Almost Like the Mafia

by TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, its characters or any of the multiple references I make herein.

A/N 1: A little bit of language in here. Jay has a big mouth. So does Manny. Fair warning.

Chapter Three

"Jeez," Spinner said when he spotted us. "It's getting so that anyone thinks they can walk in here."

I would have hugged him, but his hands were full of fried stuff. School had just let out, apparently and you just can't keep kids from their fries or mayhem ensues.

"Yo," Spinner called. "Holly J.! Pretend like we pay you for something!" He nodded toward an empty table and we took it. And to my ultimate shock, out comes Holly J. Sinclair in a Dot Grill shirt and an apron, telling Spinner not to get his panties in a bunch.

Emma and I smiled at her, mostly because you just don't piss off people who hold their food in your hands. Kelly didn't know her, so he smiled, too. And winked.

We ordered and she brought us our shakes and fries and stuff, and none of it smelled like sulfur, so we decided it was safe enough. Kelly flirted and Emma gave him the stink eye. Part of me wanted to bring up that hot male nurse again to remind Miss Emma not to throw stones. But I didn't.

We lingered over our shakes until the rush passed and Spinner could grab the empty seat for a second.

"So, you went to see him?" Spinner asked.

"Yep," I said.

He paused. "Well? Aren't you gonna say it?"

"Say what?"

"'Spinner, you were right. I should have listened to you and stayed in school and now I feel like a dumbass for driving all this way when I could have been doing whatever it is hot college girls do when they're not in class. Like studying in my underwear,'" he said.

"I wish," Kelly said. So me and Emma didn't know who to hit first. After a second, I hit Spin and she hit Kelly. They said "Ow" almost in harmony.

"I'm still waiting to hear it," Spinner said.

"Get used to waiting," I said.

"But you're going back now, right?" he asked. Kelly looked at me. Emma played with her straw and looked fatalistic.

"Riight?" Spinner asked.

"Well," I said. I turned to Emma and Kelly. "You guys can take off, if you want."

"Sh'yeah, that'll happen," Emma said. "Someone needs to make sure you get your ass back to school by Monday at least." Kelly nodded.

"Where're you guys gonna stay?" Spinner asked. I knew there was something I forgot to think of. Emma and I had homes to go to, but neither of us had really told our parents about Kelly. We'd mentioned a roommate named Kelly, but we left out certain specifics that I think would lead to some major high blood pressure for Dad and Snake. Emma and I gave Spinner puppy eyes.

"No," he said.

"One night?" I asked.

"It'd be one thing if I lived alone," he said.

"Your Mom loves company," Emma said. It was true. She seemed to like fussing over all of Spin's friends, probably out of relief that he has some. There were a few months there where he really didn't have any. "And Kelly is the best roommate ever. I bet he leaves your room cleaner than he finds it."

"Guys," Kelly said. "How bout I just go back, and then come get you on Sunday?"

Emma and I pouted. Spinner rolled his eyes.

"I'll call my Mom," he said, giving up. "If she's okay, I'm okay."

"You're the best!" I said in total relief.

"You better believe I am," Spinner said.

Kelly thanked him in advance, and started asking questions about Jay. "I've heard so much...stuff on the way over here that I really feel like I need to get a look at him, you know?"

"To see if you can find the mark of the beast?" Spinner asked. "Jay gets that a lot."

"Spin?" I asked. "I think table five needs a refill on their coffee."

"This is table five," he said. He stole one of my fries. "So there's no getting rid of you, huh?"

"Nope," I said.

"Guess not," Emma said.

"What are you even waiting around for?" he asked.

"Well…" I said. "Um…Hell if I know. I just wanna make sure he's okay."

"I thought that's what you were doing today?" Spinner said.

"Yeah" I said. "It was. But he's not okay yet. So I'm gonna stay a couple days, make sure he's settled back at his place."

"Uh-huh," Spinner said. "Manny. I'm one of his two best friends, so you should really listen when I say that you need to go back to school. I can check on him. Jane can check on him. Even Holly J. can check on him. You have nothing to worry about and you don't need to stay."

"Well, jeez, what are you trying to say, Spin?" I asked. "Don't hold back now."

"You think you're gonna go hang out at his place and be all Florence Henderson—," he said.

"Nightingale, Spin," Emma said."Florence Nightingale."

"Whatever," Spinner said. " If you think you're gonna be all nursey and then go back to school, you're crazy. Because I'm not gonna be stuck dealing with his drunken gooey ass when you leave him all depressed. Again."

"I...what?" I said. "First of all, I am not the one who screwed things up."

