Guess who's back with the next chapter, just as promised?
Thank you all for your reviews last chapter. I'm pretty sure I replied to all the ones that I could. There were a few anonymous ones and one where the reply was disabled. I find it funny how all my anonymous reviews were of people complaining already about Tanya. I really don't understand anyone's issue with her. I've made her not a bitch in this story. Oh well.
Also, I'd just like to say that a lot of the pieces will fall into place in this update and the next one, which I may upload earlier than Monday based on how this week goes. But, hopefully these will give everyone who's freaking out about Edward a little peace of mind. Not that this chapter paints him in a good light, but we'll get to that later.
Disclaimer: I am not SM. I do not own Twilight, the characters, or any other publicly recognizable entities. I do, however, own my kicks 'Mischief Managed' shirt that I am currently wearing. That is all.
CHAPTER THREE
UNANSWERED PRAYERS
She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again
-Garth Brooks
Once Masen snaps me out of my stupor by asking if I'm okay, I pick up the phone and the spoon, tell my dad we'll be at his house tomorrow morning, and hang up. I clean up all the little pieces of dinner that spattered across the floor and thank God I hadn't been holding a knife or something in my hand. That would have been a disaster.
"Are you okay, Mommy?" Masen asks again, his expression concerned. I hate that I put it there.
God, he looks like his father.
"Yeah, baby. I'm okay. Grandpa just gave me some news. It shocked me, is all." Shocked me, made my heart stop, makes me want to sob like a two year old. Take your pick.
"No one's hurt?" He's too smart for his own good.
"No, honey. Everyone's okay. Don't you worry about it. Now, let's eat."
I serve the mac n' cheese into two plastic bowls and set them on the table. Masen gets our forks while I pour juice for him and a glass of wine for myself. I'm needing it now that my dad dropped that bomb on me. I have a glass at the end of the week anyway, but I may need a few tonight. And an impromptu girls night with Alice once Masen goes to bed. I'll call her after dinner.
I'm just sitting down and putting a bite of noodles into my mouth when Masen shocks me for the second time of the night.
"Mama, do I have a daddy?"
I sputter on the food in my mouth, and try to keep myself from choking. Masen just calmly waits for my response as he keeps eating, blowing on each forkful before shoving them in his mouth. I wipe my face with a napkin as I try to formulate my answer.
He's never asked about his father before. Not once. If he ever noticed that other kids in his class had two parents instead of one, he never said anything. I can't help but ask what brought this on. And I use it as a chance to try to give him some sort of answer that's not complete bullshit. I don't want to lie to my kid.
"Why do you ask, baby?"
His little brows furrow as he looks at his bowl. "We've been talking about families and stuff in school, and we have to write this paragraph about how it's like at home. We talked a little in class, and other people said they have a mommy and a daddy or two mommies or two daddies. When I said I only have a mommy, they all asked where my daddy was."
Dammit. Should've known the school would be the one to make me have to answer these questions.
"I told them I don't know. And now I don't even know if I have a daddy."
Oh fuck. There's tears in his eyes. Quick! Fix it!
"Well," I sigh, reaching over to grab his little hand in mine. His fingers are long, though, just like his dad's, and he'll be passing me up here in all departments in just a few years. "You do have a daddy, Mase. Everyone has a mommy and a daddy. Even kids with two mommies or two daddies. A mommy and a daddy make a baby, but sometimes other people become the baby's parents." I'm gonna fuck this up.
"Like adoption?"
Oh, thank God. "Yes, honey, like adoption. The kids with two mommies or two daddies most likely got adopted from their real mommy and daddy."
"Why does that happen? Why don't the mommy and daddy keep the baby?"
"Because, sometimes the mommy and the daddy can't take care of the baby, so they want to give it to someone who can." Best to save the part about people not wanting the babies for when he's older
"Oh. So did you adopt me?"
I'm thinking this conversation would be easier if I had.
"No, baby. You grew inside my tummy. I had you at a hospital, and I brought you home with me."
"Oh." He's quiet for a moment. "So I do have a daddy?"
