Sapphire and Sunshine- 3
I was sitting in the chair that someone had pulled up next to Naruto's bed for me. It had been an hour since I'd come in here and nothing had changed. He was still unconscious and I was no closer to figuring out what to do with what I was feeling. My hands were clenched tightly in my lap to resist the urge to touch him. I really wanted to but at the same time it didn't seem quite right. There was also a thread of guilt that I wanted him conscious just so I could sort out my emotions instead of wanting him to be healthy.
I was glad that we were alone for the moment so no one could see me teetering on the edge. Now that Naruto had been stabilized, the doctors were keeping their distance. I wanted him to wake up so badly. If there were some magical way that I could fix this, I would do it in a heartbeat. My breath caught and my eyes widened as Naruto shifted on the bed. There were many things in the world that I knew were beyond my understanding but I was under no illusions that I really had the power to help him just by wishing. On the other hand, I wasn't going to argue if his condition suddenly improved. Leaning forward, I braced my hand on the bed.
"Naruto?" It came out as a whisper.
The blonde's eyes snapped open suddenly and when they focused on me, my heart nearly stopped. There was no fathomless, sapphire blue. The gaze that pinned me in my seat was blood red and filled with a malicious calculation that Naruto was not capable of displaying. Before I could reach to grasp the seal in my pocket, his hand clamped onto mine with a strength that had me gritting my teeth in pain.
The voice that spoke to me was low with an echoing undertone that made the hair on the back of my neck rise. "I can sense the seal you carry with you. For his sake, do not use it."
This was not Naruto. I had never spoken directly to Kyuubi or even seen the blonde when he'd been overtaken by his demonic chakra. But there was no doubt in my mind that I was seeing the nine tails manifesting now. To my knowledge, the fox had not possessed him in such a way before and I began to worry all over again. Those eyes watched me warily and seemed relatively satisfied with what they saw but the grip on me didn't loosen.
"Your skills are required."
"What have you done to him?" I wasn't sure how Kyuubi had taken over Naruto's body but as soon as I was able, I was going to seal the demon away where it belonged.
"I have merely kept him alive." Those red, slitted eyes narrowed. "Keep in mind that he would have died a dozen times over these last few days if it had not been for me."
"What do you want?" I was unsure what skills he thought I possessed that were needed but I wasn't about to give in just because he made demands. I didn't know what had happened to Naruto while he'd been missing or why the fox was speaking through him now.
"He will not wake on his own I am unable to reach him."
A frown creased my brow. I had no way of knowing if Kyuubi was being honest or not but he seemed strangely sincere. "What am I supposed to do?"
"You must enter his mind." The fox peered out of Naruto's eyes expectantly like I would be able to fix everything by snapping my fingers.
"I don't have that kind of power." Genjutsu and mental spells were not among my strengths.
"I will allow you entry. The rest will be up to you. You must break the cycle of pain where he is currently trapped."
"What happened to him?"
"Only he can tell you. You must wake him to find out."
"And what would you gain from this?" I was sure the nine tails had his own motivations for this and there was no way I was going to trust him. Not completely. Whenever his power had risen in the past, Naruto's consciousness had been completely overtaken. I'd read accounts of the emergence of the demon chakra and each time the blonde had come very close to dying. It was true that he'd been almost instantly healed each time but Jiraiya had told me that it shortened his life span every time it happened. I worried that my actions might give the fox free reign or perhaps release him completely.
Kyuubi's eyes flashed. "Believe me when I say that I want him to wake as much as you do. I cannot function with a broken host." Naruto's lips twisted in a smug smirk that the blonde's face had never worn before. "And let's be honest. Would you really want my power in anyone else's hands?"
I had to grudgingly admit that it was a good point. Even if Naruto had the full use of Kyuubi's powers without fighting for control, he would never use them for his own gains or merely to destroy on a whim. He was the strongest person I knew and he had an incredible sense of empathy that guided all of his actions. I knew that there were those with few scruples and less honor that would misuse that kind power. The grip on my hand loosened and Naruto's body let out a long sigh.