"I know," Spinner said.

"What kind of person do you think I am?"

"One who forgot how fast Jay can get his hopes up?" Spinner asked.

Derek Haig wondered aloud who he'd have to perform sexual favors for to get his damn curly fries.

"Ew," Emma whispered.

"Keep your pants on," Spinner said. "Please. Seriously, we can't have the cops come again." He took off for the kitchen.

I looked at Emma. She gave me the eyebrow and then did the unthinkable and agreed with Spinner.

"Do you remember those little toy koala bears that we used to put on our backpacks?" she asked. "They had pinchy arms and they held on to the strap and if you put them on your finger they cut off your circulation?"

"Em," I said, knowing where she was going with this.

"Don't Em me," she said. "He's gonna go all clingy koala on you. Are you ready for that?"

"Who is this guy?" Kelly asked again.

It's not like I'd thought any of this out or anything. I remembered panicking and throwing him out of the car on that first trip to Smithdale because in his mind we already had several kids, a dog, and a minivan, and in my mind I was friggin' eighteen. There was just so much need in him. Not that I wasn't used to that. Not that I was in a position to throw stones. But all the need, coupled with his thing for illegal activities, became too much for me. And now I was half about to jump back into the mess. And Spin was right (Shut up, he's right a lot of the time lately,) Jay had only recently given up on stalking me by cell phone; giving him false hope about us would be mean.

So I figured that it'd be a good time to be more organized. My first move involved going home and facing my Dad. Then, I figured, I'd have time to come up with a way to define terms with Jay, so that he knew from the get-go that I was his friend, nothing more.

Both Emma and Kelly waited outside my apartment for me. Emma was willing to step in if she needed to, but Dad was still on his "you're an adult, Manuela," kick. He just let me know that if I flunked, I was on my own. Then he asked about Jay.

"He'll live," I said.

"Your mother might look in on him, sneak him some pan de coco," he said. That was one of the main reasons, the 'rents liked Jay. He liked Mom's cooking. He ate everything they put in front of him, even the stuff I wouldn't.

"So when do you go back?" Dad asked.

"I thought I'd check on him tonight," I said, looking at my watch. It was getting kind of late.

"No, Manuela, when do you go back to that school I'm paying so much for?" he asked.

"Oh," I said. I had no freakin idea, but I had to tell him something. "Probably tomorrow."

Who was I kidding with that? I don't know.

He raised an eyebrow.

"No later than Sunday," I said. "I have the laptop with me and…" here I crossed my fingers behind my back. "…I've already emailed my professors about what's going on, so it'll be okay."

"Well," Dad said. "As long as you know what you're doing." He still managed to put so much menace into stuff like that. I could tell that in his mind, he practically had me living on the streets already, fighting people over cardboard boxes.

"I do," I lied.

Mom insisted on feeding me and Emma before we went back, and by the time we got a minute to ourselves to call Kelly, Spin picked up and told Emma that Kelly was crashed on the couch.

"It's only, like, eight," Emma said. She listened for a second. "Well, okay. Thanks again."

"Mrs. Mason's meatloaf," Emma said by way of explanation after she hung up. I pictured Kelly in a food coma, covered in one of those really cozy fleece blankets.

Truth be told, we both felt pretty sleepy ourselves, so we decided to visit Jay in the morning. I tried calling him, and he didn't pick up, so I assumed he was asleep.

The next morning, when we got back to the hospital to see him, Jay felt more like himself.

"Shit," he said when he saw me. I noticed that the other bed was still empty. That was a good thing. I didn't much feel like talking to Jay with someone else pretending to be asleep a few feet away.

"Good morning, Manny, so happy to see you again," I said. He ignored me.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Visiting my highly ungrateful ex," I said.

"Did you want a medal for that?"

"In your experience, do good things come from being pissy to me?" I asked.

"What do you want from me?" he asked. It was my day to field questions I didn't have an answer to.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I have no idea what happened," he said.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Excuse me?" he said. "Last time I checked you were a theater major. Unless I took a really good knock on the head and missed about ten years, you ain't my doctor."

At least he didn't ask if I played one on TV, I thought.

"Just answer the question meathead," I said. "You have anything better to do? Anything on TV?" I gestured at the TV bracketed to the wall.

He gave me that "you're trying my patience" look again, but then he sighed and said. "I dunno. Last thing I remember is some prep school geek asking if we could pimp his ride. He was driving a freakin butt-ugly Chevy that was older than God."

I smiled. "And when was that?"

"Um," he said. "Today's Thursday?"