I sigh again. "Yes, hon, you have a daddy. He's not here, though. You guys don't know each other." I can feel a lump forming in my throat, and I try to swallow to get past it. I may need more wine than I initially thought.
"So what happened to him? Is he in heaven?" We had talked about people dying a few weeks ago when my dad's dog died over the summer. Buster had been around since Masen was a baby, so he was pretty sad when he wasn't there anymore. My dad and I explained that death meant you aren't here anymore and your spirit goes to heaven.
"No, bud, he's still alive. He's just not around."
"Why not?"
"Well…" How do you tell a six year old that his father was like those people that gave up babies they didn't want to people that did want them? But instead of giving the baby to someone who wants to love them, he wants to make the problem disappear?
Fuck. I don't think I would have ever been prepared for this conversation.
I sigh. "When Mommy was younger, your dad and I were really close. And then when I found out you were in my tummy, I told your dad. We got into a fight, though, and Daddy didn't want to stay with me. So, now it's just you and me, bud. And Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper."
"And Grandpa," he adds. Ever the optimist.
I give him a small smile. "Yeah, baby, and Grandpa."
"So…" He thinks. "Is Daddy a bad person?"
Yes. "No, baby. He's not a bad person. We were just young and having a baby isn't easy, even for older people. He wasn't ready to take care of a baby, yet." I know this to be true now, and I no longer think he's the shit stain of the earth, but that doesn't mean I hadn't hated him at the time and for a couple years afterward. I'm still mad at him now, but I understand what he was probably thinking at the time.
Still hate his guts, though.
"But you had me all by yourself. Why couldn't my daddy do that?"
I've been wondering the same thing for seven years, kiddo.
Another sigh. "Because, even though I wasn't really ready for you at the time, I loved you too much to give you to some other mommy and daddy."
~WTIAA~
August 2009
"Fuck. What the fuck am I gonna do, Al?" I'm frantic and on the verge of hyperventilating. I know this. I'm fully aware that I'm about to have a full blown panic attack, but there's nothing I can do to stop it.
"Shit, Bella. Sit down; stop pacing. I'm afraid you're gonna pass out or something." She guides me over to my bed and sits beside me on it. She's right. I think there's a good possibility that I'm going to pass out and it would probably be better if I'm on a soft surface when that happens.
I'm full on hyperventilating now. Alice tells me to pull my knees to my chest and put my head between them. I listen to her tell me when to breathe in and out, and eventually I'm not panicking externally anymore, but there's a fucking war raging inside my head.
How the hell did this happen? We always used a condom. Neither of us wanted this to happen, so we always made sure we were covered before the touching and kissing got too far. There wasn't a time that I can think of that would have led to this. I know that condoms aren't one hundred percent effective, but I always figured that the worst case scenario would never happen to me. Now it has, and I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
"You need to tell Edward, Bella. And Charlie." Alice's voice is soft but there's an urgency to it. I know I need to tell Edward sooner rather than later. He's leaving for college in just over a week, and we need to figure this out. I'm terrified of telling both of them, but at least Edward won't kill me when he finds out. Charlie, on the other hand, just might. Ok, obviously not, but he's going to be beyond furious, and I don't know if I can handle that right now.
"I know, Alice. I'm going to." I really don't want to, but I'm going to.
"Do you know where Edward is right now?"
It's a Friday night, one of his last before he leaves, and he was invited to hang out with some of his friends from the baseball team. I urged him to go because I didn't want him to miss out on the opportunity, but now I'm kind of regretting it. I want him here, so I don't have to tear him away from his friends and having fun. Hearing what I have to tell him will ruin his night, for sure, and I don't want to do that.
"I do, but I'm going to wait until tomorrow." I've already decided that this is what I'm going to do. He can have his Friday night partying with the guys. I'll just tell him tomorrow and fuck up the rest of his weekend.
Yep, because that's so much better.
I hate everything.
"Bella…" Her tone is warning, but I've already made up my mind.
"He's out with the guys, Alice. I don't want to drag him away just to throw this on him."