"It has taken a great deal of effort to heal this body through the seal that has been placed upon me. Even now, the breach I've made is starting to close. There is very little time before I'm pulled back in and trapped with him. Perhaps indefinitely." There was a wistful regret in the voice and the expression on Naruto's face was as open as I had ever seen it. If it was an act, it was a very good one. "As a former Jinchuriki, you are the only one who has the ability to merge with Naruto and gain entry into his mind. And he has touched your soul. No two beings can be closer than that. But I cannot force you." The red eyes were momentarily somber and filled with distaste. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was forced to ask for help in the first place. "It's up to you."
The rational part of my brain knew it was a very bad idea to trust the nine-tails. But the emotional part of me wasted no time in ignoring all of that if there was a chance to save Naruto. "Do it," I said, my voice firm.
"Be warned. You will be entering his consciousness where you have no power." Kyuubi narrowed his eyes again as he saw my expression. "He respects and admires your abilities but once inside, you will have no access to your own chakra." There was frustration in his voice now. For such a powerful spirit, it must have been grating to be dependant on someone else. "We have no time to waste. Prepare yourself."
Before he finished speaking the last word there was a twisting sense of disorientation and the room suddenly faded. Blinking rapidly, I tried to focus my eyes. The soft illumination of the treatment room had been replaced by a murky darkness and it was difficult to see. I was no longer sitting in the chair but standing in a dimly lit hallway. The steady drip of water echoed in the background and my feet were cold and wet. Several inches of standing water rippled around me.
Was this what the inside of Naruto's mind was like? How could it be? He was so full of energy, so brightly full of life. It was such a stark contrast to what I was seeing now. The bright shining brilliance of his smile was always warm. Perhaps there was more to him than what could be seen on the outside. Looking around, I tried to sense where Naruto might be but I felt nothing. True to Kyuubi's word, it seemed I had no power here. There was no sand for me to manipulate and I couldn't feel my chakra at all. But I wouldn't be able to find him just by standing here so I picked a direction and started walking.
My breath fogged lightly on the air and the cold water sloshing around my ankles made me shiver. It was as if all of the life had been drawn away from this place. But after a few minutes of walking, it started to feel the temperature starting to rise. The air against my face had a touch of warmth and I followed the sensation further down the hall. As I rounded a bend, the space opened up into a huge, darkened space. The water was deeper here and there was a reddish glow on the other side of the room. I could make out the silhouette of bars where a large pair of red eyes peered out from behind them.
"Whatever you're going to do, make it quick." There was a weariness to Kyuubi's tone and his presence didn't seem nearly as menacing as it had before. I came up to the bars and saw the great fox laying in the darkness with his tails curled around his flank.
"Where is he?" I asked. If he really wanted me to fix this, I needed to find Naruto. The fox's eyes narrowed but he merely sighed again. The numerous tails shifted restlessly before parting to reveal Naruto where he was curled up and pressed against Kyuubi's side. He was nude and trembling, his face scrunched up in pain. Kyuubi had said he was trapped but I didn't realize he was literally behind bars. But as I took a good look at the cage, I realized it was designed to keep Kyuubi in. There was more than enough space for Naruto to slip out or for me to get inside.
Just before I took those last few steps, I once again had the rational thought that it would be a very bad idea to get that close to the nine tails. Maybe he was merely waiting for the chance to find a new host. He'd said that I was the only one who could do this because I used to be a Jinchuriki myself. I wasn't sure if that made me a more suitable host than someone who'd never carried a demon before or not.
"You can stop giving me that look," Kyuubi rumbled. "I am bound to his soul. You need have no fear of me possessing you."