"Yeah."

"Might've been Monday," he said. "I was supposed to have that beamer done for today."

"Who gives a damn about the beamer?"

"The dude who was paying me to do a ring and valve and replace the timing belt?" he said.

"He'll just have to take the bus," I said. "It's more environmentally responsible, anyway."

"You're rooming with the Eco-Nazi, aren't you?"

"How could you tell?" I said. "And you know you kinda missed having her around, too, admit it."

He shook his head, but he couldn't fool me.

"I am so screwed," he said. In retrospect, I realized he wasn't talking about what I thought he was talking about, but at the time, I assumed he was talking about work.

"You are not," I said. Tony, his boss, really didn't seem the type to ditch him for missing a couple days. And he was union. As far as I understood it, Tony couldn't fire him for this if he wanted to.

"Couple days?" Jay said when I told him so. "Try weeks."

"He'll put you in the office," I said. "He's done it before, so stop acting like this is the end of the world. Even though I know you hate doing the books."

"I really do," he said. "And what office? The little cubbyhole of doom in the back?"

"That's the one," I said. "It's cozy. We'll get you a troll doll to keep you company." Or a koala, I thought.

"I think I need some more drugs," he said.

"Don't we all," I said. "Do you know when you're getting out of here?"

"Later today," he said.

"What time?" I asked.

"Manny, go back to school," he said.

"You know you don't want me to go back," I said. If he had, I figured, he would have done a better job in trying to alienate me the night before. Even though he had been concussed and woozy.

"I wouldn't tell you to go back to school if I didn't want you to go back to school," Jay said.

"I'm going to go back, silly," I said. "After I'm satisfied that you're safe and have food that isn't condensed from a can."

"I'll order takeout," he said.

"Okay," I said. "Then you can get dizzy and fall down on the way to the door. Mess your shoulder up worse. Probably hit your head again and die."

He gave me a "cut the crap" look, but we both knew I was right and Jay Hogart has very strong self-preservation instincts.

"It's not like you're gonna cook," Jay said, but he was weakening.

"I can have my Mom help," I sing-songed. "If you're good, that is, and stop arguing with me about whether I'm staying because you're stuck with me visiting through the weekend." It was like this stuff was coming out of my mouth without my permission. It seemed to make it official. I was ready to let the clinging begin.

"If you're bad, though," I continued. "I might have to go to Emma's and borrow one of their vegan cookbooks."

There was a knock on the open door and we both looked up.

"Hey," Kelly said. "I'm going to the caff; I 'm just seeing if you guys want anything."

"Coffeeeee," I said. Kelly stood in the doorway and openly stared at Jay trying to get his mental picture to match up with reality. Jay looked at me for an explanation.

"Kelly, this is Jay," I said. "Jay-Kelly. Kelly was kind enough to give me and Green—Um, Emma a ride over here last night."

Kelly put out his hand to shake but when Jay didn't put his hand out, turned it into a little wave. Jay looked from Kelly to me and smirked.

"Yeah, so," Kelly said. "Nice meeting you, Jay. Want some coffee, or a donut?"

Jay shook his head. Part of me wanted to remind him about manners.

"Hurry back," I said. Kelly usually at least gives me a peck on the cheek, but he patted me on the head and beat it out of the room. I watched him speedwalk to the elevator.

"Who is that?" Jay asked, still smirking.

"I told you," I said. "It's Kelly."

"And I'll bet he just hangs around waiting to drive you places, huh?"

"He's our roommate," I said.

"Your what? Are you Janet or Chrissy?" Jay asked.

"Do you even need to ask?" I asked. I am so the Chrissy. "Emma and Liberty take turns being Janet."

"I think I had a dream like that once," Jay said.

"Ew."

"You should talk," he said. He, thankfully didn't say any more but I knew what he was thinking. I should never have told him about the Zack-Slater dream. This is what comes of watching TV while I'm a little drunk.

"So are you sure you don't wanna go get back to your pretty blond? And Greenpeace?" Jay said.

"The pretty blonds usually keep each other busy," I said. "Bet you when they go back today, they'll try to bribe Liberty to get lost so they could have the room to themselves."

"Push the twin beds together?"

"Nope," I said. "Bunk beds."

Jay chuckled again, and winced. "You really need to stop making me laugh."

"That'll happen," I said.

He looked at me for a minute, then he got all serious.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?" he asked. "And before you call for the nurse, I know I asked you that before."

"Then why're you asking again?" I asked.

"Because you didn't really answer me?" he said. "I mean, I know the hospital called you, but I don't know why you bothered to come."