She eyes me skeptically, like she expects me to chicken out until the very last minute, but I think she can see how serious I am about this, because she sighs and her frame relaxes.
"Okay. Call me if you need me to come with you."
"Can you drive me there?" Alice turned sixteen in March, so she has her license and her mom lets her borrow the car when it's available.
"Of course. I'll stay outside while you talk to him, just in case."
The next morning around eleven, when I'm pretty sure Edward will be up if he stayed out late, Alice and I drive the few miles to Edward's house. He lives just outside of town in this pretty fancy house. His parents are pretty well off. His dad's a doctor with his own practice in Port Angeles. His mom runs a charity that's based in Seattle. Everything they own is significantly nicer than what everyone else in town has. I got used to it pretty quickly when Edward and I first started dating.
Alice pulls up in their driveway and puts the car in park. She leaves the keys in the ignition as we both just sit there, staring at the garage doors. The radio isn't even on, which never happens, and it just adds to the heavy atmosphere.
"Do you know what you're going to say to him?" she finally asks.
I snort. "You mean besides, 'Hey, babe, guess what? You knocked me up. Sucks, right?'"
She grimaces. "Yeah, besides that."
I sigh and shake my head. "No, I have no idea. I'll just wing it, I guess."
"Did you bring the test?"
"You mean the Almighty Future-Crushing Pee Stick?" She gives me a deadpan look. "Yeah. It's in a ziplock baggie in my bag."
"You have your phone on you?" I nod. "Text me if you want me to leave. Otherwise, I'll be out here waiting for you."
I can feel the tears forming in my eyes now that I'm all out of sarcastic remarks. "Thanks for this, Ali."
She gives me a sad smile. "Anything for you, B."
I take a deep breath and unbuckle my seatbelt. I grab my bag from the floor in front of my seat and heave myself out of the car. I don't look back at Alice as I walk to the Cullen's front door, because if I did, I know I'd break down in tears. I'm afraid Edward's mom will answer the door, and she doesn't need to see me crying. Not yet, at least. No guarantees she won't see it later, though.
I hesitate for just a moment before I rap four times on the door. I can hear someone's footsteps coming toward the door and just a split second's pause between when the put their hand on the knob and when they open the door. As I feared, Esme is standing there in a comfy looking pair of jeans and a tank top, her hair pulled back into a sleek but effortless-looking ponytail. Everything about Esme always looks sleek and effortless, though, and it's one of those things that I just got used to when I started dating Edward.
"Bella, honey, you know you don't have to knock," she says with a smile.
"Oh, I just wasn't sure if Edward was up yet," I tell her honestly as she pulls me into a warm hug. Tears form in my eyes at the comfort she brings me and the knowledge that it might go away after today. She's become a pseudo-mother to me in the last two years, and it terrifies me that I might lose this.
Honestly, I don't see today going well, no matter how many ways I spin it in my head. In no reality of mine would Edward or anyone else be okay with me having a baby. I know that. But the number of outcomes is quite high. Edward can agree to stay here to help me, which I don't want, because it's his dream to go to Columbia and become a doctor. Edward can agree to help me but still go to Columbia, which I can't really see working out in the long run. Edward can tell me he doesn't want me to have to have a baby this young and suggest we give it up for adoption, which would be the most practical thing to do. Or Edward can tell me he doesn't give a shit what I do, because I was dumb enough to get pregnant, and he'll go off to school and never look back. No scenario really leads to a happy ending.
"I heard him walking around up there a few minutes ago, so you should be good to head up, dear." She smiles at me and closes the door behind us. "Do you want anything to eat before you head up?"
"No thank you, I ate before I came over." Lie. I threw up before I came over. Twice. Once from morning sickness, because on top of being pregnant, my body also hates me. And once because I was so damn nervous about coming over and telling him. I made the mistake of eating in between appointments with the Porcelain God. Bad idea.
"Okay." She squeezes my shoulder before walking toward the living room.