It was a little unnerving to hear him speak my thoughts aloud. Swallowing hard, I ignored my growing apprehension and passed through the bars of the cage. The ground rose slightly here to create a small raised area that was relatively dry. I paused just inside as I took in the sight before me. Up close, Kyuubi's posture seemed almost protective. He'd curled around Naruto's body and was now resting his muzzle on his front paws. It was an oddly contradictory image compared to the accounts I'd read of the fox's destructive nature. It wasn't evil menace I was feeling right now. Just anticipation and a moderate amount of anger. The fox was watching me intently and I had the feeling that if I made one wrong move, he'd do his best to tear me apart.
Turning my gaze back to the blonde who looked thoroughly miserable and pained, I felt an ache in my chest that I had not experienced since I was a small child. It was a wound that never bled but it tore at me from the inside. But this was the first time that it hurt because of someone else's pain.
"Naruto." There was no response when I spoke. Kneeling down next to Naruto I reached out gently touch his shoulder. "Naru-augh." My voice trialed off in a strangled choking sound when my fingers brushed his skin. So much pain. I felt my eyes rolling back as I was assaulted by sensations and memories that weren't mine.
The trees were rushing past as I traveled through the forest. A sudden cold sting at my neck spread numbness down my entire side. The sound of crashing of limbs that broke as I fell without being able to catch myself echoed through the trees. Something in my chest cracked on impact with a large branch and tore my breath away. The ground rushed up suddenly and I was sure that my neck would break. At the last moment, a cord looped around my ankles, stopping my momentum suddenly. It nearly popped my hips out of their sockets. And then there was nothing but darkness.
When I woke, I was bound tightly with my sight taken away by a blindfold and a gag filling my mouth. A kunai knife was buried deep under my ribs on my left side and it was hard to breathe because of the pain. Tight bindings cut into my wrists and ankles until they bled. Everything hurt. It was a wash of pain and torment that was unending.
Dimly, I was aware of my sense of self, that I wasn't really bound and gagged in the dark with every nerve on fire. Gaara. My name was Gaara. I tried to cling to the thought so I wouldn't drown in sensation. But what could I do? An immense feeling of helplessness overwhelmed me. I couldn't save Naruto if I was crippled by pain. But the brief moment of clarity was washed away by another wave of agony as the knife was pulled free. More images and sensations began to blur together into an incomprehensible muddle of pain. I was trapped like Naruto was trapped but I couldn't afford to give up. If our places were reversed he would never give up on me.
Gathering my will, I pulled myself together. As my sense of self solidified, I began to feel another presence apart from my own thoughts. It was small and fragile and the moment it noticed me, panic flared and it tried to pull away. Naruto. I reached out with my thoughts but he kept pulling further from me. I couldn't stand to lose him. But the pain and agony started to well up again and it started to disrupt my concentration. Then it rose up suddenly and crashed down on us both, taking on an invasive, ugly edge that hadn't been present before now. But before I could see the images that came with the sensations, Naruto began to panic all over again and pushed at me harder. He was doing his best to force me out.
"Naruto."
A stab of pain made me gasp but I wouldn't let go.
"Naruto."
It hurt so much it made me nauseous and it wasn't just the memories of pain that stabbed me. The more I regained my sense of self, the more the ache my chest grew. It swelled and mixed within me until it became nearly unbearable. The gnawing ache of it was tearing me apart from the inside out. I was trapped in the cycle of Naruto's torment and it wouldn't end until he woke from his nightmare. Pushing with all my emotion, I reached out.
"NARUTO! WAKE UP!"
Everything went black and there were a few moments of almost painful silence. I blinked a few times and the hospital room came suddenly into focus from where I was standing next to the bed. There was a warm trickle down my chin and the taste of iron in my mouth. I'd bitten through my bottom lip. But it was a distant feeling. I'd never realized that the absence of pain was an actual sensation. It was distracting enough that I barely noticed that the room had started to tilt. I thought I heard someone tentatively call my name as the floor rushed up and blackness swallowed me completely.
. . . . . . .