"Yours is 'not to question why,'" I said. "Yours is 'but to do and die.'" Ms. Kwan would hate me for doing that to Tennyson, I was sure.

"What?" he asked. "What the hell kinda answer is that? You gonna feed me limericks next?"

"I don't know," I said. "I got the voicemail from the hospital. And I just...freaked. Because you know how hospitals don't really tell you anything over the phone and I didn't know what happened or how you were, and I was scared, okay?"

Again, it looked like he was weakening. His forehead crinkled up, then smoothed out before crinkling up again, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Well," he began. "Get the fuck over it. When Jack Tripper gets back here with the coffee, you can tell him to take you back to school."

"Jay."

"I don't need this," he said. "I don't need you here, giving me those cow eyes—"

"You don't need this," I said. "You. Don't need this."

Then it was like I was talking to the air. "He actually said he doesn't need this!"

Then it was back to him. "If anyone doesn't need this, it's me. I will have you know that I had my shit at least semi-together for the first time. I was settled in, doing okay in my classes. Having a good time, even."

"Don't let me stop you from getting back to that," he said.

"Too late," I said. "I'm already here. My schedule is already good and disrupted."

"My heart bleeds."

"Shut it," I said. "The fact is, I could've stayed at school. I could have just called Spin to make sure that you were still alive and then forgotten all about you, but I didn't."

"Still angling for that medal," Jay said.

"I said shut it," I said. "I didn't ignore the call. Wanna know why?"

"Because you're the reincarnation of Mother Theresa."

"Because you're one of the maybe five people besides my parents that I'd do that for," I said. "So don't be going on about how you don't need this, because you got it and you're stuck with it. Merry Fucking Christmas." I shut him up with that, but the moment of victory was ruined by sleeve tattoos! nurse coming in.

"You do realize that this is a hospital, right?" he asked. He didn't seem like he was about to throw me out, thank goodness. He actually seemed amused, like he'd been listening. Not that it was hard to hear my side of it.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Got a little carried away."

"Okay," he said. "Just try to keep in mind that sick people like it quiet. Got it?"

"Uh-huh," I said, looking appropriately guilty. The nurse asked Jay if he needed anything and when Jay said no, he left.

Any other day, Jay would be laughing at me because I just got yelled at. But there he was, lying propped on the bed, looking toward the windows to avoid looking at me. So I walked to the windows. He turned his head the other way. It was still hard for him to move much more than that. His shoulder still looked like it hurt a lot. This was the only reason I didn't perch on the bed next to him. Instead I let it be known that I could do this as long as he could.

"Manny," he said, squinching his eyes shut in annoyance.

"Yes?" I singsonged.

"Are you getting off on this?"

"On what?"

"Torturing me?" Jay asked.

"Yes, Jay," I said. "I'm having a blast right now. Woohoo."

He said nothing and continued to avoid looking at me. If he could have crossed his arms he would have. I knew I needed to say something to reduce the mess I was making.

"Jay," I began. "This is what's going on. We're always going to mean something to each other. We're friends, okay?"

"Heh."

"I'm always going to care about you," I said. His eyes narrowed at this, like he was trying to burn a hole in the plastic footboard of the hospital bed.

And it was like I was telling the truth, I really was. In my mind, the script was running along, about a sentence ahead of what was coming out of my mouth.

So yeah, Jay, we're bonded, I thought. And everyone and their brother warned me to stay away from you because it wasn't fair to you, but I couldn't stay away because I care so much. But it's not like we can get back together because...because...

And my mouth had time to catch up to my brain because my brain stalled, like a flooded engine.

"Because," I was saying.

At least he was looking at me again.

"Liar, criminal, can't be trusted," he prompted.

"Spinner would trust you with his life," I said.

"That's his problem," Jay said.

"And before the...incident with the ring, you'd actually kept your nose clean for a while, didn't you? Not counting the incident with the tow truck, that is," I said. Kept your nose clean? I thought. It was a Simpson-ism. And there were other things besides the tow truck thing that I knew about but didn't count, such as getting weed for Spinner when he was doing his chemo. But on the whole, I thought he was doing okay.

"Yeah," he said.

"I meant what I said when I told you that you weren't the same criminal you used to be," I said. "You could stand to cut back on the lying, though."

"Only you would say something like that," he said.

"I'm a realist," I said. "But we're talking about you. Now where was I?"

"Maybe, kinda, sorta, lie a little bit less," he said.

I let that go, but I felt my mouth quirking up all on its own. "And if you took maybe five minutes to think before you did things..."