I take the opportunity to take in a shuddering breath and assess to make sure that I'm not in imminent danger of throwing up again. I haven't eaten anything since my second session, but there's no telling when the fetus will rebel against me again. I offer it my body as a safe haven and a source of nourishment and this is how it repays me?
Finally, I make my way up the stairs, gripping onto the banister for dear life, because I'm pretty sure it's the only thing keeping me upright at the moment. When I get to the landing, I let out the breath I seemed to have held the entire way up here. It comes out shuddering, like I'm on the verge of tears, which, admittedly, I am. I'm about to tear apart so much that has made my life good over the last two years. Fuck my life.
I knock on Edward's door since it's closed. There's a muttered 'come in' and I step through sheepishly. I close the door softly behind me. The smell of pizza hits me as soon as the door is shut, and apparently the fetus is not a fan of olives or mushrooms, because my stomach roils, and I'm dashing for the bathroom connected to Edward's bedroom before I can even really process what I'm doing. I barely get the lid of the toilet open before I'm retching into it, on my knees, both hands gripping the rim of the bowl. I'm glad I put my hair up earlier, because I didn't have time to even be worried about before I was already here.
The only thing left in my stomach is some water I drank to at least put something in my stomach. Edward is suddenly beside me, sitting on the edge of the tub. His warm hand is on my back, rubbing soothing circles.
"Shit, baby, are you okay?" His voice sounds so concerned and sincere. He stands and moves to the other side of the bathroom as I heave again, nothing coming up besides bile. I hear the faucet turn on and mumble a thanks when he hands me a wet washcloth.
"Are you sick, Bells?" There's that damn loving concern again, and I'm crying, both from the awfulness of throwing up and because I'm about to ruin everything. I don't deserve his love and compassion.
I shake my head as I reach up to flush the toilet. I lean my head against the closed lid, because even though I don't have a fever, puking makes me flush and the lid is nice and cool.
"What's wrong, babe? How can I help?" I finally look at his face. I realize he's shirtless, and it's the most glorious thing I've ever seen, even though I've seen it hundreds of times now. He's wearing his glasses, something he only does when he's lounging around one of our houses, otherwise he has his contacts in. His brows are drawn in and there's a softness in his eyes that is breaking my heart. He's not going to look at me like that in a second when I tell him the real reason I threw up.
I can't make myself say the words, though, so I take the coward's way out, and reach into my bag that's beside me on the floor. I can tell Edward is still waiting for me to answer as my hands find the plastic bag. I grip it and don't let myself think about it as I hand it to him. If I let myself think about it, I'll psych myself out of it. I can't let that happen.
His concerned look morphs into one of confusion as he glances down at what I gave him. Faster than I can really process, his eyes shoot back up to mine, and there's a fire in them. Not the passionate fire that I'm used to either. This one only contains anger.
"What the fuck is this, Bella?" His voice is low and even. It should have been unassuming, but I know what it really means. I've only heard him use it once before, and that was when he found out some of the guys on the team were harassing me. That had not ended nicely. This isn't going to, either.
"It's a pregnancy test," I whisper. Tears are already blurring my vision, and it's taking all that I have to not let them spill over. I don't want to cry in front of him.
"I know what the fuck it is." His voice is losing that dangerous calm quality and elevating. I know this one, too. It means he's panicking and he's about to freak out. I knew this wasn't going to go well.
"Then why the fuck did you ask?" His anger is fueling my own. My emotions have been all over the place enough as it is. My hurt and confusion at this situation is being morphed into anger because of the way he's acting. I can't help it.
"How, Bella?" I cringe when he calls me Bella again. He stopped calling me Bella a long time ago. I've been Bells to him for years. "I always used a condom."
I can't help but roll my eyes. Definite coping mechanism: sass. "Don't be fucking stupid, Edward. You know there was still a risk."
"Yeah, but only if you're stupid about it. I know how to use a condom. I've been using them for years."
I narrow my eyes at him. He promised a long time ago that he'd never bring up his past experience again. He was the one to implement the stupid rule. Of course I didn't like hearing about his times with other girls, but I could handle it. Apparently all bets are off now, though. Rules don't apply when he's pissed.