Awareness came slowly and I shifted where I lay. The sheets were clean and soft. But I didn't remember going to bed. The dim light in the room seemed bright when I opened my eyes and glanced slowly around. It took me a moment to realize that I wasn't in my bed. It was a hospital room.
"Gaara?" Temari was sitting at my beside with an anxious look on her face. I opened my mouth to reply but my throat felt raw and swallowing was painful. Temari handed me a glass and the cool glide of water soothed the swollen burn of it. The effort of sitting up left me strangely tired and after setting the glass aside, I lay back with a sigh. My sister was wearing that singular expression that was usually reserved for the moments when I had done something that both angered and frightened her.
"What happened?" she asked me.
What had happened? My memories were a hazy muddle of confusion that kept slipping through my grasp. But after a few moments of excruciating effort, they all came flooding back at once. My body reacted convulsively as my head swam with a wave of dizziness. I leaned suddenly over the edge of the bed and dry heaved. There wasn't much more in my stomach than the sip of water I'd just taken and bile burned the back of my throat. A cool cloth was laid against the back of my neck, its soothing touch a blessing on my suddenly heated skin. I'd only been injured a handful of times in my entire life and I had no real tolerance for physical pain. Even the memory of someone else's agony seemed too much for me to bear. I had no idea how Naruto coped with it on a regular basis.
Naruto.
I reached out and grasped Temari's wrist. "Naruto. . .how is he?"
"He woke up." Her tone was unhappy and I looked up to see her pinched expression.
"What's wrong?" I asked in alarm. Had he gotten worse? My worry rose as I struggled to sit up.
"The doctors felt a sudden spike in his chakra and they went in to check on him. You were standing next to the bed and then suddenly you fell to the floor. He. . ." She paused and wet her lips in a rare, nervous gesture. "When he saw you pass out, Naruto went a little crazy. It looked like the nine tails was emerging and they were afraid for your safety. He was just crouching over you and it didn't like he was causing harm but he wouldn't let anyone get near. He growled and bared his claws at everyone that tried to get close."
I didn't quite understand what she was telling me at first. I had no idea why Naruto would have behaved like that way. But when it hit me, I blinked in surprise. Even amidst the wash of pain and memory, Naruto had been trying to protect me. I supposed it shouldn't have surprised me at all. Out of everyone who knew me, he'd taken my death the hardest when I'd been taken by the Akatsuki. I wanted to talk to him now, to ask him what had happened. After all that I'd seen and felt, it still wasn't clear.
"Where is he now?" I also wanted to tell him that I was alright and that he didn't have to worry about me anymore.
"In the room across the hall." Temari reached out to brace my arm when I stumbled as I got up. "Gaara, he's okay but. . ."
"What?" I snapped. Her hesitance was starting to get on my nerves. It had been a long time since she'd been that careful around me and I didn't like it. The last time was when I'd been much less stable and could have potentially destroyed the village with my narrow-minded selfishness.
"They were afraid of what he might do. You were unconscious and they had to get you away from him." She paused and seemed to be trying to choose her words carefully. But under the heat of my stare, she let it out in a rush. "They sedated him and he's been restrained."
I'd been told once that the Konoha medics had tied Naruto to his hospital bed on more than one occasion so he could heal properly instead of rushing out to train before he was completely recovered. The story had amused me at the time but it wasn't funny now. I couldn't leave him like that, not after what he'd been through. The actual memories were hazy but his helplessness as he'd lain bound and alone in his captor's hands was clear and painful in my mind. I needed to release him before he woke again.
When I finally stood, I wasn't quite sure if my legs would hold me but I refused to go down. This was too important. Temari, realizing that I wasn't going to stay quietly in bed, followed close at my heels while trying not to crowd me. After this, both she and Kankuro would probably refuse to leave me alone for more than five minutes but I'd put up with all of that if I could just have my Naruto back.
