few year, that is, between times he came to visit her, but he decided that she didn't need to know that part. They talked and talked as the sun was slowly setting. About the time that dusk came upon the mountains, Jack asked Elsa about the great freeze and thaw she caused a few months earlier.
It was a long story, and she ended on the note, "So, yeah, I was able to unfreeze everything, and everything turned out alright in the end." But the tone in her voice was so unconvincing, that even Elsa didn't believe herself. Jack heard it too, but truly never needed to.
He thought for a long moment, and Elsa sensed the shift in the air. "Elsa, is that really true? When you said that everything turned out alright?"
Elsa's throat felt dry for a moment, "Well yeah, Anna was alright, Arrendale was saved, and everyone was happy." She explained.
"But what about you?" Jack countered. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to put his words together carefully. "Look, there is no simple way to say this, but I watched the entire thing happen, and you may have everyone else fooled, but I know you. I feel it in my bones, that Elsa, you are not completely healed yet, are you?"
That rocked her soul, threw Elsa completely. How could he figure all that out? Elsa had tried to convince herself that she was fine, but always felt in her gut that she wasn't. She was still scared and lonely, but how did he know that? Elsa stood from her chair, "Jack, I'm fine…" She tried to keep as calm as she could.
Jack stood as well, trying to reach out to her, "Elsa, you don't have to lie to me, we can make things better." Elsa kept backing up step by step, avoiding his touch. "You can open up about it and it will be okay-."
"No it wouldn't," Elsa was getting defensive and scared. "Because no one understands!" She couldn't believe she had just said that.
"But I did!" Jack argued with a hurt expression that cut like a knife. "But you shut me out, and never have I known why!"
Elsa could feel the power pumping through her, surging just below the surface of her skin. She had to get away from him before it was too late.
Elsa backed up further, "Jack, you need to go, you have to stay away from me-."
Jack's eyes looked beyond her and all of a sudden he was flying towards her.
At that moment Elsa backed up into a chair and she went falling backwards. Instinctively, her arms went out to grab anything, but all she felt was an icy blast escape her fingers. It went flying past jack, almost nailing him, and embedded itself in the wall opposite of her. The next thing she knew, Jack had caught her, a secure arm around her waist as he braced her. Their bodies were inches apart. "Can't you see Elsa, I can't…" He said weakly, but answered her truthfully. He heart wrenched.
She pulled away from him, sending a shocked and hurt expression to his face. "Goodbye Jack."
With that Elsa ran up the stairs, bounding couples at a time. All she knew was she had to get away from him, and that she had almost hurt him already. It took a part of her spirit away.
Jack was in shock, following her as fast as he could. "Elsa no! Stop! Please!" He begged. But it was too late. She reached her bedroom and milliseconds before he could stop her. She built up a wall to fill in the empty archway, blocking her completely from the rest of the world, and from him especially. The wall was at least one foot thick.
Elsa could hear Jack curse from the hallway outside her bedroom. Their heads were reeling, hearts were racing. At this point, Elsa was holding in sobs and tears that peaked in her eyes.
"Elsa please don't do this to yourself, not again. You don't want to be alone, we can work this out. Please don't do this! Don't you see it's killing you, and dammit, it kills me to watch! Please Elsa!" Jack exclaimed, but there was no response. Jack knew he was perfectly capable of melting the ice wall down to get to her, but knew it would be wrong of him to do so. He cursed. He walked out onto the balcony that looked over the main room of the castle.
His mind was racing; icy-hot blood was pumping through his veins and echoing in his ears like a drum. He felt tears sting in his eyes and he struggled desperately to hold them in. Jack are you seriously about to cry? He asked himself, Over some girl?
He immediately regretted that thought, for he knew she was not just some girl. He was her guardian, whether they liked it or not, and he cared about her more than he could have ever thought. His need for her, to watch over her and be a part of her life, was a complex and uncontrollable matter; he now understood that. He couldn't, and wouldn't run from what he could only describe as his destiny.
Jack turned and leaned back against the railing, and looked up to the top spires of the castle. He breathed in the cold air, one slow breath at a time.
Back in her bedroom, Elsa was absolutely breaking down. She knew that if she could have hurt Jack, even when she cared about him as much as she did, then she knew that she was totally capable of hurting anybody else. Jack seemed to have a part of her soul and heart that she never understood, and she died a little inside knowing that it would always be empty inside of her because she could never truly have him.
The thoughts and feelings were raging in her blood and mind, making it feel like ice was crystalizing within her veins, or maybe it really was. She felt as breakable as glass.
In frustration and hurt, Elsa took her hair down from its controlled braid, and it fell around her. She pressed the heels of her palms into her temples, trying to silence the thoughts and stop the tears that just kept steaming.
Jack was still out there, she could feel him there, and she had no idea what to do. She wanted to disappear, and get lost into oblivion forever. Elsa looked up at the heavens, and clenched her teeth as she spoke, "Why? What it the point? What am I supposed to do?! For years and years, I wasted away day by day, for everybody else. No matter how much it hurts, I did it." She paused a moment. "And what do I get out of it in the end huh? I get to close out the one person who understands; a person I really care about?! Why couldn't you just give me him, I love him…" She confessed without thinking, she could only finish in a whisper. "He hasn't done anything to deserve this, being set on me. Why did you have to do this to him?...What have I done to deserve any of this?..."
Elsa was shaking uncontrollably, feeling the cold inside her like a knife. She was truly breaking inside. She walked over to her bed, and buried her face in her knees. As she was holding in sobs, she prayed that she would just slip away all together.
To be continued….
Right in the feels….
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