"I'm aware, Edward. But there's still only a…what?…ninety seven percent chance at preventing pregnancy. Someone has to be that other three percent."
"Then how come none of the rest of them got pregnant, Bella? Why was it only you? You don't want me to go to school that badly that you'd fuck with the condom?" He's voice has raised several volume levels. I'd be surprised if his mother can't hear him.
"Wow. Fuck you, Edward."
"Yeah, obviously you did."
I can't be this close to him anymore. I stand and smack his hand away as he tries to grab at my wrist. "Don't fucking touch me." I walk the few steps away to stand in the doorway. I drop my head so I don't have to look at him. I don't know who he is right now. My Edward is sweet and caring and soft. Sure, we've had our hiccups and ups and downs, but he's never acted like this. This isn't my Edward.
"I didn't fuck with the condom, Edward. I want you to go to school. You've worked hard for it. And I don't want a baby at seventeen. I wouldn't do that to myself on purpose."
"Then get rid of it."
I can feel the blood drain from my face. I'm pretty sure I break out in a cold sweat. My head snaps up so I can meet his eyes. His are void of all care that was just there a minute ago. There's only hard, angry, glass. Maybe this is the real Edward. Maybe my Edward was just a show. There's no way a guy can flip flop that quickly and easily.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
"Get rid of it. How far along are you?"
My teeth are clenched together painfully as I tell him. "Eight or nine weeks, I'm assuming."
"You're still in the first trimester. You can get an abortion." There's no feeling whatsoever when he says it. He sounds like a robot and it's starting to scare me.
"What the actual fuck, Edward?" My voice is raised now. I'm practically yelling. There's no way Esme can't hear us.
"You just said you don't want a baby at seventeen. I sure as hell don't want a baby. It's a pretty easy solution."
There's no waver in his voice as he says it. He's serious.
My tears are pouring down my face now, and I have no urge to wipe them away or to try to get them to stop. I want him to see how fucking angry I am and how he's ripping me apart.
"I'm not killing our baby. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I see it then. The way he's compulsively clenching and unclenching his fists, his sudden bravado, how quickly he's been talking, the glassy look in his eyes. Edward is usually calm and collected, laid back when it's just the two of us. I've only seen him this amped up twice before, and it wasn't good either time.
"Are you fucking high?" I'm screaming. I have no restraint anymore. It's too emotionally charged and my sudden realization knocked down all the walls I was keeping up to keep myself together.
He doesn't answer, but I know. Now that I know what I'm looking at, there's not a doubt in my mind that he probably did a line right before I came over. He's probably been keeping up his high since last night. He shouldn't have gone out with the team. "When the fuck did you start using again? I thought you stopped, Edward."
He shrugs. "One of the guys had it at the party. He gave me some to hold me over in college."
"Oh my god." I'm sobbing now, but they're angry tears. I want to hit him. "You told me you stopped. You promised."
"I did stop, but shit's hard right now, Bella." He's standing now, and his voice is raised again. I don't like how he is on cocaine. No wonder he's been such an asshole.
I can't help the disbelieving laugh that bursts from my chest. "Hard? Edward, we're on summer break. You've been doing nothing besides sitting, playing video games, hanging out with the guys, and spending time with me. What the fuck is so hard right now, Edward? And how the fuck is blow supposed to fix it?" I'm still screaming. I still don't care. I promised him once upon a time that I'd never tell anyone, especially not his parents, but I have half a mind to march downstairs and tell Esme all about her son's habit. That is, if she hasn't already heard about it from all the yelling we're doing.
Edward realizes this too, because he steps closer to me and grabs my wrists. His grip is too strong. He has no restraint when he's strung out. "Shut the fuck up, Bella."
I rip my wrists from his grasp, but I can already tell there's marks popping up. "Don't tell me what to do, Edward. She was gonna find out eventually."
"Were you planning to tell her?" He's furious. More so than earlier. He's always been defensive of his drug use. I was okay with it when it was just weed. When I found out about the coke, though, I blew my fucking lid. He swore up and down that he wasn't hooked on it, he just did it occasionally to study for tests and things like that, but I knew better. Any time I brought it up, he got really defensive. I should have told Esme or Carlisle sooner.