When I opened the door to the room across the hall, I saw one of the medics leaning over Naruto where he lay on the bed. The blonde was shifting restlessly under the blanket and it was obvious that his movements were restricted. There was a paper seal pasted over his forehead, most likely to keep Kyuubi's power in check. It was tightly sealing in all of his power and even as weak as I felt, I could sense how it covered him like an unbreakable shell. A small whimper escaped him and I felt that ache in my chest again. My attention was drawn by the medic who was about to inject something into his IV.
"Stop," I said as I moved over and reached out to grasp her wrist.
The medic paused and looked up at me with a startled expression. "Kazekage-sama," she squeaked as she flushed slightly. "Pardon me sir. But Baki ordered that he be sedated. At least until you woke." Her expression crumpled in mild confusion. "But I guess you're up now."
I fought the urge to sigh as I released her. "That won't be necessary." Turning away and silently dismissing her, I leaned over to peel away the seal.
"B-but-" she stuttered.
I gave her a flat look and she flushed again before closing her mouth and scurrying out the door, most likely to fetch Baki or the nearest doctor. When the door closed behind her, I saw that Temari was careful to stay in the corridor to leave me alone with Naruto. Judging by the look on her face she was worried but knew me too well to get in my way. I doubted that my own expression resembled anything friendly but I didn't care at the moment. The only person I cared about was struggling to free himself from the bed.
"Naruto," I murmured as I finished removing the seal. At the sound of my voice, he relaxed a little and his lashes fluttered like he was trying to blink open his eyes. When the seal's power finally broke, I felt a surge of chakra wash over me. It might have been a mistake to do this by myself when I wasn't really at my best but I just couldn't leave him like this. The power prickled over my skin but strangely, there was no hint of the fox. The demon always rose when Naruto's emotions were high but all I felt was his own chakra. In the wake of the surge, Naruto's breathing quickened and he began to panic as he tugged at the restraints.
I pulled the blanket back and started unbuckling his wrists. There was also a strap across his chest and more buckles at his ankles. My fingers fumbled in my haste before I was able to loosen everything. When he was finally free, Naruto gasped and rolled off the other side of the bed to flounder on the floor. He was all gawky limbs and jerky movements as he tried to get as far away as possible from what he seemed to perceive as a threat. The blonde ended up backing himself into the corner, his eyes darting wildly around the room. That gorgeous blue was clouded with confusion and a touch of fear.
"Naruto," I said again, trying to keep my voice gentle. It was all I could do to keep myself from reaching out to pull him close and hold him. But somehow I knew that would only make things worse. I watched him try to figure out if he should be on guard or not and stayed right where I was.
After a few minutes, Naruto took a few deep breaths finally let his gaze settle on me. Recognition began to glimmer in his eyes. "Gaara?"
I didn't really know what to say to him. Asking him how he was or what had happened would be pointless and seemed inadequate. He looked jumpy enough as it was and I didn't want make it worse by making him relive all of it right this second. Instead of speaking, I came over and sat down cross-legged on the floor a few feet away from him. It was partly because getting any closer might make him nervous but also because my strength was starting to give out. I was exhausted and it was taking a lot of effort just to stay awake. Resting my hands loosely on my knees, I watched Naruto as he looked around the room with a slightly lost expression.
"You're in the hospital in Suna," I said after a moment.
It took a moment for him to process the information and he closed his eyes before letting out a shaky sigh. I almost sounded like relief. He didn't look much better than I felt. There were still shadows around his eyes and pinched lines around his mouth from frowning. Sighing again, he looked down and plucked at the loose pants he wore. His eyes flicked back to me and seemed to take in my appearance for the first time which was nearly identical to his own.
He frowned again but it seemed to be more from worry than distress this time. "You're not in the hospital too, are you?" The frown softened to a look of concern. "Are you okay?"
The twinge in my chest returned and my eyes began to sting. How could he be thinking of me after what he'd been through? "I'm fine," I told him.