"Uh-uh," he said. "Premeditation. Adds years to your sentence."

"Why couldn't you be in here for tonsillitis or something, so I could have a shot at getting a full sentence out?"

"That was a full sentence," he said. "And a long one."

"Way to miss the point."

"Missing the point and ignoring it are two different things," Jay said.

"Well, I guess all this talky-talky means that you're not mad at me anymore," I said.

He glared. "I was never mad at you. It's not that easy to get mad at you. That's part of the problem."

"Oh, okay," I said. "So all that growling just now was what, persiflage?"

"What?"

"Banter," I said. "Flirting. Cuteness."

"Yup," he said. "That's what it was, Dimp—"

"What was that?"

"Manuela," he said.

"Ooh, somebody's in trouble," a voice singsonged from the doorway. I jumped and put a hand over my heart, and after I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, I saw Jane trying not to laugh at me.

"Sup?" she said. "Manuela."

"Same old, same old," I said. "Anastasia." Jay snorted behind me.

Jane shrugged, like she knew she'd walked into that one.

"So what're you doing here?" Jay asked Jane.

"I've been sent to give you a ride home," she said. "Spin's on shift until five, so..."

"He lets you drive his car?" I asked. Spinner never let me drive.

"He insists," Jane said. "Because I usually clean it."

Jay made a whipcracking gesture with his good hand.

Jane shrugged again, not trying to deny anything.

"And you don't have school?" I asked.

"Well, ya know," Jane said. "I might have called in and said something about a family emergency."

"Family emergency," Jay snorted.

"Yeah," Jane said. "I have this pain in the ass brother-in-law who mooches from the fridge and sleeps on our couch. It's like Grounded for Life, without all the kids."

I wanted to hug Jane so bad.

"And this is for you." She opened the plastic bag she was carrying and pulled out some sweatpants, a button down shirt, and one of Spinner's jackets.

"Sorry to say, looks like you're gonna be commando," Jane said. "But I didn't think you wanted to borrow Spin's drawers, you know?"

She just had to say commando, didn't she? I tried to be cool, with the words "commando" and "sweatpants" running through my head.

"So he's probably not gonna want those back," Jane said.

"What do you say?" Jane singsonged, after he was quiet for a second.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said. "You're gonna need a little help with those, so, BRB." She grabbed my arm and dragged me out with her. She got the attention of the tattooed nurse and got him to send someone in to help Jay get dressed because, as I noticed right then, checkout time was in an hour.

While we waited, Jane led me to some chairs near the elevator. The tail end of a Law and Order: SVU rerun was playing on a TV mounted to the wall and Emma and Kelly were absorbed in it.

"Forget something?" I asked Kelly.

"Naw, here ya go," he said, handing me my coffee without taking his eyes off the screen. It was lukewarm.

"You guys meet?" I asked Jane, gesturing between her and Kelly.

"Sorta," Jane said. "Not that I think he'll recognize me later."

"Ha-ha," Kelly said. "Now stop making me miss Munch."

When the show ended, Emma asked me how Jay was doing.

"Well," I said. "His vocal cords are in perfect working order." Emma and Jane laughed.

"He tried to chase me off," I said. "It didn't work. He made it very difficult, but we had a conversation."

"And you wished him a Merry Christmas," Emma said.

"You heard that, huh?" I asked.

"People in Bangladesh heard that," Emma said. I was horrified.

"I'm kidding," she said. "I was walking by on the way back from the bathroom. But what's the status?"

"Status?"

"Are you getting back with him or what?" Emma asked.

"What?" I asked. "No!"

"So you didn't call him cute and he didn't have to stop himself from calling you Dimples?" Jane asked.

"I did not call him cute!" I said. "Just his...persiflage."

Emma choked on her coffee. As if Liberty had never used that word around her.

"So what's going on now?" Kelly asked.

"We just got a nurse's assistant to go help Jay cover up his persiflage so he can check out," Jane said. I tried my best to kill her before any medical personnel could pass by. She grabbed both of my wrists and held me off like I was a frisky kitten. This is one strong girl.

"Crap," I said, giving up the struggle as I thought of something.

"What?" Emma asked.

"I just realized that we didn't resolve anything," I said. "We just went in circles."

"How so?" Emma asked.

"I tried to, um, define the relationship," I said. "But..."

"The definition changed?" Emma asked.

"Ooh, good one," Jane said.

"Oh my God," I said, putting my head in my hands.

TBC

A/N 2: Mille grazie to the always excellent mistress of multifandoms, bsloths, for beta service and character discussions!

:-D