"No. Of course not. But she would've found out anyway. You're not as good at hiding it as you think you are." My voice has lowered from our screaming, but I'm still seething. This lying son of a fuck. (Can't say son of a bitch. Esme is the sweetest woman I know.)
"Well, she's definitely going to know now. You and your big fucking mouth."
I don't respond. I just walk into his room and go straight to the place that I know is his hiding spot. He's kept his pot here for as long as I've known him. I pull out his copy of The Swiss Family Robinson, a book I know for a fact he's never read. Behind it is a small vial. I had a pretty good feeling this is where he'd hide his coke, too.
"What the fuck are you doing, Bella?"
I grab the vial and place the book back. I bypass Edward and walk out his door. He's on my heels, but I'm already calling out Esme's name.
"You bitch!"
I hear Esme's gasp as she meets us at the bottom of the stairs. "Edward Anthony Cullen. What the hell is wrong with you?" She's furious. I've never seen her so angry. She thought she raised a perfect gentleman. But Edward's upbringing means nothing when he's like this.
"He's high." I place the little jar in her hands. Edward lets out a string of curses behind me. "This is his stash of coke. Eleazar's his supplier. Edward's been doing it since he was fifteen. He hides his drugs behind The Swiss Family Robinson book in his bookshelf."
Esme just stands there, looking between me and the vial in disbelief. "It's not mine. I don't use. You can test Edward if you want. I think he snorted a line about ten minutes ago." Fuck, it feels good to tell her all this. Edward has had this coming. At least I'm ratting him out out of love. He could've got caught with it by the police, and that would have been a shit show. He'll thank me one day.
I kiss her on the cheek, and there's a fresh batch of tears in my eyes. "It was great getting to know you, Esme. Thank you for everything." I give her a watery smile. She's still pretty dazed.
I don't look back at Edward as I walk toward the front door. I don't look back as I throw it open. I don't look back as I say, "Fuck you, Edward Cullen. Have a great fucking life." I certainly don't look back as I slam the door. And I most certainly don't look back when I hear it open again and Esme call after me. I just don't look back.
WTIAA~
September 2016
Masen and I spend a nice weekend with my dad. He looks at me with concern every once in a while, like he's expecting me to have a breakdown about his news, but I think I'm okay. The only time I ever really get anywhere close to panicking is when I see Esme Cullen from afar when I'm in the grocery store. My dad and Masen are out fishing, so I figured I'd find something to make as sides for the fish they bring home.
I haven't seen Esme since that day I walked out of her house after telling her about Edward's habit. I forgot my purse there, but Alice went back inside to get it for me. I would've gone in and got it when I knew Edward wasn't there, but there was a pretty good chance he was in trouble, which meant his parents basically put the house on lockdown. I can't even imagine how that conversation went when Carlisle got home. Carlisle always preached about the harmful effects drugs had on the body and made both his sons promise never to do any of them. Obviously, Edward hadn't taken that lesson to heart, and I didn't know about his brother. Hell, I didn't even remember his name. I never met him when Edward and I were together. His brother was quite a bit older and playing for the NFL by the time we met. He wasn't ever around.
When I was pregnant, I did everything in my power to keep the bump under wraps. Luckily, I didn't even start showing until it was cold outside, and it was easy to hide behind winter coats. Masen was born in March, and it's still cold outside in Forks during that time, so everyone in town was none the wiser. I wasn't ashamed of being pregnant, I just didn't want to Cullens to know, and word travels fast in a small town. I only had another year of high school after Mase was born, and between my dad's hours at the lumber yard, my hours at school and work, and Alice's offer to babysit whenever, only the three of us ever saw him. I moved to Seattle before anyone ever found out. I still wasn't sure if anyone knew. When I visited, I only stuck around my dad's house and the park.
