Chapter 3 - Cole

It was a sunny day in Skyhold, as Cullen observed from the small window behind his desk. The sun's reflection on the snow-capped Frostbacks made the whole skyline sparkle. It was the type of day Cullen remembered loving as a child. He and his brother would catch frogs at the lake and his mother would huff and puff when they came home covered in mud. They'd take their time washing off in the backyard, though, enjoying every last bit of sunlight left. After dusk his sister, Mia, would collect all the moonflowers around their house, which only blossomed under the full moon, and make a necklace out of them. She'd put the necklace around Cullen and beg him to play some pretend game with her, and, after much resistance and groaning, he'd always give in.

"Captain Rylen's report on the Western Expanse for you, Ser."

Cullen sighed and waved the soldier out of his office. Those days were long gone now. He sat down and began to read the report when a bang forced him to look up to see Cole climbing up the ladder to Cullen's bedroom, carrying a large bucket under one arm. While Cullen was uncomfortable with Cole entering his private quarters, he knew he'd only be more uncomfortable if he actually spoke to him and decided to leave the boy alone for now. Cole had done plenty of strange things around Skyhold, but they were mostly harmless, and the Inquisitor seemed to trust him, not that anyone could figure out why.

Cullen continued reading the report as Cole climbed down the ladder without the bucket and walked out the door. His absence was only temporary, however, as he came back with a sack that seemed to be filled with dirt, and up the ladder he went. Cullen huffed when he lost his place in the report as Cole climbed back down and left again. The room was silent for a moment, and Cullen attempted to read the same sentence for the third time when Cole entered yet again, holding a small shovel.

"What are you doing?" Cullen finally asked, exasperated.

Cole looked at him blankly and responded, "Gardening."

Cullen rubbed the inner corners of his eyes. "But why are you gardening in my bedroom?"

Cole's stare remained unchanged. "Because it smells nice."

Cullen groaned. He should have kept his mouth shut.

"It won't make you feel better."

"What?" Cullen looked up at Cole who was now playing with the candle on his desk.

"Hitting me. You want to. But it won't make you feel better."

"Are you sure about that?"

Cole stopped playing with the candle and looked thoughtful. "The other won't make you feel better either."

Cullen forced himself not to fall into Cole's trap. He would not ask questions. He would not prolong this conversation. But Cole never did understand that it took two people to have a conversation.

"Twirling, turning, burning. Nothing's real. Like the pictures in the cage. You see but can't touch. They all disappear."

Cullen turned to face the window. The sun warmed his face as he closed his eyes and tried to block out the voice.

"Shades can't be solved with swords. Seeing, touching, feeling, knowing. If you don't know it can't be real. If it's not real you don't want it."

Cole fell silent and Cullen slowly opened his eyes only to find that Cole had moved to stand right before him, the sun shining brightly on his young face.

"She likes you too."

"That's enough!" Cullen yelled and stomped toward the door.

"But she's not real. You see but can't touch. You can't stab feelings with a blade."

Cullen opened to door and stood beside it. "Get out," he grumbled, trying not to hear the spirit's words.

Cole slowly obliged but stopped in front of the angry commander and spoke softly, "She won't disappear." Then he left and Cullen slammed the door behind him. He sat at his desk and picked up the report he still hadn't finished reading, with Cole's words swirling around his head in an uncomfortable way. After some time spent calming down, the door opened and in strode the Inquisitor.

"Was there something you needed?" he asked, remaining professional.

"I thought we could talk? Alone?"

"Alone? I mean of course."

The two walked onto the barracks wall…

That night, as Cullen took off his armor and prepared to sleep, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. They had admitted how they felt and shared a kiss. The one thing he had hoped for but never believed feasible had become a reality. If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough he could still feel her in his arms, taste her on his lips, smell her…

Cullen opened his eyes when he realized the scent wasn't just in his imagination. He looked around the bedroom and found Cole's gardening project – a bucket filled with dirt with some sort of plant growing out of it sitting on the floor. He walked over to examine it more closely. The winds shifted and the clouds blew away, revealing a large full moon. The moonbeams entered the room through the opening in the ceiling and landed perfectly on the plant. Before Cullen's eyes it blossomed into a milky white moonflower. Gently touching its petals, he remembered the happy nights of his childhood as the familiar scent filled the room. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Thank you," he whispered, and Cole, sitting on the roof, watching the moon, smiled.