He didn't seem to accept that answer completely but he was still too disoriented to push the point. Naruto's burst of panicked energy seemed to have left him and he slumped down in the corner. "What happened?" he asked quietly.
"You don't remember anything?" Right now I only had the vaguest recollection of what I'd felt earlier. After the rush of memory in my room, it had gotten foggy again. I wondered if it was some sort of defensive mechanism on my part. It had been pretty intense and perhaps my mind was trying to protect me from it.
He shook his head. "No. I was on a mission. It was simple, didn't take long. Then-" He trailed off and his lips thinned in distaste.
Before either of us could say anything else, the door opened suddenly and Sakura came in. "Naruto! Are you alright? Where the hell have you been?"
We both blinked at her stupidly. How had she gotten here so fast? Even pushing the pace, it took almost three days to get here from Konoha and I had just sent the message that Naruto had been found. But now that I thought about it, I had no idea how long I'd been unconscious. I glanced at Temari who was now standing in the doorway where Sai was peering around the doorframe beside her.
"They got here just before you woke up," she said. "I didn't get a chance to tell you."
I glanced back at Naruto and saw a shadow of panic and feear flicker in his eyes when he looked at Sakura. But he quickly shoved it down and struggled to his feet. He shot his teammate a lopsided grin and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
"Sorry Sakura. I guess I got totally lost on the way back." It was an obvious lie and the smile he aimed in Sakura's direction was a brittle cover for the distress that still simmered underneath. But I wasn't sure anyone else noticed. She reached out and smacked Naruto lightly upside the head while Sai commented dryly on his lack of direction. The blonde took it in stride and huffed good naturedly.
Sakura's expression was both irritated and worried. "Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamato would have come to see you too but they were still out searching when we got the news you'd finally been found. Everybody's been looking for you." She started looking Naruto up and down as if she could diagnose his condition just by looking. It was starting to make Naruto nervous and I rose to intervene.
Bracing a hand on my knee, I started to get to my feet but it was tougher than I thought it would be. As I struggled to rise, I felt a supporting hand at my elbow. Naruto had come over to help me stand and I felt that twinge at my heart again. When I looked at him, he wasn't smiling anymore and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Should I be grateful that he didn't feel the need to lie to me or disappointed because he wasn't trying to reassure me like he was everyone else. His lips pulled in another fake grin as he turned back to Sakura.
"I guess I should head home before Granny Tsunade chews me out for taking so long." But his tone made it sound like he didn't seem all that eager to return to Konoha.
"Well. . ." Sakura blinked and her fierce expression softened just a little bit. "We came to see how you were doing and she ordered us to tell you to take as much time as you need to get better." Her eyes narrowed slightly and she pinned him with a steely glare. "Don't make the doctors tie you down to the bed like that last time."
All color leached from Naruto's face and he swallowed convulsively. His breath shuddered slightly as he fought for some self control. Sakura seemed to mistake his change in complexion for a symptom of poor health and reached out to place her hand on his forehead which only made it worse.
"See?" she murmured "You should still be in bed."
Naruto's eyes flicked to the bed nervously. The straps were covered by the blankets where they'd fallen after he'd flailed his way out of them but it appeared that he still knew they were there. "I'm fine. I don't need to be in the hospital anymore." There was a thread of panic in his voice and I didn't like the sound of it.
Reaching out to gently touch his arm, I caught his gaze. "You don't have to stay here. Come home with me." I hadn't meant for it to come out quite like that. But at least I hadn't gone on to ask him to let me take care of him. I wanted to do that very much but I didn't think it would go over very well if I said so. As it was, I wasn't sure how the invitation would be received. Fortunately, Naruto seemed to latch onto the offer almost desperately while trying not to be obvious about it.
"I guess, yeah." He looked exhausted and I hoped that rest would be enough for now. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Temari move off to take care of the preparations. Naruto would have everything I could possibly give him to help him recover from whatever had happend. I just hoped it would be enough.