Seeing Esme in the grocery store forms a knot in my stomach. The memories of all the times she was so kind to me and accepted me into her home are strong and lovely, but they're tainted now by what her younger son did. I miss her love and support, but I can't have it anymore. So, I hide out in the opposite side of the store and don't finish my shopping until I see her checkout and leave.
The following Friday at work, Tanya asks me to go to out to drinks with her and a few other girls from work. I agree because I still need to drink from the past weekend. Like, more drinks than the bottle of wine in my fridge was able to afford me. The weekend was too much. I'm going to take this weekend as an opportunity to wind down.
I call Alice on my lunch break to see if she can watch Masen tonight. I know Jasper is out of town on business and she's by herself in her apartment. She says she'd love to have Masen for a few hours, so I tell her I'll drop him off at seven.
The night rolls around, and I change from my work clothes to something more appropriate for the bar Tanya told me about. I trade my slacks for a pair of skinny jeans, but I keep the blouse because its sheer and button down, and the lace camisole I'm wearing underneath is just sexy enough not to be motherly. I trade my blazer for a leather jacket and my heels for a pair of boots. I touch up my makeup before rounding up pajamas and Masen's Gameboy. I take a cab over to Alice's since I plan on getting just drunk enough to need a ride home.
"Thanks so much, Ali," I tell her as she opens the door. She hugs Mase and takes his bag from my hand.
She waves me off. "You know I love having him. He's so good. Plus, I think you need this night." I told her all about my weekend from hell when I got back from my dad's Monday afternoon. She was just as shocked as I was by Edward's return out of nowhere. She's the only one that knows all the details about the last time I saw him. My dad knows we had a pretty spectacular falling out, but I obviously never gave him an in depth play by play about the atrocity that was our split.
"I'll be back around eleven," I tell her.
"Just crash here when you get back, B. He'll be knocked out anyway. We'll go get breakfast in the morning," she suggests. It sounds amazing.
I smile at her. What type of good karma had I accumulated in a past life to get a friend like Alice? "That sounds great, Al."
She waves me out and I hop back into the same cab that drove me here. The bar is only a fifteen minute drive from Alice's house, so we're there pretty quickly. Much of the business traffic has already died down, so the drive isn't bad. I hand the cab driver cash as he drops me off and thank him. I walk into the bar and immediately spot Tanya, a few other girls from our job who's names escape me, and Rose, a proofreader that I actually like very much. She's been at the house longer than I have, and I helped her on a few projects when I was interning. We get along well and we've developed a sort of friendship over the years. I'm glad I know someone other than Tanya.
When the girls see me, I instantly get catcalls and whistles from them, which causes me to blush.
"Holy shit, I don't think I've ever seen you in anything beside business clothes," Rose says as I take a seat. I chuckle as a waiter comes up and asks what I want. I order a Long Island iced tea.
"Me neither. I mean, you work a pantsuit, but goddamn," Tanya agrees.
"You've got a nice little body, Bella. What do you do to work out?" Rose asked, taking a sip from her margarita.
"Uh…nothing?" Chase around a six year old? "I don't really work out. I mean, I walk occasionally, but nothing other than that." I shrug. I'm not athletic. Never have been, probably never will be. My mom's naturally thin, so I guess I got it from her. The boobs and the butt came from the pregnancy, though. No seventeen year old should have that body that I did after I gave birth to Masen.
"You surely did something after you had Masen, right? I mean, I know it's been several years, but Jesus, you look good. Your ass looks great in everything." Tanya is probably a little buzzed already, because she's much more vocal than I'm used to. I'm used to Rose's lack of verbal filter, though.
"I mean, I was only seventeen. I bounced back fast. My mom was the same way," I tell them. The waiter comes back with my drink and I take a few sips gratefully. Alcohol has never been so necessary in my life. "And the ass is because of the pregnancy."
Rose knows about Masen. I told her the abridged version that I told Tanya a few weeks after we first met my junior year of college. She had seen me out with Mase one day when I wasn't at the office. I was just taking a trip to the grocery store when she ran into us. I answered her questions the next time I was at work.
"Do you even have any stretch marks?" she asks wistfully. I know Rose wants children one day, but she also wants the body she has now to stick around.
"On my ass, hips, and boobs. They used to be pretty gnarly, but they're faint, now." My doctor had said I had very elastic skin, so it was able to accommodate my growing belly when I was pregnant. The areas that I did get stretch marks weren't so forgiving, but I didn't mind them. They were just evidence that I had carried my wonderful little boy for nine months.
"Jesus. I should've had kids young," Rose mutters, and I can't help but chuckle.
"You're only twenty-seven, Rose," I remind her. "And you're engaged. You can start having babies whenever you want."
She agrees and then we start chatting with the whole table. I'm introduced to the other girls at our table, but the by the time I finish my my second drink, they're all gone. I can handle my liquor pretty well, but I cannot, for the life of me, remember their names. I'm going to hate myself the next time I see them and scramble for their names, but it can't be helped at the moment.
About two hours after I've started drinking, Rose gets a text.
"Ooh, Em just pulled up. He said his brother is going to come later, as well, once he gets off work."
I know Em is her boyfriend, but I don't know why his brother is relevant.
"He's getting off soon? Why didn't he text me?" Oh. Em's brother must be Tanya's boyfriend. My tipsy brain is a little slow on the uptake.
"Em said he swung by the hospital for his PT earlier."
"Oh, okay." Rose and Tanya are both a little drunk, too. Everyone at the table is.
Arms are suddenly wrapped around Rose's waist and she's squealing happily. Rose and the man behind her share a sweet kiss before he plunks down in the seat next to her. He slings an arm around her shoulders and smiles.
Emmett is a pretty large guy, but he's a linebacker in the NFL, so that's to be expected. He's cute, too, with dark curly hair, pretty blue eyes, and dimples that probably wet the panties of any girl so fortunate to see them. He's very attractive, but he's very obviously in love with Rose. They've been engaged for about six months now, and I know they're in the midst of planning a wedding for the off-season.
"Bella, I don't think you and the future hubby have ever actually met," Rose says.
I finish the swig of beer I switched to after my third Long Island. "No, we haven't. It's nice to meet you, Emmett." I shake his outstretched hand and return his easy smile.
"You too, Bella. Rose talks about you a lot. Apparently your her favorite copyeditor to work with." His voice is deep, and it matches his build perfectly. It's smooth though, and there's a happy lilt to it. Rose has done well.
"Oh, stop it," I say playfully, batting my hand at Rose. She giggles.
"It's true. I haven't worked with Tan yet, but I'm sure she'll be my second favorite when I do." Rose smirks and Tanya gasps in mock offense.
"So rude," she teases, and I laugh along with Rose and Emmett.
"Hey, you're my baby bro's favorite, if that's any consolation," Em jokes.
Tanya's grin turns mischievous. "Oh, it definitely is." The way she licks her lips leaves no room for guessing about what she's talking about.
Em groans and Rose and I laugh.
"Speaking of, when is he supposed to be here?"
Emmett shrugs. "He said he should be off around eleven. Which is in…" he checks his watch, "twenty minutes."
"Is it nearly eleven already?" I wonder. I completely lost track of time. I check my phone. "Shit, I gotta go."
"Gotta relieve the babysitter?" Rose wonders.
"Yeah, something like that," I mutter.
"Aw, I wanted you to meet my boyfriend." Tanya pouts.
"Another time, I promise. I'll see when my friends are free so we can all hang out," I tell her. I gather my purse and shrug on my jacket. "It was nice to meet you, Emmett."
"You too, Bella."
So...yeah. That happened. Ya'll might be at the peak of your urge to junk punch with this one. I get it, really, I do. Next chapter will have another piece of the puzzle, though, so don't be too harsh.
I have been asked if there will be an HEA for Bella and Edward. I just want to say, even though the odds look pretty shitty right now, I am all about an HEA. I'm a sucker for a good ending. So don't fret too much. It's just gonna be a bit of a journey.
As always, I appreciate any love, comments, concerns, whatever you wanna send my way.
Until next time, lovelies!
